And thus concluded a perfect start to a perfect day. Making him explode from every facial orifice was a totally justified response to Peter not doing anything at all.
The nurses' hearts had defrosted just enough to permit them a change of clothes and a desperately needed wipe down. Nurse Joyce - Rachel had been apologizing the whole way back to
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"Of course not!" Guybrush insisted with 100% sincerity. This wasn't the first time his introduction had been returned with an incredulous look, a sigh, or both in succession. "Not as ridiculous as Bobbin Threadbare or Mancomb Seepgood. Guybrush is a sophisticated name known throughout the Caribbean! Well, it used to be. These days, I try to pretend I didn't write that trilogy about where, how, and why I blew up my nemesis."
He paused for a second before continuing, his hand still offered to the air. "I missed the morning announcements. Do you know who these guys are, Mr...?"
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He really had no idea what the other man was babbling on about, but it seemed clear that he thought he was from a time when pirates were all the rage on the Caribbean seas. It was a bit difficult to even keep a straight face when he knew that, but...
Right, the hand. Harvey took it because Guybrush was refusing to pull it back, giving it a brief yet firm shake. "It's Harvey Dent. And they didn't tell us too much, to be honest." He just had to try and forget that he was talking with a self-proclaimed pirate. Easy, right? "The head doctor just told us not to ask the nurses about it because they didn't know much anyway. And there's still no telling what that Eagle thing is." What, or who. There were a lot of possibilities, but they were being kept in the dark for the moment.
"But yeah, where they're from and why they're here is still up in the air. It would have been nice if they'd explained a few things before trying to gas all of us." Even if Harvey had dodged that bullet, it still bothered him.
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No more excuses! Elaine was gone, LeChuck was just as gone, and he wasn't getting anywhere without information. The nurse never answered any of his questions, and Darkly Clad Official #1 had ignored him, so both of them were off the list of people to question. Only every other nurse and guard to go. Or he could just wait until nightfall and go snooping. The find-a-nurse-and-get-answers-from-her-the-hard-way plan hadn't gone over so well, even with the unstoppable duo of Mighty Pirate™ and Mighty Pirate Hunter™.
"Well, that explains... not much," Guybrush admitted, ignoring another urge to ask about how his face got so mangled, "but it's good to know anyway. Here's hoping they don't stick around at night. If they're like this during the day, I'd hate to see what they're like lurking in the hallways at night. I've been trying to get a hold of either a nurse or a brainwashed patient for the past two nights to get some answers out of them, but I get the feeling these guys wouldn't talk no matter how many insults were thrown at them."
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The guy had a good point about the night, for one thing. Were the soldiers going to warp into some sort of monster, too, or would they just disappear? It seemed like the sort of thing that could go either way, but they wouldn't have to wait too long before they found out. How lucky for them.
Hearing about the man's plan to try and talk to someone at night just caused Harvey to hold back a laugh, though. Was this guy new? He should have known there was no chance in hell of that working. "I don't know as much about the nurses, but you're not going to have any luck with the brainwashed patients. All they're going to want to do is tell you to head back and then attack you." In a whole myriad of ways, at that.
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"Is that what happened to your face?" Guybrush asked immediately. Wait, he'd meant to assure Harvey he was an expert at negotiation and puzzle-solving, but it came out completely wrong. Whoops.
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If he was a weaker man, he might have winced at that.
Instead, he just frowned and shook his head. "No, it didn't happen here." How many times would he have to explain this? Maybe he should just write it on a piece of paper and tape it to his forehead.
Seeing how Guybrush had been so forward, Harvey really didn't feel guilty about doing the same. So he motioned to the hook and tilted his head. "What about you?"
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"Didn't happen here either," the pirate answered, waggling his hook a little. Before his kidnapping, he missed Lefty- now that he had possibly the world's most useless prosthetic, he took back all the bad things he'd thought about the hook. At least his first one had been sharp enough to act as a back scratcher.
"It got infected with a pox that can apparently be used to make some immortality juice," he continued, complete with dramatic hand motions representing the pox, "so this crazy doctor hired a Mighty Pirate Hunter™ to come take it from me. I bested her in an exciting sword fight on the deck of my ship, but she got away, taking my hand with her."
The mental image of someone hunting down Harvey and lopping off half his face floated through Guybrush's mind. Ugh. Now that was unpleasant. "Though I'm guessing you're not a pirate, so that's not what happened to you. There don't seem to be many of us here."
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And it was ridiculous. Was this guy one of those pathological liars who just came up with fantastical stories off the top of his head? Considering where they were, it was completely possible. (Still, who could even come up with something like that?)
"...Right, not so much," he said after a pause as he tried to gather his thoughts. But even if this man was insane, Harvey still didn't feel comfortable returning the favor and explaining his own injury in detail. "It was a bit more mundane than that." Being tied up to cans of gas and left up to the whim of a crazy clown wasn't actually that mundane, but compared to immortality juice and pirate hunters? Yeah, it was.
But maybe that's what had caused Guybrush to come up with this bizarre story; maybe he'd lost his hand in a really uninteresting way and he had wanted to make it more important than that. It seemed like the most likely option to Harvey at that moment.
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