Day 41: Breakfast

[oftemptation]

Endrance turned his head to look at the intercom, giving it a look that would wither an entire rose garden in an instant. He would never get used to ending up in his room again from somewhere else in the Institute

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[bewarethecute]

Ururu was relieved to hear that Akihiko wasn't mad; the last thing she wanted was to get her friend in trouble. It was hard enough just being in the Institute sometimes without getting people angry too. Of course, when the older teen started talking about the bear, Ururu started feeling bad again.

"I'm sorry you were scared." Though Ururu couldn't exactly say it was smart not to expect really bad monsters to show up. But as Akihiko had said, she had been there longer. "Ken-kun and I didn't run into any monsters. Just a weird person who went away." Speaking of, the little girl took that moment to look around the cafeteria. Not for the weird man though. "Ken-kun was trying to get a dictionary last night, but he fell. I didn't have a chance to check on him before the night was over. Would you let me know if you see him?"

When Akihiko asked her about why Ken wanted to know about all of this stuff, Ururu hesitated. "He never really said why. I know there are birds that eat virgins though, because people on the bulletin board said so. They're scary, but if you punch them hard enough in the right places, they'll die. I know that because my friends and I fought them before."

[fourtharcana]

"There's no need to worry about that," Akihiko replied. "We were prepared for a lot of monsters, but sometimes things happen that you don't expect despite that - I don't know if anyone's ever run into a monster bear before, so. The important thing is that we know they're out there now, so we can warn people about them."

He nodded at that statement, unable to hide the concern that flashed over his face just then. "Yeah, I'll keep an eye out for him. I'd wanted to talk to him about something later anyway, so I'll let you know how he's doing once I've done that."

That last statement very nearly made him choke on the sip of orange juice he'd just taken. Well, that was one rumor that was verified, though the fact that it had to be verified by a little girl was certainly surprising. "Wow. Well, it's good to know that if you punch them hard enough, they'll die."

[bewarethecute]

Ururu nodded in agreement with Akihiko about warning people. She could still remember running into the ghost--or rather, trying to punch through it. That'd been a terrible thing, and she didn't want anyone to have to go through that again. "I hadn't run into a bear. But I don't always go outside at night, so maybe that's why."

She was glad that Akihiko had promised to tell her, and it showed as she enthusiastically bowed her head. "Thank you, Akihiko-san. I really appreciate it. Oh, and I still have Ken-kun's spear and his flashlight. I made sure not to drop them." Even though she would have if it had meant she could catch Ken when he fell. But since that hadn't been the case, Ururu decided not to mention that. She'd made a promise, after all.

Ururu didn't really realize Akihiko was so surprised. The birds were actually kind of close to what she was used to dealing with at home, so for Ururu, they weren't so bad. Especially since she knew she could punch them. "Yes. Not everything is like that." Which made those things much harder to deal with. But speaking of punching, there was something else Ururu wanted to bring up just then.

"Are you still running the boxing club? Um. The one that's a martial art." Ururu hadn't forgotten about her confusion on the bulletin. "I thought it sounded kind of fun, so I wanted to come to it, if that's okay. At least when I'm not helping my friends."

[fourtharcana]

"I'll tell him that you have those," he nodded. Well, that was something he'd have to remind him not to do, leaving his gear around, but at least it was in a friend's hands as opposed to someone else's. And it hadn't really been his fault.

At the same time, though, this posed a problem - when to arrange to get them back? They really couldn't wait much longer to do Evoker-checks on their whole team, and that needed to happen as soon as possible. There was also how to broach that subject as a general rule. "When should I tell him to come find you to get them back? We need him for a mission tonight, so..."

The change of subject was welcome after that. "You're welcome to come any time you want," he said with a smile. "I'll probably be trying to get a meeting organized tomorrow night."

[bewarethecute]

Though she would have quickly corrected Akihiko's mistake had she known what he was thinking, Ururu could only hope that whatever was said would be good. The last thing she'd wanted to do was get Ken into trouble, especially after everything that had happened on the bulletin board. She couldn't help but look crestfallen, however, when Akihiko made it clear that Ururu wouldn't be able to go with Ken that night.

"He told me his room number. I can bring his things there." Part of Ururu knew she should be doing things with lost and found, but spending time with Ken was important to her too. Besides, Ken didn't think she couldn't fight, and Ururu liked that.

At least she'd be able to see him though. That way, she could be sure he was okay, and still there.

Ururu nodded when Akihiko told her about the other plans. "Okay. Does Ken-kun like boxing too?" It might be something fun they could do together. That'd be nice.

[fourtharcana]

This was another one of those situations where it wasn't clear that he had, in some way, stuck his foot in his mouth without realizing it until it had happened. Akihiko frowned as he thought. On the one hand, yeah, it was bad that she was so upset about it. On the other? She might possibly be a whole lot more upset if she saw him actually using the Evoker, and that wasn't even getting into the possibility that Ken's Persona might go out of control. It was better that the only ones around for that test shot were himself and Mitsuru. The question was how to explain it.

"I'm sorry, Ururu-chan," he said, looking her in the eye as he did. "But there's something that we need him to try to do tonight." He took a deep breath and another drink of his juice, then continued. "There are some of us here that have a special ability to fight. We've found that it doesn't work the way it would at home, and we're trying to figure out why by having everyone try it. The reason we don't think anyone should come along is that the bad doctor that runs this place took Ken for an experiment a few days ago, and it affected that power. It's possible that when he uses it, something unexpected will happen. My friend Mitsuru and I have known how to use our own powers for a long time now, and we know how to stop it and help him if that happens. But someone could get hurt, too, if they weren't sure, and we don't want that to happen."

He tried to be reassuring right after that last sentence with a smile. "We don't think it will happen, but we'd rather be on the safe side."

And again, the topic change. "Well, I don't know if he's tried it, but you can always ask."

[bewarethecute]

Maybe if Ururu hadn't been told almost the same exact thing so many times, she might have been willing to listen to Akihiko. She knew what it was like, not wanting people to get hurt, after all. But for Ururu, the possibility of Ken being hurt was much more important than the chance she could end up that way. The last thing she wanted was for someone else she cared about to be hurt--or to disappear entirely.

"But if you know how it works, you can tell me what to do if something bad happened." Ururu wanted to be there. She wanted to be able to help if Ken-kun needed it. She wanted to make sure he didn't get injured, or worse. "I'm not as strong as I'm supposed to be here, but I'm still strong! And I can fight too. And I want to help make sure Ken-kun's okay!"

Ururu hit the table when she said that last part. She hadn't realized just how upset she'd gotten, but now that the words were all out, Ururu felt like she was on the verge of crying again. She hated it. Being told that it was better if she didn't help so she could stay safe. That wasn't how it was supposed to be. Not all the time anyway. And when she wasn't there, bad things kept happening. People kept going away.

Ururu didn't want things to go wrong. She didn't want Ken-kun to leave like everyone else!

Suddenly talking about boxing didn't seem as important anymore. So Ururu just nodded a bit in reply to what Akhiko said, then looked down at the table.

[fourtharcana]

Oh, crap. Not as planned. Not at all. Uh... Akihiko looked around for a moment for any familiar faces, then, realizing they were all otherwise occupied, cursed silently. So how the hell am I supposed to tell a little girl that we don't want her seeing one of her best friends shooting himself in the head, even if it's not going to hurt him? There was really only one way around it that he could see, and while it wouldn't be pleasant either, it was better than the alternative.

"Ururu-chan," he began, in the most reassuring tone he could muster, "None of us thinks you're weak, and we know you want to make absolutely sure Ken's okay. We can even bring him to your room after, so you'll know that he's all right. But...the power we're talking about isn't something that most people can do anything about. That's not meant as a bad thing or to hurt you, but it's the truth."

He took a deep breath. Now for the fun part. "My best friend back at home...had the same power I'm talking about. It went out of control one night, and when it did, it hurt a lot of people. One of the people that it hurt was Ken's mom - she actually died in the accident. It wasn't anyone's fault, and we did everything we could after that to make sure that it never happened again. But I know that he would feel terrible if something went wrong and you were hurt seriously. We don't want that to happen."

[bewarethecute]

Even if Akihiko said they knew she wasn't weak, that wasn't how Ururu felt just then. She stared at her pancakes in silence as Akihiko explained about the danger, and what had happened to Ken's mom, and what they were afraid would happen to her. It all meant the same thing to her, the same lesson she'd learned over and over. Every time a friend of hers got hurt, or every time one of them vanished.

Ururu just wasn't strong enough to help. She couldn't do any good for the people she cared about most.

"O-Okay." The little girl shook as she spoke, unable to help crying even as she agreed to what Akihiko was saying. She didn't want to stay away. Ururu wanted to be there when Ken tried his power, in case she could help. She wanted to believe she could do more for people than just hide in her room and wait, because it really hurt to think that's all she was good for here. But Akihiko clearly thought it was best, and Ururu didn't want to hurt Ken if he was right.

Because he could be right.

She might not be strong enough.

Ururu's shoulders hitched, and that was all the warning Akihiko got before she let out a loud sob. This wasn't right, and it wasn't fair! She was supposed to be able to help the people who were her friends. But now she couldn't do anything, and people kept going away because of it. Orihime, Shiki, Renji, Hitsugaya, Rukia, Kisuke-san...how many more times was it going to happen? Why couldn't Ururu do anything to help her friends?!

[fourtharcana]

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. What am I supposed to do here? He looked out again, trying to catch Mitsuru's eyes with a clear 'I'm in deep trouble, can you get over here for a second and back me up?' look, but she was in full-on information-gathering mode. He sighed deeply, then looked across the table.

"All right. You can come out tonight, on three conditions. One, that you promise that you won't interfere when he first uses that power. It's going to look like Ken's hurting himself, but I can promise you that isn't the case. Two, that you listen to what Mitsuru and I will tell you to do if anything bad happens."

He sighed again, then looked directly into Ururu's eyes. "Three, if we tell you to go back inside, you promise that you will, without any questions. I still think it would be better if you weren't there, but if you can do all of that, you can."

[bewarethecute]

Ururu had to struggle to stop crying enough to hear Akihiko; even when she stopped sobbing, the tears continued to fall. But it sounded like he had changed his mind, and Ururu was glad. She still felt upset about all the things he had talked about, but at least this way, she could be there to help Ken if he needed her. That's all she had wanted to do in the first place.

The girl listened carefully to the conditions. The first two weren't so bad. If Akihiko and Ken both said the power wouldn't hurt him when he first used it, then Ururu could believe them. And she could listen really well too, so that wasn't a problem at all.

The third thing though--Ururu almost winced a little as she thought of all those times she couldn't quite remember what happened after she'd seen someone get hurt. Especially that time with Danny, when she suddenly found herself holding a very squished, very dead bug. Even back home it happened; just before she'd come here, Ururu had snuck out of bed, and then the next thing she knew, she'd had a very big hole in her body. Ururu knew it could happen again, and if it did, she wouldn't be able to stop it.

And that meant she couldn't promise Akihiko what he wanted without lying.

"Um." Ururu gripped the edge of the table, trying to think of what to do. Maybe if it got really bad really fast, they'd tell her to go back inside before she couldn't do it. Then she'd be able to, and that meant saying yes would be the truth! It still didn't exactly feel that way, but Ururu thought that this was one of those times when Jinta-kun would say that she should stretch the truth so they (or specifically, he) didn't get in trouble.

And it really wasn't a lie, exactly. Right?

"Okay. I promise." Ururu wiped her face dry with her hand again, hoping that she wouldn't end up having lied. She didn't want Akihiko to be mad with her and say she couldn't see Ken anymore. That would be really bad.