"Tokyo-3," he recited. Not for the first time, he wished that there was a more accurate definition of home that he could offer. The source of his person was a laboratory, not far from the city, perhaps. But the memories were mostly emotionless. Devoid of opinion or desire beyond his natural inclinations.
He had changed since then. More than he could fully comprehend. Here, the call of Adam and Lilith was faint, and he suspected they didn't even exist at all. What he felt was only the ghost of what once defined his existence. He saw it himself, as well as Ayanami. Looking back at her, they reflected the destruction of the Lilim. But they were so small. They were harmless here. They were as the Lilim. There truly might not be any reason at all left why Shinji should fear them. When he called for Kaworu, it was so much stronger than any remaining impulse to return to Adam. His source. His origin. Himself.
After a moment, he recalled the concept of multiple realities. The city might mean nothing to Stefan. He would have no context, no images of endless summers. "The Second Impact melted the polar ice cap in Antarctica and altered the planet's axis. I'm told the change in weather patterns was catastrophic for humanity," he continued, softly. Kaworu no longer searched for what didn't exist in his memory. Whatever remained of Adam in him slept still. "It happened fifteen years ago, however. I can't remember it."
Tokyo... Three? Stefan opened his mouth to ask for clarification just as he felt the bus jerk underneath them, and saw the face of the hospital pull away beyond their window. He rose to his feet to look for Elena, Damon or Alaric, but a nearby nurse-soldier shot him a glare, and it was too hard anyway to pick out faces on a crowded bus. Stefan gave a silent sigh, and sank back into his seat. He'd have to trust that they all made it onto a bus.
Kaworu started into an explanation anyway, but even though Stefan made himself listen closely, the boy's words and focus seemed to come from a distance, impartial and strange. Beyond strange. Stefan was pretty on top of his world history, but even someone like Damon wouldn't need to care about the news to know that the polar caps hadn't melted yet, and especially not because of something called "the Second Impact." Altered axis. Weather patterns. Fifteen years ago. If not for everything else Stefan had already seen, or the people he'd already met, he might have dismissed it out of hand as being from... he didn't know what, science fiction or something.
Maybe... maybe that was appropriate. Stefan still remembered his near-disastrous first meeting with Edward, and could only be grateful that he'd entirely avoided the latest vampire craze of this decade and so had little to compare his friend to except for a few movie trailers and overheard conversations with teenagers. If he could believe that Edward and his particular world of marble-white vampires and werewolves was real, then Kaworu...
There really were alternate universes, weren't there? The idea only made Stefan feel further away from Mystic Falls than ever. "I'm sorry," he said awkwardly, shaking himself out of his thoughts. In such a world, was there still room for vampires or witches or other supernatural creatures...? He snuck a look at Kaworu, whose eyes were both so kind and so unsettling. "Um, how was it for you? In Tokyo-3. Is everyone there... like you?"
"No." Then Stefan, too, had noticed. Kaworu was more like the Lilim than any of the other Angels, and yet, they could tell he was separate. There was too much that he could not emulate, and felt no desire to. It had been pointless for most of his life. The degree to which he fit in was irrelevant when surrounded by those who already knew. It was only later that it had any significance to his life, and even then, only for a short while. He had only needed to be one of them briefly, and only Shinji had truly believed him. Kaworu's hand closed and unclosed.
Here, it was once again meaningless. Without Adam, without the Angels, Kaworu was detached. He was still not of the Lilim, though. He would never be.
"The Lilim exist separately, but I've known nothing else." He stopped, and considered. Stefan wanted an account of his life. How he had lived. "My life was unremarkable, until I met Shinji."
"The Lilim?" Stefan echoed, the word unfamiliar on his tongue. Despite being a supernatural being himself, he was far from an expert on folklore or other arcane knowledge. Most vampires simply relied on witches for that part, if they cared at all, and of course there were those who made this sort of research their life's work, such as Elena's mother (and to a somewhat lesser degree, people like Alaric Saltzman). If ever Stefan had studied the same, it was a long time ago, during one of those difficult periods in which he sought explanations for what he was and where they came from, only to realize some years later that he wasn't going to find justification for his life in an occult text.
In spite of his searching, in spite of all of the decades he'd existed on this Earth, he never did find much of one - not until he met Elena. Stefan's eyebrows raised as he regarded Kaworu for a secord, surprised to hear the boy's words echo his thoughts. But it wasn't intentional, not like Edward's telepathy. Just... a coincidence.
I've known nothing else. What did that mean? He had too many things he could say in response to Kaworu's vague statements, but in the end, decided to settle on the easiest one. "Shinji. That's the boy we went to rescue a few nights ago, isn't it? Your... friend?"
"Yes," he agreed. It was, he supposed, the best word for it. It wasn't specific, and it didn't demonstrate all that there was between them, but that was not unusual. The pitfalls of language. The weaknesses of expression. Nuance and one's own thoughts augmented a word and made it personal, but only in one's own mind. Shinji was a friend, but was associated with specific events and memories that differentiated him limitlessly from Stefan, or from Ayanami, or from Otacon. These things were beyond words. He suspected the Lilim felt the same, but there was no surety.
Without fully realizing it, he had begun to smile again. The dull unfocused distance in his eyes was dismissed, and he met Stefan's eyes clearly. Stefan's passing curiosity mirrored Kaworu own. As they both experienced love, perhaps it was of greater interest when they saw it in others. But again, Kaworu only knew himself.
And although there was always happiness associated with Shinji, the memories of that night tainted and darkened that. "But I believe Shinji was hurt that night," he added, barely more than a murmur. "Deeper, and unseen. What happened to Elena?"
He had changed since then. More than he could fully comprehend. Here, the call of Adam and Lilith was faint, and he suspected they didn't even exist at all. What he felt was only the ghost of what once defined his existence. He saw it himself, as well as Ayanami. Looking back at her, they reflected the destruction of the Lilim. But they were so small. They were harmless here. They were as the Lilim. There truly might not be any reason at all left why Shinji should fear them. When he called for Kaworu, it was so much stronger than any remaining impulse to return to Adam. His source. His origin. Himself.
After a moment, he recalled the concept of multiple realities. The city might mean nothing to Stefan. He would have no context, no images of endless summers. "The Second Impact melted the polar ice cap in Antarctica and altered the planet's axis. I'm told the change in weather patterns was catastrophic for humanity," he continued, softly. Kaworu no longer searched for what didn't exist in his memory. Whatever remained of Adam in him slept still. "It happened fifteen years ago, however. I can't remember it."
Reply
Kaworu started into an explanation anyway, but even though Stefan made himself listen closely, the boy's words and focus seemed to come from a distance, impartial and strange. Beyond strange. Stefan was pretty on top of his world history, but even someone like Damon wouldn't need to care about the news to know that the polar caps hadn't melted yet, and especially not because of something called "the Second Impact." Altered axis. Weather patterns. Fifteen years ago. If not for everything else Stefan had already seen, or the people he'd already met, he might have dismissed it out of hand as being from... he didn't know what, science fiction or something.
Maybe... maybe that was appropriate. Stefan still remembered his near-disastrous first meeting with Edward, and could only be grateful that he'd entirely avoided the latest vampire craze of this decade and so had little to compare his friend to except for a few movie trailers and overheard conversations with teenagers. If he could believe that Edward and his particular world of marble-white vampires and werewolves was real, then Kaworu...
There really were alternate universes, weren't there? The idea only made Stefan feel further away from Mystic Falls than ever. "I'm sorry," he said awkwardly, shaking himself out of his thoughts. In such a world, was there still room for vampires or witches or other supernatural creatures...? He snuck a look at Kaworu, whose eyes were both so kind and so unsettling. "Um, how was it for you? In Tokyo-3. Is everyone there... like you?"
Reply
Here, it was once again meaningless. Without Adam, without the Angels, Kaworu was detached. He was still not of the Lilim, though. He would never be.
"The Lilim exist separately, but I've known nothing else." He stopped, and considered. Stefan wanted an account of his life. How he had lived. "My life was unremarkable, until I met Shinji."
Reply
In spite of his searching, in spite of all of the decades he'd existed on this Earth, he never did find much of one - not until he met Elena. Stefan's eyebrows raised as he regarded Kaworu for a secord, surprised to hear the boy's words echo his thoughts. But it wasn't intentional, not like Edward's telepathy. Just... a coincidence.
I've known nothing else. What did that mean? He had too many things he could say in response to Kaworu's vague statements, but in the end, decided to settle on the easiest one. "Shinji. That's the boy we went to rescue a few nights ago, isn't it? Your... friend?"
Reply
Without fully realizing it, he had begun to smile again. The dull unfocused distance in his eyes was dismissed, and he met Stefan's eyes clearly. Stefan's passing curiosity mirrored Kaworu own. As they both experienced love, perhaps it was of greater interest when they saw it in others. But again, Kaworu only knew himself.
And although there was always happiness associated with Shinji, the memories of that night tainted and darkened that. "But I believe Shinji was hurt that night," he added, barely more than a murmur. "Deeper, and unseen. What happened to Elena?"
Reply
Leave a comment