arc_wrench
in
damned
Night 53: M61-M70 Hallway
Well! For once Landel said something worth listening to: revealing a potential weakness for exploitation! Now! What to do with it. What should he do to completely ruin Landel's bright and shiny plans for a wonderful day, toppling them like a small meatbag kicking over a carefully-constructed sand structure, making sure to get the constituent
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This wasn't the first time a roommate had been taken for one of those damned "sleep studies", but having his own experiences so fresh on his mind didn't make watching those men sedate someone into submission any easier. If anything, Claude felt even more powerless, because when it came down to it, there was no way anyone could be saved from the tortures of that horrible hallway. "Rescue mission" was really code for "finding victims and picking up the pieces".
He wished he'd been able to stop those orderlies somehow.
"His friend said he didn't want our help," Claude grimly added as he leaned his sword against Guy's desk. "He sounded like he was armed, though, so between him and the other rescue groups that go up there, I guess they have things covered."
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Guy knew that Claude had been through this nightmare of having a roommate taken once before, too. He remembered the other time, if only vaguely. And Claude had been kidnapped for the experiments himself, so it was almost like M44 was bad luck.
Granted, Guy could never forget the night Okita had been taken away. He hadn't been able to do a thing, so he could at least relate somewhat to what Claude was feeling right then. He still didn't even know any of the details of what Okita had been through, but he had to wonder if it had something to do with his prevailing bad mood as of late. Or maybe he'd just lost too many people.
"I guess so," he eventually said with a frown, not feeling relaxed enough to sit back down yet. His sword was still laying on the bed. "I'm sorry that had to happen, but we'll just have to hope his friend makes it up there in time."
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"I'm sure he will," Claude said. "The second he found out, he was running straight for the stairs." Even with how wonky time could be in this place sometimes, he would have been shocked if it turned out he never made it to the disciplinary hall. It was only a short distance away from the stairway, after all, and with others inevitably heading that direction, they were bound to have safety in numbers.
He glanced over at Guy, making eye contact for a brief moment before he set down his flashlight as well. It was hard to change the subject to the matter at hand, particularly when they were discussing pretty heavy topics as it was.
"How's Okita?" he asked instead. "You saw him during dinner, right?"
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He was somewhat surprised when Claude brought up Okita, seeing how he'd just been thinking about him. Still, it made sense considering the topic they were on. Despite that, he didn't really know how to answer. He realized that Claude was stalling and he didn't necessarily mind, but this wasn't much easier to talk about.
"I did," he replied. "We didn't talk about much. I... sort of feel like there's this barrier between us that we just can't break down for some reason." Maybe that was just how it had to be, but it didn't stop him from worrying for the other man.
Guy realized a little too late how what he'd just said could apply to himself and Claude if they weren't careful, though, and he knew it was about time to drop the charade. What was going on with Claude's roommate was serious, but there wasn't much they could do about it now. "Anyway," he continued, "that's not what we're here to talk about, is it?" He said it as casually as he could, since he didn't want to make this awkward.
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Before he could say anything, though, Guy promptly steered the topic back into why they'd originally met together. Since a lot of this had been largely Claude's idea, he realized he didn't need to be dancing around the subject. Straightening, he fully looked at the other man. "No, it isn't."
He glanced around the room a second before looking back at Guy. "We should probably sit down and make ourselves comfortable first." This could last awhile, after all.
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It all reinforced how they weren't going out and fighting when they should have been, but Guy's mind had already been made up. They might as well get through this now that they were here.
As he sat himself sideways on the bed, he glanced over at Claude and nodded, silently letting him know that he could sit wherever he pleased. He honestly didn't know where the best place for that would be, but he'd leave it to the other man to decide. "So, anywhere you wanted to start?" He supposed they could just pick up where they'd left off, but there was always the chance that Claude had something in particular that he wanted to get off his chest first thing.
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Fortunately, he didn't have to think too hard of where he wanted to start. Claude just hoped that once they got talking, all this awkwardness would gradually dissipate. Granted, given why they were talking in the first place, that could be a bit much to ask. But he still knew that dragging this out or beating around the bush wasn't going to do them any favors now that they were actually here.
"I've been wanting to ask about how you've been with your missing memories," Claude admitted. "Did you ever get a chance to talk to any of your friends about that?" His eyebrows furrowed as he looked over at Guy. "Your symptoms haven't gotten worse, have they?"
Those were some serious questions to spring on him, but they were important to Claude just the same. Dias had disappeared shortly after being brought back to life. The thought of the same thing happening to Guy someday was almost more than he could bear. It was already bad enough that his friend didn't remember something so important to him.
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It didn't take Claude long to give his answer, either, which was both a good thing and a bad thing. Guy didn't want them to end up sitting there and twiddling their thumbs, and the issue of his memories was something he'd legitimately been meaning to bring up to Claude. He just hadn't had the chance thus far. At the same time, though, just having to remember what Luke had told him was enough to put him into a somber mood all over again.
After a pause, though, he nodded. "Yeah. I only get the chance to talk to Luke about it yesterday, actually." Bringing Luke up didn't help how he was feeling, but he couldn't focus on that for now. He closed his eyes for a moment and then continued. "He told me that there was an airship, the Albiore, that we found and used to get around for a good portion of our journey.
"But I don't remember it all," he admitted, glancing down at his hands which were cupped in his lap. "I don't even remember the girl who piloted it. I've been trying, but... it's like I know there's supposed to be this really important thing in my memory, but it's not there." He could only feel bad for what could have been, but he wasn't able to miss it because as far as he could tell, he'd never known it in the first place.
It was disconcerting, to say the least.
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He couldn't imagine how jarring it must have been for Guy to have to listen to all this stuff that he'd been there for, knowing that those memories had been stripped away by the doctors. Was that some stupid "price" Landel had him pay for kicks? Or was memory loss one of the side effects of whatever procedure they'd used to bring him back from the dead?
Neither one of those possibilities sounded good, and he knew better than to voice them aloud. Guy very well might have considered them himself.
Regardless of the reason, though, it didn't change the very serious problem that was on Guy's hands. From the sound of it, it wasn't just the airship he'd forgotten, but the people involved with it too. Claude wondered what kind of relationship he must have had with that pilot. If learning to fly an airship was his dream, then he really must have enjoyed talking to her. Maybe they used to have long chats like he and Guy often did these days. Would Guy ever remember her even after he made it back home?
"That's really rough," Claude quietly said after a moment, a soft frown pulling at his features. They must have been happy recollections if Landel had chosen to specifically target them. "I know Dias was missing a lot of his memories of Ashton, but I don't think he quite realized what had happened." He glanced away for a moment. "And I never got to explain it to him, so..."
That had been hard to do, considering how heated their last conversation together had been.
Turning his attention more fully onto Guy, he continued. "But since you've figured what you've lost, maybe we can find a way to fix it someday."
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Besides, he'd seen how much the realization had bothered Luke. His friend had tried to hide it, but Guy understood the significance of what had been done to him even if he couldn't entirely feel it.
He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, though he quickly directed his thoughts away from himself when Claude brought up Dias. That was how this whole subject had come up in the first place, and part of Guy wished that he'd never pieced this all out. Still, it would have occurred to him eventually, so maybe Claude was right. Maybe now that he knew, he could figure out how to reverse it.
Still, it was terrible to think that Dias hadn't even realized what was wrong before he'd disappeared (since it seemed clear to him that the man was long gone), and he hoped that Claude wasn't letting it haunt him too much. Then again, he knew how he would have felt in the other man's shoes.
"We'll see," he said at length. "It's just... there aren't even traces. I don't know how easy it would be to put something back when it's been cut out like that." It was as if someone had sliced out the relevant bits in his memory banks as cleanly and carefully as possible. Could that kind of damage really be mended? He wasn't sure.
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"That may be so," Claude said slowly, his gaze moving toward the far wall as he thought over his words. "But, you know, neither of us can comprehend just how vast the universe truly is. There are all kinds of technologies and ideas out there, and the institute obviously has access to a lot of them."
That was right. If they had the required energy to repeatedly whisk people away from different planets and times, possessed a dangerous understanding of advanced heraldry, as well as the means to bring people back from the dead, then there was no telling what else they could do. For all the captives here knew, there were massive data banks and archives filled with information beyond their wildest dreams. They had to keep their real records somewhere, right?
"It must seem a bit hopeless now," he continued, and he turned to fix Guy with an intense gaze, "but, I promise you, I'll do what I can to help you get your memories back."
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He knew he was being negative about the whole thing, but he didn't think the chances of those memories returning were very high. He wasn't going to give up on escape, but he got the feeling he'd be going home without having any better idea of what it had been like to be on that airship.
All he would have to do was see it again and relearn, make up for the lost memories by making new ones. But he doubted Claude was going to accept that kind of solution, and so he kept his thoughts to himself. As cynical as he was being about this, he did still appreciate that his friend was so determined to help him. He nodded his head, smiling ruefully. "I appreciate it. Though really, it's not our biggest concern right now anyway..."
In the next moment, however, he heard some music coming from his desk. It took Guy a second to realize what was happening, but after it clicked in his head he moved himself to the end of the bed and then reached across his desk to open his drawer. Pulling the radio out, he returned to his spot by Claude and listened to the announcement.
It seemed that the radio man had only figured out what had been after them when it was already too late. Guy wondered if he'd had to deal with a shadow of his own. Either way, it sounded like he was actually going to head out in search of other patients. It didn't have too much to do with them, but it was still interesting.
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He was about to say more when the radio suddenly came to life. Guy was quick to grab his, and Claude listened carefully as he heard what the radio man had to say. In the end, it wasn't really much new information, but it did sound like he intended to go outside. Maybe he'd run into others out there and give them a hand.
They sure could have used the help in the moments leading up to Asch's disappearance, he glumly thought before he could help himself. But he also knew it wasn't any good to depend too much on a group that was obviously grappling with its own problems. Claude would just have to keep his fingers crossed that they didn't lose anymore people anytime soon.
Either way, he didn't have much to say about the announcement, which was probably just as well. He didn't want to derail the conversation by talking about things that were completely unrelated to why they'd met together tonight.
"Um, do you mind if I ask you a question?" Claude spoke up after a brief pause. "There's something I've been wondering about, but I guess it might be kind of personal..."
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Claude seemed to be on the same page when it came to that, seeing how he spoke up no less than a second later. It was always somewhat nerve-wracking to hear something phrased that way, though Guy knew he wasn't obligated to answer anything. At the same time, though, part of him did feel obligated, seeing how his track record when it came to being open with Claude was pretty poor.
"Sure, go ahead! I mean, I'll do my best to answer, anyway," he said, meaning it. He got the feeling it wouldn't be anything too prying, but he waited with some amount of anticipation nonetheless.
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"Well, I was wondering why you decided to remain a servant once your journey was over," Claude said. Realizing how that might have been interpreted, he quickly added, "I mean, obviously that's what you wanted to do, but..." He scratched his chin, considering how he ought to phrase what he was trying to say.
"It's just, the more I thought about it, the more I was kind of surprised you didn't go into piloting or something fontech-related."
He wasn't judging Guy for his occupation of choice or anything. If that honestly made him happy, then that was the most important thing. Still, Claude didn't quite understand why someone with such varied interests and talents would choose to walk animals for a living. Guy's eyes never lit up when he talked about rappigs.
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"Well, I think a lot of it was it was just what I was used to," he said with a tilt of his head. "Getting involved in something fontech-related would probably involve me having to take classes. They aren't just going to let someone start tinkering with machinery when their interest is really only a hobby." Even if Guy knew a lot, he had never formally studied, so all he could do was make his hypotheses and try to learn from people like Jade.
That was only part of the answer, though. "I was also looking to find a new home, back in Malkuth," he explained, glancing down at his lap again with a small frown. Even if Grand Chokmah wasn't Hod, it was about as close as Guy could get. And when he'd spent most of his life in Kimlasca, part of him had wanted to experience the kingdom he was supposed to have been a part of.
"Plus," he continued, "it gave me a chance to be around people who I'd become friendly with." With Luke gone there really hadn't been anywhere else for him to go, and Guy had worried that he'd end up feeling displaced. When Peony had made that offer, he'd known it was the right thing... at least for the moment. He wasn't saying that it would be permanent, but it had definitely worked for the time that he'd been doing it. Of course, all of that had been interrupted now.
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