Day 56: Bus 3
Waking carried a sense of disappointment along with it for the first time in a long time. Klavier actually sighed in irritation when he realized where he was. Damn it all. So they hadn't managed to move quickly enough to cover as much ground as they had hoped. It was a shame, really. Last night had actually proven to be relatively productive. If
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Either way, he wasn't going to be deterred quite so easily with stupid, obvious provocations like that. Klavier wanted answers. And he would continue pressing for details until he'd gotten them. Albedo was being deliberately irritating now, though. If he kept asking about Nigredo's well being and repeating questions, Albedo would simply laugh and stay quiet. He may have to think of an alternate approach.
...It wasn't just him being a brat. It couldn't be. Albedo was holding something back. He knew because it didn't make sense. Albedo's injury didn't exactly mesh with the idea of assaulting Nigredo. Had he been hurt elsewhere, maybe he'd latch onto that more easily. But there was definitely a story here. Klavier ran through Albedo's words again. He himself was adept at using omission and double meanings, so he could recognize the distinct lack of specific detail. He could venture some guesses based on what was said, but they were baseless and proved nothing without confirmation.
"Hmph." He tilted his head a little, still thoroughly unamused. Let's try pushing a little then. "What's this? Don't feel like sharing all of a sudden? It must be a little more complicated than you're making it seem. ...Or else you just don't like telling stories you can't gloat about." His eyes notably moved down to the kid's injured leg for a second with that last part.
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His lips split, the boy grinning broadly. Instead of answering anything Albedo had asked, Klavier had chosen this route. It was far easier to play this way, though it lacked an interesting edge. Albedo would have preferred learning what torments the man would have poured out on his body. But here--Albedo would play. He knew the steps as well as any. He shrugged, teeth shining in the dull sunlight. "Maybe you're right!~" he said with exclamation.
"Maybe--" He leaned closer as if relating a secret. "Maybe Nigredo bested me, hmm? We're both such delightful weapons, after all. And my brother possesses a gun. He could have defended himself in such an excellent manner."
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Of course, he preferred it if he just didn't encounter Albedo ever again. He'd prefer it even more if Albedo refrained from harassing anyone else in the meantime, Nigredo especially. But the boy was truly proving to be a problem. The more time that passed, the more Klavier saw he was going to have to think of a way to deal with him. Even if most of the people in this place were criminals, no one deserved the cruel and unusual punishment of being exposed to this child.
But even with this firm resolve, he did have to fight the instinct to pull away when Albedo leaned closer. Doing that would be like throwing bloody meat into a shark tank. So he didn't move and simply maintained eye contact, though he did nothing to hide the distaste for what was being said. He was avoiding a straight answer again. And he was calling both of them weapons again. And... a gun.
Some surprise broke through at the claim. A gun. Just where was it people were finding guns in this place? And how had Nigredo wound up with one? The thought of the boy resorting to using something like that here was... heartbreaking. Would he and could he use it? Was Albedo actually implying Nigredo had shot him? ... The thing was Klavier could actually see that happening. If Nigredo possessed a gun and knew how to use it... if it had been in hand when Albedo attacked him... there might be a chance Nigredo might use it to defend himself. But so as to not actually kill his brother, he'd aim somewhere harmless. Like the leg. He could picture that, yes. And he could imagine the kind of anguish that must have been involved in choosing open fire on one's own kin.
And yet... Albedo smiled. And he referred to them, to Nigredo, as less than human. How disgusting.
"Maybe," he mimicked, looking annoyed. "Or 'maybe' you shouldn't refer to yourself and Nigredo that way. 'Maybe' you should focus on actually treating Nigredo like a person and acting decently toward him. 'Maybe' you should just think about your own actions and how they affect those around you for one blasted second. And 'maybe' -- " something indiscernible flickered behind his eyes for just a second " -- if you stopping thinking of yourself in that manner you'd do something better with your time other than attacking people!"
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Mm, ah, but the moment passed. Here again was what Albedo had eluded to the night before, here was Klavier denying their existence. "Nigredo is mine to treat as I deem correct. You have no holding on our interactions whatsoever. I'd advise you to stay out of it." That said, he went on, expression adding a layer of severity. "And we've been over this. He and I, and Rubedo, we aren't human. Think what you will on mind and soul, but physically we are created weapons. I won't withhold a fact because you're uncomfortable with it. You're a grown man. Act like it."
He leaned back in the seat, leg sliding down to hit the floor. "And points and facts aside, do you really think I care how I affect others? None have any meaning besides a select few." He rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes, that makes me a monster, sociopath, pick your term, but it's factual all the same." Albedo watched the man, expression still. "I won't waste my time."
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Before he could even stop himself, he'd whirled himself to face toward Albedo completely, looking almost like he was ready to punch the kid. That was really the last straw. Klavier already had little to no patience when it came to this child, but to hear him say something monstrous like that. Nigredo was "his?" His to treat however he wanted? They weren't talking about a damn dog here! This was a person, a kid, this idiot's little brother!! A kid who Klavier had seen cry several times, more times than he ever should have, because of his siblings. A kid who only a few days ago was upset and telling Klavier how his brothers didn't even want him around. How he didn't even think he had brothers anymore. And who could blame him for feeling like that? This one had tried to bash his head in with a rock and attacked him several times. Rubedo had done something unforgivable to those Nigredo cherished. ...The poor child had been shattered apart over and over, again and again by his siblings. It was a wonder he could even hold himself together.
And Albedo... Didn't. Even. Care.
"Sorry, but it doesn't work that way!" He was through with the barely boiled down irritation. Albedo was DEAD WRONG in every possible way! "He's your brother! He's not there to 'entertain' you! He isn't 'yours' to play with and you have no right to treat him that way!! I don't care what you think you were made for! If you can't understand that, if you can't treat him that way, if you don't care about him at all, then you need to back off and leave him alone!!" He was so positively furious, he hadn't even cared that he'd been yelling up to this point. But now that he realized it he bit it back enough to continue in a quieter but no less furious volume. "You're the one who needs to stay out of it. If you can't care about him or anyone else, then you have no right to meddle in people's affairs and ruin their lives. You can't treat people however you like! And if you think I'm going to just sit by and watch you tear him apart..."
Some part of him wished he'd shut up already. Some part of him still wanted to stop and talk this through rationally, try to explain. But he couldn't go into depth regarding that stupid "weapon" claim since he had promised Nigredo not to discuss it. He could only really use whatever Albedo volunteered forth himself. But he knew that stupid mess was wrong. These kids had been cloned for a purpose. Not "born," but "made." They'd been taught to view themselves and each other as objects because of it. Trained like soldiers and called themselves weapons. It was a sickening thought. Even more sickening that they really believed it and took it literally. Albedo didn't understand... He didn't understand how their very actions and words completely contradicted that thinking. Because if that were really true that that was all they were... A weapon and a monster wouldn't show concern. Wouldn't get upset or feel betrayed, or betray in turn. Wouldn't care about being turned away or having their sibling's support.
Wouldn't be capable of having its heart broken.
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"Vollidiot."
The word came suddenly, and with the dead weight of fact behind it. The expression kept for a moment, then lightened the barest degree, Albedo watching the other flatly. "If you're going to hate me, hate me for what I say and do, not the conclusions that you draw yourself. When," The word was sharp, hissed--emotions too potent in the solitary syllable. "Did I say that Nigredo is there to entertain me? When did I say he is mine to play with? Answer me that, Klavier! When did I say I didn't care about him?!"
The boy took in a breath, small chest rising and falling, visibly shifted by the other's words. "Listen to me carefully." He blinked once, the only time his gaze broke during this time. "This is the last time I'll warn you by words.
"Do not think that you understand us. Do not think that it's as simple as you think it appears. Do not. Think. That you can come between us." Again, he blinked, something vaguely human returning to his mien. "And don't think that you understand how I feel about my brother. You don't. Not at all. I would never abandon him."
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But when that silence settled after he'd finished yelling, after the anger started fizzling away and he had time to focus on the look that had come across the child's face... he suddenly became vastly aware of the fact that he was... really wrong about not being afraid of him. The rage on his face faded and he simply stared back, his entire body freezing in place right there. There was a tight dread clenching over his chest, but for the life of him, he didn't dare break eye contact or even move at all. Because that look... It was the same sort of look he'd had on his face that night Klavier had had to carry a blood-soaked Rubedo out of the Sun Room. A look that didn't belong on any child's face. Like an animal about to rip something apart.
That might have been why when the silence was finally broken, it just felt like that much more of a slap to the face. Or maybe it was simply because the use of German made the insult feel that much more personal (he hadn’t realized this kid even knew any German). Either way, Klavier was left staring in wide eyed shock as Albedo spoke, every word seeming several times harsher with that look behind it. He actually was stricken speechless.
For a few moments, he honestly entertained the thought that maybe there was a chance that he was wrong. Not so much because he felt his assessment was wrong but simply due to the anger Albedo was displaying right then. After all, weren’t people more sincere when they were truly, honestly angry? Didn’t confessions come quickest when limits were pushed and people became upset? That was what he had learned over the years, and here, too, it held true. It was really difficult to read a display like this as anything but completely honest. And really, it was true that he hadn’t phrased it in that exact way, yes. So Klavier couldn’t answer him.
But as far as Klavier was concerned, the things one didn’t say was just as, if not more, important than what actually was. Albedo may not have specifically said anything about not caring, but he’d never stated he did care either. And hadn’t he just referred to Nigredo as a possession? Hadn’t he said he’d treat him however he wanted? Klavier… would never dare say anything disrespectful like that with regards to his own brother. No matter what he may have done or what his feelings toward him might be. (…Was that why he felt so offended by their situation? Was he actually reading something a bit more personal between the lines of what they said regarding each other?)
No, Klavier couldn’t say he felt like he was wrong. Nor could he say he felt like he was entirely right either. There were far too many contradictions here for him to understand the truth of the matter. He felt like he didn’t have enough information. Now it was simply a matter of whether he really had the stomach to continue digging. …Oh please. What kind of stupid question was that? Of course he’d keep digging. Because as scared as he honestly was right then and there, the idea of leaving this be, of apologizing, or letting Albedo run off and act as he had been under the assumption that he was actually right? That was… unacceptable.
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“No…” He was a lot quieter now, still trying to sound firm, but the ferocity was gone. “You can’t say that. You can’t say you’d never abandon him. Not when you’ve attacked him before.” He swallowed and tried to frown, tried to bite back the instincts that were screaming at him and continue speaking. “You’ve said before that you wouldn’t hurt, and since then, you’ve attacked both of them. You were even proud to tell me about the incident with Nigredo. …Now you expect me to believe a claim like that?” Truthfully, he kind of wanted to. He wanted to believe even a little monster like Albedo was capable of loving his brothers. But it had already been disproven so many times. …And it was hard to have faith in someone when you were trying really hard not to back away from them. “You already betrayed him. Do you understand me? That isn’t a ‘conclusion.’ That’s a fact. So what makes you think... you can even say that?”
And don’t assume… I don’t understand anything about the two of you.
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Like a dog ill-trained, Klavier would make a mess of things time and time again. Albedo would do well to put more care into his efforts. Or do both a favor and detach Klavier's existence from this disgusting conglomerate of a world. A reality too entranced with its inadequacies, too in love with its own faults to realize the worthlessness of its own meaning. Meaning?! It was faulty to even consider meaning. In this, there was nothing but things lacking.
Nothing but a drone of another drilling into his skull to rattle things that had quieted to life.
As if Albedo could think of it. As if there was anything but.
Oh, but word use. It had killed others time and time again, and here would likely be no different. Klavier had repeated abandon; the man had said betray. And what would always come to mind with those words, what would always be pushed forward with such startling clarity every time? It began with red and ended with black, and even as Albedo had begun to move on, it peaked with emotions, made worse by this creature's trampling. Klavier would speak of betrayal?! As if he knew it, felt it, other than by his own hand. Here, was what Albedo could not allow: here was a twin's tearing, then grinding his heel into the remains. Speak of betrayal? Albedo had tasted it, knew the scent as much as any other. He had betrayed them, he had wanted to kill them, but neither were innocents.
Neither could not claim blood on their hands. Of the three, was it not Albedo who was the most innocent?! And wouldn't that continue to be the most delicious of ironies. That handfuls of lives stained either brother, black and red, and white remained pure.
How he hated it!
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He stared forward, humanity again bleached out as if it had never thought to return. "Do you want to banter about methods of betrayal? You, I, and Nigredo all have that guilt, thick and choking. Rubedo is the living incarnation of it, and you the follower in his footsteps. Nigredo and I--our violations are petty, and if you ask him, he'll speak the same."
His fingers tightened, muscles in his hand squeezing the small bones in Klavier's wrist together, grinding the joint to point of pain. "It's not that simple." His face darkened with anger finally, deep and potent, his eyes flashing violet. "I would never leave him. I will never abandon him."
Albedo leaned forward, malice adding a treatise to his words. "Do not insinuate that again."
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But Albedo didn't attack, didn't do anything to rip apart the stitches in his hand. Instead, he spoke again. Threatening, horrible... and with a look that had somehow become even more severe. Albedo was furious, apparently. And although he wasn’t specifically doing anything yet, the threat was plenty obvious. But… what he was saying… it was so absolutely frustrating.
What the hell... was the matter with this kid?! "Warned him?" He thought that warning was about "getting between them" not about speaking. So now if Klavier did anything other than smile and nod and act like everything Albedo was saying was absolutely correct, he was going to attack him? If he dared disagree with him and didn't just blindly accept everything coming out of the child's mouth, despite all contradictions, this was somehow considered stepping over some kind of line and justified an assault? It was completely ridiculous! Just like when that “game” they’d played had gotten out of hand, Albedo was being completely unreasonable. He was determined to dictate things into something entirely one-sided rather than on equal footing. This wasn't a discussion or an argument. He wouldn't hear any opposing views or answer questions. Evidently, he wasn’t even allowed to ASK said questions even though they were entirely reasonable given the situation. Albedo hadn’t addressed the issue at all… in fact, he didn’t really answer anything over the course of this entire discussion!
The only thing Albedo had really said just now that was even slightly of substance was only something he was inferring from the boy’s words. That being that apparently Klavier was being nitpicky regarding the definition of betrayals and that all four of them were guilty of it to some degree, so this somehow made it completely alright that he’d tried to shatter his brother’s skull. That was exactly the same as all other forms of betrayal and DARING to ask about it was UTTERLY ridiculous, evidently. Bitterness aside though, the fact that Albedo would actually dare compare Klavier to himself was just…
The hand gripping his wrist got tighter and tighter as the boy spoke. It hurt. It hurt a lot. Far more than anyone would think coming from a prepubescent child. He already knew Albedo was unnaturally strong for his age and size, but the force behind it was still surprising. But Klavier just frowned, wincing and biting back any kind of audible response with grit teeth. He... he really wasn't kidding around! At this point, if Klavier said anything Albedo was seriously ready to assault him right then and there on the bus. And with how fast he could move, it was very likely the man could end up dead before security even had a chance to try prying the kid away. And yes, everything about that look indicated that he was plenty willing to resort to murder by this point.
Klavier tensed, frozen in place. He didn’t respond nor did he make any noise regarding the pain in his wrist. He was almost afraid to. Afraid to speak, afraid to move, afraid to so much as break eye contact. The silence between them stretched and all Klavier could do was breathe and ready himself. Prepare himself to do something drastic if need be should Albedo make an entirely undesirable move despite the man's reluctant complacency. It wasn't like him to give up like this, to let something go. But under these circumstances... did he really have a choice?
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Klavier's hand was released and Albedo stared at his own as if it had been dipped in some radioactive muck. He shook, then pressed it against his pants, as if to wipe off residue, sliding across the bench to the edge in the same motion. He stared out across the aisle, something like bile but tasting of blood rising in his throat. He was going to be sick. He wanted to rip Klavier's throat out, so the man could gurgle his arguments softly. He'd rather tear out Klavier's eyes and force them down the man's own throat, see no evil, and speak none of it to me.
"A distraction," he forced out roughly, voice strangely hoarse. "I was a distraction." Of the question of wounds, answered as if nothing had passed. Violet eyes slanted back to Klavier, the rest of Albedo's body remained turned away. "Because I wouldn't allow him to be close to a threat. And he could shoot with precision while it was preoccupied."
Of why he spoke, or the reasons, none were apparent. Possibly to either.
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That possibility vanished, however, when Albedo turned his head enough to peer back at him over his shoulder. Dear god, it really was like he was sulking. Like he was such a victim over here. But any animosity held between them would have to be put to the side if only for the briefest of moments.
It was those words. Those first two words finally uttered by the boy were enough of a surprise for it to openly show on the man's face. A distraction. Albedo had acted as a distraction for the sake of protecting Nigredo? For the sake of keeping some "thing" busy while Nigredo "shot" at it? That was how the boy had gotten injured?
On one hand, Klavier trusted Albedo about as much as he'd trust an arsonist with a lighter. The child was a liar and a manipulator. He couldn't really rely on the boy at all to be truthful. On the other hand... Klavier did trust certain factors of Albedo to remain constant. Had Albedo actually assaulted Nigredo, he wouldn't hesitate to say so. He wouldn't be the type to make up a story about it to escape blame. On the contrary, Albedo was normally more than happy to accept blame for his crimes and wholeheartedly confessed. So if he says otherwise... that's perhaps more trustworthy than not.
However, if what he was really saying was the case, then something didn't make sense here. Klavier continued to eye the boy warily, unsure. Asking for further details was apparently out of the question. So should he remain quiet or did he dare risk opening his mouth and pressing Albedo again regarding a single point?
...It was a short decision to mull over. Klavier had never been one to back down easily, after all. But he remained reserved as he carefully asked, "...If that's the case, why didn't you simply say so from the beginning?"
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He just wanted the bus to stop. And to be away from this one as quickly as possible. "And it's none of your business," he added with no real heat. "What we do. You have no holding on either of us."
So might as well play. Nothing else to do. Right?
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