Day 55: Cafeteria

[mustbethesuit]

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[zack_fair]

The number of patients who had been put into solitary the day before wasn't as large as he would have guessed. Zack wondered if that was because tossing food didn't count as enough of an offense; he'd gotten violent with the soldiers, after all, so that was probably where the distinction was. On the other hand, there was a chance that some of the other rule-breakers just hadn't woken up yet. There was still no sign of Tifa, for one thing.

It was difficult for him to just stand there doing nothing while everyone else was hard at work. Some looked like they were only doing the bare minimum, but he didn't really blame them for that, either. It was his fault -- partly -- that they'd gotten into this mess. Then again, if it had been up to Zack, that food fight wouldn't have happened in the first place. Where was the guy who'd started all this, anyway?

Before he could spend too much time looking around, though, he was distracted by a teen with spiky hair (that style seemed to be more common than he'd thought) drawing near. The kid looked positively grouchy, like someone had just stolen his most prized possession.

Zack didn't know what was going on, but he only felt his guilt increase. It had almost seemed like that sigh was directed at him. He sent the kid an apologetic look as he awkwardly crossed his arms over his chest, for once at a loss for words. An apology wouldn't do much.

[composers_proxy]

Neku glanced up just enough to see the grown man's apologetic look. Granted, it wasn't really his fault, it was this damn institute, but it didn't improve his mood either way. What about doing what you want when you want? This was about as far from CAT's motto as he could get.

"This sucks," he said finally, wringing out the dirty rag before sloshing it around and spreading a flood of soapy water around the tiles. The static buzzing in his head only got worse as more patients entered the room and it was only making things worse. Seriously.

"Aren't you supposed to be an adult or something? What were you doing throwing food around?"

[zack_fair]

The kid wasn't exactly eloquent, but it wasn't like Zack cared about things like that. "This sucks" was probably the most concise way to describe what was going on at the moment, and so he only nodded in understanding. It wasn't like his side of things was much easier. Maybe some people would have seen it as dodging a bullet, but he hated that he couldn't pitch in.

The question that the boy asked him wasn't unreasonable, and yet that wasn't exactly how it had been. Zack sighed and then rubbed at the back of his neck. "I didn't throw much food, actually. I think they took more of an issue with the fact that I started throwing punches at the soldiers. I wasn't really willing to let them beat up my friend, though."

He'd just leave out the fact that Tifa had started it. Considering what had been going on, he didn't really think she'd been in the wrong to do such a thing. It sucked that they were being hung out to dry now, and he only hoped that he wouldn't end up with a reputation among the patients after all this.

[composers_proxy]

The stain under his weak washrag was just starting to lighten, despite his best efforts and teenage apathy. The nod he more or less expected, but when the guy said he was one of the ones actually throwing punches around, Neku actually paused long enough to look up at the man, unable to keep a slightly amused expression from his face. Okay, so maybe the guy wasn't so bad after all. Not that Neku was enjoying the punishment, but...

He let out a slow sigh, this one at least, not directed at the tall, spiky haired guy. The last 24 hours were enough to put him in a funk and it was usually about this time Shiki would have a choice word or two to snap him out of it. Or Beat might just knock him around until he shaped up. Even Minako would've been tolerable. Not that he'd ever admit it aloud to any of them, but without them... well... he didn't want to be that person he was before. But without them, that seemed so much harder.

"I'm Neku," he said finally, glancing up once more. He didn't smile, but at least his gaze wasn't so accusatory. His way of making nice, he supposed. The noise and chatter of the cafeteria, low as it was still grated slightly on his nerves without a solid beat behind it and everything felt off. Being friendly was the least of his priorities, even if he knew it ought to be. Getting pissed at the other patients wasn't going to help any, right?

"Last night sucked," he said, close as he'd get to an apology, "It just... didn't really help to wake up to <>this."

[zack_fair]

It was hard to judge what the kid thought just from that half-smirk on his face, but Zack was going to hope that he approved of fighting more than chucking food. He really shouldn't have been promoting violence to someone so young, but the kid looked like he was his teens and that was about when he'd started. He'd turned out okay, hadn't he?

Well, other than dying, but there had been extenuating circumstances involved there.

But he got a name, which had to mean that he was on the right track. Zack stretched his arms up and almost considered doing a few squats to get out some of his nervous energy, but he didn't want other patients to think he was mocking them or something, so he decided to hold back. "The name's Zack. Believe me, I'd be doing that for you if I could." Despite how fast he'd zipped through the ranks back in Shin-Ra, he'd been given bathroom cleaning duty his fair share of times. He could handle it.

It was a shame to hear that Neku had had a rough night, but that also wasn't so uncommon here. "That's too bad. What happened?" Hopefully he wasn't overstepping any bounds by asking that; Neku was the one who'd brought it up, after all. "Mine wasn't so good either, to be honest. For some reason I kept tripping over my own feet, which isn't like me." He was usually a composed soldier with good reflexes, not a bumbling idiot. "Let's just say not much got done." He was just glad that his clumsiness didn't seem to have carried over to the morning.

The only good thing that had happened last night was running into Cloud; Zack took that moment to search out his friend, but it was more or less impossible with all the hustling and bustling going on.

[composers_proxy]

Zack? Sounded foreign, but that was pretty common here. And even if the guy seemed kind of weird, at least he seemed to be telling the truth, for whatever that was worth. Promising he'd be working in Neku's place if he could didn't do him much good though.

He wasn't sure how he felt about sharing last night with the other people here. There was the obvious fallout to worry about if someone he'd try to Erase last night ended up being pissed with him (like that psycho with the ballpoint pen for instance) and even if that wasn't reason enough, Neku wasn't so comfortable talking about it. He'd mostly figured the guy would just let it go at hearing the night sucked. Most nights here sucked.

"At least you weren't trying to attack the other patients here," he said, letting the man draw his own conclusions from that.

[zack_fair]

While Zack was mainly focused on his conversation with Neku, that didn't meant that he couldn't let his eyes wander from time to time, and he soon spotted another pair of patients who were in the same position as him, made to stand and watch in shame. More than that, he recognized one of them as Lightning. Even though he was supposed to be on his best behavior at the moment, Zack couldn't resist the urge to wave over at her. So she had thrown some punches at the soldiers too? He had to admit he would have liked to see her in action, but he'd obviously been busy with his own fights.

He didn't know who the giant she was standing with was, but he looked nice enough. Too nice to be hanging around with someone as stony-faced as Lightning, for one thing. He wondered if it was that weather-named friend she had brought up before. Snow, right?

Though by then, Neku had spoken up again, drawing Zack's attention back to him. The comment the kid made was very cryptic. Was he saying what Zack thought he was saying? If that was the case, then he really had every reason to say that things "sucked."

Zack didn't want to assume since it could just be an off-handed comment, and so he decided to just address it as a general statement. "That's true," he agreed with a nod. "I've dodged that bullet so far. Not sure how I'd handle it if it did happen..." Seeing how he'd had to fight friends when he was in his right mind, not even being able to control himself could be that much worse.

[composers_proxy]

He moved to the next spot on the floor, taking his time and appearing unhurried. The last thing he wanted to do was put actual effort into something like this.

But at least Zack seemed to get what he was saying. Neku wasn't proud of himself, not by any stretch of the imagination, but even if the same thing happened tonight, he couldn't be sure he'd be any better at stopping himself from doing it all again. That was the hard part. He'd been used and then thrown away and left to deal with the consequences.

"Yeah," he agreed blandly. "I thought I'd been flying pretty far under their radar, but last night would prove otherwise. I think I hurt a couple people pretty bad."

[zack_fair]

Zack was pretty sure that everyone felt like they were flying under the radar until it actually happened. It was the sort of thing where you never really expected it to happen to you, even if you were just as likely to be picked as anyone else. If anything, Zack figured he was more of a target. He had put a lot of his time into learning how to fight and even kill when it came down to it, so he'd be a pretty good candidate. Choosing a kid, though? That seemed wrong.

Not that he was asking to be taken, but he was definitely prepared for it. Or as prepared as he could be, at least.

Still, if the kid was telling the truth and he'd injured some people, then that was proof enough that he'd been seen as both strong and valuable by the institute. It was troubling, but Zack had probably only been a little older than him when he'd joined the military. He was the poster boy for flying through the ranks at a young age -- or he had been, anyway.

"If that's the case, then maybe try to track them down and apologize. They probably don't blame you for it -- I mean, everyone here knows about it. But still, it might mean something to them if you take the time to apologize face-to-face, right?" That was how Zack would have handled it personally.

[composers_proxy]

Apologize? Probably. Neku spent the next several moments intently scrubbing an invisible stain on the floor. It struck a chord with him and while he wanted to push the blame and say it wasn't his fault, he wasn't the one in control... it just didn't change the fact that he'd hurt them. Even if the sorry was only an I'm sorry you got hurt, there should probably be one. It just- it sucked and he was pissed and there was no one to take it out on except for the dirty floor beneath him.

"Yeah," he said after a few moments, with a slow nod of his head. There was a reason he kind of sucked at being the conversationalist. Usually this was where Shiki or Beat would pop in with a convenient change in subject.

[zack_fair]

Okay, that wasn't the best response he could have hoped for, but all Zack could do was cross his fingers that his words had actually gotten through somehow. Neku was now just staring at the floor and more or less trying to act like he didn't exist, which only made Zack feel worse. No one that young should have to go through something so emotionally damaging. He'd been through his share of terrible situations at a young age, as had Cloud, and while they'd come out okay, they definitely had a few scars. It seemed like Neku was going to have some too, and Zack didn't like having to see it.

"Anyway... let me know if you need anything, okay? I might not be able to offer much, but I'm always willing to lend a hand." Even to a relative stranger. The kid looked like he needed a few people to rely on, and Zack almost had this instinct for taking people under his wing. Neku might not accept his help, but he could at least extend it to him.