Day 37: Men's Showers

[pleading_ngri]

I wouldn't really call this a locker room. More like a bathroom with lockers. The place was uncomfortably crowded, with almost every adult male patient being hustled into the showers at once, but Phoenix wasn't as annoyed by the claustrophobic, milling throng of bodies as he might have otherwise been. Every extra person was one more person who

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[k4t4str0ph4l]

Well, Yue hadn't been much good for distracting Schuldig from Artemis. While he'd been diverting at first, Arty's moving through phases of delusion and physical illness were just making ignoring him more and more difficult - no bloody thanks to Haku. If he'd known that Haku was going to be so damnably incompetent at smacking some sense into the boy, Schuldig would have gone over immediately. As it was, he was stuck until lunch.

That meant he needed another distraction - a good one this time. Fortunately, a shower for of naked men with varying complexes was an excellent place to find one...especially for someone of his ego. All he needed was to find Yohji (or Farfarello, if pressed) or someone whose admiration he could lose himself in for a little while...

Or there was ZEX. He'd have preferred someone who'd admire him specifically as opposed to something that admired every human body in eyeshot, but he was desperate. Pretty blatantly so, to be deliberately seeking attention from one of the people he'd been pointedly not eyeballing as any sort of sexual possibility.

He'd spent the last few years as a telepath in Japan; he officially knew way more about tentacles now than he'd ever really wanted to. Just because ZEX didn't have any at the moment didn't reassure him nearly enough.

That didn't stop him from taking the shower next to ZEX, however, studying him out of the corner of his eye. Whatever the alien might look like in his mind's eye, his human form wasn't actually all that bad, even if he wore it like an ill-fitting suit. "You need some help with that?" he offered - not because he was actually feeling helpful, but as a way to get ZEX's attention as he spun the water of his own shower on - pretty close to as hot as he could get it. Another distraction.

[wantsyourzex]

It was a wonder that humans didn't just fall apart if their skin was so thin and delicate. It was part of their appeal, he supposed, in that one had to treat them carefully (to reflect their precious nature, one could say), but it did become somewhat irritating when it made things unnecessarily difficult. And a lot of things he hadn't anticipated had suddenly become difficult as a human. Particularly...

No, not worth his time at the moment. Human hands really weren't made for gripping like his arms... hmm? ZEX blinked at the sound of someone near him, wondering perhaps if his human Captain had found him so quickly, but found an unfamiliar human by him instead. Never one to say no to an opportunity, particularly one such as this, ZEX looked his new human friend over quite studiously and without any kind of self-awareness on how his behavior might appear, and his normal, unconsciously lecherous smile settled firmly on his face. This really was his favorite time of day.

"Mmm, if you'd be willing to assist me." In this kind of mood, nearly everything that came out of his mouth was an innuendo. This new human's hair was such an interesting color... "I'm not quite used to how human showers function, I'm afraid." Still staring hungrily at him. "Human skin can be so sensitive..."

If he had his natural tongue, he would have flicked it. Such a shame to be locked out of his normal body at a time like this!

[k4t4str0ph4l]

"You're not very good at hiding it, either," Schuldig remarked with a smirk, leaning over in deliberate fashion - and quite close - to adjust ZEX's water temperature to something a bit cooler than his own. Even if ZEX wasn't someone he was interested in, it did his ego good to be admired...and the alien was the easily enthralled type. He probably didn't even need to act nice and seductive to get all the attention he wanted from ZEX, but old habits died hard.

Besides, he couldn't help wondering just how interested he could get ZEX if he actually made an effort. "Is that better?" he purred, withdrawing a bit more slowly from ZEX's personal space (assuming he had any concept of such a thing) than was entirely necessary.

[wantsyourzex]

"No, I'm afraid not..." ZEX said, somewhat distractedly, as his new human friend leaned it quite close to him. Humans really were such amazing creatures... their bodies worked in such bizarre ways. He wasn't paying all that much attention to the water itself, what with something far more deserving of his attention in front of him. "There are... other fields of knowledge that I find more intriguing..."

And certainly, his explorations with his Captain (and with Xigbar as well) had only scratched the surface of what humans could do one another... the possibilities could only be unlimited! ZEX followed his movement somewhat as he leaned away, unconsciously, before moving back to where he was. He'd been lucky today so far... perhaps if he was careful, he could keep his streak intact. "Mmmm, yes... much better..." ZEX said, still staring intently at him. "I wonder how I could repay you..."

[k4t4str0ph4l]

Well, no one could possibly accuse ZEX of being subtle; he was dangerously close to going slack-jawed and salivating. Even with Yohji Schuldig couldn't usually get this good a reaction.

Once again, he took stock of whether he really couldn't justify pursuing this; it was so easy it almost seemed like a crime not to. But he came up against the same answer every time: There aren't many lines I won't cross, but -

Boundaries. Even Schuldig had some apparently. It was something to keep in mind, no matter how much he was enjoying the attention. He could almost pity Zelnick - if the captain's sense of self-awareness, and methods of coping, weren't so similar to that of a common pill bug. Anyone who couldn't answer the question "Extraterrestrial sex?" with a simple yes or no was too stupid for sympathy.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure you already have something in mind, Admiral," he replied with a smirk - one of the less wicked and more seductive in his repertoire. Well, one thing was for sure - this was every bit as distracting as he'd hoped it would be.

[wantsyourzex]

ZEX was sure that he was winning the new human over, and of course, he wasn't surprised that he would be. After all, who could resist his charms? Not as many here as he would have thought, which was very reassuring. A willing human still seemed almost unreal, after wanting one for so long...

"Hee! Hee! Hee!" ZEX brushed some hair from his forehead before resting a hand over his eye as usual. "Mmm, you'd be correct, I am picturing something..." A rather pleasant image, although in reality he'd have to account for his now human body... perhaps something like he and the Captain had engaged in that one time?

Something was nagging at him slightly, and he tore himself away from his daydream with effort. Now that he thought about it, the human referred to him by his rank... he blinked a bit, his pleasant mood momentarily faltering. "Ah... have we met? I don't recall introducing myself..." ZEX was sure he hadn't seen this human somewhere before...

[k4t4str0ph4l]

"Not officially, no," Schuldig replied, turning his attention to his own shower for the moment and wondering, idly, if his hair would lose any of its exotic appeal to ZEX once it was wet. Oh, well, he'd soon find out. "I'm a telepath. I believe you and I and your friend the captain have spoken on the bulletin board before, as well."

[wantsyourzex]

It wasn't as though ZEX was paying much attention to cleaning himself as it was (water, in his mind, should have been enough), so it didn't make much of a difference when all his attention focused on what his new friend was doing instead. Humans underneath a spray of water, it was spectacular.

Ah, he was still talking to him. ZEX tried to think of what he'd said. Yes, the bulletin board... that did sound somewhat familiar, vaguely, although he couldn't quite recall the specifics. A telepath... yes, that did sound familiar. If he recalled correctly, they had expressed doubt that his Captain had been truly interested in him. Well, that had been settled quickly enough!

"A telepath, I see," ZEX said, still staring at him lovingly. "I do remember exchanging some words with you then... although your name escapes me now. I have no memory for human names, I'm afraid." ZEX was smiling in what he hoped was a friendly way, but with a naked body to stare it, it was leaning more towards lecherous as usual. "But I don't see why that should hinder our... potential relationship." Smile widening. "I'm-... ah, I'd introduce myself, but I'm sure you already know who I am. Hee!" That would simplify things, to an extent.

[k4t4str0ph4l]

"Who and what," Schuldig agreed, closing his eyes briefly as he stood under the spray. "Which, I have to tell you, is kind of disturbing, although it's not as though you can do much about it." If there was any subject he could manage some sympathy for, it was having been born as a freak of nature that made most people uncomfortable - and while their circumstances couldn't have been more different, the end result was roughly similar. "And the name's Schuldig, by the way."

He had to admit, he was amused by the thought of ZEX trying to break his name down into three-letter syllables for the bulletin board. German didn't really lend itself to that sort of thing.

[wantsyourzex]

"You see me as I am then." There was a palpable relief in ZEX's voice... if Schuldig really was telepathic, than he of all people would know for sure that ZEX wasn't Max Vyer. Surely a telepath would see through insane delusions to see truth. At least, ZEX hoped as much... he really didn't know much about telepathy, apart from his cursory knowledge of and experience with the Syreen in battle. If this was any kind of answer to his identity crisis though, then he would gladly take it for now.

Unless Schuldig had heard about him from someone else, and was lying to him. But he hoped that was unlikely.

For a moment ZEX's lecherous smile wavered, bordering on a kind of quiet resignation. "Yes, I know our species tends to be... physically repellent to yours, and vice versa. It's really a sad state of affairs..." A moment where he considered elaborating on his beliefs on the subject at length versus returning his attention to admiring Schuldig's naked body. It really was no contest. "Schuldig... I've never heard a name like that before. It's intriguing." Not to mention that his language should, logically, have absolutely no way of pronouncing something with those sort of sounds in sequence, but somehow... he could.

"It's very different..." ZEX said, approaching a leer again. "I adore difference, you know..."

[k4t4str0ph4l]

"I do know," Schuldig replied with a grin. That was kind of the point of being a telepath, after all.

Also, he was not sympathizing with an alien, no matter how much the whole intolerance to differences subject might resonate. He'd been born with a unique talent that most people found disturbing and blamed him for; ZEX just had inter-species sexual urges. One of their situations contained at least some element of personal choice, and it wasn't Schuldig's. Besides, he was probably just feeling magnanimous towards ZEX due to all the ego-stroking he was receiving.

That, and it was probably what those bastards had done to his head acting up again.

"So," he inquired lazily, "is your species promiscuous, or are you just not planning on acting out any of those thoughts you're having? You seem pretty comfortable with doing things with humans who aren't your captain."

[wantsyourzex]

ZEX had every intention of acting out what he was imagining, but simply needed the opportunity first. Pity there were so few in the daytime, when the nurses observed them so closely!

ZEX held one hand near his chest, reaching for a trunk that was no longer there. "Most VUX are not promiscuous, no. We have a very strong emphasis on family, and once your family has been decided, what partner you have, you're not supposed to venture outside of it." ZEX rolled his eyes. "There are some who have more than one partner, but it's somewhat unusual. It's all very boring." ZEX looked to Schuldig with a smile again. "That kind of lifestyle never appealed to me. You can imagine it did not endear me any further to my people as a result. But what do I care what they think of me?" ZEX waved an arm. "It's really their loss for being so close-minded."

Mild irritation coming through, as usual when he thought about such things, but he was able to quickly wipe that away by returning to ogling his new friend. "I think it's best to keep myself open to... as many experiences as possible."

[k4t4str0ph4l]

Well, ZEX wasn't making it easy not to sympathize with him. At the very least he had a mindset Schuldig highly approved of - why limit yourself to one partner when there were so many to choose from? "Not so different from humans, in that respect," Schuldig remarked with a grin. "The boring ones, anyway."

He glanced sidelong at ZEX. Just because he wasn't actually planning on finding out firsthand didn't mean he couldn't satisfy his curiosity... "So, if you had the chance...what would you do with me?"

That was a handy little psychic trick - by asking a question, he could prompt his target to think of the answer, making it remarkably easy to fetch the information whether the person wanted to share it or not.

[wantsyourzex]

"Really?" ZEX blinked. "I heard that humans were more monogamous..." From a few people now that he thought about it, but... "However, if that's not the case, then that's all the better. Something more we have in common, I suppose. Hee!"

A broad grin at the thought, then Schuldig asked another question that required some thought, and that ZEX was all too willing to answer. He blinked again with a more thoughtful expression. "Hmm... I have to admit, I'm still becoming acquainted with the... mechanics of human bodies, but I've learned a few things so far that I'd be willing to try..."

While he could remember what he and his Captain had done together, finding the specific terms for it was a bit more difficult. "Hmm, there was the... what was it called... kissing, I think?" ZEX was almost positive that was it. "And... touching." Various kinds of that. And then what they'd done with their hands... what term did humans use when they mated? He tried to keep his voice nonchalant, like he knew precisely what he was talking about. "And, time permitting, perhaps we could mate with one another, if you'd be willing." And ZEX assumed, for the sake of the hypothetical question, that Schuldig would be willing, although it was difficult for him to think of why anyone would not be willing. After all, it had felt very nice.

[k4t4str0ph4l]

Damn it. There was the request, made as directly as any offer Schuldig himself had ever made and demanding a final decision on his part. His aesthetic sense was considerably turned off by ZEX's mental images of how he was supposed to look, regardless of what he actually looked like at the moment...but his ego and libido, by contrast, were thoroughly interested, and the war they were waging on his better sense was a heated one with no clear victor.

It had been so much easier to declare to himself that ZEX was off-limits back when ZEX wasn't actually offering himself as an option. Temptation was a lot easier to resist when it wasn't there, and Schuldig had never had a good track record for holding out against it. Not to mention the interesting prospect of being in a position to mess with the captain indirectly...no man who complicated something as simple and enjoyable as sex that much deserved to have any, anyway.

"How much do you actually know about how humans mate, anyway?" he asked, if only to buy himself some time. "Particularly two men?"

[wantsyourzex]

Schuldig hadn't responded to ZEX's offer with disgust or a flat refusal, which to ZEX was the same as acceptance. Wonderful! Now they simply had to arrange a time and place, hmm... it was unfortunate that he was already busy tonight...

Although, some part of him tried to remind him, he really should be spending his time trying to find a way to return to his normal body and an escape from this place rather than spending his nights in the company of humans. On the other hand, he had been waiting more than twenty years for some of the opportunities presented to him here, and surely he'd earned some time spent embracing a human or two. Or three. Or as many as he could get.

ZEX brushed some of his wet hair from his face. It was really bothersome that humans couldn't move it independently like his head feelers... "Hmm... like I said, I'm still unfamiliar with many things about human bodies, although I'm learning with the help of several helpful teachers." ZEX laughed quietly to himself at the thought. "I've done it once, at least, with my dear Captain..." Then something Schuldig said caught his attention. He blinked curiously. "Two men... why? Is it not the same regardless?"