Nightshift 21: Hallway Behind Disciplinary Therapy Rooms

[high_prosecutor]

[[coming from here]]Miles Edgeworth had developed a routine over the years for how to handle nightmares. He would wake with a start, quietly walk to the bathroom and splash his face with cool water, then walk quietly back to bed. He'd taken to keeping a book by his bedside for the - common - nights when sleep didn't come again afterwards

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[grosse_sklaven]

A soft hiss escaped the boy's lips as that soaked shirt scrubbed the deep wounds, mangled fingers clenched into bruised palms as Adel squeezed his eyes shut. He shouldn't have even felt the pain, why was he so weak? Every night, it seemed, he'd been so useless, always a burden, being saved instead of saving... or at least so Adel felt. Even those times he had stood out like a blazing star were forgotten at that moment.

"You shouldn't be thanking me," the teen muttered as he leaned forward, giving the lawyer room enough to work with. Of course, bandaging the wounds on Adelheid's torso brought the two men close, so close that Nick's warm breath could be felt by the teenager, and so the German felt a little awkward even as he continued looking away. Why was he fine with letting the man see him at his worst? Normally he'd have insisted that the others be looked after, but... perhaps it was just Phoenix's concern that was making it different? "I did nothing of note except getting slammed into the wall and being 'bait' for its attention. I wasn't able to protect anyone, much less your friend."

And for the life of him, Adelheid Bernstein didn't understand why the other was attempting to be consoling. Failure was failure!

[in_your_defense]

"Adelheid...if it weren't for you, he wouldn't even be alive. I don't think I could have done it without you." Phoenix was insistent, even in the face of Adelheid's anger. "I have all the right to thank you for sticking your neck out for me. If I wasn't thankful...that would be stupid. And selfish." His fingers moved gently, delicately spreading out the bandages in an attempt to bind the wounds tightly but without hurting Adelheid.

"If you hadn't been able to protect any of us, we wouldn't even be breathing." Phoenix paused in his bandaging, and he moved his right hand up, his fingertips touching Adelheid's jaw in an attempt to get him to look back. "Look at me, Adel. I can't do anything that you can. I couldn't have gone face to face with that thing. If you didn't do anything, then what does that make me?" Phoenix was silent for a moment, before a slight smile appeared on his lips. Adelheid had sacrificed himself to help Phoenix, and was now in pain as a result of it -- he had nothing to be ashamed of, no matter what had happened. "You were a hero out there, nothing less."

Phoenix's blue eyes were full of admiration and concern for the younger man. It was difficult for Phoenix to see Adelheid like this, so defeated and disappointed with himself, and it was all he could do to try to cheer him up, regardless of whether it was going to work or not.

[grosse_sklaven]

"I..." Adelheid only slowly let the other man raise his jaw, crimson eyes reluctantly meeting with blue ones. And what was being said? It stunned the boy. Even if he didn't believe what he was hearing, he couldn't deny that the words were sending an electric thrill down his spine and through his heart. And those eyes... Adelheid couldn't remember the last time anyone had ever looked at him like that. Eric's had always been sparkling with mirth, as though the man was in on a joke and waiting for Adel to get it. Rose had always had utter confidence in him, and therefore never so much concern.

This was... different. And strange. And Adelheid honestly didn't know how to handle it. It made him feel awkward, it made the words he wanted to say twist around into nonsense in his mind, and at the same time it made warmth spread through his being. It was the same way he'd felt when Nick had massaged his hand after giving the demonstration; undeniable tenderness, and with an undercurrent that the teenager didn't understand but nevertheless liked.

It made him straighten up, a tiny fraction; despite the hatred he held for himself, the older man's words weren't being ignored. Just... disbelieved. "I'm not a hero," he muttered at last, "I... it's different for me. I should have been able to do more. My power should have been enough to hold it off for everyone. I should have been able to keep anyone else from needing to sacrifice themselves."

The name of Bernstein, the weight of his own power and his responsibility, were such heavy burdens to bear... "As a Bernstein and as a warrior, it's intolerable for others to have paid for my lack of skill. Even if..."

And that was where he stopped. How could he say that the life of Edgeworth and Phoenix weren't worth his own shame? To do so would be the height of hubris and idiocy, and yet that was how he felt. In the end, he lamely changed it to, "...I should have been the one to lose consciousness while fighting. The others shouldn't have needed to pay that price."

[in_your_defense]

"Considering what this place does to everyone who does have powers...you did more than enough." Phoenix finished bandaging up Adelheid's torso, before he picked up the flashlight and shined it down on Adel's palms. "It isn't all your responsibility...I'm sure you gave it everything you had." The bruises were large and on the joints of Adelheid's hand, where it would be most bent when he moved his fingers...and for Adel to pay the price of not being able to use his hands, he had to have. "I'm sure everyone did. They chose to stay and fight alongside you. They're part of your team...and I know how hard it can be, when you don't want them to feel the pain. When you wish you could take everything on yourself."

He began to loop the bandages around Adelheid's left palm, his thumbs gently smoothing over the dark, wounded spots on his hand. "But...I know they all gave everything they could -- I think that's something to be proud of." Just like Maya, when she had tried so hard for me and had even stopped training just to help me... Phoenix didn't know exactly everything that had gone on in the battle, but he knew that none of the people who had come into that hall would have given anything less than their best. It wasn't even possible to give less, when this mental hospital took away so much and left only the bare minimum.

Phoenix regarded Adelheid seriously. He knew Adelheid was fully capable of doing incredible things outside of this hospital, but they were here, and this place had different rules that none of the patients could control. "You were part of that. Even if you think you should have been injured like them...it doesn't matter. As long as you fought as hard as you could, logically, without thinking of what you could do if you weren't here, you have nothing to not be proud of."

[grosse_sklaven]

"I don't... I've never had a team." Adelheid looked away again, holding his hands out straight for Phoenix to continue wrapping the bandages around, knowing that it wouldn't matter so much but a part of him really liking how the older man would do all of this. It was strange, but he'd missed the simple bonding of a weaker person looking after his wounds. And it was easy to speak this way, in this more intimate atmosphere. "I've always fought alone, always relied on my own strength, until I got here. And I don't like thinking that others will have to do this, for my sake."

It was grating, and unforgivable, at the same time. He had servants, of course, and in such a dangerous business as he had been in casualties had been expected... but never had he been truly close to them, nor had the relationship ever been anything except money for service. This was something else entirely, and it hurt because he hadn't offered anything to the others.

"Nick... my best isn't good enough any longer. I thought, at the start, that I could use my own power to find the answer and escape, and that teaming with others was a luxury and not a necessity. But last night, and now this... once I could be defeated only by treachery. Yet this time, only treachery allowed us to come out alive and victorious. It... may be best for you to find someone else to protect you." Now he looked at the lawyer, his voice soft and yet imploring. "I made that rash promise without knowing the full truth of the matter. I could easily take this pain on myself, many times over, but I could not live with myself if you were to suffer as the others here have. So... please, ask around and find someone more powerful than myself to entrust your safety to. Take the medical kit, if that would be a useful bargaining tool for it."

It tore Adelheid up inside, to be saying all of this, but it was true. He couldn't protect Nick, not from the more powerful things in the Institute. And even though he barely knew the older man, Adelheid knew that he would never forgive himself if his laxness led to the other's harm. Hence why he had been so adamant in Nick knowing to run as soon as any of the true fighters had told him to.

[in_your_defense]

Phoenix was silent as Adelheid spoke, letting him say his piece without interrupting.

A few moments after he was finished, Phoenix shook his head. "Adel...it doesn't matter if you were injured. It doesn't matter if I have the medical kit, or if you think that you can't protect me. I'm not going to leave your side just because this place hurt you. I'm your friend. I would never do that to you...friends don't turn around and decide that any of their friends are useless and aren't worth staying around. I know you promised...and you haven't done anything to break that promise. Even if you did, I wouldn't hold it against you, and I wouldn't leave." A smile appeared on Phoenix's face. "We're in this together, right? That's what we agreed on."

Phoenix then moved on to Adel's other hand. "That was my promise to you, too. I know I'm probably not the most useful person here...but I'd like to be part of your 'team', if I can." We're all in this place together. Without each other, we'll fall apart. Just like Edgeworth and I...if we didn't bond together, or if I didn't want to find him...we could have lost each other here. The defense attorney understood what Adelheid was saying. But what it sounded like to Phoenix was a lonely plea for a connection, as isolated as Adelheid seemed to want himself to be. "Your best is something I'm grateful for. Not every person in the world likes to put their heart and soul into protecting someone else. I think that's more valuable than anything else I could ask or bargain myself for."

Phoenix knew Adelheid was a good person. It was evident from every direction that he was, and the defense attorney was never going to walk away from that kind of thing when he knew, honestly, that Adelheid had done nothing to drive him away. And even if he had, the problem would have been worth working on and solving -- Phoenix wouldn't abandon him because of something like that.

[grosse_sklaven]

Once more, Adelheid found himself completely and totally unable to understand why Nick was saying what he was saying. It just didn't make sense. He had told the man the full truth, that Adel wasn't strong enough to protect the man, and that there were likely others who could. And yet Phoenix continued saying those things, and despite himself, Adelheid found himself believing.

It had to be the way Phoenix Wright said all of those things, with such complete sincerity and with that heart-warming smile. That was what made Adelheid believe that the older man wouldn't leave him just because he was injured, and that Nick was a friend who wouldn't decide that Adelheid was useless or weak, and that they were in it together... and most importantly, that his protection was valuable. More than that, that it was both appreciated and considered the most important thing.

Nick would probably be upset by Adelheid's next actions, but any protests were silenced by a raised hand. The bandages around both hands were unwound, up until the tender flesh was revealed once more. Then, gently, Adelheid took Nick's hands between his own. It hurt, it felt like a thousand blazing knives were jabbed into the wounds... and yet he smiled, something of the gleam in his eyes returning as he gazed at Phoenix. It was almost ritualistic, in a sense, but at the same time Adelheid said it so honestly that it was obvious his words came straight from his heart. "My best may not be enough, but I offer it again. I will protect you to the utmost of my abilities, and I swear that we are in this together. As you said to me, so I say to you; 'I'm your friend,' and 'friends don't decide that any of their friends are useless or not worth staying around.'"

The words shivered in the air, strong despite all of the pain that Adelheid had to be feeling. Only when the last echo had died away did Adel speak again, his smile just a little bit wider as he tried to joke, however lamely. "...though I still don't understand how all of you became my friends without me being consulted on the matter."

[in_your_defense]

Phoenix's brow furrowed in concern as he opened his mouth to protest against the fact that Adelheid was removing the bandages, but quieted when he saw the motion of Adel's hand. He then listened, his gaze focusing on Adelheid's in the faint light from the flashlight, his expression softening gratefully, warmth spreading through him as Adelheid took his hands.

Interrupting the quiet that had followed Adelheid's words felt almost as if it would be a crime if Phoenix said anything -- so he let it linger, warm and reassuring. The defense attorney then spoke a few moments later, his voice a soft whisper in the quiet. "...thank you. For everything. I don't think I'd be here without you." A warm sensation tightened comfortably within Phoenix's chest, and the feeling was strange as he looked into Adelheid's eyes. The connection was almost magnetic in nature, and the emotion left Phoenix floundering for words as they scattered in his head. Phoenix could have blamed it on the fact that he was happy that Adelheid was still alive, but there was something more, and Phoenix took in a deep breath in the attempt to gather himself together again. I don't think Edgeworth has ever looked at me like that. Feeling immediately ashamed of the thought, Phoenix gently withdrew his hands, beginning to redo the bandages. He was hardly upset -- worried, perhaps, that it was going to worsen things if Adelheid touched him, but not angry in the least.

And for that promise...Phoenix couldn't muster up any anger. The removal of the bandages had been Adelheid's choice, and the connection Phoenix had felt had left his heart pounding unforgivably fast in his chest, leaving his nerves a frayed mess. He had more reason to be angry at himself than anyone else, least of all Adelheid. Phoenix suddenly felt like he was betraying Edgeworth just by thinking about this, but it felt so unbelievably good to see a smile on Adel's face and to hear him crack a joke after being so deeply depressed, and Phoenix couldn't resist the thought. "Do we need to ask permission?" Phoenix teased Adelheid, a smile on his lips. He would have embraced Adelheid, but it was terrible enough that he had even let the thought enter his mind, and a joke was all that he could return.

[grosse_sklaven]

That moment lingered, and it did something to Adelheid. His eyes warmed up even more, his smile widening a tiny fraction as he gazed into those blue orbs. It was strange, what the teenager was feeling, but at the same time he rather liked it. Even with the pain in his hands, he could tell that Nick's own were soft, not calloused from battle like Adelheid's own were. Not childishly soft, there were the marks of age on them, but the teenager knew that this man had come from a gentler world, a kinder one. That only strengthened his resolve to keep Phoenix safe, to protect him to the utmost of Adelheid's abilities.

Even though the words had been whispered, they thundered in Adel's mind. 'Thank you.' It was such a simple phrase, yet it meant a great deal to the boy; he'd insisted that it was his duty to protect Nick, and that should have been the end of the matter. Yet gratitude was expressed anyway, honest gratefulness instead of hubris or dismissal. It was stunning, but stunning in a way that Adelheid hoped he would experience again.

Then the moment passed, and Phoenix smiled, and despite himself Adelheid felt his spirits lifting. Somehow, despite all of the weakness Phoenix had, he was strong enough to lift the guilt that had been crushing a normally-strong spirit. Adelheid's laughter, though quiet, rippled from the depths of his soul, and his eyes gleamed more brightly as he let his wounds be tended to. "I don't think it would matter if you did or not. But... Nick, you should probably take a deep breath and try to relax a little. I know that it's quite the mess, but the worst of it is over."

He was honestly concerned about his friend's well-being; the older man was breathing more heavily and Adel's keen eyes could discern the changes happening, even if he had no idea what the cause of that turmoil would be. He just wasn't in the mindset to get any of the implications.

[in_your_defense]

Phoenix then awkwardly laughed as he settled more comfortably down on the floor, moving a hand to scratch his head and accidentally smearing a bit of Adel's blood upon his temple. Prickling heat crept upon his skin, and he flushed. "I...ah...no, I'm okay. I mean, not that your wounds aren't important, but...um..." Phoenix stumbled over the words and shut his mouth before he said something worse, his heart pounding in his chest.

Focusing down on Adelheid's fingers, Phoenix concentrated on keeping the bandages straight, hoping that Adel wouldn't notice the pink on his cheeks before he had a chance to will it away. Think...football. Girls. Steel Samurai. He couldn't help but be reminded of Maya and her obsession with the show. Phoenix wondered how her spirit medium training was doing, since it had been so long since he had last seen her...and then his thoughts lingered and went to Ema, and then Lana -- and Phoenix found it slightly pathetic that he had to think of girls in order to get his mind off of the tightness in his chest. It wasn't as if he wasn't into women -- he liked breasts as much as any straight man -- but somehow, he had to think of something else.

Anything to get his mind off of the disapproving frown Phoenix kept on imagining on Edgeworth's face if he ever found out what Phoenix was thinking at that exact moment. He was betraying Edgeworth just by thinking about it...and Phoenix wondered if his lack of sleep was entirely to blame for this awkward situation.

[grosse_sklaven]

"It's quite all right. You'll want to wash off all of that blood, thoroughly, however. Please be sure to do so." A bit of a sigh as Adelheid leaned back against the wall, his eyes threatening to drift shut. After all of that pain and exertion, maybe a break wouldn't be a bad thing. Just a little sleep, before the intercom announced the end of the shift...

...and he really hoped Nick followed his advice. He didn't like thinking that the man would be stained with blood.

After a moment's pause he softly asked, "May I have my journal back? I may not be able to write for a little while, but as soon as I can, I'll be wanting to record everything that I've encountered."

Whether he noticed Phoenix's blush for what it was, or whether he didn't, was really hard to say. Regardless, he wasn't privy to the older man's thoughts, which was perhaps for the best. "But you're not entirely right. These wounds aren't important. They'll fade in time. So long as I recover, whether I suffer wounds or not doesn't matter."

He looked at the bandages on his bare chest, already red with his blood, and he weakly laughed. "I simply need to make sure that they don't become a problem in the future."