Feb 23, 2008 11:49
The cafeteria was all but empty when Zelnick got there. He was a little disappointed; he had gotten the impression that patients usually ate dinner in their rooms, so he hadn't arranged to meet anyone, and there really wasn't anyone to sit by and engage in conversation yet
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star dragon sword,
rika,
diva,
anya,
edward elric,
lucivar,
anise,
tyler,
mousse,
ken amada,
sam winchester,
naoya,
scar,
mason,
allen,
naminé,
tk-622,
miku,
luke fon fabre,
jack skellington,
simon (gl),
clark kent,
zex,
angel,
ginji,
zelnick,
shana,
peter parker,
luxord,
kurogane,
artemis,
knives millions,
harry,
mello,
matsumoto,
ion,
xellos,
usopp,
nakago,
heiji,
quatre,
lord recluse,
peter petrelli,
yohji,
phibrizzo,
archer,
ritsuka,
fox,
farfarello,
zoro,
ryoko,
okita,
mozenrath,
sanosuke,
haku,
yukari,
wolverine,
l,
willow,
bridget,
rubedo,
sanji,
jack horner,
rhode,
kenshin,
nami,
bella,
tenchi,
fayt,
momo (xenosaga),
sora,
reinforce,
ashton,
leon (so2),
birkin,
reno,
claude,
keman,
ami,
amelia,
kikyo,
rukia,
edgeworth,
itachi,
sousuke,
faust,
max,
harley,
zabuza,
peony,
hk-47,
argilla,
kenren,
robin hood,
hanyuu,
yuber,
guy,
armand,
kairi,
reid,
zelgadis,
vlad,
soubi,
roy,
frey,
valyn,
cid,
cloud,
leon magnus,
relena,
sai,
sasuke,
daemon,
aidou,
sierra,
akabane,
edward cullen,
brooklyn,
eddie brock,
scar (tlk),
omi,
hisoka,
rangiku,
subaru,
captain jack
Ah, there he was. Unaware of his presence for now, but that was fine with him. He liked the advantage of surprise. Rather than exercising his usual caution about human foodstuffs, he picked up a little of everything available for dinner, and tried to keep everything in balance on his tray while he walked. Ironic that a body that was so stiff and rigid would feel so untrustworthy.
He glanced around with the intention of making it look like he wasn't making a direct line for the Captain, but he found that he couldn't keep it up for very long.
"Fancy meeting you here, Captain!" ZEX said, with a perhaps inappropriately satisfied smile. "What are the odds? Hee! Hee! Hee!" Mmm, he's so beautiful. After a short pause where ZEX practically leered at him without much shame, he adjusted his tray slightly and tried to keep his voice smooth. "I was just wondering if, since you were so helpful and informative with me before, if you might explain some of these... items. Human food is still quite foreign to me, and the utensils even more so."
ZEX shifted his weight onto one foot in what he thought might be a coquetteish way, but instead he nearly lost his balance entirely. He cut a rather pathetic figure trying to make sure everything on his tray stayed in place and salvage what dignity he had in the process.
ZEX stared at his tray with a tinge of disappointment, like it was the tray's fault he'd overbalanced, and then he smiled at the Captain sheepishly, although that was not the emotion he thought he was conveying. "There was something else I wanted to ask you as well, actually. I'm surprised I didn't ask before, but I suppose I lost track of time."
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The leer was met with an incredulous expression, and the nearly-toppling with a choked laugh that Zelnick quickly forced to silence. ZEX really wasn't used to his body, was he? Doing his best not to laugh (while Zelnick's reservoirs of tact were nearly empty, he still had a trickle of the stuff for times like this), Zelnick shrugged and motioned to the seat next to him. "Go ahead," he said, voice carefully level.
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Again, ZEX sat quite close to him, although he did leave room to work his elbows without hopefully jabbing the Captain in the ribs. Human joints were strangely sharp at points for some reason. Although he was close enough to brush against his leg every now and then, purely accidentally of course.
"Do all your foods require... your skull protrusions?" ZEX poked his pork with one finger, which then cautiously went in his mouth.
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"Our teeth?" Zelnick asked, though he was pretty sure that was what ZEX was talking about. "Yeah, most solids need to be chewed before you can swallow. There's a few exceptions-- your mashed potatoes, for one, are soft enough that chewing doesn't really have a purpose." Zelnick scooped up some of the potatoes with his fork and ate them, then paused, staring at his plate. "This is really good," he said, surprise clear in his voice.
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"Yes, those things." ZEX paused for a moment, then tapped one of his teeth carefully with a finger. "They're... an interesting challenge to get used to. I was surprised to find out that humans eat so many solids... I suppose that explains why you have such a large feeding orifice. So specialized." ZEX sounded pleased. "It requires so much more work... it must make the act of eating much more satisfying." ZEX barely nodded, still uncomfortable with the motion.
ZEX studied the Captain's movements with the fork, and reached out to pick up his own. The Captain held it in a strange way... fingers in all sorts of odd positions. Was that how it was supposed to be held? ZEX gave it a try and ended up dropping the fork on his plate with a clatter.
"Is it?" ZEX sounded distracted. "I'm not familiar with human food, myself, so I couldn't say." He picked up the fork again, trying to use his other hand to position his fingers correctly without success. The fork fell again, and ZEX stared at it, sighing. Cursed thing. He poked the mashed potatoes with his fingers cautiously, and it seemed solid enough that he could maybe pick up a little of it. He picked up a clump and ate it, and while it seemed like his human body enjoyed it, he found the taste hard to classify, as he did with almost all human food with their short stubby tongue.
"Are these utensils optional?"
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"Humans are about the least specialized species from our planet," Zelnick said, bemused. "We're the jack-of-all-trade, able to do a lot of things passably, and a very few things well." Shaking off his bemusement, he asked, "How did you eat before? And what?"
Obviously more efficiently than right now; the bemusement came back in full force as Zelnick watched ZEX's struggle with the fork. If ZEX normally had this much difficulty, it was a wonder he hadn't starved yet.
"It's far better than what we had on the Vindicator. Not as good as my dad's cooking." He shook his head as he watched ZEX give up on the fork. "Some things are meant to be eaten with your hands, but otherwise, it's bad manners not to use the flatware." Zelnick hesitated for a moment, then took hold of ZEX's hand and fork. "Here, like this--" Carefully, he positioned the fork correctly, then squeezed ZEX's hand to keep everything in place before pulling back from the contact.
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ZEX quickly lost his train of thought when the Captain was touching him again, and he trailed off with a soft, pleased "Oh!". So many fingers moving around and near each other... it reminded ZEX pleasantly of intertwining head tentacles, and he sighed again fondly. Perhaps there was a positive side to hands after all.
Over all too soon. ZEX cautiously picked up a forkful of potatoes, and his hand paused as it usually did near the bottom of his neck. A subconscious routine that wasn't easily erased, and he again reminded himself that he no longer had a trunk, he had a mouth and it was far closer to the rest of his face than it was before. There, moderate success! A bit awkward, but the Captain did say this was appropriate behavior for humans, so he decided to stick with it.
"I never thought it'd be so complicated to be human. I was planning on learning more about your physiology while comfortably in my VUX body. I imagine this way is not nearly as enjoyable," ZEX said, smiling to himself, then perked slightly. "Oh yes, I remember what I meant to ask you before. Where would you like to meet for tonight?" ZEX paused to expand on that mentally for a moment with a brief daydream before continuing. "Perhaps your room? Or mine, if you prefer."
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The last bit caught Zelnick's attention. "Aquatic cities?" he asked, inviting elaboration.
ZEX did better with the fork this time, and Zelnick smiled cheerily. "It's probably pretty complicated to be a VUX, too," he said, "you've just had a lifetime to practice it."
At ZEX's question, Zelnick took a moment to think. "Hmm. I'm not sure if I could find a room I haven't been to. So I guess you should come to mine? Then we could go meet Yuber and his friend... I'm in room 39," he added.
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"Yes, the aquatics have their own way of doing things. Some of us are rather rude to them about not embracing change, or refusing to adapt, or whatever societal rule they've decided to enforce with an iron fist." ZEX blinked for a moment, and tried to keep his voice even. "Food is... wait, that's right. You humans aren't amphibious, are you? That's why you asked." ZEX chuckled a little, his tone strangely mild. "I believe our current research indicates that we originally evolved in water, and gradually evolved a capacity to breathe both water and air as we developed sentience. There's some debate over it, of course, from varying sects, which always seem to align so neatly with where VUX live. Heh. But we have cities on land or in the oceans, and despite what some may say, it doesn't make too much of a difference. Just that food down there is... different."
ZEX smiled, taking another bite. "I'm sure it cuts both ways, Captain. Again, I'm struck by our similarities. They seem to show up in the oddest of places, on a grand and... more intimate scale. We're not so different, you and I. I find that to be the way with many foreign things." Sad irony that his own species could not accept his differences, but ZEX was trying not to be bitter at the moment.
ZEX was going to remember that number. "I see. I'll try my best to make my way to you quickly. I'm in room 66, if you should ever want me for... anything." Anything sexy, he added to himself, but didn't say that part out loud.
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Still caught up by his enthusiasm, Zelnick nodded along happily. "It's easier to find common ground, a lot of the time," he agreed, "unless you're looking for the differences. I've only met a couple species who were truly alien to me-- even the oddest physiology can hold a kindred consciousness." He smiled in memory of some of the odder creatures he had met, floating gas bags and talking plants and whatever the Zoq and Fot and Pik were.
He mentally noted the number in his head. "Alright, then." Still smiling, he dug enthusiastically into his food-- the meat was unfamiliar (pork, they had called it?) but tasty enough, and the coleslaw was both entirely new to him and quite delicious.
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ZEX was then struck by the fact that he was fairly sure he wasn't wearing a translator, and he was reasonably sure he was speaking his natural language. Translation technology had been so commonplace in VUX history and society that it was assumed he could understand anyone anywhere, and he hadn't thought it odd until he realized that here, he should have no such technology. By all rights, he should not be able to understand anyone here.
How had he and the Captain been talking? Was he speaking VUX or human? He was almost sure it was VUX, it felt like it, it sounded like it, the grammatical principles all lined up, and now he wasn't sure. ZEX felt a sudden wave of disorientation and he ended up dropping his fork.
For the first time since coming to Landel's, for a moment ZEX wasn't entirely sure who he was.
"Captain..." ZEX said, after a pause, and he hoped he didn't sound as confused and desperate as he felt. "Captain, am I speaking human?"
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"Uh..." Zelnick blinked. The translation problem hadn't occurred to him, either; he was so used to speaking with alien crewmates with the aid of a translator, he had just come to assume that everyone could understand him as well as he could understand them. But this place didn't seem to have translator-level technology, and upon thinking, he didn't seem to be wearing a translator...
Utterly baffled, Zelnick replied with the completely pointless correction of "Humanity's primary language is English, not 'human'." Speaking slowly, he continued, "And that's the language I hear you and everyone else speaking. It's what I read, too, on the bulletin board-- everyone wrote in English, excepting a few words." Shaking his head, Zelnick set down his fork and leaned back in his chair. "But that doesn't make sense at all, does it?"
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He heard him say it in VUX, with the correct intonations and emphasis like he'd been speaking it his entire life. How had he not noticed this before?
"You're speaking one of our dialects..." A detail that would no doubt be as meaningless to the Captain as its counterpoint was to him. "You're speaking VUX... everyone here is. They write in it, too... your note... your note was written in VUX." ZEX paused, apparently grasping for words, and he pressed a hand to his head in a gesture he wasn't aware he knew. "I don't know why I didn't notice this before... I just, I was so used to understanding everyone else, but... this doesn't make any sense. How could you write- I'm speaking VUX now and you understand me, or at least, I think I am. Have I gone mad?"
He'd faced a similar identity crisis before, where he lacked the ability to define himself as a VUX because he simply was not what defined a VUX. Sexual identity and orientation was such a crucial part of VUX culture and society that it was the basis on which almost all relationships were formed, where all sense of self developed. ZEX was not able to define himself that way, and for some time he did not know who he was except that he was not what everything told him he was, and it was one of the most painful experiences of his life. He'd been determined not to repeat it, and once he'd sorted through the entire mess, he'd embraced his newfound, unexplored sexual identity with unchecked enthusiasm because it meant he would always know who he was, no matter what happened to him.
That was countless years ago, decades ago, and to feel this way again was jarring and emotionally distressing to say the least. How could he even be reading things written in a different language? Everything inside him said VUX, and now everything outside him said human, and nothing had caused him to doubt the veracity of his inner nature until now.
He would not do this again. He buried his hands in his hair, tried not to focus on the strange sensation of it, of hands, and decided he would not allow this to happen. He was Admiral ZEX, that could not change. It would not change.
"There is an explanation for this..." ZEX said softly, struggling to calm himself down. "I'm sure there is. I'm not..."
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He could understand that, whatever was going through ZEX's head, it was upsetting him badly-- and not just bitter-about-how-much-his-species-sucks upset. Seeing someone who had, in Zelnick's brief experiences with him, been so self-assured, so very grounded in confidence, wrought with doubt...
It was almost painful.
"Hey," he said, as gently as he could-- this was different from sad-and-bitter ZEX, "it's..." well, obviously it wasn't all right, it was clear as crystal that it wasn't all right. "I'm sure you're right, Admiral, there's got to be an explanation. If whoever bought us here could put you into a human body, they could... implant a subdermal translator chip, or have some sort of psychic field that translates-- I'm pretty sure that's how the Talking Pets work-- or... or something." Hesitantly, he slid his chair up next to ZEX's and rested a hand on his back.
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Old thoughts that kept him steady and calm during the War, able to plot and plan the deaths of hundreds, thousands. Enabled him to kill as many as was necessary to win one skirmish after another. Natural and mechanical.
ZEX's voice was quiet and completely serious. "There must be an explanation for this... this place changes completely from day to night through means unknown. Something like this would likely be within their power, or perhaps they modified my human brain like you suggest and implanted a translating device to alter my perceptions." It didn't answer any questions definitively, but it was enough for now. ZEX had both eyes open, but wasn't staring at anything definite. His voice lowered, as though he was speaking to himself. "I know I am not human, I am not Max Vyer. I am Admiral ZEX, this is a fact. I am a VUX, regardless of my appearance. Fact. The language I speak or hear does not change this. Most likely another method of wearing down prisoners here so they can be manipulated more easily. Inspiring doubt. It is a gambit, I reject the terms."
ZEX mumbled to himself a bit further, sentences not quite coming together completely and his eyes narrowed. The Captain's touch made him flinch just slightly, his entire body tense, and when he turned to look at the Captain, his eyes were distant and cold.
"Acceptable risk..." The end of the last sentence of his mumbled thoughts, and he stared at the Captain a bit longer before his eyes softened, and he saw him again. He didn't smile, but his voice had a tinge of his usual energy. "I apologize for my conduct. I was unprepared for this situation."
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At ZEX's apology, Zelnick forced a weak smile. "I'd worry about the mental stability of someone who was prepared. Who expects to be thrown into a new, unfamiliar body, and into a place where little to nothing makes sense?" Despite ZEX seeming to feel better, Zelnick kept a comforting hand on his back-- the way ZEX had been mumbling, Zelnick was pretty sure the Admiral had been trying to talk himself back into internal equilibrium, but wasn't sure if it had entirely worked. "Still, you're still yourself, right? Even in a crazy situation like this." Almost unconsciously, he rubbed his hand in soothing circles on ZEX's back, like his parents would to him when he was a kid... and this place was certainly a nightmare. Fleetingly, Zelnick wished his parents were there with him, to give him some of that advice he had never listened to as a teenager.
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