The dinner announcement came as something utterly unexpected. Rather than Harrington's excited tones, the calm accented voice of the General drifted through the intercom speakers
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"No," Lily said, audibly relieved. No scar, no surgery, only the same unblemished skin that, on others, had made her feel so alone in the showers. This time, however, the sense of shame didn't even cross the threshold of consciousness. "Where I'm from, it's..."
And once again, Lily was left with no way to explain herself or the things she'd experienced without losing Rose's friendship. Lily chewed her lip.
"There'd be a scar," she said after what felt like an uncomfortable pause. "If it was my world. You're okay."
Physically, at least. Safe from irresistible commands and fierce impulses. But she'd had to kill someone, and there was a good chance it was her first. Lily didn't remember her own; it had happened during the darkness. The first darkness, moments after the first light. All she remembered was waking into a world that had changed from white to red, red on her hands, her mouth filled with the taste of metal. Beasts, now corpses. Human limbs strewn across the floor, young voices screaming and whimpering. All she'd been able to do was cling to the only other child still standing, her body shivering in terror.
Lily wouldn't expect a reaction like that from Rose, who, in personality, more closely resembled the other child. Instead, she chose the words that she should have used then, if she'd ever known how to be the strong one.
"It's okay to be upset," she said. Nothing else. The scariest thing, Lily thought, was when part of you wasn't upset at all.
Lily sat on her bed, picking up her spoon and poking the gruel, though not actually eating any. It kept her busy. The statement didn't require a reply, and she didn't want Rose to think that she expected one. It was probably just as easy to lose friends by being nosy as it was to ignore them altogether.
ack sorry I forgot I owed this onelovecraftySeptember 17 2011, 01:57:50 UTC
"Yes. But I'm not upset. It's okay if you are." Psychological deflection. Avoid a painful topic by placing the expectation of the emotional state on the other person. As mental gambits went, it was a beginner's move.
Lily had probably been sincere, though, which made the sequence of followup moves entirely theoretical.
"I'll introduce you to Ilia. She was with me last night. She's...sweet." At least for a grumpy, grown-up soldier who didn't hesitate to snap a man's neck. Rose still wasn't sure she agreed that they'd gotten as much information from Giuseppe as they could have, but the die was cast.
And once again, Lily was left with no way to explain herself or the things she'd experienced without losing Rose's friendship. Lily chewed her lip.
"There'd be a scar," she said after what felt like an uncomfortable pause. "If it was my world. You're okay."
Physically, at least. Safe from irresistible commands and fierce impulses. But she'd had to kill someone, and there was a good chance it was her first. Lily didn't remember her own; it had happened during the darkness. The first darkness, moments after the first light. All she remembered was waking into a world that had changed from white to red, red on her hands, her mouth filled with the taste of metal. Beasts, now corpses. Human limbs strewn across the floor, young voices screaming and whimpering. All she'd been able to do was cling to the only other child still standing, her body shivering in terror.
Lily wouldn't expect a reaction like that from Rose, who, in personality, more closely resembled the other child. Instead, she chose the words that she should have used then, if she'd ever known how to be the strong one.
"It's okay to be upset," she said. Nothing else. The scariest thing, Lily thought, was when part of you wasn't upset at all.
Lily sat on her bed, picking up her spoon and poking the gruel, though not actually eating any. It kept her busy. The statement didn't require a reply, and she didn't want Rose to think that she expected one. It was probably just as easy to lose friends by being nosy as it was to ignore them altogether.
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Lily had probably been sincere, though, which made the sequence of followup moves entirely theoretical.
"I'll introduce you to Ilia. She was with me last night. She's...sweet." At least for a grumpy, grown-up soldier who didn't hesitate to snap a man's neck. Rose still wasn't sure she agreed that they'd gotten as much information from Giuseppe as they could have, but the die was cast.
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