Day 58: Lunch

[full_score]

Although it had been good to see his mom again, Claude entered the cafeteria with a dark expression on his face. He was glad she felt comfortable enough with him to share her experiences from last night, but that didn't make him any less angry at the military for using her to do their dirty work. Why couldn't those bastards clean up their own

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[poorexample]

In the end, Michael hadn't had any reason to be nervous. He'd thought that the change he'd gone through would make things weird between him and Ren -- Reiko, but it seemed like she was just as easy to talk to sane or not. Here was one small relief in what had been a very hard day.

"I think that's what most people want, but some people are not as well as others." And some were very, very stubborn, like most of the people who he'd spoken to today. It was enough to give him a headache. He did remember that about his job; he'd always had headaches.

"But you have family, huh?" Of course she did. Reiko was young -- she had to have a mother and father looking out for her, and if not that, then siblings. "What are they like?"

After his talk with Noah, he would like to hear about someone who had a more ordinary family situation. Michael didn't know when things had broken down so much between him and his family, but it was kind of depressing. He'd rather listen to someone else talk rather than explain his own situation. And overall, it was nice to be talking about regular things rather than angels and monsters and conspiracy theories.

[yin_yang_fox]

The words came more easily to this version, it seemed. If not for the overriding feel of something else, the Digimon would believe this was just a normal human before her. Even the manner of speech had shifted. She angled her head to the side in a give. "No. Some are not. They've lost touch entirely with what's reality."

Who they are. And what they hold themselves to.

But the topic had shifted to something she would have to be careful on. What, then, would she name Rika as? Their bond was not so simple. They belonged to each other, knew every piece of the other, inside and out; each was precious, explicitly, more than any other. And what kind of human familial relation could be known by that name? "Just one. A sister." A fine enough compromise, she supposed. She glanced up at Castiel, something open despite then ruse. "Stubborn," she answered, with an edge of humor to the word. "Infinitely stubborn. She'll believe what she wants, and far be it from anyone to stop her. That's what's admirable about her, though," she concluding, smiling. "She doesn't give up on what she believes."

[poorexample]

A sister. It wasn't something he'd been ready for, even though he'd asked. Michael leaned back in his chair slightly, staring down at his food for a moment -- and yet he still didn't have it in him to keep eating. Not when a much better alternative was sitting right across the table from him and he wasn't allowed to have it. Not that that was Reiko's fault, of course...

No, it was no one's fault. Military though they might be, those in charge were trying to help, right?

"I have a brother," he said. "Actually, he's... here." That was probably going to imply a whole lot about himself and his family, but Michael wasn't interested in hiding from it. Admitting to their issues was probably the first step toward healing, and it only made sense for him to mention it now that they were on this topic. "I have an older sister too, but she seems to be holding up, at least." So he would guess. Michael almost wished that she would come visit, but at the same time he wasn't sure he'd want her to see him like this.

The description that Reiko gave of her sister reminded him of someone else, though. Except that Michael had to catch himself, because he didn't know any Dean Winchester. He barely knew Eric Derringer. That was all in his head, a person he'd made up because he'd never quite found someone like that in his actual life. Which was depressing, but that was the way reality was sometimes. It didn't mean he could hide away from it behind some delusion.

[yin_yang_fox]

Her mind shifted partially. Had Castiel spoken of a sibling? Did angels even have siblings? What would be the equivalent to that-- Ah, it was a question that she could not answer herself. And for that, would have to ask him when he--

...Was she being ignorant, assuming the angel would return to himself? When she knew there were many who hadn't. Renamon was taken aback by her shortsightedness, staring at Castiel. If anything else, she needed to at least stay on task. A part of her was shaking suddenly, somewhere inside, and she didn't know if it was from the realization, or the mention of Rika. Lost time. She didn't want to contemplate what the connections could be to that. She loses a night, and finds Castiel like this. What else had changed, while her awareness had laxed? She blinked with some effort, and hoped he would take the odd shift of expression as some kind of emotion turmoil.

"I'm deeply sorry that your brother is here," she said truthfully, head tipping. "I wouldn't wish it on anyone." She looked at him curiously, as if wanting to ask what had transpired in the past to lead them to this place, but said nothing. Instead she shifted the subject, perhaps to something simpler to speak of.

At least, the Digimon was hoping. "So is he still... under certain impressions?" That was simple enough to elude to. "Or is he getting better as well?"

[poorexample]

It seemed that something he'd said had affected her, but maybe it was just the thought of her own sibling being stuck in this place. It didn't seem like that was the case, at least, but he could see how even imagining it would be disturbing. Michael himself hadn't been ready to see Noah here, but he'd been forced to deal with it. And his brother was no more endearing without his mind than he was with it, as it turned out.

Her question was one that pulled a sigh out of him and eventually he forced himself to take another bite of his unpalatable food. "Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to be improving much yet." He didn't even want to make it clear how bad it was. That would just turn out to be embarrassing for him, since Noah was very deep into his delusions, which were very tied into his own.

"I'm going to try and help him get back to himself, but with Noah it's an uphill battle." He was stubborn, but in a completely different way from what Michael had imagined Dean Winchester to be like. In this case, it was just annoying.

[yin_yang_fox]

And it was almost perfect, how the conversation flowed towards the question she had wanted to ask. There was a twitch inside of her, an old dance she hadn't had to use for a long time. "It's all you can do, in the end. Support them, and help as much as you are able to."

Truth in all matters. There existed no lie in her words. No lie in the subtle curiosity she showed either, when she tilted her head to look at him. "How did you get back to yourself?" she wondered. "The last time I saw you we were discussing a demon. And that was only...." She trailed off, the only thing feigned. It had been three days ago exactly. And somehow, within that time, something had changed.

[poorexample]

Reiko's words were certainly meant to be a consolation, which meant that Michael nodded in response to them out of reflex. In the end, though, they weren't of much comfort to him. Noah was the sort of person who would fight to remain crazy just to be difficult, and Michael wasn't sure he had enough faith left to assume that it would all work itself out eventually. Still, abandoning his brother wasn't an option either. It never should have been.

The question Reiko asked next was one that Michael was surprised he hadn't heard yet today. It was the obvious thing to ask about, and yet he found that he didn't have a very useful answer. "... There's not much I can say," he replied after a moment. He hadn't wanted to be reminded of the girl he knew as Ruby and the way he'd treated her, but there was nothing to be done there. Not yet, at least. "I just woke up today and it was as if suddenly the clouds had parted. I knew who I was again." He glanced down at his plate of food and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not even sure if it'll last." He hoped it would, but he couldn't rely on much of anything these days.

[yin_yang_fox]

[sorry for the delay.]

It wasn't an answer that gave any details, but it remained as an answer. And much like the ones heard from that day. There likely wasn't much to gain from this, then. Losing consciousness as one person and waking up as another gave little in the way of explanation. She could push and prod for things further, but she lacked the heart to do it. Despite herself, this was affecting her more than she would have liked.

She wondered if Castiel would return. And if he would remember any of this at all. The Digimon looked up, expression bordering troubled. "I hope that you find yourself fully," she finally said, leaving the meaning to be found by itself. "There's nothing like being lost. If you need anything." She stopped, checked herself and leveled her expression. Her head tipped forward in acknowledgment. "Let me know. I'll do my best to assist you."

[poorexample]

Suffice to say that Reiko stood out from the rest, if only because she was actually trying to encourage him to get healthy rather than arguing. Michael was strangely touched by it, that someone so young and so confused about herself could still find it in her to offer support. He already realized that there wasn't much she could do -- this was something that he had to sort out for himself -- but it was heartwarming nonetheless.

"Don't worry yourself too much over me," Michael said with a shake of his head. "Just having someone to talk to is enough." Because she had actually listened, unlike the others. Eric and Matt were always too caught up in their own problems; Noah had just been stubborn.

Feeling much more at ease now, Michael wasn't even that bothered when the intercom came on. It was a shame that their talk had to end here, but at least it had come to a good finishing point; he was getting sick of being interrupted. "Take care of yourself, all right?" he said as he stiffly stood. He was going to have to check on her and get a better idea of where she was when it came to regaining her sanity. Today he'd made it all about him, which he felt guilty for. Still, there would be other chances.