The dinner announcement came as something utterly unexpected. Rather than Harrington's excited tones, the calm accented voice of the General drifted through the intercom speakers
( Read more... )
Seeing Rose was always relieving, especially after what had happened last night, but after the previous shift, Lily felt especially eager to be in the other girl's company. It wasn't like she expected Rose to explain anything--she seemed just as ignorant about the secret workings of the facility as Lily herself, though last night might have changed that--but just being there was a comfort. Something was wrong with Heine. She knew it. Something was wrong and there was no one to turn to.
Of course, that didn't keep her from an enthusiastic greeting. Rose seemed okay. She resisted the impulse to grab the girl in a hug, though. It seemed like most people didn't like that. "I'm so glad you're okay!" Lily said as she sat down on the bed, her smile broad and genuine. "I mean, I know you said you were okay this morning, but still, I was afraid maybe something happened and you just didn't...I don't know. But you are, right? Okay, I mean."
Even under the best of circumstances, Lily wasn't the most eloquent person, and the urgency of her question only exaggerated her verbal clumsiness.
"Well," she began, in preparation to nimbly evade Lily's actual question. "A great number of things happened. None of which appear to have effected impending doom upon myself or anyone else. That is to say, everything is fine."
It was less fun talking to someone who might not latch onto every detail that Rose said and twist it into something completely different. Whether that was by cluelessness, irony, or whatever cryptic nonsense came from Jade's poorly-hidden prescience. Rose kept talking. There was something in the story that would be a better distraction than the usual conversational approach.
"We had a job to do, and we did it." She raised a hand to her throat. "If we didn't, there would be consequences. They put collars on us, and if we tried to take them off or run away, they'd kill us." Lily hadn't exactly explained her experience with collars, but it was possibly similar. "Could we be on your planet?"
Any relief Rose's presence had brought to Lily went glassy and cold at her words. A collar? It wasn't possible. Not now, not after Rose had a life before such a thing, not after she'd had freedom. For the time being, Lily's fears of revealing her true nature vanished and she jumped up, nearly upsetting the bowl of pink ooze.
"Let me see," she insisted, moving toward Rose. "Turn around. It's not just the collar, it's..."
It was...a spine, at its simplest, and and an artificial spine would leave a visible scar to identify, but it was the idea of the voice that terrified Lily, that Rose could hear something like that, feel something like that, that someone could make her...make her...
Lily wouldn't let that happen. She couldn't. But her hands shook as her fists tightened in powerlessness and she forced her fingers to uncurl. One hand raised to her neck, fingers tight around the thin cord and tugging a bit too hard. "What did they make you do?" she asked quietly. "It's okay if you can't tell me." From her gentle tone, it was obvious that Lily wasn't expecting military secrets.
She'd expected Lily's reaction to be dramatic, although kindness had been second on the list of possibilities. It seemed fear for someone else was a greater motivator than fear for herself, or even fear of herself, both of which she'd already demonstrated. In this case, allaying her fears was a simple task.
They hadn't seen fit to equip her with a hairband, so Rose lifted her hair off her neck with her hands, and turned around. Her neck was exactly the same as it had always been; smooth and bare.
"They asked us to kill someone." Threatened, blackmailed, coercively cajoled, whatever one wanted to call it. They hadn't had a good choice, but there had been one. "His name was Giuseppe, and he was supplying parts to Marc. The guy on the radio."
"No," Lily said, audibly relieved. No scar, no surgery, only the same unblemished skin that, on others, had made her feel so alone in the showers. This time, however, the sense of shame didn't even cross the threshold of consciousness. "Where I'm from, it's..."
And once again, Lily was left with no way to explain herself or the things she'd experienced without losing Rose's friendship. Lily chewed her lip.
"There'd be a scar," she said after what felt like an uncomfortable pause. "If it was my world. You're okay."
Physically, at least. Safe from irresistible commands and fierce impulses. But she'd had to kill someone, and there was a good chance it was her first. Lily didn't remember her own; it had happened during the darkness. The first darkness, moments after the first light. All she remembered was waking into a world that had changed from white to red, red on her hands, her mouth filled with the taste of metal. Beasts, now corpses. Human limbs strewn across the floor, young voices screaming and whimpering. All she'd been able to do was cling to the only other child still standing, her body shivering in terror.
Lily wouldn't expect a reaction like that from Rose, who, in personality, more closely resembled the other child. Instead, she chose the words that she should have used then, if she'd ever known how to be the strong one.
"It's okay to be upset," she said. Nothing else. The scariest thing, Lily thought, was when part of you wasn't upset at all.
Lily sat on her bed, picking up her spoon and poking the gruel, though not actually eating any. It kept her busy. The statement didn't require a reply, and she didn't want Rose to think that she expected one. It was probably just as easy to lose friends by being nosy as it was to ignore them altogether.
ack sorry I forgot I owed this onelovecraftySeptember 17 2011, 01:57:50 UTC
"Yes. But I'm not upset. It's okay if you are." Psychological deflection. Avoid a painful topic by placing the expectation of the emotional state on the other person. As mental gambits went, it was a beginner's move.
Lily had probably been sincere, though, which made the sequence of followup moves entirely theoretical.
"I'll introduce you to Ilia. She was with me last night. She's...sweet." At least for a grumpy, grown-up soldier who didn't hesitate to snap a man's neck. Rose still wasn't sure she agreed that they'd gotten as much information from Giuseppe as they could have, but the die was cast.
Of course, that didn't keep her from an enthusiastic greeting. Rose seemed okay. She resisted the impulse to grab the girl in a hug, though. It seemed like most people didn't like that. "I'm so glad you're okay!" Lily said as she sat down on the bed, her smile broad and genuine. "I mean, I know you said you were okay this morning, but still, I was afraid maybe something happened and you just didn't...I don't know. But you are, right? Okay, I mean."
Even under the best of circumstances, Lily wasn't the most eloquent person, and the urgency of her question only exaggerated her verbal clumsiness.
Reply
It was less fun talking to someone who might not latch onto every detail that Rose said and twist it into something completely different. Whether that was by cluelessness, irony, or whatever cryptic nonsense came from Jade's poorly-hidden prescience. Rose kept talking. There was something in the story that would be a better distraction than the usual conversational approach.
"We had a job to do, and we did it." She raised a hand to her throat. "If we didn't, there would be consequences. They put collars on us, and if we tried to take them off or run away, they'd kill us." Lily hadn't exactly explained her experience with collars, but it was possibly similar. "Could we be on your planet?"
Reply
"Let me see," she insisted, moving toward Rose. "Turn around. It's not just the collar, it's..."
It was...a spine, at its simplest, and and an artificial spine would leave a visible scar to identify, but it was the idea of the voice that terrified Lily, that Rose could hear something like that, feel something like that, that someone could make her...make her...
Lily wouldn't let that happen. She couldn't. But her hands shook as her fists tightened in powerlessness and she forced her fingers to uncurl. One hand raised to her neck, fingers tight around the thin cord and tugging a bit too hard. "What did they make you do?" she asked quietly. "It's okay if you can't tell me." From her gentle tone, it was obvious that Lily wasn't expecting military secrets.
Reply
They hadn't seen fit to equip her with a hairband, so Rose lifted her hair off her neck with her hands, and turned around. Her neck was exactly the same as it had always been; smooth and bare.
"They asked us to kill someone." Threatened, blackmailed, coercively cajoled, whatever one wanted to call it. They hadn't had a good choice, but there had been one. "His name was Giuseppe, and he was supplying parts to Marc. The guy on the radio."
Reply
And once again, Lily was left with no way to explain herself or the things she'd experienced without losing Rose's friendship. Lily chewed her lip.
"There'd be a scar," she said after what felt like an uncomfortable pause. "If it was my world. You're okay."
Physically, at least. Safe from irresistible commands and fierce impulses. But she'd had to kill someone, and there was a good chance it was her first. Lily didn't remember her own; it had happened during the darkness. The first darkness, moments after the first light. All she remembered was waking into a world that had changed from white to red, red on her hands, her mouth filled with the taste of metal. Beasts, now corpses. Human limbs strewn across the floor, young voices screaming and whimpering. All she'd been able to do was cling to the only other child still standing, her body shivering in terror.
Lily wouldn't expect a reaction like that from Rose, who, in personality, more closely resembled the other child. Instead, she chose the words that she should have used then, if she'd ever known how to be the strong one.
"It's okay to be upset," she said. Nothing else. The scariest thing, Lily thought, was when part of you wasn't upset at all.
Lily sat on her bed, picking up her spoon and poking the gruel, though not actually eating any. It kept her busy. The statement didn't require a reply, and she didn't want Rose to think that she expected one. It was probably just as easy to lose friends by being nosy as it was to ignore them altogether.
Reply
Lily had probably been sincere, though, which made the sequence of followup moves entirely theoretical.
"I'll introduce you to Ilia. She was with me last night. She's...sweet." At least for a grumpy, grown-up soldier who didn't hesitate to snap a man's neck. Rose still wasn't sure she agreed that they'd gotten as much information from Giuseppe as they could have, but the die was cast.
Reply
Leave a comment