DAY 29: WAITING ROOM/LOBBY 2 (2nd shift)

[not_rly_fai]

Yuuhi was probably one of the few people to arrive in the waiting room who wasn't surprised to have a visitor.  It had to happen sooner or later, they always found one another in whatever new world they arrived in.  Sometimes it took longer than others, minutes, hours, weeks, even months, but it was almost inevitable (Hitsuzen as Yuuko-han might

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[boot_i_licious]

Rinali was a little surprised when the nurses came for her and told her she had a visitor. A visitor? It couldn't be, could it? Had her brother come for her? Was he infiltrating so that he could break her out of this horrible place? It was entirely possible, and her heart skipped a few beats as the nurse took her into the room to meet with her visitor.

Brother, please let it be you, she pleaded internally. She'd been away from him more often than this, but never had she felt so abandoned without him. At least Allen was here, and while she didn't see them often, Ravi and Kanda. But to see her brother again...it would be too much. Still, she had to be honest with herself. It might not be Komui. It might be Crowley, or one of the other exorcists or members of the Church. Still, a visitor meant that maybe someone had found her, that she and Allen could find a way to escape.

She subconsciously smoothed her shirt, even though it didn't have any wrinkles on it. If it was any of her friends on the outside, she wanted to look every bit like the Rinali they knew and loved.

She only hoped that they knew a way for her and the others to escape.

[damned_visitors]

How long had it been since he'd been forced to leave her here? It must have been only a short amount of time, but for him, it felt so much longer. Time passed by so slowly when he wasn't with his only little sister. So slowly. But, as he had to keep telling himself, it was for her own good. Even if she ended up hating him for doing this, he had to help her. That was what big brothers did, after all.

He eyes lighted when he saw her enter, and he bolted up from his seat, nearly about to rush to her. He didn't though. The nurses had given him fair warning about causing a scene as he had done when leaving his sister in their care. Shouting her name, running to her and clinging with the intent of never letting go would have definitely been considered a "scene".

Instead, he smiled his brightest for her and threw his arms wide open. "Come and give your big brother a hug!" He did hope she didn't hate him enough to shun a hug.

[boot_i_licious]

It was him. No...it couldn't be. But...it was! Standing there as clear as day, every bit the same brother she had always known. All of the fears and terrors of this place melted away as she saw him there. The man who had gone to work for the church only so that he could be there for her. He gave his entire life for her...and here he was again. He was going to save them! He had to!

There was no formality about the way she moved. She didn't worry about her decorum, or how other people would see her. Her brother had come for her! She nearly bolted over to him and wrapped her arms around him, squeezing him tightly as tears began to well up in her eyes. "Brother!" she cried out, feeling at once all the things she had been holding back about this place come rushing forward. Now that she was safe in his arms, she could afford to break down a little. "Oh, brother, you don't know how horrible it is here! They keep telling me I'm someone I'm not, telling me I'm sick...and then at night the doors unlock and terrible monsters roam the halls! But that's alright, because you're here now."

She lowered her voice to a hushed whisper. She didn't want the nurses to know what they were planning. They weren't as hideous during the day. "Allen's here, too. We were going to try and escape, but if you're here...you'll help us, won't you, brother?"

[damned_visitors]

He returned the embrace just as tightly, relieved that she hadn't stayed away. She was there in his arms like she should have been from the beginning, safe and secure. He had missed being able to comfort her like this. It really had been a long time since he'd seen her, but moments like this made the wait well worth it.

"I'm here; it's all right," he spoke, trying to calm her. He had known she would hate it here, away from him, but the mention of monsters was a bit shocking. He could only think that it was an exaggeration on her part to make him feel more horrid for having left her. She didn't need to exaggerate to make him feel that way; he already did. Nothing else in the world had ever mattered so much to him as his little sister, but because of his neglect, she had suffered. She was still suffering.

All because of him.

"You are sick," he said slowly, keeping his voice gentle as only a loving sibling could, "but that's not your fault. It's mine. I should have been there for you; I should have! But when I wasn't... this happened..." He felt the tears in his eyes and clung to her tighter when she whispered about someone he did not know. He should have known that she wasn't completely better, not yet. She probably didn't even think she was hugging the right brother. "I'm so sorry, Mei," he whispered, the guilt clear in his tone.

[boot_i_licious]

She had expected to find comfort in his arms, just like before. She wanted to feel safe and warm and not worry about anything like the monsters or escaping or anything else...but what she felt instead was only sadness. Her brother, her Komui, was sad and..said she was sick? She felt fine! Better now that her brother was here and was going to help them escape. He was going to make everything better like he always did, like she always did for him. They did that for each other, didn't they? They..

...he called her Mei.

"...how did you know that name?" she asked, suddenly feeling very dark and cold and alone. He wouldn't be in on this with them, he couldn't be! He could be an imposter, but no imposter could so perfectly match the smell of him, the warmth she felt in her arms, the amazing amount of love she felt just by looking at him. And he was sad, so incredibly sad to see her here.

And then it dawned on her. So blinded by emotions had she been that she didn't recognize just what he was saying. "You're not going to help me get out of here, are you," she said, not as a question so much as a grim statement of reality. Komui wasn't here to stage a brilliant rescue. He wasn't here to sneak her out or go get help or anything even remotely similar. He was going to leave her here, and he was sad because of that.

And that sorrow made it hurt even more.

[damned_visitors]

"Because it's your name, the one our parents gave you," he answered, recognizing immediately what she meant in asking. He knew it was her name, but she still didn't remember that it was. She was too damaged to remember. "You're my little sister, Mei Dianfu, and I'm your big brother, Li, but you don't have to remember that right now." He set a hand to her head and gently soothed her hair back. "Right now, I'm just so happy to see you."

Her statement, which he took as a question, had him gritting his teeth. He was disappointing her already and so early in their visit. But he supposed he had done that long ago.

Carefully, he forced himself to release his hold of her enough so that he could speak to her directly. He looked down at her with glossed eyes, smiling softly, "I wish I could, Mei. I really wish I could just take you out of here so we could go home and be a family again," he swallowed hard. If he wasn't strong in his decision, then how did he expect that she would understand. "But I cannot. I'm... I cannot help you like the people here can. I wasn't able to help you. You were hurt too much for me to do anything, even though I tried. And I did try, so hard. I just... I wasn't good enough."

His eyes broke with her face and lowered to the ground. "You must hate me for leaving you here. You have every right to hate me... for that, and for not being there for you. I couldn't do anything right for you, no matter how much I tried. There was no other choice but to leave you with someone who could help, and these people can. They can help you get better. Please," he looked back at her again, eyes now desperate, "I want you to get better. You can hate me forever if you want, I'm all right with that. Just get better."

[boot_i_licious]

His words stung her ears. It didn't make sense Mei Dianfu? no! She was Rinali Li...and he was...Li? Had she taken her last name as her brother's first name?

No, this wasn't making any sense! She knew who she was! She was Rinali! An exorcist in a team of wonderful exorcists, out there to save people from the evils of the Akuma. That was exactly who she was.

But she would be lying to herself if her brother's words hadn't cast some small shell of doubt on everything. He wasn't an imposter, couldn't be. He was too genuine, too much like the Komui she knew. Maybe they had tricked him into believing this...but that didn't make sense, either. Her entire body shuddered slightly as she tried to make sense of what was true. She had invested so much of her universe into her older brother, into Komui. How could she ignore his words?

"You have to believe me," she whispered, wishing the warmth of his arms would be enough to make this all go away. "They're not nice to me here. Or Allen. They...they do things to us. Did something horrible to Ravi last night, too."

The very thought of hating him seemed so utterly ridiculous that the tears turned to a small degree of anger. "How could I ever hate you!" she nearly shouted, standing up and pulling away from him slightly. Teardrops fell freely from her face and darkened the carpet. "I..." Her own eyes lowered to the ground, inspecting very nearly the same place that Komui had. "What about the Black Order? The church? Everything?"

Her thoughts were scattered, and she found it difficult to pick up the pieces. This was the biggest shard in her universe, telling her what she understood was wrong. That she was sick. That she belonged here. It just...nothing made sense anymore.

[damned_visitors]

Even though she was shuddering now, he wasn't going to let her go unless she either asked or pulled away completely. There was always comfort in the touch of one's own family, even if that family was, for the moment, very confused.

"Mei, I do not know who you are talking about," he said. He truly did not know any Allen or Ravi, but he was not about to attempt to convince her that she was mistaken; the last time he had tried that she had only gotten worse. No, it was his job only to comfort and possibly ease her into remembering the truth with his presence.

He released her when she stood up suddenly and pulled away. She was upset now and no longer crying just because he was there for her. He wasn't about to touch her again as he felt it may upset her further. She was saying that she didn't hate him, but he could not ignore the anger in her eyes. There was something she was mad at, and it was his duty to take her anger even if it was not directed at him. He knew what it was directed at, or should have been directed at, and that matter was his fault. The whole mess with the Black Order, the church she mentioned, that was all his fault.

"Do you remember what that cult did to you?" his question was a mix of hopefulness and loathing, all riding on the soft tone he fought to keep when speaking to her. The words he would have used were far uglier than his sister needed to hear. "When they killed our parents and took you away? How they... tortured you?" They were hard questions for him and would probably harder for her. People who went through things like that shouldn't have had to remember them, but with his sister in such a state, he had no choice but to try.

[boot_i_licious]

"Allen," she said, her eyes pleading through the tears. "You know Allen, right? He has white hair and a scar over his eye. He's very friendly, eats a lot. He's one of my best friends. You knew him! Please tell me you know him!" She needed this, needed to know that he knew Allen, that there was some part of her memories that were true. If she could focus on just that small shard of her universe, connect the pieces together, she might be able to stay afloat, she might be able to swallow that she was sick, that she wasn't Rinali, that...

..she had been in a cult? A cult that had killed her parents and taken her away. In horror and shock, she backed up against the wall and slid to the floor. "They...they tortured me?" she asked, his voice quiet as if afraid to voice the question in case she wouldn't like the answer.

[damned_visitors]

"Mei," he sighed, wishing that she wouldn't try to push the lie onto him. It wasn't his place to tell her that she was wrong, because if she really believed something, then it was real enough to her. He would have tried again to encourage that he did not know when she began describing someone nearly familiar, though not quite. His eyes lighted again, amazed for something she was saying matching so closely to the truth. "Yes, there was a boy you knew once, but his name wasn't Allen, it was Adam. You used to play with him when you were little. He had blond hair, but it always looked white from a distance, and there was a scar on his eye as well, the left." Maybe she was getting better, little by little. That prospect relieved him so much that his smile brightened a bit.

Then she backed up and slid down the wall. He panicked and nearly had a nurse come, but when he heard her speak he knew the sudden collapse hadn't been because of any physical problem. He had scared her with his questioning, and she was right to be scared. Getting over such a trauma was not an easy thing.

Slowly, he knelt down before her, close enough to be grasped if she needed it, but far enough to keep from feeling threatening. Anything he said on the past would frighten her, he knew, but it would come up eventually. At least now he was here to help her. "You were still very young when The Black Order stole you away." He had his fists clenched tightly. The past was hard for him as well. "I wasn't there to stop them from taking you, but I looked everywhere to find you, Mei. Years of searching before I finally did find you, but by then you were... so broken. You didn't even know who I was. I tried to help you remember, but they had done too much, fed you too many of their lies. You were so convinced that..." He had to stop. The taste of blood was in his mouth from having bitten his lip in restraint. That Black Order had caused them so much pain, it was unbearable!

[boot_i_licious]

Adam? Did that name sound familiar? Only in the sense of the Adam from the Bible, but...no...Allen's name was Allen, wasn't it? Or maybe it was. It was hard to say, there was enough truth in his words to make her listen, and he was Komui. How could she not believe him?

She wrapped her arms around her knees and hugged them in tight, trying her best to listen to Komu...Li. It hurt to think about, to think that maybe everything she knew was a lie, but it hurt more to disbelieve him. And the story hurt as he told it. "I was convinced that what?" she asked, knowing at once that it would hurt her brother to tell it, but knowing more than that, that she needed to know the truth. Whatever it was, however it stung to know. She needed to know who she was. Was she really Mei? Maybe. Maybe she really wasn't well. Maybe these memories were buried so deep that even now she couldn't reach them.

Still, she'd do anything for her brother. She had to.

[damned_visitors]

"That..." he started, then his voice broke, unable to continue.

He wanted to tell her, he honestly needed to tell her, but she was so delicate at the moment. Just like a china doll. The slightest mis-step now could be too damaging for her, for the both of them, but his concern was only for her. If he said the wrong thing, even if the words happened to be the painful truth, then she might...

"That... i-is enough for now," he finally decided, knowing that now he couldn't say. Hurting her scared him more than anything as he refused to be responsible for shattering his sister any more than those sick fanatics had. There had been enough pain in this meeting already. "You shouldn't have had to go through any of that anyway."

[boot_i_licious]

Rinali sniffled, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand. It hurt to hear these things, but the more he said it the more she wanted to believe him. She couldn't remember these things he told her, but it made sense to her...and her brother would never lie to her. He only wanted what was best for her, she knew this.

"I don't want to hurt you," Rinali said, still huddled into a ball against the wall. "I'm sorry, K..Li. I'm sorry I put you through this. I...I don't remember what you say, but for your sake I promise I'll try to remember. I'll get better...I will. And if you don't want to tell me now...I...I hope that you'll tell me eventually. I need to know..."

Why did she feel so horrible? Maybe it was because she was so sick, and she was fighting against the lies her mind had tricked her into. Still, it was worth it if it would make Li happy.

[damned_visitors]

At that, he could no longer stay away. He leaned forward and pulled her from the wall back into a loving embrace. Just letting her break down without making her feel secure had been too cruel. He was there! If she was crying, he was supposed to be a shoulder to cry on. If she was scared, he was supposed to comfort.

"You havne't hurt me one bit, Mei, not at all. Nothing that happened was your fault. None of it will ever be your fault. So please don't apologize," He squeezed her tightly, his own body trembling somewhat, "not to me, or to anyone."

The Black Order was responsible in every way for what had happened. They had killed their parents, stolen his sister away, tortured her with their sick rituals and finally made her believe that she was one of them. His sweet little sister a part of that damned cult! And he'd let it happen. In reality there was nothing he could have done even if he had been there, but the guilt still carried with him for that very reason. He hadn't been there.

"I'm the one who let it happen. I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most. I..." I couldn't protect you. He took a deep breath, "It's my fault you were hurt. I don't deserve any apology. I barely deserve to continue calling myself your brother, so don't get better for my sake. You should get better for you, so you can be happy again." He wanted to see her smile again. To see his sister happy once more and forever after. That would be enough.

[boot_i_licious]

She fell into the embrace that had always been so comfortable for her. "Brother," she said softly, still sniffling even after the tears had stopped. This was right. This was nice. "I have to do this for you. I need your strength or I won't be able to do this. Please. Just...don't leave me alone."

And yet she felt like he would never leave her. Everything was going to be alright in the end.

[damned_visitors]

"Shhhh," he hushed her. His hand had again taken to slowly smoothing down her hair. When she was little and sad, the motion had always been best to get her calm. He would just hold her in his arms, and sway, and tell her it was all right, all the while soothing her hair or rubbing her back. She was much too large not to lift like that, but she would never be too big for him to hold.

It hurt when she asked that he not leave, because he knew, probably as much as she knew herself that he wasn't allowed to stay. "I cannot stay here; they won't allow it. But listen to me, Mei." With his free hand, he took a hold of one of hers and held it firm. "I can't stay, but don't you ever think that I am not there for you. Wherever I am, be sure that I'm thinking of you. And all you have to do is think of me, so no matter what, you will always have my strength and my support. Until you can remember everything, both the good and the bad... until then, I know you'll be all right. You are stronger than you think, Mei."