Day 57: Sun Room

[bodhiandspirit]

It figured that night would end before Rita and Taura could progress any further. Rita wasn't particularly disappointed to wake up abruptly, as they had reached a dead end. Really, the institute was doing them a favor by bringing them back to the starting point, where they could regroup.

What she didn't appreciate was the loss of valuable time,

Comments

[falseblack]

Speak of grievances and he would offer many. Offer dramatics and he would speak not a word. Nigredo was not his brothers. His coping methods were an entirely different species, less ingrained in flares and tempers. An emphasis made a point previously in his life, and though he was beginning to understand the reasons for sharing his thoughts and feelings with those trusted, trust was a dying commodity in the institute. He couldn't walk up to just anyone and start listing his complaints without reservation. Everyone had their sensibilities, and everyone had their biases. It wasn't worth the effort. It was better to bury corpses and call it good.

Sadly, his current state of affairs made privacy a bit difficult. The boy could not get out of bed alone. His injured leg ended any voluntary movements the moment it began, and eventually, his steely giant of a military-now-pseudo-medical escort had to lift him from his bed and onto a wheelchair. It was primitive. It was embarrassing. It called for attention the moment they exited his room, and nothing in Nigredo required a reminder. He couldn't pretend to set the memory aside if he knew exactly what had put him in that chair.

At least he endeared neither of his "teammates" in the process.

Apart from complaints, Nigredo held no opinion of the new developments. The announcement was obviously a recording from a week ago while the uniform was half-expected. They were technically still a mental institution to this world's eyes; it would be wise to pose as one when visitors came into play. Which happened to be another bad element of the day so ultimately, the boy dismissed them with a proverbial shrug.

His "orderly" wheeled Nigredo into the Sun Room and left him at the corner where the shadows fell overhead. He frowned at the patches of sunlight nearby but stayed in place. There were ways to move in this chair, but his arms refused to follow through. Less pain seemed more important at the moment than a bit of pleasure. At any rate, he could use this moment to press a hand to his eye and attempt to drain all rage from him.

[Albedo and Ritsuka.]

[forgot_it_all]

When he woke up again, Ritsuka felt the uncomfortable absence of his ears and tail like always, but also felt a strange familiarity in his costume. Sitting up, he found himself clothed in gray again - the smiley face staring dead-eyed at the world before him as if nothing had ever changed. It was the uniform he had first woken up in and, as the intercom chimed on and an equally familiar voice began to speak, for a few moments Ritsuka thought that perhaps the Head Doctor had regained control and they would be going back to their old routine.

Then there was a burst of static and Ritsuka realized it was all a recording. Another lie to support the veneer of institutionalization that seemed to be important to keep up for some reason. Ritsuka sighed and slid out of bed, wondering if the visitors would be that stupid to believe all that, or if it was simply that they didn't care enough to see. After all, who believed the crazy when they spoke of military take-overs and nightmares coming to life? It was the perfect cover.

He headed to the Sun Room with his new guard (now dressed as an orderly) and as soon as he entered, his eyes fell on one person almost instantly. Ritsuka hadn't spoken to him much, but seeing Nigredo in a wheelchair was enough to rouse his sympathies and, even if the other boy might find it bothersome, he was drawn toward him. What had caused such a severe injury that he'd be left in such a state? And worse...what if it was his roommate like Albedo had feared? Was Nigredo really letting his roommate hurt him this badly?

When he drew close, Ritsuka tried not to frown more than he usually did and stopped a few feet away. "Nigredo....? What happened?"

[purpletaint]

Oh, morning, was it? How nice. He was looking forward to yet another tedious day before another random night. Of all of this, Albedo was getting bored. His actions taken were starting to reflect that, and it couldn't be helped. At the least, some should be glad he was amusing himself in other ways--rather than using his nice, new toys on a certain blond-haired fop. It was only a thought, after all.

The return to grey uniforms, the role-play the soldiers were putting on--none of it rang as interesting. He didn't pay attention enough to make a choice on location, and really, did it matter--either way, was just another conversation, another set of ideals and options, another mind to press against his or be beat down in succession. These were the thoughts that existed, vaguely, abstractly, shifting around in Albedo's mind before he walked through the sun room doors. And instantly, the boy's mind changed.

Of course, he had registered his sibling as nearby. But nothing more, and perhaps it was on Albedo then for not taking more note. No, instead his mind split, allowing notice of a random point before focusing on another. Ah, there was his brother. With Ritsuka. And for that brief moment, it could not be told if Albedo was wary beyond all else or took some comfort in the two he cared about being near to each other.

Then, as the saying went, the other shoe dropped.

There was a beat of two seconds where the boy stood wide-eyed. That existed until Albedo realized he had already starting moving, literally running to the pair's sides, to drop in a kneel next to the wheelchair Nigredo was in. His waveform prodded at Nigredo's, seeking, trying to find the extent of the damage. His hands gripped one of the armrests, clenching it fiercely. "Nigredo!"

His body shook without realizing, denying himself the realization of the fear he was feeling. Because he would not allow it (no, he would never say it)--because he would not allow it--

He would not let Nigredo come close to dying.

[falseblack]

Nigredo's methods for evoking calm were a tad unorthodox and usually involved closing his eyes long enough to feign rest. Sleep was a comfort, a love currently neglected due to recent events. If he pretended long enough, he could force himself into a neutral state. To something close to calm even as the boy could feel loss and offense nearby. Sunlight helped speed up the process, of course, but poor luck wouldn't have it. He had to make do.

Years of practice paid off, however. Eventually, all anger evaporated, leaving behind nothing in particular. In time, too, as a figure approached his chair, looking quite concerned despite the two having just met. Nigredo lifted his eyes to the other boy and smiled in cordial greeting. "Oh, hello, Ritsuka," he offered.

At the question, he hesitated, smile dropping. There was no doubt Albedo had let the little incident with Sync known to the boy. If Nigredo became careless and referenced the basement misadventure in any way, shape, or form, it would most certainly go back to his brother. This would not be allowed, especially given last night's agreement. He would likely return underground tonight with the merry group of traitors, and if Albedo knew...

"Monsters," Nigredo finally answered. His tone remained even. "I got a little careless; that's all. I'm fine, though. They put me in this because--" It hurt to walk. Only, this was never explained.

A sibling's waveform rose up within the link, and with it came the brother himself, looking more panicked than was the usual. Green eyes settled on the newcomer, with Nigredo appearing somewhat off-center. "Albedo?" For a moment, he couldn't place the albino's fear; he was, after all, very much alive and not in any danger of death. In fact, had taken great pains to survive the night. It was not until the youngest remembered the wheelchair that he understood the reasoning. This probably didn't look good to anyone, even as Albedo gathered the basic facts of the injuries.

He glanced between the pair, trying to place reassurance with both. "I'm okay. It's nothing to worry about." Please believe him.

[forgot_it_all]

Monsters? Ritsuka wasn't sure if that was true, but it seemed true enough and he didn't know Nigredo well enough to know if he would lie. And why would he? He'd been tired and that was it. He was acting much like he had before - neutral, subdued, docile. He and Albedo were so different, Ritsuka realized. And with that realization, Ritsuka smiled faintly. He was halfway through a nod when someone was barging past, causing Ritsuka to jump back in surprise.

Familiar white hair and a familiar voice to go with it - raised in panic.

"Nigredo!"

Albedo collapsed by his brother's side, clutching the wheelchair like it was a lifeline to keeping his brother safe and with him. Was this how brothers acted then? How they were supposed to act? Ritsuka only had a few memories of his brother and how they acted wasn't like this. He stood off to the side, watching, wondering if this was how he should have acted with Seimei. If he had, would Seimei have...

Nigredo looked to him and Ritsuka couldn't bring himself to smile even though he knew he should. Instead, he looked down to Albedo. Would his friend get angry for interfering? "It was monsters, but he's alright, Albedo." Repeat what was said to him. Easy enough. Reassure the one in a panic and get him to calm down. That's what was important. Ritsuka glanced back to Nigredo, frowning faintly. "...But you can't really blame him for worrying. You're brothers. That's normal, right?"

[purpletaint]

There was little response until Albedo had been assured of Nigredo's condition. His waveform pressed into the other, taking those facts. Two cuts, deeper than just an accident, and a worse one lower down. Eyes unfocused, he reached out delicately, fingertips gracing the front of Nigredo's shin as if he could examine through touch. Still, both were correct, weren't they? These were injuries that would be fine in time. No internal injuries. No lasting damage.

His focus on Nigredo slipped and shuddered, at his name, he glanced back to Ritsuka, the look helpless, as he moved to lay his head on the armrest his hands were on. Energy drained out of him. He had panicked, with good reason, and now... He didn't even know what to do. {Monsters?} was the tired sending. Nigredo had been in the basement. And the only beast seen there was the sphinx.

Perhaps that would have been all in reactions. But Ritsuka kept speaking, and the words were a comfort in abstracts--for once someone defending Albedo's actions towards his own. That coupled with the irony of the phrasing ("That's normal, right?") made him smile, the expression lacking. Without anything said in reply to either, the older URTV started silently crying.

There was nothing wrong. Was that it? Despite everything being wretched, there was nothing wrong. So why, then, did Albedo feel so much in pain?

[falseblack]

Could he blame him for worrying? If Albedo had offered the question, Nigredo might have denied the need. The boy was fine--slashed, perhaps, but whole. The constant concern had yet to step beyond the unreal, and thus, it still rang as a discomfort in the crevices of the younger's mind. A second individual, on the other hand, brought objectivity to the inquiry. Could Albedo be blamed?

His gaze drifted to the floor, to focus entirely on the boy at the armrest of his wheelchair. He finally spoke to Ritsuka, voice a murmur. "Yeah. That's right," he agreed. They were brothers. That existed as normal. Right.

A moment passed, and Nigredo lifted his left hand to slide through white hair in an attempt to comfort. It probably wasn't wanted in light of yesterday afternoon, but what else did he have? "I'm sorry for making you worry," he said as the mental space piqued with a delayed answer to the silent question. {Monsters are what they call us.} To be followed by disjointed images and equally broken words:

Standards. U-DO. Tainted.

{I'll explain when we're both alone,} he sent, before falling into a strange sort of quiet.

[forgot_it_all]

Normal was such a subjective term and as Albedo began to cry, Ritsuka began to regret his choice of words. Maybe it wasn't as normal as he thought, or maybe this was normal for them, but Ritsuka had no idea how to comfort his friend. Worse than that, however, he knew it wasn't his place. Albedo and Nigredo both had each other and that seemed to be doing enough for them. Nigredo pet his brother's hair and apologized to him, then both of them fell quiet.

Somehow, Ritsuka felt like perhaps he was intruding on something that should have been left private. And he also felt...jealous? Was that what this feeling was? It wasn't a feeling of jealousy toward Nigredo and Albedo specifically, but at the bond they shared. His had been broken and seeing two brothers together, so close in age and so close in spirit, it was almost painful. He and Seimei had been like that once, but then Seimei had died and Ritsuka had begun to realize that the Seimei in his memories wasn't the same as the Seimei everyone else remembered.

What if my memories are fake?

The thought plagued him more and more as time went on, especially at moments like these when he saw how brothers acted toward one another and remembered that he'd been left behind. Twice. What if the Seimei I knew is a fake? Ritsuka felt like leaving, but he forced himself to stay and dropped his gaze to Albedo. "...It'll be alright. Nigredo's safe."

[purpletaint]

Call reactions, and he would have thought none in the end. Still, here life would contrive to surprise yet again. His brother touched him, and Albedo shuddered once, pressing into the palm. Here, let us state it again; for contact would always be a comfort, and touch a reassurance, from those adored most of all. With that was given calm, contentedness--not enough to shift a mind already loose, but enough to halt a process in motion. The act was foreign enough that Albedo stopped crying instantly, surprised that his brother would touch him without Albedo's own prompting.

Of the words sent, he gave no reaction, continued to stare at the arm rest and floor. Yes. That was what the Standards had referred to the three Variants as. Though, to be honest, they focused on Rubedo, and how apt, wasn't it, in ways Albedo would not consider--but here it was, Nigredo said it and it gave as true. He gave a tired acquiesce and sent nothing more.

Ritsuka spoke once more, and Albedo's eyes raised to him. Leaning against Nigredo's wheelchair, the hand that had been lightly touching now wrapped around Nigredo's leg, Albedo extended a hand out to the other, the message clear. Ritsuka was something Albedo took comfort in as well as Nigredo, and by that expression, there was something in Ritsuka that needed comfort as well. Nigredo did not know Ritsuka, but if he did, it was possible he would like him. That existed as wanted. The two were important, and Albedo... Did not want to lose anyone else.

This had become something crystallized in his mind, where none but two had previously resided. He did not want to lose anyone else--be it to death or disappearance. He could not even rely on Yomi and her regeneration if there was a threat she would fade away. No. In all truth, the facts present were as they always had been. Any could leave him, at any time, and here was clarity: Still, by any means, Albedo could end up alone.

[falseblack]

Albedo appeared solidified--calmer, at least--and it was enough to draw Nigredo's hand away. The open affection from him was strange, yes. Out of character, especially in the presence of a third party. As previously considered, the gesture was likely invasive in the context of that day, and in truth, the child was nervous. The hand returned to his lap, and he once again looked up to Ritsuka.

Here, he noted a strange contrast. The other boy resembled one disconnected, and although the chances of misreading a person were great, Nigredo knew the countenance well enough to understand. Had existed as such long enough to perhaps comment on with little reservation. Before he could ask if anything was wrong, however, his brother had reached out a hand to Ritsuka, making for a very strange picture in the variant's perspective. This was honestly the first he had seen Albedo show affection for someone not family; a part of him wondered if such a thing was possible. Yet, here it was.

Ritsuka, however, was not Nigredo's friend. Since Albedo had called to what seemed hidden, the younger took up what was polite. "How have you been doing, Ritsuka?" he asked, almost lamely.

[forgot_it_all]

This was how brothers acted. They comforted each other, supported one another, calmed each other when one was crying. Seimei had done that, even if Ritsuka had never cried in front of him. He'd protected and that was all Ritsuka could ask for. After all, when they'd met again after Ritsuka woke up in the hospital, everything had been new. How did you simply forgive forgetting ten years? And yet Seimei had done that.

But the Seimei I know isn't the same as the one everyone else knows...

Albedo and Nigredo understood each other far better than Ritsuka understood Seimei, but even Ritsuka knew they were keeping secrets from each other. Was that what brothers did, too? Did they keep secrets in order to protect? Maybe that was why he didn't know the other side of Seimei, the one that had called Soubi away and forgotten Ritsuka existed.

As he watched the brothers console one another, Albedo turned and offered his hand and then Nigredo turned toward him as well, asking after him. He didn't know why, but he hesitated. It still felt like an intrusion, even if Albedo was reaching for him. And the question, he couldn't answer - not truthfully at least, which meant he didn't know how to answer. Instead, he took a step forward and raised his hand, brushing his fingers against Albedo's.

"...Alright." He was managing. Even without Soubi or Seimei here, without Kio or anyone else he'd begun to rely on, he was here. He was still here and still reaching out to people. "I'm sorry you got hurt. The Institute is really terrible at night."

[purpletaint]

As expected, Nigredo did not continue, and a part of Albedo longed for him to. His hand tightened on his brother's leg, and he tipped his head against the chair. As if to accent Albedo's action, Nigredo spoke, and for the first time, Albedo wondered how they appeared, Nigredo and he, to others viewing the two together. As once stated, physically they were monochromatic counterparts to each other--otherwise their actions differed severely. Their essences existed similar, however, and was that able to be seen through the ways in which they interacted? Albedo could not know, and in the moment before him, he would not ask.

Ritsuka stepped forward to accept him, and that was enough. Albedo's fingers wrapped around his gently, pulling him a little closer. He doubted the boy's answer, given with hesitation and no details, but in the same way that he would not question Nigredo before others, he would not do it to Ritsuka. The only loss in this was that Albedo could not silently inquire as he could of his brother. Instead, he tipped his head, expression falling back to something close to normal and a bit questioning. However, as decided, he asked nothing of the sort aloud.

Instead he quietly wondered--something that could pass for small talk from another source. "What did you do last night, then?"

[falseblack]

Behind the response lay something more, but Nigredo was in no position to pry. Others were more equipped to handle such sentiments, and though the child wished for a slightly more genuine answer, he could only maneuver through what was given. Instead, he watched his brother and his friend hold hands for a few beats, before commenting on the follow-up.

"It's okay," Nigredo said lightly. "I survived the night. Getting hurt isn't so terrible with that in mind." Better than the loss of life, at least. And that was what counted, no?

Albedo brought up his own question, and not wanting to interrupt, the black-haired variant opted for silence. He gathered his hands together on his lap, ignoring the pressure against his leg, and waited for the other boy to speak.

[forgot_it_all]

Ritsuka had to wonder if surviving was the best they could do. Albedo could fight and likely Nigredo could as well - or so Ritsuka assumed. Maybe he couldn't and that's why he was in a chair like this today. It would explain Albedo's fear at seeing him like this, too. If his brother wasn't willing to protect himself through violence, then maybe he and Ritsuka had more in common than he thought.

"Doesn't make it any less bad," he said, shaking his head. He lowered his gaze and caught Albedo looking at him curiously, to which he answered with a somewhat rushed smile. This he could answer without lying. "Uh... nothing much! Just tried to help my new roommate around."

Nothing much indeed. His roommate was just a little bit off-balanced, but not in the bad way. He had an unaffected air about him, and other than his foul language, he was actually an okay person. It was shocking, to be honest, and while Ritsuka wasn't certain if he wanted to get close to him yet, it was reassuring that he wasn't bad like some roommates. Like Nigredo's roommate. "Um...I guess asking what you two did would be a bad idea all things considered..."

[purpletaint]

Nigredo's word usage was horrible, and Albedo wondered if his brother did it on purpose. "I survived the night. Getting hurt isn't so terrible with that in mind." Albedo's eyes darted away from Ritsuka to cast a light glare onto his brother. Really, darling dear? That word use was a little light, now wasn't it? Ritsuka replied to that extent, and Albedo followed suit, ending the sentence, "No. It doesn't."

His focus separated and slid, unused to focusing on two individuals at once. Ritsuka still seemed as if there was something else behind his words, but Albedo let it go. As he did with Nigredo, detaching from his brother and pulling his knees to his chest, wrapping an arm around them. There was something petulant in his mannerisms, mixed with some hurt, but Albedo spoke nothing on it, merely sighed and responded carelessly. "Collected a gun and knives, and then existed as bait to a collection of monsters."

Monsters. Tch. Too much like the URTV themselves. The boy was far too self-involved to realize that both parts of his sentence would likely upset both of his companions, be it for different reasons.

[falseblack]

Neither would know the circumstances behind the words. Their answers, therefore, were to be expected. How could anyone agree with him otherwise? When offered a choice between death and life, he had chosen what he had hoped to discard. The fact of doing opposite meant a great deal to Nigredo. When the choice wasn't apparent, however, being injured probably appeared as faulty. Ah, well. He was not looking for understanding in this topic. Wordlessly, the boy blinked up at Ritsuka while averting his eyes from Albedo's glare.

The acquaintance spoke of his roommate, and Nigredo had to exercise self-control not to declare irony. A part of him also proved slightly curious at the prospect of an amicable roommate. It was beyond him to picture someone not backstabbing him in his sleep when it came to those who shared the same space. He sighed, somewhat satisfied with Ritsuka's answer. Anything more was none of his business.

Unfortunately, his brother had to respond in a way that grabbed attention. Nigredo threw a look at Albedo, uncertain if he'd heard correctly or had a particularly cynical imagination. "You what?"