Day 29: Arts & Crafts Room

[arc_wrench]

Arts and Crafts. Why in the name of all things sane and logical had that blasted nurse decided he looked like he'd enjoy Arts and Crafts?! HK made his irritation known very loudly and at great length to the meatbag, who persisted in her belief that he'd feel better after a chance to creatively express himself

Comments

[canieathim]

[I can delete if you're waiting for someone]

Yay! Arts and Crafts time! He could have stayed in the cafeteria, but that was only human food, which wasn't very tasty or filling, but then again nothing was ever really all that filling, not even the really fat guy he ate that one time, who took him two whole minutes to finish eating. He was really tasty and delicious and he cried and said please don't please don't but Gluttony didn't care because Lust said he could eat the big fat man so he did and the big fat man was wonderfully delicious.

Oh, right. Arts and Crafts. He followed the nurse who looked really tasty but he wouldn't eat because then the big men with the needles would poke him and make him sleepy and he didn't want to be sleepy right now, so he just followed her into the room with all the glitter and markers and cheerful colors, and then he saw someone who was painting with pretty blood like stuff. Blood was delicious, although it was better when it was in someone as he ate them instead of by itself, but that was ok.

He sat down next to the man and stared with eyes both hungry and curious at the brutal pictures the man had drawn. They were really yummy looking pictures, although the people in them would probably be more tasty than the pictures themselves, which couldn't feel pain or cry or anything.

[arc_wrench]

HK glanced up as he saw a meatbag approaching, his hands still filling in the last details on a picture of a charred-looking something covered in electrical burns. He was always astonished at how close human meatbags could come to Hutt-sized.

"Query: What do you want, meatbag?" He would have said 'Greeting:', but he was suddenly calculating in his head how much mass it would take before leaving the vicinity of a meatbag would require a significant escape velocity.

[canieathim]

Gluttony blinked a few times. Why did the man who drew the tasty pictures say Query before asking him a question? And meatbag? Was there a bag of meat somewhere, or was that him? He wasn't sure. Maybe he was trying to insult Gluttony, which would be good because then he could ask Lust and Lust would let him eat the tastypictureman. That would be nice. He was really hungry.

"I'm hungry," he complained, his stomach rumbling as if to prove the point.

[arc_wrench]

"Statement: Well, apparently these markers are non-toxic. You could attempt to consume those," HK said, examining one of his current implements of artistic creativity. What exactly was the problem with this meatbag (besides his meatbag status, obviously)?

And why was the meatbag stating that he was hungry? It wasn't as if HK was going to do anything constructive to change that status for him.

[canieathim]

All this talk of meatbags was making Gluttony really hungry. His stomach growled again in complaint. He really wanted to eat someone, but Lust wouldn't like that. The markers didn't look tasty, either. They wouldn't scream or cry or die or anything fun like that.

"Those aren't tasty," he said simply. "Lust won't let me eat what I want to eat."

It was very sad, that he didn't get to eat. He was really hungry.

[arc_wrench]

No, 'tasty' hadn't been the point. It had more been idle curiosity as to whether he could get the meatbag to eat them, if he really was so hungry.

HK sighed internally. He really just had to follow this line of inquiry now, didn't he? "Prediction: I'm sure that sometime approximately ten seconds into the future I will be wishing I hadn't asked, but... Query: What are the food items you are not allowed to eat, and why?"

[canieathim]

Gluttony blinked a few times at the query, then grinned his typical sinister grin. He liked people being afraid of him. Scared people were tastier. With one meaty hand he pointed at one of HK's pictures. "That," he said. And oh, was he really hungry now!

[arc_wrench]

HK's mind ran in rather peculiar ways. For instance, if someone caught him in an embarrassing meatbag-related situation or accused him of being pacifistic, he would have been mortified. But sit the former droid down next to a giant, grinning meatbag who had just revealed themselves to be cannibalistic, and his only response was "Statement: Ah. Good. More meatbags should be removed from existence, no matter what brutal or unorthodox methods are used to do so."

While he was technically a human meatbag at the moment, he absolutely refused to acknowledge that he was one of them. He was still a droid, and droids were never the target of cannibalism.

[canieathim]

Gluttony was confused. He wasn't a meatbag, but other things were meatbags? That didn't make sense. Both of them were made of meat, and were potentially bag-like. He liked bags full of meat, but if this guy was something different, well, could he eat that too?

"What's a meatbag?" he asked with genuine curiosity...and a little bit of confusion.

[arc_wrench]

Yet another ignorant meatbag! How many more were there in this galaxy that were not fully aware of the most appropriate term that could describe them?

"Explanation: Meatbag, as I have told many, many of them here, is a term used to identify and describe any organic being. And, just to preempt another usual question, no, I cannot stop referring to you as 'meatbag'. My Master ordered me to always use the term. It is now hardwired into my programming, and I see no reason to change this fact." Master had a wonderful sense of humor, for a meatbag...

[canieathim]

"Oh, so you are a meatbag," Gluttony said, feeling pleased to have come to the most logical conclusion. Lust would be so happy why, she'd let him eat the next person who mildly irritated her. That'd be wonderful! Oh, how he loved eating people, and he was really hungry. Why would he want the funpaintingman to stop calling him meatbag? It wasn't like it mattered to him.

[arc_wrench]

"Negatory: No, I am not a meatbag! Rhetorical: Do meatbags have 'programming'? No, they do not!" And neither did he at the moment, but he was too infuriated by the insult of being called a meatbag to let that get in the way of his argument.

He abandoned use of the markers for drawing, taking out two pens (one still caked with a little dried blood from last night), picking up a new sheet of paper. He began to use both pens to quickly draw a fully-detailed rendition of his normal appearance. "Statement: I am HK-47, an assassin droid built and designed by my Master, Darth Revan. The fact that I am currently stuck in a human body as opposed to my original durasteel chassis is a mere technicality!" He finished the drawing, shoving it in the meatbag's face.

"This is me. Query: Does that look tasty to you, meatbag?" If the fat man says yes, I take no responsibility for what I will do next!

[canieathim]

Ooooooh! He was like those armor people who had souls put in with fun alchemy stuff! He hadn't eaten one of those in so long! And the last one he ate he didn't get to eat all the way, because Lust wanted to keep him alive to convince the other boy to make the philosopher's stone so Lust could be human (which never made sense to him, but Lust was better and smarter and definitely knew what was best for herself, so he couldn't complain.)

He picked up and looked at the drawing. Oh yes, this would have been a most delightful and wonderful and crispy meal. "Yes," he answered, drooling slightly at the thought of eating something so uniquely wonderful as a soul-bound construct. Mmmmm.

[arc_wrench]

HK was left speechless for a few seconds at the reply. Anyone who was even remotely acquainted with him would realize how very rare this was. Rather than continue to sit there without any rebuttal while his higher cognitive functions seemed to have crashed, he held up one of the markers again. "Query: Then why don't these markers fall under that disturbing 'tasty' category? They're just as artificial as myself."

Because while HK was stuck in such very close quarters with a deranged meatbag, he at least wanted to trick him into eating something that would color his insides bright orange.

[canieathim]

Gluttony blinked a few times, not quite understanding the man who drew tasty pictures of what he once was. "They don't move or scream or make funny noises when you eat them," he answered at last.

Still, it looked like the man was disturbed, and that was good. He liked frightening people. Even though it wasn't tasty at all, he took the marker from the other man's hands and stuck it in his mouth. A few chews (it was so sad that he had to chew something so icky!) and he swallowed it entirely. He opened his mouth and let his tongue loll out, showing the strange tattoo of the snake eating its own tail.

[arc_wrench]

HK would have raised an eyebrow, had he ever intentionally shown a facial expression before. "Statement: Droids don't scream." They just made loud involuntary noises in response to damage, which might or might not fall under the catagory of screaming. These noises were not 'funny', and therefore did not count under the large meatbag's third catagory of things markers did not do.

HK watched as the meatbag ate the marker, feeling a little triumphant over the fact that he had managed to get get the fat man to injest the thing. His only reply to all of this was "Statement: Congratulations, meatbag, your tongue is now organge."