Day 36: Waiting Room/Lobby 1

[forgot_my_life]

Oh yeah. This was bad. Grabbing a chair and ignoring the woman who had brought him in, Takaya crossed his arms and glared at the wall. He wasn't going to participate in this bullshit. Being told he had 'company' and that he should he happy about it had ruined what was otherwise an okay day

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[showtime_matsu]

Matsuda really wasn't ready to be dragged away from his fellow band-mates, but they'd managed to at least significantly lift his mood, so he'd gone along quietly when his nurse came for him. That, and he didn't want to get in trouble with his nurse again. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate whoever-it-was taking the time, he just wasn't sure exactly who'd want to visit him in a mental hospital.

Aizawa, Ide, and Mogi had to have been busy with the case back home. They probably thought he'd taken a break or bailed on them, and he always seemed to be in the way, so they were probably enjoying it. At least Aizawa didn't have anyone to get onto now. The only other person Matsuda could possibly think of, since this place could raise the dead, would be here to visit his son. His own parents, then? Would they really come visit him, though, or would they just be disappointed at where he'd landed himself, and would they really go along with this place like L had told him? He really didn't want to get lectured, if that was the case. He had enough to do before he got out without wondering if his parents would approve or not.

He just had to remember what little information he had on visitors. People he knew, who would try to get him to buy into everything. If he remembered that, then maybe he'd be okay. L was already doing all the giving in, so he couldn't. He took a seat at one of the tables when he entered, glancing around nervously as he waited. Who would it be?

[damned_visitors]

To the young woman trailing into the lobby after one of the countless nurses, there was no plausible reason Tanaka shouldn't have expected this. It had only been two days since they'd said goodbye, after all.

But now... he was in this place, and the implications of what that meant for his mind's state was all too familiar. Her dearest younger brother had been here for over a week, and now Tanaka... it was almost more than she could stand.

And yet, although the news on Eric had been bleak, and their attempts to negotiate a visit to him had fallen on deaf ears, the nurse who had taken it upon herself to keep them informed had been insistent about Tanaka's well-being. He had already made friends amongst the other patients, and they foresaw he wouldn't have to remain there long. Her presence would surely help him along, she had said. Therefore, Sayami Lawley had been talked into canceling her plans to visit the city, and despite the fact that she thought her heart would surely break upon seeing him dressed in that dreaded grey uniform, here she was.

It was with a ghost of her usual smile that she finally approached him. "Hello," she said, so very softly.

[showtime_matsu]

When his visitor first entered, several thoughts went through Matsuda's head. The first was a simple no, surprised and shocked that they'd managed to drag her into this. At the second, he glanced around to see if maybe her brother had been brought in, if maybe he was who she was here to visit, but that wasn't the case.

At the third thought, he finally wondered why they'd picked Sayu of all people. Out of all the possibilities, it was definitely the most unexpected. She didn't deserve any of this, especially not after what she'd had to go through hardly a month ago. And with what he'd been telling L just that morning...well, now he had more of a reason to find out where the visitors were held, he supposed. She didn't deserve this, and Matsuda was going to get her back to her family.

She was looking much better, though, and she still looked just as pretty. "S-Sayu-chan..." he stammered. He couldn't take his eyes away, and this was all wrong, very wrong. How did they really intend to make him believe it by using her? "I...you, er...hi."

[damned_visitors]

Sayami subconsciously rubbed her hands on the black cloth of her pants, taking in his reaction. "Sayu-chan" was a reasonable enough nickname, but it was one he hadn't ever used before he'd begun to give into his delusions. Whatever place she held in them was a piece of the puzzle she hadn't yet had the chance to discover, and the thought of it made her distinctly uncomfortable. The possibility that she would deeply regret this visit was a heavy weight she couldn't seem to be rid of.

But she moved to sit across from him anyway, sliding a white bag from her shoulder to lap. "The staff really wanted me to come see you," she said, brushing a stray strand of hair from her face and frowning slightly at him. "...Are... are you surprised?"

[showtime_matsu]

Matsuda looked down at his lap for a moment. Was he surprised? That was a bit of an understatement. Shocked, yes, and horrified at this place for this and more, but he stopped himself before he said any of that. Even if this wasn't really Sayu, or even if it was, he didn't want to upset her. This whole thing just wasn't fair for either of them.

After a moment's hesitation, he looked back up at her. "I...yeah, a bit," he admitted, rubbing at the back of his head before giving her as close to a smile as he could. "I'm....really glad you came, though. You look great. I just figured that you'd be here to see your brother, not me. I mean, we hardly even..." he trailed off, not really sure how to finish that sentence.

[damned_visitors]

Realizing that Tanaka must have seen her brother, she found a hundred questions swirling through her mind, having to press her lips together and hold onto her bag with nervous hands to keep from asking them. How is he doing? Had they talked? Was he making any actual friends? Was what they were feeding him healthy enough?

"After what he did... they said the only way he'd get any better is for them to focus on him specifically... w-without outside help," she said hesitantly.

But then she seemed to notice something else, and put her hands on the edge of the table, becoming visibly upset. "Don't you remember--?" she started, then paused in uncertainty and shook her head. It was a mistake, surely.

[showtime_matsu]

"...O-oh." Wow, just was was Light supposedly in here for? It looked like he had been her first choice, though, but they hadn't let her see him, and for some reason she had decided to come see Matsuda while she was at it, instead of just going home or going shopping or whatever she wanted to do. He wanted to ask further, but Sayu seemed to be getting upset over something else. Over something he'd said. Great. So much for not upsetting her. There was something he was supposed to be remembering, and wasn't. Something he couldn't remember, because it was fake. He just had to keep that in mind.

In his fake life, at the very least, Matsuda apparently knew her better; even he could figure that out. But past that...well, there were several possibilities, but he didn't want to jump to conclusions. Not in this case.

"I'm sorry, I guess my memory's gotten a bit fuzzy in this place. Don't I remember what?" he prompted as gently as he could. He knew it would probably make her more upset, but if he wanted to make her feel better, he needed to know more. Right now, that was the important thing. Once his time was up, he could worry about finding out where she was and taking her home with everyone else.

[damned_visitors]

"If this is some sort of game--!" she started, then caught the look on his face and paused, her eyes moving quickly over his worried face. Despite his tendency to... miss the point sometimes, the lack of a smile clinched it. He wasn't teasing her this time.

"You really don't remember...?" came the quietly-spoken question, and then without another word she put her elbows on the table and hid her face in her hands. "I... I guess we'll just have to start at the beginning then," she said after a moment, her voice muffled. After another beat, she pulled her hands away and settled for staring at them. It was too painful right now to risk looking at his face, and she was determined not to cry. Not right now.

"We... met... a couple of years ago, when I was still at the university."

[showtime_matsu]

He couldn't help but feel guilty when she hid her face. It wasn't her fault at all. It probably wasn't even his fault, even though he sure felt like it was. At least she didn't look like she was crying when she finally brought her hands away, but she wouldn't look back up at him. That wasn't a good sign at all.

"I...oh," he began quietly, not really sure what else to say. This was all wrong, he'd known her for longer than that. Not very well, but that definitely hadn't been the first time he'd met her. He'd known her since she was a kid, from being over for work, but apparently that was all different according to this place.

"You know, I think it's coming back," he lied, giving her a small smile. It didn't last long, but he still tried to sound encouraging. "What...what else?"

[damned_visitors]

Although her eyes continued to linger on her hands fallen to rest on the table, they were definitely focused much farther away... on the times before the man she thought she knew had begun to change. Before he had to be dragged away screaming and in tears about a death that had never taken place.

"We went t-to the fair that time," she said vaguely, but then as if she was trying to keep herself going, began to speak quicker. "You've always been so good at those shooting games, and that night... oh... I never thought I'd have to carry so many stuffed toys!"

And fortunately, this one memory by itself was enough to slightly hearten her. Her frown was broken, and ever-so-slowly she reached out her hand and looked up, until her eyes were nearly meeting his under lowered lashes.

[showtime_matsu]

Well, that was sort-of odd. Matsuda didn't think that her dad would have let him take her to the fair at all, or that Sayu would even go with him. She'd said it herself, he was too old for her. So why--

Oh.

It had taken Matsuda's brain a moment to catch up, but it didn't seem to him like there was any other conclusion to come to. He'd met her at the university, taken her to the fair...she'd let him. So they had to have at least been 'dating' at some point. If that were the case, things had just gone from not fair to mean. It wasn't that he didn't like her, because he did; she was really pretty and nice and all...but she'd already said no once. It had stung, but he wanted to respect that and her parents' wish for her to not marry a cop.

...Then again. That did sound really nice. It was hard to get out and meet women when you were on duty and worked on a special case on the side that usually took up their entire nights. Matsuda didn't even know if that was really the case, and probably needed to find out before his imagination ran off on its own. Again.

"...Oh yeah! How the hell could I have forgotten that?" He had to keep this up for just a little while longer, had to make sure. "We should go another time once they let me go...er, unless I made too much of a fool out of myself?" he asked hesitantly. That was usually what happened, but this would probably be the quickest way to get answers.

[damned_visitors]

"Well, ah..." she smiled at the memory of him with ice cream all down his front, both of them laughing as they made even more of a mess trying to pull napkins out of the dispenser. "I think it'd be alright with me."

After all, even though the relationship between Aoyama Tanaka and Sayami Lawley had never been anything spectacular, the concept that he was willing to have her, and she him, was all that had mattered to them. They had met as just two normal people, and even as their careers had begun to take off, it was still that fact alone that had made all the difference.

She never imagined she would have to be the stronger of the pair, nor that she would ever have to fight off the idea that she was being punished in some fashion. That perhaps she was cursed to drive crazy those she loved most.

But he had asked her a question, and although a thousand possibilities on what she seemed obligated to say came up, she paused and rounded her shoulders instead. Another moment passed before she suddenly remembered what she had meant to bring up before the arrival at the institute's front doors had distracted her entirely. Brightening, she turned her attention to the bag in her lap, pulling out a small laminated book.

"Daddy thought that these were all just funny, but... I brought them to show to you anyway." She opened to a page and pulled it out, pushing it across the table to show off a number of pictured outfits. Rather wild outfits. "I know you're upset that your band broke up and all, but there's always second chances," she said softly, "...I thought I'd get a head start on figuring out how to dress you once you'd gone big."

[showtime_matsu]

She was smiling about it. Not only was she smiling, but she wasn't turning him down while she did it. Well, that settled that. He gave her another smile that actually stayed, and took the paper that she slid across the table. It was...interesting, to say the least. Some of them he couldn't really picture wearing, but others actually looked kinda cool.

"I was...in a band?" he asked, rather startled at that aspect of it. He figured he'd at least still be a cop, but they'd given him an even cooler job. There was a certain bit of irony in that, too, given what he'd been talking about with Demyx and Ginji only moments before his nurse had led him here. After a moment, he covered that up with an "Oh yeah! Well, looks like I'll get that second chance." Matsuda beamed at her, then paused as he realized how she'd started it all off. He continued on his train of thought, wanting to at least tell her about what he'd been up to before he asked about the Chief. "I've been talking about starting one with a few people here, already. They've got a music room, where we could practice." His smile turned into a grin as he slid the paper back across the table. "We'll definitely need some cool outfits. I really like that second one on the bottom."

Matsuda stopped here and went back to his previous train of thought. She'd said her dad had thought they were funny. He'd expected at some point to hear that the Chief was alive, since he'd seen L, of all people, but it was still came as bit of a shock to realize who she was actually talking about.

"Ah, h-how...is your dad doing?" he asked unintentionally hesitantly. It sounded as though he was alive and well and not anywhere close to dying...again, which was good. Matsuda had to admit that this life was sounding better and better. "Last I heard, I thought that he..." He trailed off, remembering what the nurse had said when he'd first woken up here. Imagined a death. This had to have been it.

He hoped he hadn't stepped on dangerous ground with the question, but he had to hear it from her. Matsuda knew he couldn't go along with it, but if he was completely honest with himself...he sort-of wanted that life. It would mean dating her, the Chief being alive, being in a band and maybe not even having to deal with Kira, and he wanted a nice simple life with an interesting job. Being in a band would give him enough to take care of without having to worry about getting bored. He could still help people, if he went around just being a good guy, he just might not be able to help them in the same way. He'd only gotten on the force because of a family connection, anyway. The police would be fine, with people like Light and Aizawa and maybe even L on the cases, so it wasn't like they really needed him...

No. He needed to stop thinking that. It wasn't a question of what he wanted. What he needed to do was get out with everyone else, save her, and get home. Instead, he focused on the person in front of him, Sayu and not, waiting to listen to her response.

[damned_visitors]

Sayami smiled brightly in return - even if it was only a little and nothing else, she was glad to have cheered Tanaka up in what she found such a dreary place. Looking at him, it didn't seem possible that something so horrible had taken place with him in the middle... he just seemed so normal, save for the failed memories he was clearly trying to cover up.

But then she noticed her mistake in mentioning her father, and in an instant her entire body felt cold and stiff, her eyes growing wide over the hand shot to her mouth in alarm. She hadn't meant to remind him of it, and although he seemed calm right now, who knew what might serve to set him off. She'd been asked to keep quiet about it, but naturally she couldn't have just made it easier on them both by keeping her mouth shut.

"He wants you to get better... we all do," she said hesitantly. "After all... the wedding was to be this summer, and...." Once again, her eyes went elsewhere, nervous, and she turned the ring on her finger absent-mindedly.

"Fifi's really wondering where you are," she blurted suddenly, "The vet says her puppies are due in about three weeks... m-maybe you'll be out of here by then?"

[showtime_matsu]

"...What?!" Matsuda exclaimed. Had he heard that right? So not only were they...

But...

Marriage?

Matsuda's body went cold as he tried to figure out just how to respond. He wasn't even sure if he loved that lie or hated it. It was definitely something that he wanted very badly. It was amazing to hear, and had, in that simple instant, made him a very happy man. But it was just that, a lie, and he knew it. If he lived anything like that, he wanted it to be real, not for her to just be someone brainwashed into loving him; Sayu, but not entirely. The Chief was only back because of this place, and they could probably kill him off again just as quickly.

But if he took it, it would be a truth. Sayu even had a ring to prove it. Matsuda figured he could be happy and not really have any worries about getting killed over justice. Not that he wasn't already a fairly optimistic person, but he could be happier than he probably had been since this whole mess started. He'd even have a dog!

It took Matsuda a long moment of silence, but he finally convinced himself that no, he was not going to tell her that he'd definitely be out in three weeks or less. He couldn't do that to everyone, and had to put in his share of helping out. If nothing else, he had to be the one to stick with it, in the event that no one else did.

"It was to be this summer, and...then I went crazy, and wound up here," he finished, sighing and putting his head in his hands for a moment, staring down at the table through his fingers. He could hear what sounded like someone retching in the room, and some other commotion from the same area, but he was more focused on the current issue.

"Anyway, I...maybe. We'll see," he admitted. He looked back up, gave her a sad smile, and hoped that it wasn't too obvious of a lie. Then again, who knew? They could brainwash other people, so they very well could just brainwash him within the next few weeks and be done with it. "I'd really like to see them. And I'm...really sorry that this had to come up now, just...I don't know what happened. Please...tell your dad I'm sorry. I hope he doesn't think I'm not good enough because of..."

What was he saying? He already knew what the Chief would have thought of this, and it was all wrong, but he was starting to not care. Even if he couldn't accept it, there was nothing saying that he couldn't just go along with the visitor and try to keep her happy, right? He'd be along to rescue her eventually, it was just a matter of...well, something. Even he didn't know what, because they knew so little about this place.

[damned_visitors]

She nearly jumped out of her skin when he reacted. In turn, she did not know how to respond to that. She was utterly horrified- not only had her attempt to change the subject failed, but it seemed her blunder had upset him anyway. And... did he not want to get married anymore or what? His brief summary got a nod from her, eyes wide and fingers once again curled up in front of her mouth.

Then, without any more warning, she began to cry, half-turning away from him as she sobbed into her pink-manicured hands. An older-looking nurse gave the man across from her a disapproving look.

"Why?" she struggled out, although she must have already known the answer. "All these things you say... with Daddy dead and... is reality just not good enough for you? We were so..." she sobbed, peering out and up at him, "...so happy before."