For several heartbeats Kaworu only studied the outstretched hand like some new and fascinating creature, then finally set the handle of the bag there, though he didn't draw back. His palm rested against Shinji's with only the handle between them, fingertips resting against the pulse point in his wrist; still without a word Kaworu watched him with an unreadable smile. And then, finally: "You shouldn't be so afraid."
The words fell into the silence, soft-voiced and mild but no less sincere for that. Kaworu remained still a moment longer, then drew his hand back again and stepped away. "I'm to take care of you, the nurse said," he observed, with a gravity that said he intended to obey to the letter. "I didn't need to be told." And with that he turned away, slinging his own bag over his shoulder and idly humming to himself as he moved toward the stairs, clearly confident that Shinji would be right behind him.
And outside the plug the doctor leaned back in the chair with a soft creak of springs, exhaling a long stream of smoke toward the display monitors. "A pleasant fabrication. Tranquility. Affection. Like an endless summer." A contemplative silence briefly followed, then the doctor stubbed the cigarette out in an already-overflowing ashtray with unnecessary force and leaned forward to resume the ordered flow of codes and commands, the dance of fingers over keyboard measured by the metronomic click of keys. "But dreams... always end."
Shinji let out a long sigh of relief as Kaworu turned away. Dreams. All dreams. Maybe now he could relax. He took a step after Kaworu, another, and then he lost his footing and darkness rushed up to meet him. For a moment, scenes of his life flashed through his mind - was he Shinji Ikari, Eva pilot? Shinji Ikari, a school-boy? Sena Inoue, a sick child trying to escape his own life? They all mixed together, twisting until he wasn't sure which was which or even what direction "up" was.
He came back to himself in the plug, feeling weak. Was this another dream? Would this all get swept away and be replaced by another reality? He didn't know anymore. He wasn't even sure if he cared, so long as it remained constant; unchanging.
The voice, once again, was female... but not Misato's. Still familiar to Shinji, but calmer and detached rather than showing any sign of anxiety or concern. A moment later light flared within the plug, resolving into a display of the interior of the testing hangar at NERV; through the observation window a single blonde figure was partially visible behind a bank of equipment.
After a brief pause the voice continued, speaking with a hint of clinical curiosity, as of a scientist examining dry figures rather than a human being. "The question is, where are you going to go from here?"
Shinji shrank back from the sudden light, squinting as his eyes adjusted. There's confusion, turmoil. Who is this? Why is he at NERV again? What possible purpose could a test like this have? He flexed his fingers against the unresponsive controls. "I... I don't know... What was all that...? Who are you? Is this even real?"
There was a note of disapproval (or was that disappointment) in the woman's voice when she replied, "You wish to stay as you were? You have so much to choose from."
Outside of the plug the doctor's fingers danced over the keyboard, adjusting the levels of the drugs floating in the psuedo-LCL; gradually decreasing the dose of her own carefully-formulated cocktail, replacing it with a more simple sedative. After all, the mind needed time to recover after a shock she'd just induced, time to readjust the re-evaluate. A rest would do him good. It was like she was doing him a favor.
Her actions were mimicked by the simulation on the display screen before the boy, then the blonde figure lifted her head to look out the window toward the plug, her eyes narrowed slightly in critical thought. "Define your own reality, Shinji Ikari. Don't run away from it."
"Define my own...? But I don't... I don't understand it..." His voice trailed off as he watched the simulation in front of him, minding turning fuzzy around the edges. The sedatives had begun their work and after a few more moments Shinji's head lolled back as he struggled to keep his eyes open. Everything was fading again and even as he fought off sleep and unconsciousness, it engulfed him.
"Of course you don't." The doctor frowned at the monitors as the boy's vital signs shifted from the previous frenzy of activity into the sedate lines of drugged sleep, pausing briefly to examine the remains of her latest cigarette. She finally stubbed it out in the overfull ashtray and pushed back from the bank of monitors. "But what will you do when you can no longer retreat to the security of your own mind?"
For a moment longer she studied the readouts, the cameras showing the somnolent figure suspended in LCL, then chuckled softly and flipped the master switch that silenced the hum of electricity and left the room shrouded in darkness once more-- all but for the single light over the hatch of the entry plug. The lock on the door disengaged with a soft click as the doctor moved off into the shadows at the back of the room, leaving no sign of her presence but for the ashtray full of lipstick-stained cigarette butts and the lingering odor of smoke. The cavalry should arrive shortly, for certain. All that remained was for her to observe.
The words fell into the silence, soft-voiced and mild but no less sincere for that. Kaworu remained still a moment longer, then drew his hand back again and stepped away. "I'm to take care of you, the nurse said," he observed, with a gravity that said he intended to obey to the letter. "I didn't need to be told." And with that he turned away, slinging his own bag over his shoulder and idly humming to himself as he moved toward the stairs, clearly confident that Shinji would be right behind him.
And outside the plug the doctor leaned back in the chair with a soft creak of springs, exhaling a long stream of smoke toward the display monitors. "A pleasant fabrication. Tranquility. Affection. Like an endless summer." A contemplative silence briefly followed, then the doctor stubbed the cigarette out in an already-overflowing ashtray with unnecessary force and leaned forward to resume the ordered flow of codes and commands, the dance of fingers over keyboard measured by the metronomic click of keys. "But dreams... always end."
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He came back to himself in the plug, feeling weak. Was this another dream? Would this all get swept away and be replaced by another reality? He didn't know anymore. He wasn't even sure if he cared, so long as it remained constant; unchanging.
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The voice, once again, was female... but not Misato's. Still familiar to Shinji, but calmer and detached rather than showing any sign of anxiety or concern. A moment later light flared within the plug, resolving into a display of the interior of the testing hangar at NERV; through the observation window a single blonde figure was partially visible behind a bank of equipment.
After a brief pause the voice continued, speaking with a hint of clinical curiosity, as of a scientist examining dry figures rather than a human being. "The question is, where are you going to go from here?"
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Not that he really expected a straight answer.
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Outside of the plug the doctor's fingers danced over the keyboard, adjusting the levels of the drugs floating in the psuedo-LCL; gradually decreasing the dose of her own carefully-formulated cocktail, replacing it with a more simple sedative. After all, the mind needed time to recover after a shock she'd just induced, time to readjust the re-evaluate. A rest would do him good. It was like she was doing him a favor.
Her actions were mimicked by the simulation on the display screen before the boy, then the blonde figure lifted her head to look out the window toward the plug, her eyes narrowed slightly in critical thought. "Define your own reality, Shinji Ikari. Don't run away from it."
Reply
The world was replaced with blissful oblivion.
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For a moment longer she studied the readouts, the cameras showing the somnolent figure suspended in LCL, then chuckled softly and flipped the master switch that silenced the hum of electricity and left the room shrouded in darkness once more-- all but for the single light over the hatch of the entry plug. The lock on the door disengaged with a soft click as the doctor moved off into the shadows at the back of the room, leaving no sign of her presence but for the ashtray full of lipstick-stained cigarette butts and the lingering odor of smoke. The cavalry should arrive shortly, for certain. All that remained was for her to observe.
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