Day 29: Waiting Room/Lobby 1

[forgot_it_all]

When the nurse suddenly appeared after the intercom's announcement, Ritsuka could only stare at her. He had a visitor? He knew that Miku had one, but to think that he would get one? He couldn't imagine who would come to see him. Seimei was gone, Soubi was here... Or so he hoped. It had been almost two shifts since he'd last seen the older man

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[1mperturbable]

With a lack of motivation to argue, Cloud simply nodded his head to her order. He rested his cheek against her bosom, unable to deny the real feel. “Alright, I will try,” he murmured. Twenty-three years old and his mother managed to make him feel like a dependent child within minutes. Some hero he had turned out to be.

He sighed and hung his head a little. It was just like his mom to concern herself with the state of his bedroom more then anything else. She had done that when he was off and gone to military school, and he felt guilty that he had not wanted to come back to Nibelheim. He wanted to tell her some things that could never been written in a letter, but he held off to better live in this illusionary meeting.

He knew it was an illusion, but he wanted to cling to it selfishly. She was to a part of his life that he could never return to, a part that accepted him, his moodiness, his feelings of wanting something more. He felt guilty how little he had appreciated her efforts back then. “Mom, I do not remember… what was I like before this place?”

Nodding, he had to convince himself to stop hugging her tightly. He loosened his grip and turned his face where he could peer up at her. “I know… but I want to protect you.” From Sephiroth, from his memories, from the knowledge she was dead.

[damned_visitors]

Skye's mother was pleased by how well her boy was responding to her, and even more so by him agreeing to follow her directions, even if he was only saying it. It was his next comment that caused her worry, however. Skye's memory had been faulty for some time - it was one of the reasons he was here, after all - but still, she had hoped...

"Oh, Skye," she sighed. "Must you ask your mother these things? You know my views will be completely biased." She took one of his hands in both of hers, giving it a squeeze. "You've always been a quiet child. Sweet, except for those occasional times where you'll go off and get yourself in trouble. Worry me sick." She laughed again, that same quiet laugh. "You wanted to join the Marines for so long..." She trailed off there, shaking her head.

"You just worry about yourself right now. I know you'll be out of here soon enough. I'm just so glad to see you."

[1mperturbable]

Cloud found himself frowning a little to the name she called him. The first time he had not registered it, but it seemed to solidify this illusion of the institute all around him. To this woman, he was Skye. To his dead mother, he was Cloud. He almost tasted the well-placed irony of the name shift.

He stared at where she held his hand and looked up at her. He felt the need to correct her that he had wanted to join SOLDIER, not the marines. He did not though, keeping that to himself as he tried to figure out where his memories ended and this illusionary life began. She was just like his mother in every way. “I did not mean to bring anything painful back to you. I am sorry,” he whispered softly.

Turning his head, he noted a woman beating the one she was visiting and another person apparently trying to flee their visitor. Was this part supposed to drive them mad? He wanted to help the boy, but he would have to leave his mom for that. If he left, she may disappear and give him a look of disapproval that he was not used to.

“Mom… I do not like it here. Can I not leave?” Maybe she knew a way out of this place. If she took pity upon him, she may lend a clue to his escape. “I want to be where I know, my home, my friends…” he said, trying not to mention names in case she cast him off as thinking in illusions again.

[damned_visitors]

"Oh..." The woman looked saddened, patting Cloud's hand a few times more. "I know, sweetheart, I know. I want to be able to take you home. But legally... I can't yet, Skye. They keep telling me 'not yet.' That you're not ready yet... I love you so much, son. I'm sorry."

If she noticed any of the other visitors having problems with those they'd come to visit she didn't say. All of her attention was focused on the young man she considered her son. "I know I've said this before, but maybe next time you'll be ready. You're making such progress! I'll ask them again before I leave." The way she said the last part, however, made it obvious that she didn't believe the answer would change.

"Just keep your chin up, okay?" She didn't ask him to be cheerful for her sake. Skye had never been the most cheerful of boys, and this place certainly wouldn't help that any.

[1mperturbable]

Sighing heavily, Cloud cast his eyes down as it seemed that she had no idea how to get out either. Even if she did, it did not seem like she was going to give up the secrets to him despite her words. She wanted to have him back ‘legally’ which probably meant deemed mentally fit to not live in illusions or claim false identities.

He was never getting out of this place.

His mind was his weakness. It showed right now as he relished this illusion of his mother visiting him. It was so much less painful to not force himself out of the illusion that was thrown over him, to accept it and take it for what it was worth. He felt the minor pangs of wanting to do everything to please her, to live up to expectations and to gain her praise.

“They will say I am not ready,” he said softly, disliking how he felt like he had failed her. This illusion was dragging back painful memories of a time where he had been anyone but himself. “Will you come back the next visitation time? I want to see you again.” A pang of guilt hit him for even asking such a thing.

He looked anything but cheerful, and his blue eyes clearly showed that he was not feeling all that optimistic about staying here. “I will try… but I do not feel like this is helping. This is just a simplified routine with constant monitoring like I am some sort of child.” He was not even seeing a doctor, so what was the point.

Cloud suddenly wondered if this was his own personal hell.

[damned_visitors]

"I-- I'm sure they're doing all they can!" The worry in the blond woman's eyes only increased as Cloud mentioned how little he thought the institution was helping. They had to be doing their best. There was no other place as good as Landel's! "I'm sorry they have that patronizing attitude, but they do deal with a lot of patients who are worse off than you and need that sort of tone. It just becomes habit, I'm sure."

She hugged him again. Perhaps if she kept it up they'd go ahead and let her keep him. "I will do my best to come next time! I will! I do miss you so! The house feels so empty without you." When he did some home, she would have to cook like there was no tomorrow to make up for all the days he'd gone without her preparing his meals. He could stand to gain a few pounds anyway.

"Just hang in there for me. We'll see each other again soon."

[1mperturbable]

His mother's defense of his place silenced him from any further complaints. He doubted that this place was anything but a fine establishment from the outside, and he knew his words would not be taken well. He did not wish to upset his mother, so he simply nodded his head to her words. "There are a lot of violent patients here..." he murmured. He had seen his share of fighting.

Instinctively, he returned her embrace, not wanting to let go. Letting go meant that he would have to think about this illusion that he gave into, and he was not in the mood for that. He just wanted to relish in her attention, knowing that years before he had been annoyed by it. "I look forward to seeing you. Everything will be okay when I get home," he murmured.

Some sick part of himself wanted to believe in that, and he paled a little. Comforting illusions were better then the reality he built for himself.

He reluctantly dropped his arms and stared up at her face, trying to get a smile on his face but ended up looking miserable. "Alright... I will try my best to make you happy," he offered. He did not want her to go, but he sensed that his time was up. "Mom... I miss you."

[damned_visitors]

"I miss you too, Skye," the woman whispered back. She gave him one last squeeze before finally pulling away and wiping at the corners of her eyes. It was a bittersweet smile she gave him then. He really was improving, and yet... "I'll continue to keep your room tidy." It wasn't even as though anything posed a threat to the room's cleanliness, as no one else even went in there but her, but it was the thought that was important.

And then the nurse was pointing at her watch, and Cloud's mother's brows furrowed in agitation. Certainly they were allowed longer than that? She blew her son a couple final kisses, walking backwards towards the doorway. "We'll see each other again soon!" she repeated, as though the more she said it the more likely it was to come true. "Stay well, Skye! Eat your vegetables!"

And then she had turned away, following the nurse back out of the waiting room.