Day 41: Breakfast

[oftemptation]

Endrance turned his head to look at the intercom, giving it a look that would wither an entire rose garden in an instant. He would never get used to ending up in his room again from somewhere else in the Institute

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[bewarethecute]

Maybe if Ururu hadn't been told almost the same exact thing so many times, she might have been willing to listen to Akihiko. She knew what it was like, not wanting people to get hurt, after all. But for Ururu, the possibility of Ken being hurt was much more important than the chance she could end up that way. The last thing she wanted was for someone else she cared about to be hurt--or to disappear entirely.

"But if you know how it works, you can tell me what to do if something bad happened." Ururu wanted to be there. She wanted to be able to help if Ken-kun needed it. She wanted to make sure he didn't get injured, or worse. "I'm not as strong as I'm supposed to be here, but I'm still strong! And I can fight too. And I want to help make sure Ken-kun's okay!"

Ururu hit the table when she said that last part. She hadn't realized just how upset she'd gotten, but now that the words were all out, Ururu felt like she was on the verge of crying again. She hated it. Being told that it was better if she didn't help so she could stay safe. That wasn't how it was supposed to be. Not all the time anyway. And when she wasn't there, bad things kept happening. People kept going away.

Ururu didn't want things to go wrong. She didn't want Ken-kun to leave like everyone else!

Suddenly talking about boxing didn't seem as important anymore. So Ururu just nodded a bit in reply to what Akhiko said, then looked down at the table.

[fourtharcana]

Oh, crap. Not as planned. Not at all. Uh... Akihiko looked around for a moment for any familiar faces, then, realizing they were all otherwise occupied, cursed silently. So how the hell am I supposed to tell a little girl that we don't want her seeing one of her best friends shooting himself in the head, even if it's not going to hurt him? There was really only one way around it that he could see, and while it wouldn't be pleasant either, it was better than the alternative.

"Ururu-chan," he began, in the most reassuring tone he could muster, "None of us thinks you're weak, and we know you want to make absolutely sure Ken's okay. We can even bring him to your room after, so you'll know that he's all right. But...the power we're talking about isn't something that most people can do anything about. That's not meant as a bad thing or to hurt you, but it's the truth."

He took a deep breath. Now for the fun part. "My best friend back at home...had the same power I'm talking about. It went out of control one night, and when it did, it hurt a lot of people. One of the people that it hurt was Ken's mom - she actually died in the accident. It wasn't anyone's fault, and we did everything we could after that to make sure that it never happened again. But I know that he would feel terrible if something went wrong and you were hurt seriously. We don't want that to happen."

[bewarethecute]

Even if Akihiko said they knew she wasn't weak, that wasn't how Ururu felt just then. She stared at her pancakes in silence as Akihiko explained about the danger, and what had happened to Ken's mom, and what they were afraid would happen to her. It all meant the same thing to her, the same lesson she'd learned over and over. Every time a friend of hers got hurt, or every time one of them vanished.

Ururu just wasn't strong enough to help. She couldn't do any good for the people she cared about most.

"O-Okay." The little girl shook as she spoke, unable to help crying even as she agreed to what Akihiko was saying. She didn't want to stay away. Ururu wanted to be there when Ken tried his power, in case she could help. She wanted to believe she could do more for people than just hide in her room and wait, because it really hurt to think that's all she was good for here. But Akihiko clearly thought it was best, and Ururu didn't want to hurt Ken if he was right.

Because he could be right.

She might not be strong enough.

Ururu's shoulders hitched, and that was all the warning Akihiko got before she let out a loud sob. This wasn't right, and it wasn't fair! She was supposed to be able to help the people who were her friends. But now she couldn't do anything, and people kept going away because of it. Orihime, Shiki, Renji, Hitsugaya, Rukia, Kisuke-san...how many more times was it going to happen? Why couldn't Ururu do anything to help her friends?!

[fourtharcana]

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. What am I supposed to do here? He looked out again, trying to catch Mitsuru's eyes with a clear 'I'm in deep trouble, can you get over here for a second and back me up?' look, but she was in full-on information-gathering mode. He sighed deeply, then looked across the table.

"All right. You can come out tonight, on three conditions. One, that you promise that you won't interfere when he first uses that power. It's going to look like Ken's hurting himself, but I can promise you that isn't the case. Two, that you listen to what Mitsuru and I will tell you to do if anything bad happens."

He sighed again, then looked directly into Ururu's eyes. "Three, if we tell you to go back inside, you promise that you will, without any questions. I still think it would be better if you weren't there, but if you can do all of that, you can."

[bewarethecute]

Ururu had to struggle to stop crying enough to hear Akihiko; even when she stopped sobbing, the tears continued to fall. But it sounded like he had changed his mind, and Ururu was glad. She still felt upset about all the things he had talked about, but at least this way, she could be there to help Ken if he needed her. That's all she had wanted to do in the first place.

The girl listened carefully to the conditions. The first two weren't so bad. If Akihiko and Ken both said the power wouldn't hurt him when he first used it, then Ururu could believe them. And she could listen really well too, so that wasn't a problem at all.

The third thing though--Ururu almost winced a little as she thought of all those times she couldn't quite remember what happened after she'd seen someone get hurt. Especially that time with Danny, when she suddenly found herself holding a very squished, very dead bug. Even back home it happened; just before she'd come here, Ururu had snuck out of bed, and then the next thing she knew, she'd had a very big hole in her body. Ururu knew it could happen again, and if it did, she wouldn't be able to stop it.

And that meant she couldn't promise Akihiko what he wanted without lying.

"Um." Ururu gripped the edge of the table, trying to think of what to do. Maybe if it got really bad really fast, they'd tell her to go back inside before she couldn't do it. Then she'd be able to, and that meant saying yes would be the truth! It still didn't exactly feel that way, but Ururu thought that this was one of those times when Jinta-kun would say that she should stretch the truth so they (or specifically, he) didn't get in trouble.

And it really wasn't a lie, exactly. Right?

"Okay. I promise." Ururu wiped her face dry with her hand again, hoping that she wouldn't end up having lied. She didn't want Akihiko to be mad with her and say she couldn't see Ken anymore. That would be really bad.