Day 38: Doctor's Office 6 [Dr. Wilson] [Fourth Shift]

[damned_doctors]

Well, Wilson's session with Caleb had gone surprisingly well. It was a good start to the week, but the doctor knew better than to think that it would continue. After a few weeks here, he had come to realize that there was going to be at least one patient that gave him a hard time. It was usually during the first session with a patient that it

Comments

[notmyfather]

"No, not without emotion. I feel things - quite acutely, I assure you - I simply can't express them. Dr. Huang and I didn't come to any resolutions regarding my family, so I suppose that may as well be where we pick up." At least this new doctor hadn't made any mention of the scarring welt across his throat, or the fact that he was supposed to be suffering from madness.

"I suppose my father's a much larger influence in my life than my sister," he said, settling back some and adopting a more relaxed manner. Still, he held himself as though they were chatting about the weather. "My sister and I didn't grow up together - she was the product of an affair of my father's. Though I suppose I can't call it an 'affair', he had divorced my mother years before." But that was what this place referred to it as, at least as far as he could tell from his visit with his father.

"I saw him, over the weekend. My father, I mean. He came to visit me. Apparently he's very upset with me that I'm in need of your institute's services. I think he takes it personally - if there's something wrong with me, it will reflect poorly on him. That's my father for you, though. He only sees things as how they relate to himself. I may be emotionally stunted, or however you'd like to describe my particular affliction, but my father is without empathy or morality. I don't know if any of this is in your notes, so please stop me if I'm simply rehashing things you're already aware of."

At least he seemed easy enough to talk to. And he knew others would consider him crazy, but it helped to talk to some stranger like this.

[damned_doctors]

If there was one thing that Wilson was good at, it was listening to someone speak and remaining completely calm and attentive, no matter how long they went on for. But this was something that happened to be interesting, especially since he was starting to see some similarities between Aubrey's father and House's. Although House's father wasn't quite this bad, the man had still done quite a number on his friend.

"It isn't in my notes," he clarified, though he wished it was. Aubrey couldn't be enjoying going through all of this again, but hopefully they could rehash it quickly and then move on to something new. He imagined the visit wasn't something he got to discuss with Dr. Huang, and so he focused on that.

"So, if your father is disappointed that you ended up here, then why did he bother to visit you? Was it just to lecture you?" That seemed like a lot of effort to go to for a son that he was scorning, but parents could function in strange ways sometimes. Wilson could only be glad that his own parents had done well by him, even though some of his siblings hadn't turned out as well.

[notmyfather]

"And to ensure I'm progressing in my treatment," Valyn explained, remembering his father's reasoning for being there. "He wanted to make sure I wasn't getting up to trouble. And to berate me over the stress I'm causing him simply for being in need of psychiatric treatment." If there was one good thing his father's visit had done, it was to allow him to pick up on the proper terms and manner of speaking for this strange world. He'd given up trying to convince anyone on the staff that he wasn't crazy, and being able to use proper terms for things went a long way in making him at least sound perfectly sane.

Or at the very least not delusional. He hoped.

"I know my father well enough to know why my problems upset him. First, as I mentioned, it's an embarrassment that reflects poorly on him. It's most likely in my file there somewhere, but he's a politician of some note. It's a rather cutthroat society, and having an insane son is nothing he wants to be common knowledge. Apparently everyone back home is under the impression I'm studying abroad for a graduate degree." Whatever that meant.

"Secondly, my father abhors any sign of weakness. It's why he was very adamant I not show any emotion - it's a weakness, you see. He couldn't abide my mother because she was 'weak'. She was mentally ill as well, though not the sort that can be treated. It's why he divorced her a few days after my brother and I were born. I've never even met her, to be perfectly honest with you." And he didn't think he wanted to. If his grandfather was a kind man, the entire ordeal had been wiped from her mind.

"But besides all of that...my brother is more interested in drinking and gambling and chasing women than anything else. Father has been grooming me since I was very young to follow in his footsteps. I'm...an investment. He likes to keep a close eye on his investments. And according to him, he's paying a great deal of money for my stay here, and wants to be sure he's getting his money's worth."

[damned_doctors]

Wilson could certainly understand if a parent was stressed by their child being ill (he was faced with worried patients often enough, even as an oncologist). However, Aubrey's father didn't seem to be stressed for the right reasons at all. It was all about status, about his name, and the fact that a mentally ill son would make him look bad. Wilson had come across that sort of thing too, of course.

The fact that his father was a politician made it that much worse. He imagined the man was paying all sorts of money to keep this under wraps, and apparently he even had a cover story ready.

Hearing that Aubrey's lack of expressing emotion was something that had been bred in him by his father was taking it to a whole new extreme, though. Wilson could never fail to be shocked by how much some parents screwed up their kids, and House would probably call him naive for that. But even though he'd heard story after story, the blow never really softened.

"I... see," he responded once Aubrey had finished, eyebrows furrowed as he thought it through. "So why were you the one he chose as his... investment? Are you the older one?" That seemed archaic, and it also didn't seem fair, but maybe the man had figured he could only focus on one child, and so he let the other one run wild. "And what do you think: has your treatment progressed at all since you've been here?" It was something to consider, especially if Aubrey's father was so dead-set on his recovery. Though that might just make the patient less motivated to get better, if only to spite his father.

[notmyfather]

"I don't know," Valyn admitted. "Pure chance, most likely. My brother and I are twins; I guess I was just lucky." His father had chosen him, and his brother was carted off to their mother's people. He doubted anything had gone into his father's selection. If there even had been one, and nothing more than 'take one, I'll keep the other'. But he certainly couldn't get into that.

"And really, my brother is...well, I suppose a lost cause. We aren't terribly close, but it's been some time since I saw him sober." Grandfather let him run rampant. Valyn didn't understand it at all, but he supposed it was none of his business.

"As for my treatment...well, you're the doctor. I do believe I've made progress, but I'm something of a biased opinion. I know who I am. I'm Aubrey Hill. I understand the difference between what's real and what my mind tries to tell me is real. I can't claim I remember everything that happened before I came here, but believe I remember enough." From everything he'd seen of how their supposed 'real lives' went, he imagined it was something along the lines of attacking his father or some such.

"Honestly, I'm more interested at this point in undoing the damage my father has done. I...am not happy with myself. I am frustrated and I am angry at my inability to express myself the way I'd prefer." And it was rather impressive that he'd managed to admit even that. But Dr. Huang had been very agreeable on focusing on that particular problem, rather than his supposed delusions.

"And of course my other...familial problems, so to speak."

[damned_doctors]

A lost cause. That was something Wilson had heard before, even said before. He didn't think back on his brother often, and it certainly wasn't something he was going to mention now, but he couldn't help but notice the similarities. Over ten years, now. There was a good chance he would never see the man again.

Pushing his own thoughts to the side, the doctor continued to listen. It did sound like Aubrey was making a lot of progress when it came to his rehabilitation, though Wilson did have to admit that he was wondering if it was just lip service. A lot of patients took that route, though it was difficult to tell when they were being serious or not.

"Undoing that damage is a great starting point," Wilson agreed. Even if Aubrey did feel sane, there was obviously a lot of abuse that he needed to work through before he would feel comfortable returning to society and dealing with his father.

But it seemed like Aubrey wanted to talk about his sister now, and so Wilson turned to that. "Right, you mentioned that you were separated and didn't know each other, so when did you and your sister first meet?"

[notmyfather]

"Half a year ago, or so, when I ran away," Valyn said, knowing from his talks with Huang that that rang true in 'both' his lives. "We ran into one another. I remembered my father's mistress, from when I was younger. And I remembered that when she became pregnant...well, my father wasn't happy, we'll leave it at that." How Serina Daeth had managed to escape, Valyn still didn't know.

"I could see the family resemblance, and the age and location and other small facts were too accurate to be coincidence. She had no idea, and...I didn't tell her. She began pursuing me. I would gladly give in to her attention, were she not my sister. And even that argument sometimes seems to wear thin. There was one night when we were simply on my bed together, talking, and she turned to me..." he trailed off, looking away, years of cultural stigma and shame creeping up on him. Even in a 'safe' environment he found it difficult to admit.

"I was very tempted," he finally finished with.

[damned_doctors]

Despite the touchy subject (most people couldn't get past the idea of incest, regardless of the circumstances), Wilson was careful to keep his expression plain as he listened to what Aubrey had to say. So his sister hadn't known, but he had... And she had developed feelings for him. That was definitely a tricky situation, especially since Aubrey felt the urge to return those feelings.

"Your situation is unique, though," he pointed out. "You two only met when you'd already grown older. I think a lot of the stigma of it has to do with the fact that a person would want to... be with this person that they grew up with," he explained. "And there are all other sorts of biological and cultural reasons too, of course.

"But I think that the question of whether consensual adult incest is right or wrong is something that people have struggled with for a while," he pointed out. "Though I'm not sure if your sister is officially an adult..." In which case that brought up a whole other slew of problems.

[notmyfather]

"Yes, she's an adult!" Valyn said, looking more affronted by the suggestion that she wasn't than anything else so far. "She's only a few years younger than I am." What kind of man did this doctor take him for? Shana was what, seventeen? She had been an adult by Elven standards for some time.

"I'm well aware it's wrong to be attracted to a sibling," he went on to point out. "Regardless of whether or not you grew up as siblings. The genetic issues alone are enough to make it...skin crawlingly off limits." He knew all of this. He struggled with all of this nearly every day. Though he didn't understand what the doctor was going on about at first. What did it matter if you slept with someone you grew up with? But the genetic and legal aspects...well, Valyn was well familiar with them.

"You must trust me, Doctor, these are things I spend a great deal of time thinking about. Nearly ever since I met her."

[damned_doctors]

Wilson certainly hadn't meant to offend Aubrey, but it was a valid question, and he was just relieved to hear that his sister was old enough to be making such an important decision. Even at adult age, though, this obviously wasn't something that it was easy to figure out, especially if a person's emotions were fighting against what logic told them.

"I'm sure," he agreed sincerely, not wanting to make light of this in the slightest. "But it's sounding like you still haven't sorted it out. What does she think about it? And what do you think?" He might as well get the whole story before he started commenting on it either way.

The genetic issues were certainly a problem, though some people argued that it wasn't as pertinent now that there were so many forms of birth control. But even with that, it still wasn't something people could swallow.

[notmyfather]

"She doesn't care," Valyn admitted, honestly. "She says we weren't raised as siblings, we don't see one another as siblings..." He shrugged. Shana couldn't seem to grasp why he had such reservations. And she pushed him.

Honestly, he supposed all he really wanted was someone saying 'it's alright'.

"She has a far more lax view of the situation when I do. I'm sure you can see the difficulties there."

[damned_doctors]

"So she can't understand why you have so many reservations about it," Wilson responded, letting out a small sigh. The whole situation was problematic by nature, but Aubrey didn't seem to have any luck at all when it came to his so-called love life.

"So what is it you're looking for?" he asked, realizing that he needed to pin the patient down now that they had gone through most of the explanations. "Do you want to come to a point where you look at it the way she does, or do you want to try and smother those feelings?"

Either way, it was going to be hard, but Wilson was guessing that it was the former. If Aubrey's sister really cared about him enough to not let incest stop her, then he couldn't imagine it would be easy for the young man to flat-out tell her that he didn't feel the same anymore (and to actually believe it when he said it).

[notmyfather]

"I don't know." Valyn shrugged. "I'd be lying if I claimed I wasn't attracted to her. But how can a man reconcile feelings of desire for a sibling when society tells us it's one of the greatest taboos? I know the most healthy course would be to try and eradicate the feelings altogether. But I can't honestly say that's what I want."

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"In the interest of full disclosure, I suppose I should mention I'm involved with my cousin, as well."

[damned_doctors]

It was more or less what Wilson had guessed at, though he didn't think he could give Aubrey the go-ahead on something like this. In the end, the patient was going to come to his own decision, since people followed their feelings no matter what other people told them, if those feelings were strong enough.

But maybe they weren't, and maybe they would fade after the guilt ate ate him for long enough. All Wilson knew was that he was glad that he wasn't in the man's shoes. He'd slept with one of his patients once, but he liked to think that was above incest...

The mention of a cousin really got him raising his eyebrows, though. "Involved with...?"