Day 38: Lunch

[beloved_less]

Soubi was beginning to feel the effects of a busy morning on a tired body. To make things worse, they were serving Tacos and Burritos. He could really do some with something a bit softer today. Blander. But it was hardly his biggest concern right now

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[mizuhomaiden]

"No, it's not the same, but I'm going off of my own experience, here, Soubi," Sheena pointed out.

"I don't care what your name or supposed place is in the world, you aren't replaceable. No one is replaceable," she added on with a scowl. "Remember what I said about you not liking yourself? I still mean it. You don't and now I sorta understand why. Did it ever occur to you that maybe Ritsuka doesn't order you around because he wants a partner and not just a servant? Partners talk about things and agree to do stuff for each other because they want to, not because the other one tells them to. It creates a stronger bond when both halves are willing."

The ninja sighed again. "I think you should serve Ritsuka because you want to, not because of a name that is or isn't carved into your body. What makes you think that by having someone without the special training that doctor had removing the words in your skin or marring them will have any effect like you say? It sounds to me like there's some kind of magic involved in what they did to you. If that's the case, then someone without that magic isn't going to effect the name. It'd be just like if you let them heal and the scars faded."

She wrapped her arms around herself, her voice going very soft as it was clear she didn't really want to say what she was about to. "You know... we are who we are and nothing changes that. No matter how much I say I'm Mizuho cause that's where I was raised from a baby, it doesn't change the fact that I'm not of Mizuho blood. It doesn't change the fact that my parents, whomever they are, threw me away as a baby because they didn't want me."

She glanced back up. "I'm Mizuho, but I'm not. That didn't stop me from learning to be Mizuho. You're Ritsuka's, but your not. Maybe you should learn to be his, adapting to what he needs, not just what you think he does."

[beloved_less]

Soubi gave her a look to say he very much doubted that he was irreplaceable. His sole purpose was to replace and be replaced.

"I don't have to be liked," he said, stubbornly. Though he desperately wanted to. By one person and one person alone. His master. Ritsuka. "I was never sent to him to be his partner. I'm his Fighter," he added, unsure. It would be nice to work together. And, really, they had been at times. Though only when Ritsuka didn't know what was going on. How was Soubi supposed to train someone to be his master?

"I do want to. And I want something to remind me of him always. When I see myself and when others see me. I want the world to know I belong to him. There's no magic in it. My body just remembers and everyone will see what I am. And I want Ritsuka to know it. To be certain I don't care about anyone or anything but him."

Sheena almost made Soubi wonder if Ritsu was right after all. That it was a gift to be able to be reborn. But Soubi and Sheena both desired something permanent. Something undoubtedly theirs.

"So then you understand. Try as we might, we could easily lose our right to belong somewhere. I am trying... I like the freedom Ritsuka gives me, but it gives me too much room to make mistakes. And I do, constantly. What if he grows tired of me? How can I be a person he likes when I've only ever been a Fighter and nothing more?"

Kio had been helping Soubi grow, and Soubi was grateful for that. But Kio thought Soubi was just a little strange in wanting a young boy to be his Master. He had yet to learn the truth and, after last night, Soubi wasn't sure he wanted the man to know.

"You're the only Mizuho I know, so you'll always be that," he smiled. "Do they...pressure you a lot? To be like them. To fit your role." Of course, Sheena was unlike her people, wasn't she.

[mizuhomaiden]

"I... won't lose my place in Mizuho as long as my grandfather is still chief, even if he is in a coma," Sheena said quietly. "My grandfather is the most respected person in Mizuho, so when he told everyone that he was taking me as his granddaughter, as his heir since his own children had already passed on, I was raised to be that. I was good at what I did, having so much promise, even more so being the first summoner in four thousand years to appear."

She sighed. "I was supposed to restore the glory and honor of the Mizuho people, so we'd no longer be looked down upon by the rest of Tethe'alla because of our unique and different culture. And then... then I..." She paused and looked away, taking a moment to make the waver leave her voice. "I wasn't good enough back then. I failed to make my first pact and got a third of the village killed in Volt's rampage. I only lived through it because my grandfather shielded me; that's why he's in a coma and has been for many years. I don't think I'll ever get a chance to tell him I'm sorry for being such a failure."

She sighed. "After that... I was treated differently. I was the village's greatest failure and so many held anger and contempt for me. I was sent away from the village for a good couple years, used as pledge of loyalty to the Tethe'allan crown... suffered a lot of scorn." She chuckled a little. "I told you I sucked."

"Things are different now that I'm older and I've made some friends after deciding I wasn't going to be used anymore. It took a lot for them to get past the face I generally show to the world, but there's just something about Lloyd and all his ideals that make the world seem so much brighter than you ever thought it could be." She smiled a little. "I even managed to finally form my pacts, though I lost my best and only friend for a long time in the process. Corrine sacrificed his life to protect me when I started to fail forming my pact with Volt again."

Sheena finally pushed her own past aside and looked Soubi square in the eyes. "You know, Soubi, Ritsuka knows that you only care about him and nothing else. He does. I know this." She blew the hair on her forehead up. "But I think... I think he wants you to care about more than him and I agree with him. Just because you care for something or someone other than Ritsuka too, doesn't mean you care any less for him. That's just silly talk if you say it. People are strong because of the support they have around them, not just because they focus solely on one thing. Life's not supposed to be like that."

She had something dawn on her just then.
"And you know what? If you're the only Fighter born like you are, without a pre-determined Sacrifice and all that... maybe you're not supposed to follow the norm. Maybe you're supposed to change the way the Fighter pair system works. It's scary to think about it, but maybe that is what you're here for."

She frowned a little. "Well, not here-here, but you get my point."

[beloved_less]

It sounded like Sheena had a lucky break with who she got left with, really. A respectable man. And someone who loved her enough to be put into a coma defending her.

"I don't think he see's you as a failure. Otherwise he was an idiot for protecting you like he did. And, generally, idiots don't become Chiefs." Well, ok, in Soubi's world there were some awful politicians, but he was trying to be a comfort. He smiled to her. "You must be pretty worthwhile or two people to sacrifice themselves for you, Sheena."

Soubi perked up a little when Sheena started to talk about Ritsuka. "Has he said that? Does he talk about me that way?"

"It's kind of you to say and think these things but... both you and Ritsuka need to understand, I was never raised to think for myself or want anything other than a Master. Ritsuka... is all I need to breathe. If he finds his true Fighter and no longer needs me... I wish to die like I ought to."

He'd wanted to die when Seimei had. Or supposedly had. The other Pairs hated him for not dying and cursed him, but Soubi didn't disagree with them. Until, perhaps he'd met Ritsuka. But he'd been given orders and so Seimei was still his Master after death and Soubi still had to serve. Another reason he felt so lost without the Beloved name. If Ritsuka's control wavered or they continued to doubt one another, who did Soubi really belong to without the name to bind him to anything? Ritsu had only been his teacher in the end. Seimei was... alive, but he seemed to no longer need Soubi and Soubi no longer had the name. How much did the name even stand for? Seimei would still control Soubi if they met face to face. Soubi knew it.

So then, what if Seimei AND Ritsuka were there. Soubi wanted to believe he'd serve Ritsuka, to the point that he would promise it to himself and the boy. But he was afraid of seeing Seimei because a part of him knew that it just wasn't going to be easy going against him.

[mizuhomaiden]

"I know you weren't raised to think like that," Sheena said quietly. "Just like I know how many people in both my worlds were raised to believe that half-elves are evil scum, lower beings, that should be prosecuted and denied the basic rights of life."

Even Zelos was raised that way. Thankfully, that Idiot Chosen had his weakness for women and even half-elf women were somewhat appealing. He'd learned, through meeting and getting to know Genis and Raine, before their heritage was revealed, that not all half-elves were bad.

"But I've seen some pretty opinionated grown men change and start to accept the things they were raised to look down upon. I've seen devout followers of a religion discover it was a sham and change their ways." Sheena was silent for a moment. "I'm not saying change your ways, but adapt. Humans are good at that, you know."

She put her hand on Soubi's arm then. "Neither Ritsuka or I want you to die. Keep that in mind, okay? He'll deny it, cause boys do that, but if you died, Ritsuka would cry."

[beloved_less]

"Why do they think that?" he asked, curiously. It still couldn't be compared to Soubi. Elves were a race, right? Fighter's weren't. They were just...Fighters. Anyway, maybe Elves were an annoying bunch, you know? The sort of people who got a bad rep due to the majority.

"Hm. But I was perfect before I changed," he pointed out. Sure people didn't like him, but they respected his power. Seimei had asked for him. He'd been wanted.

Soubi was still stubborn, adamant that he wanted only Ritsuka and he wanted this name gone, but his mood had improved considerably.

"Would you cry?" he asked, humour creeping into his question.

[mizuhomaiden]

Sheena jerked her gaze away, snatching her hand back from Soubi's arm and crossed her own over her chest. Of course she'd cry, but like hell she was going to say so. She scowled, a bit of a flush on her cheeks. "Hey! What kind of question is that to ask a girl?!"

She glared at him from the corner of her eye before deciding to ignore any further implications of the question completely. "There's no such thing as perfect, Soubi. People just think there is."

She decided to explain a little of the whole half-elf thing. "I'm not really sure where it all started, but elves are a very pure race, the only ones with natural magic - something humans don't have. But Humans have strength and drive and stuff elves don't have. So neither race really cared for each other much. Half-elves... they ended up with like the best of both, having magic, keen senses and longer lives with the added strength and drive of the humans. Well, elves being the pure race they are, hated the humans for raping their women and stuff - whether that's true or not, I dunno - and so they exiled the half-elves."

She paused as she thought over what she'd learned. "This was all a really, really, really long time ago in Sylvarant. Eventually, the half-elves got tired of being seen as outcasts, unwanted and stuff so they decided since they were stronger and all that, they were better than both the humans and the elves. So, they decided they existed to be the rulers as the others were inferior beings. So, they used their gifts and subjugated most of the human people, cruelly ruling over the humans, creating evil human ranches like this to make exspheres to give them more power and stuff. These half-elves are called the Desians."

"Now back in Tethe'alla, it's a bit different. There's a lot less half-elves, so they are outnumbered by humans and we have a lot better technology - Sylvarant still uses steam whereas Tethe'alla is far more advanced. So, the caste system of Tethe'alla places the half-elves as the lowest and, because their existence is seen as a disgrace, they are used for their abilities and pretty much kept under lock and key, to prevent them from growing in number and following in the footsteps of the Desians."

Sheena sighed. "Both sides are barbaric and the Mizuho are barely seen as anything better than the half-elves. We're still human, though, so we're above them in the caste system." She rolled her eyes. "We don't follow it cause we think it's a load of crap, but you know how things that have been going on for thousands of years are hard to change."

[beloved_less]

"I'm going to take that as a yes," he teased. "You wouldn't have reacted so badly otherwise. I'm honoured."

He looked a little offended when she told him that 'perfect' did not exist. "I was. I really was. And....I think Ritsuka is perfect, even if we don't understand each other."

He listened to the story of the Elves and half elves and humans. It really did sound barbaric. But it was further proof that people, no matter what race, are all quite terrible. Whichever side had the most power was cruel to the other.

"I'm sure you're loud enough to start a pretty good revolution," he smiled. Soubi personally liked to lead a small life. He didn't want to change the world.

[mizuhomaiden]

So much for ignoring that subject any further. Sheena punched Soubi in the arm, not enough to do any damage, just to give a little sting that went away quickly. "Not. Funny. Drop it," she growled, her face a little redder, though if it was from embarrassment or anger was anyone's guess.

She didn't comment on the perfect thing mostly because she didn't want to get into an argument over it. Shaking her head, she sad, "No, I'm not the revolutionary type, though I did manage to get my village involved, kinda against their will at first, cause I kinda... abandoned my mission. Lloyd's the one loud enough to do so, and he is. though it's not really a revolution as much as we figured out what was really going on and are trying to change it. Thankfully there's a group of half-elves that are on our side, working against the Desians; they're called the Renegades."

She bit her bottom lip. "When I was brought here... things weren't so good. I caused something really bad to happen, not knowing it would end up like it did. I thought it was going to help, I really did, but I..." She looked away. "I caused a lot of people to suffer. I'm afraid I may have broken my pacts, which is why I can't summon here. Raine tells me she's from a time in my future and that I didn't break my pacts, that it's just how things are here. I can't help but worry that maybe... maybe she's wrong and I did break my pacts, that I'm not going to be able to use the Mana Cannon to stop what I started."

She sighed. "Never mind. It's all complicated and doesn't make a lot of sense and... I shouldn't bother you with it."

[beloved_less]

"Sheena! You really care? I'm sorry, it's just....nice. I'm not used to it. But if you think you can seduce me with sweetness, the competition is far too high."

Soubi reached out suddenly and pulled Sheena closer, arm around her back and hand in her hair. "I think you should believe Raine. She appears to be the type to tell the truth, even if it hurts." He looked at Sheena and smiled. "You'll fix things."

Sheena was vulnerable, but she never seemed to stop trying. Soubi admired that and, really, he wished he was a little more like her. The only world being destroyed was his own personal world and he was falling apart. Sheena was dealing with multiple worlds and the fate of many but she was strong.

He let go of her, not being used to a great deal of physical contact or knowing what was appropriate. His only guide was Kio. So... the appropriate part was impossible for him to work out on a normal person's level.

[mizuhomaiden]

"You! But... I'm not... I don't like-- GRAR!"

Stupid Soubi and his stupid teasing and the stupid notion that she was trying to seduce him. He was almost as bad as Zelos at times; it was infuriating. She glared at Soubi like she was going to choke him and then suddenly he hugged her.

Well, sorta.

Surprised, Sheena blinked and was suddenly calm again. For a moment, she rest her head against his shoulder and actually listened to what Soubi had to say.

"Yeah... usually," she replied quietly. "I'll figure it out. I've got a plan and my summons are willing."

Then, just as suddenly as the comfort, the contact was there, it was gone. She felt oddly disappointed with the man's withdrawl; it wasn't often someone who wasn't Colette did that. She missed Colette, but was glad the angel wasn't here. Not with Kratos here. Not with the world's hanging by a thread.

"Thanks," she said, rubbing the back of her head awkwardly.

[beloved_less]

"That's ok," he shrugged. "I really believe it. You won't quit until things are right, will you? And I don't think your life or spirit will be crushed easily. Or at all." Especially with so many people looking out for her.

Soubi was disappointed in the lack on contact, a little. But, if he was honest, he wished it was somebody else. He wanted to see Ritsuka. He wasn't so afraid anymore because... he was going to try and take everybody's advice. Maybe. If he could.

"How many friends do you have, Sheena?"

[mizuhomaiden]

"How many?" Sheena blinked, having not expected that question. "Um... let's see."

She tilted her head as she thought. "Well, there's Lloyd, Raine, Genis, Zelos, Colette, Presea and Regal. There's also Orochi back home and... well, Kuchinawa and I aren't friends anymore. I used to have Corrine, but he's gone..."

Hmm... "Then there's the scientists in the Elemental Research Lab in Meltokio, plus the kids in Luin that I played tag with. So I guess, I have a lot of friends. Some are a lot closer than others, though." She blinked again. "And I've got all the new friends I've made here. Why did you ask?"

[beloved_less]

Soubi tried not to look surprised, but...were that many friends normal? Kids had schoolmates, but...did they consider a whole class their friends? Ritsuka only really had Yuiko and that boy. And he'd become close to the zeroes. And hopefully he'd like Kio too. And then, here, he had a few more friends.

Maybe it WAS normal. Kio tried to encourage Soubi to be more approachable and Ritsuka had told him to make friends here. But....

"Kio is my only friend where I'm from. He always said it wasn't normal. But, I consider you a friend now. My roommate is pleasant too. Oh. And Honey-chan. I like Honey-chan, though, really, I'm not sure yet how much I can about him or Demyx. How do you keep track of them all?"

[mizuhomaiden]

"Well, thanks for making it official," Sheena said, sticking her tongue out a little. "Yeah, we're friends. And Kio's right, most people at least have a small group of very close friends."

She shrugged. "I don't really keep track of how many friends I have. I had to seriously think about it when you asked me. I just... you know, have friends. My really close friends aren't that many, but not all your friends need to be close. People you have fun with and like to be around are friends. It's really not that complicated."

[beloved_less]

"I thought it already was official," he glared.

"I never needed friends," he said, thoughtfully. "I never really had time or space and nobody really liked me anyway. Kio is just selfish and stubborn so we got used to each other. I think you'd get on well." He looked at Sheena. "It seems complicated. How do you make time for everyone and... your special someone, I suppose."