Day 53: Breakfast

[thatdamnedninja]

With sigh that toed the ambiguous no-mans-land between soft and explosive, Yuffie collected a plateful of waffles with all the toppings. She was sure that, if nothing else, it'd making a pretty satisfying splat if-when?-she launched it at somebody's face, and that was all that counted

Comments

[itneverwas]

The wounds that the creature defined by light had inflicted upon his body had already been tended to, Xemnas noticed after he awoke. No more blood clung to the skin around his wounds, instead replaced by white bandages. The shirt, too, was no longer tattered and bloody.

How convenient...

What was less convenient, however, was the fact that - other than what still clinged to his knives - he had been unable to obtain a sample of that curious golden substance. But the creature he had battled had been an interesting one; the wounds he had received were but a small price to pay.

Questioning his nurse, however, revealed little. The injuries had supposedly been caused by unfortunate accidents, and as they headed for the cafeteria the woman continued to insist he'd be more careful. The Superior merely disregarded her meaningless chatter, and once they had reached the relatively empty cafeteria he moved towards the food line to acquire his breakfast. He cared little for what he was to devour, so he simply piled some waffles on his plate before selecting a vacant seat granting him a good view of the cafeteria's entrance.

[Kibby~]

[bitpartgod]

Kibitoshin was still shaking when he woke up. Shaking, and nauseous. The night had ended with a blurr of adrenalin and tension that fell into a horrible, sick darkness that lingered in the back of his throat as he got up to pull on slippers with numb clumsiness, as though he couldn't quite feel the tips of his fingers.

That was- it had been- how could he even begin to describe it? As if he hadn't felt bad enough. As if he hadn't had enough terrible news that evening. As if he didn't feel helpless enough. How was it that the Head Doctor had managed to send out the very worst possible thing he could have run into at the very worst possible time? At least the night had ended before the shadow creature had managed to attack them. If Haseo really had been hurt because of him... well. He wouldn't have been able to stop it or fix it, given how much time he'd already wasted looking like a complete idiot. More of a complete idiot. As if he needed Haseo to see him lose that badly on top of hearing all those things the shadow had said- he might not have believed them completely (he hoped) but if he'd seen him fight maybe he would have changed his mind.

If. Maybe. But. He raked a hand through his hair, eyes chasing the lines between the tiles on the floor. Even Jill hadn't gotten off easy last night, judging by what he'd heard on the intercom. Maybe if he hadn't wasted so much time arguing with monsters he might have-

The back of a chair clipped Kibitoshin's hip painfully as he passed the tables, nearly upsetting his tray, and he fumbled for an apology as quickly as possible. Knowing his luck recently he'd probably managed to make the poor person choke on their breakfast. "O-oh, sorry..." The words stumbled, but not from nerves. Then the Kaioshin actually focused and found he was looking at Xemnas, sitting serenely with a pile of pancakes. Xemnas wouldn't have let something like that bother him. Right? Hesitating for a moment, brow knitted, he gave the man a hopeful look. "Would... would you mind if I sat here?"

[itneverwas]

Thankfully, Xemnas hadn't been anywhere near on choking on his breakfast or spilling his drink over the greys that made up the patient uniform, though it would have doubtlessly been a remarkable yet rare sight had any of the Nobody's subordinates been present. Instead, he was as calm as ever. "It would be wise to watch your step, Kibitoshin," he commented simply before taking a sip of his juice. His words contained no annoyance or anything of the sort. If anything, it was spoken as a mere observation.

The hopeful look didn't escape his notice, and neither did the man's seemingly troubled mood. Xemnas saw no particular reason to deny this man a seat, however, so he made a fluid gesture towards the vacant seat beside him.

"I would not mind," he spoke.

[bitpartgod]

There it was again, that casual confidence that made Kibitoshin blush to his roots with self-consciousness. This was exactly the sort of thing the shadow had been talking about: stumbling around like an idiot all the time. It was just lucky that Xemnas was the calm sort- he doubted Franziska would have taken so well to someone interrupting her breakfast like that, which really would have been the last thing he needed this morning. Then again, maybe that would have been better. He certainly needed to be shouted at.

"Thank you, sorry again," he mumbled quickly, taking a seat while he tried to control his reaction. Goodness. Even for him this was terrible. He forced himself to look up, swallowing down his embarrassment before it really took over. "S-sorry. I've just been a little bit distracted."

He paused. Then again, Xemnas had never been unfair to him. A little scary, yes, but he didn't seem like he meant to be intimidating- more like he just woke up every morning like it. Maybe... "Um... Xemnas? Could I ask you for some advice?" It came out more or less as one word, couldiaskyouforsmadvice?, but he didn't lower his gaze.

[itneverwas]

"Advice?" Xemnas echoed. Though the question had been spoken as if it was but a single word, the Nobody was more than capable of comprehending its meaning. He raised a single silver eyebrow, the only indication that he hadn't entirely expected the request.

But he did not fail to see certain useful advantages in the act of someone asking him for advice, so he would hardly mind hearing Kibitoshin out. Perhaps providing this man defined by light the thing he sought would open certain paths, would strengthen his use in this world. Xemnas saw no harm; though he could not help but to experience a memory of curiosity.

"Very well," he spoke, nodding, before gesturing for Kibitoshin to go on. "Tell me, my friend; for what would you seek my advice?"

[bitpartgod]

Kibitoshin's shoulders sagged with relief. Thank goodness for that. If there was one person around here he thought might be smart enough to know about this but also not-scary enough to not hold it against him for asking, it was Xemnas.

He barely paused for breath. "Well, if somethi-" But hold on a second. Did he really want to admit everything that had happened, that was happening in his head, just like that? Never mind the fact that he'd only spoken to Xemnas a few times now, it wasn't really fair of him to just dump in all in the man's lap and expect him to help. Subtlety would be required.

An awkward gulp. "I have this friend."

Oh, dear.

"Something... something bad happened where they lived, and they were too weak to stop it," he explained, realising vaguely that his line of sight was dropping lower and lower. Maybe he needed to abstract it a little. Make it less obviously about him. "Like, say... say there was a pancake shortage, but they didn't know how to make pancakes at the time."

Oh dear.

Kibitoshin persisted- well, he wasn't about to give up now. Not when the answer was possibly so close to him. Slowly, slowly, he lifted his eyes again, and though he didn't realise it that hopeful, anxious look had returned in full force. "Is it still their fault that it happened?"

[itneverwas]

Pancakes? A remarkable metaphor to use for something that had apparently happened to Kibitoshin's homeworld. The other patient's behavior was too troubled for it to be otherwise; the attempt to refer to a friend only seemed to emphasize his shame regarding whatever it was that had occurred. Xemnas could see through it effortlessly. See through it, but also see its use. Emotion was rather easy to exploit after all.

Interestingly; what was this 'bad' thing that had happened?

The Superior did not speak right away, instead calmly considering his answer as he continued on his breakfast. There was certainly no question where Kibitoshin had found the inspiration for such a curious metaphor.

"It is common for those part of the light to allow themselves to be guided by the feeling of guilt," he answered eventually, seeing little reason to use the other patient's manner of covering things up when all of it was so obvious. "But it is understandable, for you have a heart."

He paused, directing his gaze towards the other patient. "Allow me a question, then. Why is it that you feel guilty for what has occurred?"

[bitpartgod]

The pause before Xemnas answered was almost painful- moreso when he actually spoke. It was the 'you' that make Kibitoshin's face fall. Ah. The initial shock that his clever attempts to subtly move the conversation had been seen right through wore off almost instantly- w-well, of course he had! Even he wouldn't have fallen for that himself. It was just lucky for him that there was nothing in the man's voice that suggested anything but considered interest- no judging, no mocking, even if that look made the Kaioshin shift about in his seat, as though he'd been pinned right down.

Which meant he had to answer. He swallowed, even if his mouth was dry, pushing pancake uncomfortably around his plate while he tried to formulate a response. Just how could he explain it to Xemnas when he could barely explain it to himself?

After a moment, he tried. He couldn't let himself get nauseous. "I... something attacked my home planet. It got everyone, except for me, and my master-- my master gave himself up to help me." He was doing well. He didn't feel dizzy yet. "I should have been able to save them. If I'd gone instead they would have been able to-" Kibitoshin's eyes squeezed closed for a moment while he caught his breath, willing his emotions to die down to some sort of level he could control, some sort of level where he could be sure he wouldn't make a fool of myself. "They shouldn't have had to die."

[itneverwas]

The guilt of having survived, hmm? It was typical of many defined by light to worry about such needless things. To allow themselves to be guided - no, chained by this guilt. It would hinder them on their further paths, haunt them no matter how much they rushed forward. It was a foolish and unnecessary emotion. This man was merely another example. Xemnas was not too interested in attempting to console him, yet there was hardly a reason to needlessly antagonize the patients here; after all, he needed to work with them.

"If you were truly too weak to stop it, I doubt your obliteration would have made any difference in your world's fate and that of its inhabitants," he commented simply, before he asked: "What was this power that had attacked your world?"

[bitpartgod]

Xemnas had answered in the usual calm monotone, the same way he managed to make everything sound like he was describing the weather, or asking someone to pass him the salt. But for Kibitoshin, hanging on the man's every word like a limpet, every indifferent syllable was worth listening to, so much so that the second part of his comment almost passed him by completely.

"You... you really think so?" He had to work to speak around the lump in his throat. It felt like there was a lump in his stomach, too- he could already hear the objections start to fire up. But if I'd trained harder... but if I'd tried... but if the Dai Kaioshin had survived...

Quickly, he clenched up- hands, fists, teeth, eyes, muscles jarred- to try and stop himself. This... this was something. He had to cling to it.

He looked up, slowly relaxing, gaze about level with Xemnas' collar bone (the eyes were too much for now). There had been a question there, right? He could focus on that. "The wizard Bibidi created a terrible, planet-destroying monster called Majin Buu. It came to our planet, in Other World."