Day 41: Breakfast

[oftemptation]

Endrance turned his head to look at the intercom, giving it a look that would wither an entire rose garden in an instant. He would never get used to ending up in his room again from somewhere else in the Institute

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[gentiana_clusii]

The last thing Ken remembered before he'd passed out last night was the sharp pain as the mimic's fangs pierced skin, pressure as his blood was drawn out--and desperation. He'd been too close to unconsciousness to fight back, even if he could, the thing had already had its mouth on his neck--one short bite would be all that it needed to tear his throat out. He'd been paralyzed with fear, indecision. He was lucky to still be alive after that. (Or distinctly unlucky, dependent on how cynical he felt like being that day.)

He woke shaking, the vague memory something terrifying at the back of his mind. Jesus Christ, this place was really going to kill him. Or drive him absolutely crazy (again.) His injuries were cared for--shoulder again in a sling, and he could feel the pull of stitches in his skin, bandages wrapped snugly around his neck. There wasn't much they could do for the bruises spread across his back and the soreness from being thrown into the ground--twice--and because of them Ken was moving much slower than usual.

His breakfast obtained, since the nurse herding him wouldn't let him off without, even if he wasn't at all hungry (actually, the thought of food made him somewhat nauseous,) Ken glanced around the room. No one he knew was sitting, yet. Not that he knew that many people. There were indeed a few new faces scattered amongst the older populace, one of which was sitting there with two fingers to his forehead. Speaking of crazy...

He didn't feel like dealing with newbies this morning. Ken removed himself to one side of the cafeteria, falling into a seat and putting his tray to one side to rest his head against the table, on top of his crossed arms.

[Free as the wind blows. Limit: any.]

[guardiancomplex]

[Man with a Guardian Complex? 83]

Touya awoke in his room, frowning a little at the ceiling. He'd missed talking to Yukito, and no doubt now Yue had returned with a vengeance. Well, hopefully Yuki would have a talk with him, and there wouldn't be any of this 'I haven't found a way out yet, so it's useless' bullshit.

His nurse babbled about how well-behaved he was as she escorted him to breakfast, and how if he kept up this behavior, he'd be out in no time. Cooperation was key! Touya found himself rolling his eyes.

Tray in hand, he began to scan the crowd for Yue. However, his gaze fell on someone else first.

"What happened?" Touya asked, rushing up to Ken, looking completely floored. "You were fine when we saw you last!"

[gentiana_clusii]

[Woo! \o/]

"That changed," Ken mumbled into the tabletop, before pushing his head up to look at Touya and trying a careless grin. It really didn't work too well, he was too tired and sore to fake any sort of believable cheer. "But it's not as bad as it looks. Nothing's broken." Just very bruised, torn, and chewed on. "And my shoulder was already injured. Just tore it up a little again."

[guardiancomplex]

Touya looked skeptical, but he also looked a little disturbed by the fact that Ken had been fine, and now he clearly wasn't. What if he'd died? What if Touya and Yue and Pocket Protector had been the last to see him? The idea was too strange for serious consideration.

"There are a lot of worse things than getting a broken bone," Touya said, taking a seat. "And tearing up a shoulder in the process of healing isn't good either. What happened?"

[gentiana_clusii]

"And I've probably had them happen to me at one time or another, too," Ken said quietly. Louder, he responded to Touya's actual question. "There was a brainwashed patient in the courtyard last night, while we were trying to get through. She roughed me up a little, 'n then a monster showed up when she let me off with the promise I'd backtrack. Mimic." He wasn't about to say that he'd nearly gotten his throat torn out by the thing, Touya seemed freaked out enough.

"I'll be fine in a few days." Physically, at least. Mentally, he wasn't so sure. He'd just regained some shaky semblance of sanity before getting thrown into this hellhole, with all the shit going on he felt like he was hanging on by a thread some days. "Well enough t'kick your guys's ass next time we get to play soccer," he tried to joke.

[guardiancomplex]

Touya nodded absently. "Sure..." If they got their asses handed to them in soccer, fine. It was just a game, after all--this was serious. Serious enough for Touya to put aside the fact that Ken lived in the same room as Yuki and worry. For the time being at least.

"Mimic... those are those things that look like people we know, right?" He wasn't exactly a bulletin connoisseur, but he read important things like monster posts, primers, and maps.

[gentiana_clusii]

"Right. This one looked like...a friend of mine. He used to be here, disappeared a few days ago. I knew it wasn't him, but...kinda was stuck between a rock and a hard place. And the hard place was on fire." Ken shook his head.

"My own fault for getting into that situation, I guess."

[guardiancomplex]

"I don't think anything here is anybody's fault," Touya said, starting to eat his pancakes. "We're doing our best to survive and get out, right? So we can't just hide in our rooms all day and all night--nothing would get done. We have to take risks..."

Touya stabbed another section of pancake. "At least, that's what I think."

[gentiana_clusii]

That was what Ken used to think, too. But after so much ineffectual fighting, people he cared about--people that were stronger than him in nearly every sense--vanishing, being taken in by the Institute's lies...well, he was starting to think otherwise. It was incredibly hard to just spend day after day getting his ass kicked and not begin to think in other, more cynical terms.

"Mm," he responded. "It's just frustrating when the risks aren't paying off. Sometimes I feel like we're playing Russian roulette with half the chamber loaded instead of just one bullet."

[guardiancomplex]

Touya nodded. He supposed he understood the feeling--taking risks and having them not pay off was probably both really irritating and depressing. Touya, though, had just arrived, and was still full of that reserved optimism.

"I get that it's frustrating, and that you must feel like you're beating your head against a wall. And I'm sure that I'll feel the same way soon," Touya admitted, looking down at his tray. "But Yuki and Yue need people to stand on. And you don't have to be one of them, but it'd be great if you could be."

The young man toyed with his fork, tapping it lightly against the side of his plate. "If... if you have someone you're fighting for, maybe that makes it easier."

[gentiana_clusii]

Ken sighed tiredly and looked sidelong at some of the other people around him. Some were new, and looked alternately confused, afraid, angry. He'd felt like that, when he first woke up in this God forsaken place. Now he was just tired.

"I'm not strong enough to be of much worth to anyone," Ken said frankly. He was nearly at the breaking point, and he couldn't be sure which way he'd go. He'd made himself so dependent on others--on Aya, Omi, Yohji--and now with two of them gone and newly determined to try to stand on his own, Ken wasn't sure how strong he could be for himself, much less other people--no matter how much he cared about them. He'd failed twice already, after all. Omi's leaving was a particular painful point, Aya's more shocking and unnerving than anything. If the strongest of them could buy into the pack of lies, what chance in hell did Ken have?

"I did. They're gone. They were both stronger and better than I could ever hope to be." At least in Ken's eyes.

[guardiancomplex]

Touya rested his chin in his hand, looking at Ken with a heavy-lidded expression. "You two really aren't all that different, are you?" he said. "Yue keeps thinking the same thing, and it's really annoying. Y'know why?"

Touya slid aside his tray, giving him room to rest his elbows on the table. "Because if you talk like that long enough, it'll be true. You aren't just going to wake up one morning and feel like you can take on the world--you'll keep going down until you can't get up in the mornings. And then the people who know and care about you will think, 'Hidaka's given up, so I might as well too'. And then where will those people be? In the same position as you. And then the people they know will give up. That is, if they're as lame as you are at this."

Touya swore, if Ken was the reason Yue was convinced he was powerless to do anything, he would hit him.

[gentiana_clusii]

Ken gave Touya a tired look, then ran his hand through his hair. "You're giving everyone else too little credit." Or him too much. He didn't hold that much sway on anyone.

He sighed and rested his chin on one hand, gazing off into the middle distance. "...it's just been a shitty series of nights. I'll be back to my normal cheerful bastard self soon enough. Then you can get pissed at me for being obnoxious and punch me in the face or something and all will be right with the world."

[guardiancomplex]

"Or you too much," Touya provided, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. "Yuki likes you, though, so that means that you have to be different from everyone else." Or Yuki wanted to fix Ken's terrible attitude and thus they became friends. Of course that said something about his and Yuki's relationship. Thrown together by magic, quite possibly...

"I don't punch people in the face. I pick them up and tell them to stop harassing my sister. You're too big, so I'm just lecturing you," Touya said with a small smirk.

[gentiana_clusii]

Ken glanced back at Touya, trying on another ill-fitting smile. "...quit reading my mind, I get enough of that from other people." He turned back to the younger man fully, shaking his head slightly. "I don't know why Yuki likes me. I'm not unhappy that he does, 'cause if anything it makes dinner shifts a whole lot less awkward, but..." Well, he wasn't someone all that safe to get close to, or all that worthy of friendship and caring.

"Oh, whatever. That's why I said 'or something,' you know. You older brothers and your sister complexes."