DAY 26: Men's Showers (Second Shift)

[canieathim]

Gluttony didn't want to leave his Lust, not after he'd just found her!  But the mean tasty nurses said he had to.  "You can't join her in the women's showers" was a bad excuse.  He didn't like the mean tasty nurses.  Maybe Lust would let him eat them later.  Still, he knew he would see his Lust again, and that was good.  He liked Lust.  She was

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[stray_shinigami]

The last statement received another small, genuine smile. Renji couldn't quite imagine an entire world like that, but it sounded like a nice change. "I see," he murmured.

"Where I'm from, it's not really that regimented," he said. "And... a lot more military, I guess, though I never really thought about it like that. You're either just another dead person, or you're a Shinigami. The Shinigami are in 13 divisions, which each have a different specialty. Each has a Captain and Vice-Captain and a 18 officers below that. You only get to the top if you have the strength for it." He shrugged. "There's nobles, but that doesn't seem to do much for power other than give them something to make the rest of us feel like shit about. Maybe they're a little stronger than most... commoners don't normally get to their final release. You're not allowed to address them as equals unless you're a Vice Captain or Captain." Another shrug. "I'm Vice Captain of the sixth division, but I can challenge to be a captain if I feel like it. There's only one higher than me here - Captain Hitsugaya." That was said with a certain amount of pride, but not smugness. He'd worked his ass off to get where he was, and he'd had a good reason to. It'd let him be close to Rukia again, in Soul Society.

[bastard_sadi]

"Each Queen has a Court," Daemon explained. "Some can be huge, but there's no set number, that's usually left to the Queen. The First Circle are those closest and most trusted, and then there are larger Circles that follow down a tier after them. They usually contained an equal number of males and females, but not always. Usually the defense and fighting is left to the males - although Lucivar trains most of our Coven's women right along with the men every morning - but that's not to say the witches aren't powerful in their own right. Often, we fight so they don't have to, because the results they can produce can be devastating."

[stray_shinigami]

"Heh." It seemed a bit odd at first, but when Renji gave it a moment and thought about it, he could see the reasoning. Rukia had always been far nastier than him; the worst he ever did to someone was beat the crap out of them. If she was actually angry, she was a lot more... creative. So if women where Daemon was from were even a little like her... yeah, just a little scary.

"Makes sense," he said. He shrugged, chuckling softly. "I just figured women are more important. It pisses Rukia off to no end." He grinned, thinking about some of the choice words she'd had to say about that tendency of his in the past.

There was a lot more that it made him think that he didn't say. Like the fact that no one, Rukia or Sora or any of them, seemed to realize that he needed someone to protect. Even if they could fight for themselves, it didn't mean that they had to. When all he could offer was himself as a shield, being that became the only way to express himself. And Rukia, especially, didn't get that.

Without her, I am nothing.

[bastard_sadi]

"Rukia?" Daemon echoed with a small smile, curiosity piqued from the tone of voice Renji's voice had taken on as he spoke that name in.

[stray_shinigami]

Renji shrugged; out of habit he looked away. He was a bad liar anyway, and it was only worse if he was looking someone in the eye. He concentrated on finally washing his hair. "We grew up together," he said. "Went to the academy together, too, until she got adopted by a noble family." Shrug. "She's here, unfortunately."

Even if they'd admitted their feelings for each other now, he didn't feel entirely comfortable speaking about it. And now, things seemed so uncertain again and he couldn't even begin to explain why, only that it was his fault entirely, and he was pushing her away even as much as he wanted to cling to her like there was no tomorrow. Trying to understand what was going on just brought him back to something that he didn't want to think about and...

He shook his head again, that sharp little twitch that was the outward sign of him forcibly dismissing a line of thought. "She always sort of ruled with an iron fist when we were kids," he said. "Me'n a bunch of the other little strays. But I don't think any of us minded, not really."

[bastard_sadi]

There was an entire tale there that Renji wasn't telling, but the tone of his voice when he spoke of her told a story in itself. Daemon knew that tone of voice. He was sure he used it often enough himself. His lips curved into a faint shadow of a smile as he echoed Renji's movements, washing out the dark hair that fell to his shoulders.

"She sounds like a woman to be respected, and worthy of protecting," he commented mildly, glancing at Renji from the corner of his eyes.

[stray_shinigami]

"She is," Renji said quietly. He laughed softly. "And she doesn't realize any of it." Even after he and Ichigo had almost died for her, she really didn't seem to understand why. She didn't understand her own strengths.

For a long moment, he looked straight ahead, up at the top of the wall as the water ran through his hair. He couldn't reconcile that he desperately wanted to hold her, touch her, everything, and at the same time he didn't want to go near her, not now.

He snorted, his smile becoming bitter. "We've been separated for the last forty years," he said. "Hell of a time to come back together now."

[bastard_sadi]

A wistful expression crossed Daemon's face at that. "I suppose it is. Even a year is too much when it's someone you want with your entire being."

"Still," he countered, glancing over at Renji, "at least you've come back together at all. The location is hardly perfect, but it is better than nothing?"

[stray_shinigami]

For a moment, he almost objected to what Daemon said; it was habit. Common scum weren't even supposed to look at the nobility, after all. But it was also true. Every year, every day was too long.

Not that he felt like it mattered now. It was too confusing and upsetting, something he didn't want to - couldn't deal with right now. All he knew was that it was far more painful than the nothing he'd had before.

He didn't answer; he closed his eyes and bowed his head, the water running in streams from his face. His expression became closed and still once more.

[bastard_sadi]

Daemon recognized that expression as well, even though he didn't know the other man very well yet. He still had no trouble reading it.

"I take it things aren't all well and resolved with Rukia yet, then?" he asked, his voice low and quiet as he studied Renji from the corner of his eye.

[stray_shinigami]

He didn't have an answer for that. Because in a way, things were resolved. He loved her; she loved him. And it had seemed so simple, so direct...

Enjoying yourself, pet?

His eyes were still closed; a brief look of of loathing and disgust crossed his face, before his lips curled back in a silent snarl. He drove his fist into the wall, like he had last night, so hard that it made the bones crunch; with all the background noise of showers and talk, it was masked. At least here it made no dent.

He turned to leave.

[bastard_sadi]

"Wait," Daemon said quickly, shifting his stance with a graceful ease, sliding in front of the other man, golden eyes dark with worry as he glanced from Renji's face to the fist still clenched at his side.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, his voice low and hushed as water dripped down his face. "I should have anticipated it being a touchy subject. My instincts are off here. We don't have to talk about it, there's plenty of other topics if you'd rather. Unless there is something I can do to aid you?"

[stray_shinigami]

Renji's fist raised for a moment before he managed to reassert rationality. It wasn't this man's fault, he told himself. He didn't deserve to be attacked, as Ichigo hadn't deserved it, either. He dropped his hand back to his side, forcing his fingers to relax.

"There is no help," he said, quietly. It was already done, and it had been his own fault, for being so weak.

The offer of other topics of conversation seemed laughable. No matter how he tried to escape this, it always seemed to come back to her, to his errors, the very thing he wanted to forget. He had nothing to offer, because there was only one thing he could think about, no matter how hard he tried to avoid it.

[bastard_sadi]

Daemon hated the fact that he couldn't connect with Renji's psychic thread enough to hears his thoughts clearly. The emotions and vague snippets of disjointed thoughts made little sense to him, and he felt there was something seriously wrong here. If he could only figure out what it was...

"You'd be surprised where help can be found," he answered quietly, golden eyes searching Renji's face intently. "Something has happened to you. Recently? Something that has you upset and uncertain."

[stray_shinigami]

Renji opened his mouth to protest, or simply to tell the man to shut up. It hit far too close to home, far too close to the very thing he wanted to forget. Before he'd even made more than a choked, angry sound, he lose his grip on rationality. It felt like he went hot, then cold in an instant, and then his teeth clenched together for a very audible snarl this time.

Then his fist was going for Daemon's face.

[bastard_sadi]

While Daemon wasn't exactly prepared for that reaction, he wasn't exactly surprised by it, either. Renji seemed to have as volatile temper as his own, and he'd pushed too far. Hand cupping his jaw, he staggered back a step, but caught himself, feeling his jaw throb as pain seared along his nerves.

Mother Night, he had as hard a fist as Lucivar!

The observation was torn between exasperation and ruefulness as he took another step back, body instinctively shifting into a defensive stance in case there was a second punch coming after the first, even as golden eyes darted back to Renji, preparing to hold the other man off should he need to.