Day 53: Lunch

[buryyourdemons]

There was little to be said of the daily business that went on. He allowed himself to be shuffled, mind embedded too deeply in things he shouldn't be dwelling on. The night was over, the shadows had vanished, and there was little more than bad memories to be left in their stead. This was logic, pure and simple, and should have been reassuring but

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[scintillatingly]

As expected, speaking with Kairi was pretty much an instant cure for any bad feelings that Sora had about what had happened the night before. Even if the girl couldn't do anything to change what had been said to him by that imitation of the Anti-Form, she was just so sincere that it left him feeling better. He was still worried about Riku, of course, but he also knew his friend was strong enough to work through it. He'd been taunted about the darkness in him countless times in the past, so this wouldn't be any different.

If anything, what worried Sora the most was that Riku wouldn't be willing to talk to anyone about it. The only chance he might have of hearing the full story was if he tracked him down at night and they spoke about it in one of their rooms, but...

At the same time, Riku would call that a waste of time. Why did he always have to be so difficult?

After playing out the interaction in his head, Sora just sighed and stepped back into the cafeteria. It always felt like they were fed too often here, though the boy knew that there was nothing wrong with getting three square meals a day, especially with all the exercise that they got at night. Still, even the head doctor seemed rushed, which wasn't like him.

In the end, though, the boy couldn't say no to pizza. It was the quintessential food for someone his age, wasn't it? And he'd never gotten enough of it on the island, where he'd mainly lived on seafood. Sora loved his fish, of course, but chowing down on something unhealthy every now and then was practically a requirement.

So, after collecting two slices (one with pineapple, one with pepperoni), the boy found himself a seat and started to eat.

[For Neku.]

[composers_proxy]

After how bizarre last night had been, today was turning out pretty much average. At least for what was expected at the institute average. Talk to some noobs, check on people via the bulletin (texting would be so much more efficient), and engage in some idle chatter with people he'd met a couple of times before. Minako was alright enough for conversation, if excitable and in need of some new brand names.

Lunch brought some familiar junk food, even if there weren't many pizzerias around Shibuya. And the offerings? Not even a seafood pizza. He wasn't surprised; most of what he'd seen was painfully American, but he had to admit, he was a little disappointed.

Neku still grabbed a few slices that smelled appealing, some juice, and since the nurse was giving him the evil eye, a handful fruits and vegetables. There weren't very many people just yet, so it was easy to spot Sora and set his tray down opposite. He turned the phones down a few notches, looking at the other quizzically.

"Waiting for anyone, or just chillin'?"

[scintillatingly]

Even though Sora had been hoping that he might run into Riku just so he could check on him in person, he couldn't turn down Neku when the boy showed up. It was still weird, especially during the daytime when he could see all of his features so clearly, to note how much they looked alike. Sora didn't know if there was any meaning to it, but it was probably better not to get hung up on that idea.

And so he smiled up at Neku and shook his head. "No, I didn't have any meetings planned!" It was weird to think that that could be an option for him now, seeing how he was the leader of a club. Sometimes Sora still forgot that that was the case, even though he'd been working so hard. It was just weird, since he'd been a member for so long. He'd never thought he would end up at the top.

"How are you feeling?" he asked his friend with a frown as he took another bite of his pineapple pizza. The tropical fruit mixed in with the cheese and sauce made for the perfect taste! But even so, he was worried for Neku. He looked okay, but Sora knew that Neku was the one who'd gotten the most injured during that fight. "That guy did a number on us last night."

In the end they'd defeated him, but it felt like an empty victory to Sora. They hadn't ever wanted that man to die, even if he'd put them through quite the fight. No one on the bulletin had really reacted to the news, but Sora still felt guilty. It only added into what his shadow had said, though this time it had definitely been an accident.

[composers_proxy]

Neku took a seat and once again someone was asking if he was alright. The concept that other people might be concerned for him was still a little foreign, but not unwelcome. A bare smile and a nod in reply.

"Sore mostly, but they patched me up pretty well," he replied, rolling up a sleeve to where the bandages on his shoulder started. It sucked, of course, but Sora knew that just as well as he did. And as far as emotionally, yeah he was confused by a lot of what went down, but took some solace in the fact that the guy they'd fought had been a pretty big jerk in the first place.

"What about you?" If anything, his look-alike was kind of on the other end of the spectrum as far as attitudes went. He'd probably taken the whole thing a little harder than Neku, but it was hard to say for sure.

[scintillatingly]

Just the fact that Neku had had to be bandaged already showed that he'd had a rougher time of it than Sora had, but he seemed to be doing well enough. He didn't seem to be in any obvious pain, and that was probably the most that Sora could ask for. The fact that he was still willing to help out after having such a rough night showed that he was dedicated to the club, and Sora appreciated that more than he could say.

"Yeah, same. I just have some bruises," he admitted, looking a little sheepish. Luckily all of that glue had been removed from their bodies in one way or another before morning had come. It was a little eerie to think about what the nurses had done to them, but... it was probably better not to think about it too hard.

It occurred to him that Neku might be asking about something more than just the physical, but Sora was more curious about what the other boy had been through. "Do you mind if I ask something? You don't have to answer, but..." He paused, taking a bite of his pizza so that they could both brace themselves. "Why did your shadow have those wings?" Neku was probably going to ask him why his had yellow eyes, but they could get to it later.

[composers_proxy]

The short answer to that one was hell if I know, but Neku had a feeling he was asking more about what it meant, rather than why his shadow self was wearing them. It wasn't as if he hadn't thought about it already. He'd been offered the job or compared to the angels of death throughout his time in the game and while he'd never actually taken them up on it...

"Remember that Reaper's Game I told you about?" he tried, "how there were Reapers and Players?"

He shrugged slightly and glanced down at his pizza. Whether he had potential or not, he'd much rather be alive than part of the game in the underground. He didn't think he had the stomach to pit players against each other and force them to fight for their lives, but...

"You can tell which ones are the Reapers because they have wings like that. I was never one of them, but... I don't know. I guess it could've happened. They said I had potential for it. I'm just... I'm not the same person I was when I started that game," he said, trying not to let it bother him. He'd nearly killed Shiki just to get out of the game and that was just in the first couple of days. And then there was Joshua and... and if Minamimoto really had been released, was he home in Shibuya again? Or was he still in this world? And if he'd gone back to Shibuya, would it be on his shoulders to stop the Reaper? All things he'd rather not consider, especially since there was nothing he could about any of it here.

"Yours wasn't you either, right?"

[scintillatingly]

While Sora did recall Neku's explanation about the game he'd had to play in, he really didn't know all the details. All he could remember clearly was that Neku had been a Player and the Reapers were the ones in charge. Which sort of made them the bad guys, but there was always a chance that that was just their job.

He was doing his best to not just see things in blacks and whites now.

So that shadow had been Neku if he had become a Reaper, huh? Sora didn't know what it meant or what sort of implication it had, but the other boy did seem sort of unsettled by the thought, which probably meant that it was bad. "Not the same how?" he asked with a frown. He didn't want Neku to start beating himself up because of what that shadow had said, and so Sora carefully attempted to try and get more information out of him. "I mean, just because that think looked like that doesn't mean it's real or it's going to happen, so..."

The way Neku phrased his counter-question was enough to take Sora by surprise. He blinked at the other patient for a moment and then shook his head. "No, of course not! It..." He paused and sighed. "You remember the Heartless, right? It was like... a Heartless version of me. I've had to fight something like it before, but I don't think it was the same thing. Just a copy or something."

His own transformation into the Anti-Form wasn't something that Sora wanted to bring up, and so he avoided it entirely. He still didn't quite understand that part of him or why it happened, but in his experience it was best to just not think about it.

[composers_proxy]

How? That was a hard question. How was he different from the Neku that'd started the Reaper's game just over a month ago? More ways than he could count, but expressing that in words was something he still had to work on.

"Yeah, I know... it's like... I was kind of an ass before. I kept everyone out," he tapped his headphones once, giving a half-hearted shrug. Still did sometimes obviously. "I just- I hated everything. Hated that city, the people, the noise in it..."

He shook his head, "but that's not me anymore. Damned if I know what it does make me now, but... that's up to me, yeah?"

So long as he knew that, it was all he needed to get his head right. And it sounded like Sora was pretty sure of himself too. Whatever his friend's shadow was, it wasn't him either. Probably just more bull from the people running them through this rat race.

"Huh. Sounds like the doctors are just trying to screw with us. Kinda sucks that they can get in our heads enough to do that though."

[scintillatingly]

It was odd to hear Neku talking about himself so bluntly, but it sounded like he'd gone through some big changes. Maybe he was being too hard on himself, but Sora had seen other people experience the same thing. Riku was actually a good example. Not that he'd ever been that bad, since they'd been friends since they were kids, but it had gotten pretty bad between them for a while.

"It sounds like you've changed for the better," he agreed with a smile. Neku was even helping him out, so that was solid proof of how he'd altered his attitude about things. "So you have to worry even less about whatever that thing was saying." If they let those words get to them then that would be the same as giving in, right?

The other boy brought up a good point, though. Just how did Landel know so much about them? "I know, that thing was saying stuff that it shouldn't have known about. I think that was the weirdest part." It would have been easy for him to brush off if it hadn't honestly felt like the darker side of him voicing its thoughts. That's what had made it so unsettling, and it sounded like it was the same for Neku.