Day 38: Breakfast

[deadlyjuliet]

What a singularly delightful evening he'd had. It was dampened, of course, by two things, but those were small things and he supposed he could overlook them for now. First was that his powers had still not returned. If he truly were on punishment as he thought, though, he couldn't very well expect those to come back. Second was that the little

Comments

[remedying]

[this space reserved.]

It was like most mornings: the intercom clicked to life, and the day began. Tiredly and reluctantly, the girl began to stir awake as the routine went, feeling oddly... sore. Her arm ached, as did her shoulders, and for some long moments Yukari couldn't recall why they would-- what happened last night?

Last night... last night... With half opened eyes, she stared forward at nothing in particular, curled up under the covers and sunk into the pillow as if it were a Sunday morning and she had nothing planned for the day; her mind felt hazy while she desperately tried to recall what happened.

Her hand moved, and there it was-- a small sheet of paper that normally wasn't by a pillow most days. Curiously, absentmindedly, Yukari flipped it over between two fingers, sleepy eyes falling upon the words. It was a... note from Renamon? She was pretty sure that she hadn't seen her since...

In an impressively small amount of time, Yukari suddenly felt herself jolt awake, throwing herself upright with the tiny piece of paper in between her hands. One could think with the way she was staring down at it, something terrible had been written on it. But no, if anything the words were of the comforting sort; it was instantly realizing why the note was written.

The hall upstairs, Falis, Renamon... She had her bow, her Evoker, her Persona, all regained back like she had always wanted. However, it was for all the wrong reasons, and she had also been pitted against them, turning against... everything. Yukari knew she wasn't the only one this had happened to, yet in the end it was hardly any comfort at all knowing it happened to her.

Eventually, she was able to unfreeze, crumpling the paper in her hands. That was about all she could do, aside from looking truly miserable, even when soon after a nurse barged in the room like they always did with their absolutely horrible timing. Yukari didn't want to go-- she didn't want to face the day knowing what happened and what she did, nor did she want to face everyone who witnessed. ... And Renamon said she was going to go find her anyway, even with the big hole Yukari managed to dig herself into, and apparently the nurse was going to see to it that Yukari had to go through with the day as planned.

There was very little on her tray this morning. There was no way Yukari could bring herself to even begin to think about eating. Instead, she more or less continued to stare blankly at it, occasionally prodding her fork at it to pretend she was. The staff wouldn't leave her alone if she didn't do that much.

Great... After what happened, Yukari knew this wasn't going to be an easy conversation. Far from it.

[yin_yang_fox]

As for Renamon, she would have prefered to actually know what happened to her combative companions. Her night had been extremely eventful. Two rescues, two large scale fights, and more errands that she had thought. She had accomplished what she had set out to do at least, even if there were other things learned within.

When she awoke this time, she found her arm tightly bandaged from where she had taken Yukari's wound, and wraps around her chest as well. Renamon grimaced. It looked like her first instinct was correct--she had a few rib fractures. That would slow down her speed tonight.

She didn't stop at the Bulletin Board for once, heading straight to the cafeteria to search out the girl that she had went up against last night. Her nurse mentioned something about food, but backed off at the glare Renamon sent her way. Bypassing the line, Renamon found what she sought, and sat down across from her.

"Hello."

[remedying]

The familiar voice finally came, and Yukari grimaced some, only doing as much as barely lifting her eyes at the figure that sat across from her. She wasn't looking forward to this, but at the same time it would be nice to get it done and over with. She just didn't know if the results would be what she wanted or not.

"Renamon-san," Yukari began, her voice hesitant and quiet, and then she paused again when she didn't know what to say next. It wasn't like any of this was her fault, right? The reluctance would probably be puzzling to anyone else, but Yukari knew it was much more than that. Things had been revealed that the girl never intended to mention. "I-- um..." Trailing off, she gave up on putting her thoughts into words. Instead, she finished off lamely; "... Mornin'."

[yin_yang_fox]

Renamon took a moment for silence, tilting her head to study the girl. It probably went against human decorum and would make her uncomfortable but Renamon wanted to know... to understand how Yukari fared before speaking further. Like the night they went to get their possessions boxes, Renamon would not move from this place until she was sure the girl was alright.

Though, in the end, she simply blinked, tilted her head back, and asked, "How are you feeling?"

Renamon wanted (or was it needed?) to know if the girl would continue hiding things from her after this.

[remedying]

Straight to the point, huh? Of course, it wouldn't do any good to beat around the bush at this point. The former wasn't feeling any better, though, but as long as she rolled with the punches and tried not to make anything feel worse than it did already...

"I'm all right." And by that she meant the complete opposite, but hey, she was up and about and that was a start (despite it being unwillingly), right? Right. So nobody could complain about her response.

[yin_yang_fox]

But Renamon would complain. In a way that most here at the Institute hadn't seen yet.

For all of her stoicism, Renamon was mostly laid-back. She would allow people to make their own decisions and choices, and support and protect them in the ways that she could. Everyone chose their own life, and she wasn't about to step in.

All of that was true, but when it came to people that she cared about, Renamon was extremely stubborn. And in the short amount of time that the Digimon had known her, Yukari had become one of those.

Renamon raised a hand to her face, covering her mouth loosely as she closed her eyes and exhaled. There was a pause, an extended silence, then Renamon spoke, her eyes still closed. "We'll start over. And when we do, you won't lie to me or hold anything back. I believe you owe me that." She slowly opened her bright eyes. "So how are you feeling?"

[remedying]

Yukari lifted her head at last, but only to give Renamon a deepened scowl. Such a response did come as a surprise, if she were honest; usually the answer was enough to let anyone continue on, but it seemed like this time she wasn't about to let something so trivial go.

"Fine, you want to know?" Yukari snapped; a part of her had about felt hurt over the implications Renamon made. Maybe she had no right to sound angry or let out her frustrations like this, but this was as though she were being treated like a kid! "I'm not fine, and I'd rather be somewhere that isn't here talking about this. What am I all of a sudden, five?"

[yin_yang_fox]

Renamon had dealt with girls much more difficult than Yukari, and so Renamon smirked at the girl, unfazed.

"And yet you are here. As am I. And if you're not 'five', you'll talk to me, and let me understand you. And I can tell you about what happened last night." She lowered her hand, but kept it half-extended, as if in supplication.

The smirk softened then. "I told your teammates you were strong. I'd rather not be proved wrong."

[remedying]

Perhaps she would be, as Yukari certainly wasn't feeling it right now. Yeah, she'd like to say she was and always tried to put up that front, but really... A lot of times, she was doubting herself. The moment then was a prime example of this, and Yukari wrapped her arms around herself, as if refraining from letting it show. Whether she was or not, she'd prefer not to let it become obvious.

It was kind of funny, Yukari would have to say, that Renamon insisted on 'understanding her' when she allowed the complete opposite from everybody else. There was no question that she had the tendency to push people away so they couldn't do that, and it was difficult to let an exception slip through. Whether it was simply out of habit, or Yukari genuinely was afraid of opening herself up... It was difficult to gauge, even for her.

Her frown softened, reverting back to her previous expression. "I know what happened," Yukari admitted outright, although it was easy to tell she wished she didn't.

[yin_yang_fox]

Renamon sighed, as Yukari continued being difficult. "So you know then.

"You know how I and another who has some tie to you attempted to stop you, and then how your teammates joined and attempted the same--with less pleasing results. And you know that when you passed out the other and I were on the verge of fighting them for harming you, and you know that you were taken to the chapel to be healed, before being carried down to your room. You know that no one was hurt." Her speech was a bit more rushed than usual, still with a calm under-current fighting the tow.

"You know that I told your friends that I protect you." This sentence seemed weighted, as if the words weren't exactly what Renamon was actually saying. "And you don't need that protection half of the time; I hold to what I told your classmates. You're strong. And competent. And can take care of yourself.

"But sometimes you can't." And here the girl would start to hate her, Renamon thought. And think that she was lecturing her. "Like last night, when nothing was in your control. And at those times, to protect you, I need to know...." Renamon's voice had dipped into emotional there, slid without her knowing. "You don't have to hide anything from me."

In that brief rush of emotion, Renamon registered one thing. The situation, the causes and effects. She was scared. Scared of losing someone else that she protected.

[remedying]

There were plenty of things Yukari could have said to about Renamon's brief side of the story, but in the end she didn't. Admittedly, towards the end of when she actually was conscious is when things began to go too fast; it was difficult to remember the details, but perhaps it was best that way. However it ended, who cared anymore? What was done was done, no matter how Yukari felt about it, and that should have been enough for everyone to drop it.

Yukari was biting back words by the end, ones she didn't know how to relay anyway. Why did Renamon care so much? Why did she insist on "protecting" her when it came to this or that? With as much in mind, the girl insisted further; "I'm not hiding anything from you, Renamon-san."

[yin_yang_fox]

Half of Renamon simply wanted to let this all go. Fighting enemies was one thing; verbal match-ups with ones you care about was something else.

The other half was her training, forcing her to gain knowledge so she would be better equiped next time.

"Okay," she answered tiredly. "The explain last night to me." Renamon didn't add any accusations about Yukari telling her that she had no powers when she obviously did, or anything else to refute the point. She did, however, add in something that tied to the fear that was now conscious. "So I can understand why you were shooting yourself in the head."

[remedying]

The way Renamon had worded that left apparent distaste on Yukari's face; it's basically what it was, but did she really have to outright say it that way? Not even anyone back home put it that bluntly-- well, after they got used to the idea, that is.

There were a few reasons why Yukari never wanted to get into explaining her ability to those who weren't familiar with it, and the Evokers was one of them. It had been months and a part of her still felt weirded out by the idea (honestly, somebody in the Kirijo group must have had a sick sense of humor), whether she could use them now without reluctance or not; who was to say that those without Personas would understand?

Yukari let out a breath-- she could tell Renamon felt vaguely worried about the latter bit of her statement. "It's not a real gun," she assured her, shaking her head. "It just... looks and used a lot like one." Yukari frowned slightly again, realizing she'd have to admit this outright; it never was easy. "The only way we can use our power is to use those."

[yin_yang_fox]

Yukari's face made Renamon back up mentally. She needed to approach this situation differently. She was being too opinionated.

"I understand that," she replied, trying to sound reassuring without being condescending. "They're something to channel your power, right? In another form, I had sutras for the same reason."

Renamon softened her expression. "I apologize for making you uncomfortable, if I have. I'd like to know more about your power and why you have it, but it's your choice. If you choose to tell me, I won't interupt. If you don't..." She shifted her shoulders in what could have been a shrug. If the girl refused to tell her, Renamon wouldn't push her. She was speaking to Mitsuru later after all, and that girl would surely see the need for sharing knowledge.

But truthfully, Renamon hoped Yukari would tell her.

[remedying]

Yukari was uncomfortable, sure, but it wasn't because an explanation was in order now. Besides, Adelheid found them out, and they eventually ended up owing Shiki an explanation, too; both times ended up okay, but this was different. Renamon didn't find out because Yukari ended up telling her in one way or another-- she did because she used it against her. Needless to say, it felt... awkward, was one way to put it, to face Renamon now.

"No, it's..." Yukari trailed off again, slumping over on the tabletop. "I'm sorry. My head's a mess. This happens all the time, and it's never their fault, but I still want to apologize for what I did." She shook her head, as if to clear her mind. "It's stupid of me to keep hiding it, huh? I just never thought there was any point in saying anything, especially when I couldn't even use it, but I guess that's changed now."

It made her wonder if her seniors still had the Evoker, but she supposed she'd be finding out later. "All right, I guess I owe you this."

[yin_yang_fox]

The surprise was plain on Renamon's face.

Yukari apologized? Of all the things for the girl to say, that was least expected. There was no need at all, and especially for Renamon, whose life consisted of fights and battles. A fight like that happened between allies, or enemies who might turn out to be allies in a later time. If the girl attacked her of her own free will, Renamon still would be surprised at an apology.

"It's... Don't apologize." She glanced off to the side, clearly uncomfortable. "That doesn't matter to me. Just... As long as you're okay."

She tried to shrug off the excess emotions, and refocus on Yukari. "I'll listen." And she would, with an open mind, and silent thanks for her opening up.