Comments | damned: Day 26: Intercom, Evening

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Day 26: Intercom, Evening

Aug 22, 2007 05:47

The intercom clicked on with its usual jingle, the Head Doctor clearing his throat before he made his last shift-changing announcement of the day ( Read more... )

carnage, axel, intercom, anise, goku, kougaiji, jade, naoya, allen, larxene, asch, light, clark kent, tsuzuki, hakkai, hiei, claire bennet, peter parker, luxord, artemis, rena, xemnas, aya, sparda, matsumoto, subzero, riddick, xellos, usopp, ken, integra, quatre, lord recluse, phibrizzo, yuffie, farfarello, hitsugaya, kadaj, gabranth, wolverine, l, citan, renji, kurama, jack horner, rhode, obi-wan kenobi, homura, siegfried, cyrille, larsa, ravi, duo, sora, excel, luffy, ashton, leon (so2), zakharov, river, birkin, claude, albel, ami, kikyo, rukia, ichigo, sousuke, javert, max, roland, peony, hk-47, sakura, yuber, auel, guy, heat, armand, kairi, nadine, roy, wesker, valyn, cloud, leon magnus, relena, sai, sasuke, daemon, aidou, riku replica, gluttony, ashe, eddie brock, hisoka, gin, omi, sanzo, tatsumi

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M42 stray_shinigami August 22 2007, 15:40:13 UTC

Dinner probably should have been the last thing on his mind; there were just too many thoughts bouncing around in his head, and they were all in conflict. But Renji had already missed two meals, and old habits took over. It tended to be like that; the more stress he was under, the more he fell back into behavior that had helped him survive, long before he was ever a shinigami. And part of that behavior said eat, before it gets taken away.

He sat at his desk and ate.

Re: M42 somber_secret August 22 2007, 18:30:12 UTC

Hisoka wasn't sure what he was supposed to feel as his nurse escorted him back to his room. He was angry (oh hell, he was pissed) but at the same moment he was sick and scared and with everything else combined, he was left shaking from it all.

His nurse was sympathetic, therapy was always an ordeal, and Hisoka pretended to care that she pretended to understand.

Thankfully, as soon as Hisoka stepped into the room, the woman decided to leave him alone. For once, the boy was actually looking forward to having a roommate who wanted nothing to do with him. It meant that Renji wouldn't ask or prod him into conversation because right now, Hisoka wasn't sure if he could talk. Comprehensibly anyway.

Re: M42 stray_shinigami August 22 2007, 18:34:47 UTC

Habit also meant that he ate quickly; he was almost done by the time Hisoka was brought to the room. He finished the last few bites, then stood, and headed over to lay down.

Hisoka looked like hell. At this point, it was a kind of hell that Renji was familiar with.

After a long moment, a long look, he finally said, "If you feel like talking, I'll listen. Otherwise I'll leave you the fuck alone and take a nap."

Re: M42 somber_secret August 22 2007, 18:52:34 UTC

Hisoka found himself unable to respond, the words a cluttered mess and all lodged in his throat. If he tried talking now he was afraid they'd come out as something else and not all of them words. Hisoka swallowed, almost hoping to clear the mess.

No such luck, he couldn't fall back on the biting sarcasm right now, the strain would have been obvious. Instead, he merely walked over to his own desk and blindly peered at his dinner as if Renji hadn't spoken at all.

Food had never looked so unappetizing before.

Re: M42 stray_shinigami August 22 2007, 19:24:28 UTC

"Understood," he said quietly, then laid down. He rolled over to face the wall. It'd be easier for Hisoka to ignore him that way, probably. And he had so much to think about, himself, and he didn't necessarily want to deal with any of it.

Except what River had said, perhaps. It wasn't the most pleasant direction for his thoughts to go, but maybe it was the way. There was a hint of hope there, at least.

And it gave him something to contemplate other than his - and he hated to admit it, but he forced himself to - dread over seeing Rukia.

Re: M42 somber_secret August 22 2007, 19:40:07 UTC

And suddenly, Hisoka was tempted to laugh. A laugh which, the boy knew, would quickly turn hysterical and he wasn't hysterical so he wasn't going to laugh. Renji wasn't going to push it, he wasn't going to ask or tell him it was "alright" because it wasn't and this knowledge made it that much harder to keep the clutter in his throat from spilling out.

He was okay. He was fine. Hisoka seated himself at his desk and mechanically picked up his fork to eat.

The silence was suddenly deafening, it felt somehow sick and twisted for him to wish someone Tsuzuki would just chatter incessantly.

Re: M42 stray_shinigami August 22 2007, 19:44:57 UTC

At least Hisoka was going to eat. Renji wondered what had happened to get the boy in such a state. But... it was a stupid question. He knew, in his bones, and he simply didn't want to think about it. Because then he'd think about what happened to him the day before. And while he'd been forced to approach that, he didn't have the fortitude to really consider it.

He closed his eyes. His hands, hidden from Hisoka's view, clenched into fists. And deep in his gut, he could feel the anger from the morning, what had caused him to attack both Ichigo and Daemon, stirring again.

He hated this place.

Re: M42 somber_secret August 22 2007, 20:28:17 UTC

The steak was proving difficult to swallow and wearisome to chew. Giving up on the second bite, Hisoka instead found himself staring at the baked potato with no real intention of trying to eat the thing even as he stabbed at it with his fork.

If there was anything to be thankful for, though, it was that the curse marks had stopped burning. It meant that the bastard was gone just not for good even if the nausea wasn't leaving and everything was so painfully clear in his head.

Hisoka's nails dug into the palm of his hands.

"Did he curse you?" His words were surprisingly steady, if deathly soft.

Re: M42 stray_shinigami August 22 2007, 20:32:39 UTC

Renji opened his eyes. He felt like he was going to be sick.

He hadn't acknowledged this, not out loud, with his own voice. It took him twice before he managed to speak. When the words came, they were quiet, hoarse. "Choked me unconscious twice," he said. "Don't know what happened then."

It was okay, he told himself, okay because Hisoka already knew, already understood.

Re: M42 somber_secret August 22 2007, 20:46:03 UTC

"You're not sick."

It was more of a statement than a question, quietly reassuring himself that Renji wasn't going to suddenly deteriorate from sickness and die. Even if everything went wrong that day, there was always that. Hisoka suddenly felt weary and only the fear of nightmares kept him from curling into a ball.

"Are you going to kill him?"

Re: M42 stray_shinigami August 22 2007, 20:48:31 UTC

"No," he said. It was like that old joke... still had his health. He gave the wall a sickly smile, not wanting to turn to face Hisoka.

His hands clenched tighter at the next question, his fingernails cutting in to the palms of his hands. "Yes," he said quietly.

Re: M42 somber_secret August 22 2007, 21:01:06 UTC

Then that was enough to show that Renji hadn't been cursed. Even with his limited knowledge, Hisoka knew enough about curses to know that his roommate wasn't put under one.

At the other man's easy acquiescence at the topic of murder the boy's eyes stung, not for Muraki, but himself. How much different was he from Muraki? Even if he hated the man and wanted to kill him in the painfullest of ways, Muraki was right when he said they were alike.

"There are times when I think I should be killed too," Hisoka's voice threatened to shake and already he knew he was going to hate himself for baring his soul like this later.

Re: M42 stray_shinigami August 22 2007, 21:05:23 UTC

That brought him up short, and chased away the negative direction his own thoughts had been spiraling in. He didn't sit up or look back though, not yet. "Why?"

Re: M42 somber_secret August 22 2007, 21:14:56 UTC

Hisoka found himself shrugging and it felt as if he was a little boy again, just waiting for the reprimand for his weakness. He felt tempted to let the subject drop, to say something cruel that would make Renji not really care anymore, but the pain proved to be impossible to ignore.

"What makes me any different from him?" Hisoka faltered, suddenly noticing his hands were shaking.

Re: M42 stray_shinigami August 22 2007, 21:21:57 UTC

That did have Renji sitting up. He had to look at Hisoka's face and see that yes, the boy was serious. He opened his mouth, trying to think of how to even begin to answer a question that... that... retarded.

"What-- I mean-- fucking hell, kid-- are you-- really, are you--" He shook his head. "This must be what going mad feels like," he muttered. Then he looked back up at Hisoka, his expression smoothing out. "I don't know," he said. "Raped anyone lately?"

Re: M42 somber_secret August 22 2007, 21:31:56 UTC

Hisoka's reaction to Renji's question was to bow his head, eyes hidden beneath the fringes on his hair. Of all things he expected his roommate to say, it definitely wasn't that. Hisoka's shoulders began to shake and, without warning, the boy laughed.

It was refreshing, even if the sound was tinged with hysteria and completely unheard of coming from him.

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