Music Meme: RoyEd
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: RoyxEd(other pairings include: HughesxGracia and MilesxOlivier ftw :D)
Rating: T overall
Warnings: Language, Sexual themes, Fluff, Angst, light gore, Ed learning how to drive and zombies.
Summary:Ten ficlets inspired by music. Contains: Language, Sexual themes, fluff, Angst, light gore, Ed learning how to drive and zombies. Oh my!
Enjoy
See authors notes at the end.
Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or the characters, only the writing is mine.
Fullmetal Alchemist © Hiromu Arakawa
Music Meme for Writers
1. Pick a character, fandom, pairing, friendship, whatever.
2. Put on your music program on shuffle/random and start playing songs.
3. For each song, write something inspired by the song related to the theme you chose earlier. You only have the song length. No pre-planning and no writing after the song is over. No skipping songs either.
4. Do 10 songs and post. Make sure to include the song name/artist.
1.) The Scientist- Coldplay
Through the window the early morning was pale blue, almost soft, with even paler grey scudding clouds. It was bound to be a moment, that he would not be able to remember without a drink in his hand for some time. Perhaps for the rest of his life. Roy wondered, as he lay watching the dawn chase away the eventide, why he could only think about a very different morning almost half a year earlier.
Perhaps it was the way things were always going to end up. One chaotic mess of a relationship with so much love diluted with equal parts of hurt and peppered with moments of the life they'd shared.
He loved him. Loved him, loved him, loved him...and -quieter, whispering up over the stained sheets of their love making- ...and he loved her too.
He felt the blonde in his arms take a deep breath, -Roy closed his eyes and steeled himself for whatever was to come- a ghost of an exhale dancing along his skin, haunting his flesh with memories and goosebumps.
“Roy,” Oh God.
“I need to figure out --He was good at solving puzzles, fixing problems-- “what this is between me n'her.” --all but his own.--
“It's not fair --Why couldn't he fix this?-- “to anyone if we keep on pretending --Where had they gone wrong, they loved each other,-- “that whatever this is --wasn't that supposed to be enough?-- “doesn't exist,” --Where had he gone wrong?--
“Maybe once I figure it all out...maybe we could-”
“Can we just...,” his voice suddenly found purchase in his throat. Odd how it didn't sound as rough as it felt scraping along his windpipe. “Not talk about it right now, Ed.” And then there was silence from the blonde head tucked under his chin. The silence was agony, it said everything that was wrong with them, and why that silence hurt so damn much. Surely Edward could hear how loud his heart was pleading in his chest?
From under the sheets, a flesh toe wriggled itself out along side his leg, dithered down and nudged the bottom of his left foot.
“I love you,”
A stuttering breath, and NO he will NOT beg because he wants what's best for Edward. He wants Edward's happiness because that's what it means when he says “I love you too,” and cries silently on top of that golden head. His mind racing back to replay the last five months all over again.
2.) The Good Life- Three Days Grace
Just a good time.
That's what heated looks and years worth of sexual tension turned into. Never quite brushing the burden of his sins away but making them bearable, if only for one blissful moment.
There are moments when he can't recall who he is anymore, or what he is fighting so desperately towards. And then it all comes crashing down on him and he needs that little selfish bit to himself so much it fucking hurts.
Hold on...
-kisses that taste like whiskey-
Hold on...
-a body that gives as good as it gets-
Hold on...
-sweet nothings in his ear-
Hold on...
He never asked for it to turn out the way it did; never admit he secretly wanted it this way.
Mouth, hands, eyes all over his body and making him scream.
Just to feel it before he died, because any day could be his last.
It's just all he needs and he wishes it's what they both need when it's just a good time.
3.) Piano Man- Billy Joel
It's nine O'clock on a Saturday. Maes is sitting in our usual booth, making love to his tonic and gin and cooing to the picture of his wife when he turns to me and says with a grin, “Play us a song piano man.”
I make a show of looking put upon to answer my best friend's request but he knows sooner or later I'll sit down at the old upright piano, with its' scorched keys from a night of drunken debauchery, and give him what he wants. What they've all come to hear.
I make a quick detour and ask Miles if he'd accompany me on harmonica. I spare a gracious compliment to Olivier that she throws back in my face before shoving Miles towards the stage with the threat of not letting him top tonight if his performance is anything less than satisfactory. I believe every word she says, although I can't seem to think of it as a punishment.
As I begin to pick out a melody and Miles warms-up the harmonica, I look around the room catching familiar faces within the crowd.
Jean, at the bar, is another friend of mine, and he's done pretty damn well for himself in a wheelchair. He still tries to get me my drinks for free and some nights I let him. At another booth is Fuery, who passed everyone's expectations by becoming a millionaire with his radio project. It's good to see him down here every now and then. He's talking with Breda, who's still in the Army and probably will be for life being the strategist that he is. They all incline their heads towards me as I play, and I see in their shoulders a sort of relief that this song is here in a bar full of everyday people and not in that old, damp estate we were holed up in for a month, stranded, on the front.
Of course none of us came back unscathed; Hughes was nearly done in by a single gunshot to the chest, it was Havoc who saved his life though nothing could be done to save Jean's legs. Fuery lost a foot in the trenches( he got automail when he made it big), Breda carries the scars proudly on his face and arms where a dog mauled him( never mind that he's deathly afraid of them now), and I was legally blind for two years. Though by the grace of three surgeries and some asinine coke-bottle glasses, I am now able to see the keys beneath my fingers once more. Falman, Ross, Denny, Riza...and so many others never came back at all.
It haunts me some nights, as I know it does the others, of what we did and what we saw done. So I'll sing them a song as they drown their paychecks with their sorrows an' we all share in a drink they call loneliness because what are old war buddies for? But I know from experience it's better than drinking alone.
It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday, and there's one blonde head amongst the crowd that I know it's me he's been coming to see to forget about life for awhile. He sits at the edge of the bar, only orders two beers for the night and traces a steel finger in the grain of the wood, watching me with eyes of pure molten gold. I've talked to him on occasion, sometimes all night and into the morning before the manager kicks us out. We don't agree on politics, however, we see eye-to-eye about where we are in this world and where we keep on going from there. Sometimes we don't talk at all, we just sit and Maes goads me afterwords about taking a picture, 'I'll do it for a price,' he leers, 'cause it would last longer.
I catch Edward's eye, he grins and salutes me with his beer bottle. I know in that moment that I'm done with wallowing in my demons and I want to explore the world with him at my side as we keep moving forwards, onwards and upwards.
And tonight as I close the lid, I ask Jean for an extra drink and I sit next to the young man who's blinding smile enchants me more than the melodies I play to make others feel all right.
4.) Swing Life Away-Rise Against
We took a vacation, rented a house in the country, and Ed was gearing up for an all out tantrum when we rounded the corner and the house was a vivid pink with lime green shutters. The landlady seemed truly embarrassed, said her granddaughter had taken a liking to alchemy(it comes in mighty handy for repairs) but she was forever recoloring the cottages in ghastly colors.
Ed unwrinkled his nose, and went to inspect the walls, offering up a compliment to the girl's skill before he clapped and it was my turn to be embarrassed because he'd only changed the pink to a royal purple. But he'd added gargoyles on all four corners of the roof.
The next day two tomatoe plants arrived via a little girl with summer freckles and paint splattered overall-shorts, as a gift for our understanding. Ed put them on the front porch, talking to them like they were an experiment he was nurturing.
We explored the town, holding hands and bumping shoulders because we felt like it. We hiked out to the beach, I danced with him in the surf and was rewarded with a bruised foot and later had to help him clean out all the sand from his automail but it was worth it.
One morning Ed found a bright yellow flower on one of his tomatoe plants: he seemed pleased with himself. Two weeks later when it blossomed into a tiny green bulb, he pulled me away from an important conversation with the office on the phone to point it out. Ed truly looked breath-taking in the summer sun.
We lived that whole month out on the front porch in the swing, side-by-side, relearning each other as friends and lovers unfettered by the trappings of our daily lives.
Ed's head is laying in my lap, he's eating one of the tomatoes from his plant, the skin is firetruck red and juice is sliding down the corner of his mouth and chin. I have my hand in his hair as I rock us gently back and forth on the swing. We're talking alchemy and in that moment I can't help but think that we'll be just fine.
5.) Something I Can Never Have - Nine Inch Nails
I've always been a dreamer, reaching for things I could never have.
But when I reached for you, I never expected you to reach back for me.
The white glacial plains of your skin beneath the arctic chill of my palm has to be some kind of perfect union, a circle meeting with it's other side, like two different arrays matching up. That's what we are, arrays in my head, elements shifting and changing, deconstructing our little world and rebuilding it with a better understanding each time.
You made the nightmares go away, you made it all go away.
And I'm trying so hard to do the same for you, to be equivalent.
But you're shaking in my arms, whispering in my ear, 'I just want something...I just want something,”
“We can't have what that yet. We're not them,” I whispered. “Not yet. We haven't lived through what they have or seen what they've seen. We haven't made it there yet. But we will. We'll have each other. And It's not going to be easy but damnit it'll be worth it.”
6.) Roller-April Wine
“All right, now ease your foot off the brake and- Gently!”
“I. Am!”
“Flooring the gas pedal is not gently Fullmetal,”
“Fuck off, Colonel Bastard, I don't need driving lessons from you,”
“Well seeing as I am the one giving the lesson, with my own car might I add, the least you could do is not- WATCH FOR THE OLD WOMAN!!!”
Tires squealed and the car swerved, dangerously close to tipping, throwing Mustang around in his seat. The Colonel suddenly had a new found appreciation for seat belts.
“That's it pull over,” he said once his heart had quit trying to climb out of his throat.
“Quit distractin' me,” Ed grouched, golden eyes flickering over to the bruised Colonel beside him and up to the rear-view mirror to see the old woman, he had nearly run over, shake her umbrella at them.
“I said pull over, Fullmetal- ”
“I'm drivin'”
“-You're obviously not ready for the responsibility nor do you adhere to the rules of the road-”
Ed scowled and jammed on the brakes when the light at the approaching intersection suddenly turned red. Roy's knees collided sharply with the glove box effectively ending his sermon.
“Oops! Sorry Colonel,” the teen said sounding anything but apologetic. “I was just following the rules of the road.”
Mustang glared daggers at the teen, contemplating the best way to fry the newly turned sixteen year old to a crisp, when Ed turned to him and said. “You know what I need?”
'A booster seat,' Roy thought not for the first time noticing how close Ed had to sit to the steering wheel, his feet only touching the pedals by the grace of the thick rubber sole of his boots. He decided to bite. “What do you need Fullmetal?”
“ A good luck kiss,”
Roy blinked. “What?”
“A kiss for good luck. You know a little incentive to- ”
“I know what a good luck kiss is Fullmetal. What I am asking is why do you need one from me?”
“Who the fuck else would I ask?” he quirked a golden eyebrow, staring at Roy like he couldn't believe how obtuse he was being.
“The only way my lips would come in contact with any part of your body, Fullmetal, was if I was going to bite your head off,”
“Biting's fine but I like kissing. Kissing's better,”
Roy felt a jolt go down his spine as he appraised the blonde teen beside him. So Edward had delved into the world of hormones and sexuality and had discovered kissing as well as biting. And he liked it? Roy found himself wondering just who Edward was kissing (and biting) and if-he stopped himself short.
“I'm not kissing you,” he reaffirmed.
“Give me a kiss or I'll crash your car through the intersection,” Ed lifted his foot off the brake-the car rolled forward an inch.
“You're bluffing,” Roy yelled from the passenger seat, throwing his hands up on the dash though a lot of good that did him. 'He's crazy!' a voice in his head screeched. 'He's an Elric,' another voice answered. 'You thought you'd man up and give driving lessons to an Elric,'
“Am I?” the car continued to roll slowly forward.
“All Right!”
“Good, 'cause I'd hate to smash your car. It's kinda cool,” said Ed. Placing his foot firmly back on the brake he turned to face the Colonel, closing his eyes and puckering his lips for emphasize.
Roy felt his insides flutter with butterflies as he leaned over the seat towards the blonde. Just when the raven haired man had resigned himself to the task, an alternative presented itself. “I'll consider your first demand, if you can get us back to my place in one piece,” was that a slight husk in his voice?? Ed cracked one golden eye open and oh, he could see the argument already building on his tongue. Roy moved swiftly and smooched his cheek.“For now... consider that all the incentive you need.”
Ed smiled wide and made a show of looking both ways when the light turned green before lurching across the intersection.
“Utter brat,” Roy whispered to himself, propping his chin in his hand and failing to keep the corners of his mouth from quirking up into a smile.
7.) Missing- Evanescence
The clock proclaims it to be 1:43am. And all is not well. The house is relatively quiet, save for the occasional creak and groan, the ceiling-fan oscillates 'round and around, click-click-clicking the pull cords against the light fixture. The bed is too large, to barren for one body.
It's almost a quarter to two in the morning; where is my lover?
Hr left before noon the previous day, without a word, and there's been no word since. I shouldn't be worried, I tell myself for the third (hundredth) time. Edward's always been like that. And it's a difficult time for him after all, the brother's are so close to their goal, one I know he's bleed for it and he'll bleed even more of his soul before he reaches the end.
I worry for him, god help me I can't help it, and I know I don't say it enough but surely he knows that I love him.
That I'm sitting here at two o'clock in the morning missing him, terribly afraid.
8.) Epiphany- Staind
We see each other on the streets, in the halls of this house, I always catch of glimpse of you out of the corner of my eye. A flash of gold and red.
I'll wave, you smile. And I'll pretend I don't miss you.
I tell you things in the night, whisper them across the pillow and I'll pray you hear me where ever you are. Tonight I tell you of how I dreamed when you were away. We lived in the loft of a barn in the country and I made love to you all day in the hay.
But when I awoke, you were still gone and it felt as if my heart was breaking. So I lied, said it was only a dream- a make believe.
Hawkeye stopped by, again. She brought me food from Gracia, made sure I ate some and helped again with the eye. She never tries to talk me out of taking the northern boarder patrol but I know it's what she wants to say. I told her so too.
I don't know what it was I said and I don't care, every word was true. But I could have shot myself for putting those tears in corner of her eyes.
Oh but you're scowling at me for saying that now. I like it.
I'd shoot myself. I'd shoot myself. I'd shoot myself.
The biting sarcasm of your voice is a soothing balm to my skin, music to my ears. And is it so horrible that I love every second I can see you? Full of anger, so strong, distractingly beautiful, mine... before your voice goes flat, the dissonance fading out like a shattered note. You blur at the edges, a muddied wash of colors.
I count the days until my reassignment. They aren't long now, a few more days and it will only be the unforgiving winter and myself. Alone with my failure and my shame and you. Will you be a bright mark on the untainted snow? I wonder...
I need to see you. I need to hear you. I need to hold you. Just to know you're alive... I'd willing give up everything. I have given up everything. My rank, my team, my alchemy, even my goals. Please, take my sanity too Fullmetal. Take it to where you've gone. Break it into pieces and leave me a trail.
I need you. Just you...only you, love. Please it's so cold here.
'Whatever. Go sulk like the rotten coward that you are, Bastard,'-you disappear.
9.) The Only Time- Nine Inch Nails
The sky was awash with fading twilight, hazy heather-dyed clouds and sunrise pinks. Behind the trees of a neighboring building, Roy could see a burst of sun-burnt orange.
It was a beautiful morning, there was no denying that and he hated it.
It was childish-that was another reason to glare at the coming dawn-how one argument could fuck up the whole day. And the day hadn't even begun!
The raven haired man bit back an irritated sigh-he was not brooding about this-he was avoiding a confrontation that had escalated far beyond its' normal boundaries. But given the circumstances perhaps it was to be expected...
The sweat in his eyes, the blood pounding in his veins; he'd pressed Ed's back hard into the backseat of the car and later his bed. As messed up as it all was, he'd found everything he'd needed in Ed last night and he'd never felt so alive.
Mustang scrubbed a hand over his face, dully noting he had a faint trace of stubble on his chin. Whatever had possessed him to think that inviting Fullmetal home last night had obviously fled with the evening, leaving behind the proper makings for a hangover.
He closed his eyes and tried to think. Tried to put last night into context with what was normal. Edward Elric was a good friend, absolutely fantastic between the sheets and-
SLAM!-THUDTHUD!-CRASH!
He winced, -was destroying his furniture.
Roy glared at the lamppost on the corner; it flickered and went out. Feeling absurdly vindicated for no real-childish-reason, Roy Mustang took a deep breath of crisp morning air, found his balls and went to go see what Fullmetal was probably clap-fixing with alchemy.
10.) Bad Company- Five Finger Death Punch
“They're all set, Sir,” Riza called quietly into the gutted out building through the hole in the roof where she had a snipers' position on the area.
“All right,” Roy answered strapping another throwing knife to the brace on his forearm. These were all he had left of Hughes anymore. It was all that had come away when he'd tried to pull him back from the geeks before it had been too late, and foolish, to try and save him any longer. “Take care of Gracia!” he'd shouted above his screams as they'd torn the flesh from his face, sinking razor sharp teeth into his arms, opening up his stomach and falling to their hands and knees on the feast that splattered the ground.
Roy shook his head to clear his mind of the disturbing memories. He wondered if he'd ever have any that weren't from now on.
Their group was neither large nor was it small, they hadn't seen any one else to compare it to since they'd fled Resembool. Initially they'd headed East and made it to Ed and Al's home town to find much the same scene as they had escaped in Central. To both Elric's great relief their family was alive and well. They'd hidden and regrouped within the walls of Rockbell Automail and it was there that he and Ed had finally spoken of their feelings for on another and fallen into the throws of passion.
'And to think all it took was the damn world going to hell,' he thought grimly.
Their strong hold had not lasted, the undead had massed on their doorstep and they'd been forced to flee. They lost Fuery, and Hughes that day and Mrs. Rockbell had stauchly refused to leave her home. Instead she died defending it with her pipe between her lips and a shotgun in her hands.
Now all that was left was the Elrics, Ms. Rockbell, Gracia and her daughter, his first lieutenant, his only remaining second lieutenant, and himself.
Footsteps coming down the hallway. Roy tensed, across the room he heard Gracia click the safety off her gun, leveling his own firearm at the door Roy waited, holding his breath. Two quick knocks on the door, metal on metal, and his breath escaped him in a whoosh. He lowered his gun and watched the Elric brothers, first Alphonse and then Edward reenter the room.
“Bags are all packed, and the trucks are ready,” Al reported. “Winry was able to get them both started.
“Good, and Havoc?”
“Puffin' on enough cigarettes to be puttin' up smoke signals,” Ed said, he looked like he wanted to make a joke about it but the corners of his eyes were too tight.
“He'll run out if he's not careful.” Roy replied.
He turned to see Riza climbing back down through the hole in the roof. “Sir, there's a group starting to migrate in our direction.”
“We're out in one,” he ordered pulling on his jacket. It had been altered, of course all their uniforms and clothing had, the calvery-skirt was long forgotten, the braiding had been cut off along with his medals and any other unnecessary, easily graspable, fatal, accessories.
“Time to go kiddo,” Ed whispered going over to the child.
“Is it time to go get daddy?” she asked brightly.
“No sweetheart,” Gracia's voice wobbled as she readjusted the scarf Elysia wore around her head, holding a finger to her lips before it covered her green eyes. Al picked her up and tucked Elysia close to his chest. Standing up Gracia placed a hand in the front pocket of her late-husband's coat where she kept his glasses, and wiped at the corner of her eye. She pulled in a deep breath, checked her gun and went to go stand by her daughter at the door.
Ed walked up beside him. “Ready?”
“You've got enough ammo?”
“Yeah,” he patted his pocket. “Made sure everyone had plenty before we went out to the trucks.”
“Remember to keep your finger off the trigger until your ready to shoot, make sure you have the safety off when you do, keep your thumb clear of the jam, and-”
Ed stood up on the tips of his toes, and pressed a quick kiss to Roy's chapped lips. “And don't forget to double-tap, I know.”
Roy offered him a tight smile; quashed the worry and last minute speeches down. “Let's go,” he gripped Ed's shoulder, squeezing it tightly before he let go.
At the door he held up a hand, looked at all the anxious faces staring back at him, counted down from five and on one they ran.
A/N: So I did a music meme awhile back and forgot about it.
Some of these I am quite proud of and others not so much.
Some individual thoughts:
1.) Overall I'm happy with this one, except for that little section in the middle, I wanted to show Roy's thoughts in between Ed's words(breaking it apart into chunks, well felt chunky) so I tried something a bit new and I think I was in love with dashes when I wrote this. I hope it's understandable. ^^;
2.) Pretty self explanatory I think. No real comments.
3.)I give to you all my Piano Man feels!
4.) Because Ed raising a tomatoe plant is cute as all hell for some reson.
5.)I couldn't come up with a solid idea here and the song ended before I was finished, so I guess this one is kind of a bust. :/
6.)The story actually has nothing to do with the song at all but I listened to it so much while I was learning to drive that it has become synonymous with the experience.
7.) Not overly satisfied with this one.
8.)Set in the time between the ending of the first anime and the beginning of CoS, where Roy is healing from his battle with Bradley and awaiting his deployment to the North. I think during this time Roy would have had a very hard time adjusting to the world he woke up to and even without having written them as being lovers, I think Roy would have still be haunted by visions of Fullmetal and would have done near anything to keep him there in his sight.
9.) The ever famous 'morning after'.
10.) So insanely proud of this little one right here, you have no idea how hard it was to stop once the music was done and to not keep going into a series.
all my fics can be found here
Pairing: RoyxEd(other pairings include: HughesxGracia and MilesxOlivier ftw :D)
Rating: T overall
Warnings: Language, Sexual themes, Fluff, Angst, light gore, Ed learning how to drive and zombies.
Summary:Ten ficlets inspired by music. Contains: Language, Sexual themes, fluff, Angst, light gore, Ed learning how to drive and zombies. Oh my!
Enjoy
See authors notes at the end.
Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or the characters, only the writing is mine.
Fullmetal Alchemist © Hiromu Arakawa
Music Meme for Writers
1. Pick a character, fandom, pairing, friendship, whatever.
2. Put on your music program on shuffle/random and start playing songs.
3. For each song, write something inspired by the song related to the theme you chose earlier. You only have the song length. No pre-planning and no writing after the song is over. No skipping songs either.
4. Do 10 songs and post. Make sure to include the song name/artist.
1.) The Scientist- Coldplay
Through the window the early morning was pale blue, almost soft, with even paler grey scudding clouds. It was bound to be a moment, that he would not be able to remember without a drink in his hand for some time. Perhaps for the rest of his life. Roy wondered, as he lay watching the dawn chase away the eventide, why he could only think about a very different morning almost half a year earlier.
Perhaps it was the way things were always going to end up. One chaotic mess of a relationship with so much love diluted with equal parts of hurt and peppered with moments of the life they'd shared.
He loved him. Loved him, loved him, loved him...and -quieter, whispering up over the stained sheets of their love making- ...and he loved her too.
He felt the blonde in his arms take a deep breath, -Roy closed his eyes and steeled himself for whatever was to come- a ghost of an exhale dancing along his skin, haunting his flesh with memories and goosebumps.
“Roy,” Oh God.
“I need to figure out --He was good at solving puzzles, fixing problems-- “what this is between me n'her.” --all but his own.--
“It's not fair --Why couldn't he fix this?-- “to anyone if we keep on pretending --Where had they gone wrong, they loved each other,-- “that whatever this is --wasn't that supposed to be enough?-- “doesn't exist,” --Where had he gone wrong?--
“Maybe once I figure it all out...maybe we could-”
“Can we just...,” his voice suddenly found purchase in his throat. Odd how it didn't sound as rough as it felt scraping along his windpipe. “Not talk about it right now, Ed.” And then there was silence from the blonde head tucked under his chin. The silence was agony, it said everything that was wrong with them, and why that silence hurt so damn much. Surely Edward could hear how loud his heart was pleading in his chest?
From under the sheets, a flesh toe wriggled itself out along side his leg, dithered down and nudged the bottom of his left foot.
“I love you,”
A stuttering breath, and NO he will NOT beg because he wants what's best for Edward. He wants Edward's happiness because that's what it means when he says “I love you too,” and cries silently on top of that golden head. His mind racing back to replay the last five months all over again.
2.) The Good Life- Three Days Grace
Just a good time.
That's what heated looks and years worth of sexual tension turned into. Never quite brushing the burden of his sins away but making them bearable, if only for one blissful moment.
There are moments when he can't recall who he is anymore, or what he is fighting so desperately towards. And then it all comes crashing down on him and he needs that little selfish bit to himself so much it fucking hurts.
Hold on...
-kisses that taste like whiskey-
Hold on...
-a body that gives as good as it gets-
Hold on...
-sweet nothings in his ear-
Hold on...
He never asked for it to turn out the way it did; never admit he secretly wanted it this way.
Mouth, hands, eyes all over his body and making him scream.
Just to feel it before he died, because any day could be his last.
It's just all he needs and he wishes it's what they both need when it's just a good time.
3.) Piano Man- Billy Joel
It's nine O'clock on a Saturday. Maes is sitting in our usual booth, making love to his tonic and gin and cooing to the picture of his wife when he turns to me and says with a grin, “Play us a song piano man.”
I make a show of looking put upon to answer my best friend's request but he knows sooner or later I'll sit down at the old upright piano, with its' scorched keys from a night of drunken debauchery, and give him what he wants. What they've all come to hear.
I make a quick detour and ask Miles if he'd accompany me on harmonica. I spare a gracious compliment to Olivier that she throws back in my face before shoving Miles towards the stage with the threat of not letting him top tonight if his performance is anything less than satisfactory. I believe every word she says, although I can't seem to think of it as a punishment.
As I begin to pick out a melody and Miles warms-up the harmonica, I look around the room catching familiar faces within the crowd.
Jean, at the bar, is another friend of mine, and he's done pretty damn well for himself in a wheelchair. He still tries to get me my drinks for free and some nights I let him. At another booth is Fuery, who passed everyone's expectations by becoming a millionaire with his radio project. It's good to see him down here every now and then. He's talking with Breda, who's still in the Army and probably will be for life being the strategist that he is. They all incline their heads towards me as I play, and I see in their shoulders a sort of relief that this song is here in a bar full of everyday people and not in that old, damp estate we were holed up in for a month, stranded, on the front.
Of course none of us came back unscathed; Hughes was nearly done in by a single gunshot to the chest, it was Havoc who saved his life though nothing could be done to save Jean's legs. Fuery lost a foot in the trenches( he got automail when he made it big), Breda carries the scars proudly on his face and arms where a dog mauled him( never mind that he's deathly afraid of them now), and I was legally blind for two years. Though by the grace of three surgeries and some asinine coke-bottle glasses, I am now able to see the keys beneath my fingers once more. Falman, Ross, Denny, Riza...and so many others never came back at all.
It haunts me some nights, as I know it does the others, of what we did and what we saw done. So I'll sing them a song as they drown their paychecks with their sorrows an' we all share in a drink they call loneliness because what are old war buddies for? But I know from experience it's better than drinking alone.
It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday, and there's one blonde head amongst the crowd that I know it's me he's been coming to see to forget about life for awhile. He sits at the edge of the bar, only orders two beers for the night and traces a steel finger in the grain of the wood, watching me with eyes of pure molten gold. I've talked to him on occasion, sometimes all night and into the morning before the manager kicks us out. We don't agree on politics, however, we see eye-to-eye about where we are in this world and where we keep on going from there. Sometimes we don't talk at all, we just sit and Maes goads me afterwords about taking a picture, 'I'll do it for a price,' he leers, 'cause it would last longer.
I catch Edward's eye, he grins and salutes me with his beer bottle. I know in that moment that I'm done with wallowing in my demons and I want to explore the world with him at my side as we keep moving forwards, onwards and upwards.
And tonight as I close the lid, I ask Jean for an extra drink and I sit next to the young man who's blinding smile enchants me more than the melodies I play to make others feel all right.
4.) Swing Life Away-Rise Against
We took a vacation, rented a house in the country, and Ed was gearing up for an all out tantrum when we rounded the corner and the house was a vivid pink with lime green shutters. The landlady seemed truly embarrassed, said her granddaughter had taken a liking to alchemy(it comes in mighty handy for repairs) but she was forever recoloring the cottages in ghastly colors.
Ed unwrinkled his nose, and went to inspect the walls, offering up a compliment to the girl's skill before he clapped and it was my turn to be embarrassed because he'd only changed the pink to a royal purple. But he'd added gargoyles on all four corners of the roof.
The next day two tomatoe plants arrived via a little girl with summer freckles and paint splattered overall-shorts, as a gift for our understanding. Ed put them on the front porch, talking to them like they were an experiment he was nurturing.
We explored the town, holding hands and bumping shoulders because we felt like it. We hiked out to the beach, I danced with him in the surf and was rewarded with a bruised foot and later had to help him clean out all the sand from his automail but it was worth it.
One morning Ed found a bright yellow flower on one of his tomatoe plants: he seemed pleased with himself. Two weeks later when it blossomed into a tiny green bulb, he pulled me away from an important conversation with the office on the phone to point it out. Ed truly looked breath-taking in the summer sun.
We lived that whole month out on the front porch in the swing, side-by-side, relearning each other as friends and lovers unfettered by the trappings of our daily lives.
Ed's head is laying in my lap, he's eating one of the tomatoes from his plant, the skin is firetruck red and juice is sliding down the corner of his mouth and chin. I have my hand in his hair as I rock us gently back and forth on the swing. We're talking alchemy and in that moment I can't help but think that we'll be just fine.
5.) Something I Can Never Have - Nine Inch Nails
I've always been a dreamer, reaching for things I could never have.
But when I reached for you, I never expected you to reach back for me.
The white glacial plains of your skin beneath the arctic chill of my palm has to be some kind of perfect union, a circle meeting with it's other side, like two different arrays matching up. That's what we are, arrays in my head, elements shifting and changing, deconstructing our little world and rebuilding it with a better understanding each time.
You made the nightmares go away, you made it all go away.
And I'm trying so hard to do the same for you, to be equivalent.
But you're shaking in my arms, whispering in my ear, 'I just want something...I just want something,”
“We can't have what that yet. We're not them,” I whispered. “Not yet. We haven't lived through what they have or seen what they've seen. We haven't made it there yet. But we will. We'll have each other. And It's not going to be easy but damnit it'll be worth it.”
6.) Roller-April Wine
“All right, now ease your foot off the brake and- Gently!”
“I. Am!”
“Flooring the gas pedal is not gently Fullmetal,”
“Fuck off, Colonel Bastard, I don't need driving lessons from you,”
“Well seeing as I am the one giving the lesson, with my own car might I add, the least you could do is not- WATCH FOR THE OLD WOMAN!!!”
Tires squealed and the car swerved, dangerously close to tipping, throwing Mustang around in his seat. The Colonel suddenly had a new found appreciation for seat belts.
“That's it pull over,” he said once his heart had quit trying to climb out of his throat.
“Quit distractin' me,” Ed grouched, golden eyes flickering over to the bruised Colonel beside him and up to the rear-view mirror to see the old woman, he had nearly run over, shake her umbrella at them.
“I said pull over, Fullmetal- ”
“I'm drivin'”
“-You're obviously not ready for the responsibility nor do you adhere to the rules of the road-”
Ed scowled and jammed on the brakes when the light at the approaching intersection suddenly turned red. Roy's knees collided sharply with the glove box effectively ending his sermon.
“Oops! Sorry Colonel,” the teen said sounding anything but apologetic. “I was just following the rules of the road.”
Mustang glared daggers at the teen, contemplating the best way to fry the newly turned sixteen year old to a crisp, when Ed turned to him and said. “You know what I need?”
'A booster seat,' Roy thought not for the first time noticing how close Ed had to sit to the steering wheel, his feet only touching the pedals by the grace of the thick rubber sole of his boots. He decided to bite. “What do you need Fullmetal?”
“ A good luck kiss,”
Roy blinked. “What?”
“A kiss for good luck. You know a little incentive to- ”
“I know what a good luck kiss is Fullmetal. What I am asking is why do you need one from me?”
“Who the fuck else would I ask?” he quirked a golden eyebrow, staring at Roy like he couldn't believe how obtuse he was being.
“The only way my lips would come in contact with any part of your body, Fullmetal, was if I was going to bite your head off,”
“Biting's fine but I like kissing. Kissing's better,”
Roy felt a jolt go down his spine as he appraised the blonde teen beside him. So Edward had delved into the world of hormones and sexuality and had discovered kissing as well as biting. And he liked it? Roy found himself wondering just who Edward was kissing (and biting) and if-he stopped himself short.
“I'm not kissing you,” he reaffirmed.
“Give me a kiss or I'll crash your car through the intersection,” Ed lifted his foot off the brake-the car rolled forward an inch.
“You're bluffing,” Roy yelled from the passenger seat, throwing his hands up on the dash though a lot of good that did him. 'He's crazy!' a voice in his head screeched. 'He's an Elric,' another voice answered. 'You thought you'd man up and give driving lessons to an Elric,'
“Am I?” the car continued to roll slowly forward.
“All Right!”
“Good, 'cause I'd hate to smash your car. It's kinda cool,” said Ed. Placing his foot firmly back on the brake he turned to face the Colonel, closing his eyes and puckering his lips for emphasize.
Roy felt his insides flutter with butterflies as he leaned over the seat towards the blonde. Just when the raven haired man had resigned himself to the task, an alternative presented itself. “I'll consider your first demand, if you can get us back to my place in one piece,” was that a slight husk in his voice?? Ed cracked one golden eye open and oh, he could see the argument already building on his tongue. Roy moved swiftly and smooched his cheek.“For now... consider that all the incentive you need.”
Ed smiled wide and made a show of looking both ways when the light turned green before lurching across the intersection.
“Utter brat,” Roy whispered to himself, propping his chin in his hand and failing to keep the corners of his mouth from quirking up into a smile.
7.) Missing- Evanescence
The clock proclaims it to be 1:43am. And all is not well. The house is relatively quiet, save for the occasional creak and groan, the ceiling-fan oscillates 'round and around, click-click-clicking the pull cords against the light fixture. The bed is too large, to barren for one body.
It's almost a quarter to two in the morning; where is my lover?
Hr left before noon the previous day, without a word, and there's been no word since. I shouldn't be worried, I tell myself for the third (hundredth) time. Edward's always been like that. And it's a difficult time for him after all, the brother's are so close to their goal, one I know he's bleed for it and he'll bleed even more of his soul before he reaches the end.
I worry for him, god help me I can't help it, and I know I don't say it enough but surely he knows that I love him.
That I'm sitting here at two o'clock in the morning missing him, terribly afraid.
8.) Epiphany- Staind
We see each other on the streets, in the halls of this house, I always catch of glimpse of you out of the corner of my eye. A flash of gold and red.
I'll wave, you smile. And I'll pretend I don't miss you.
I tell you things in the night, whisper them across the pillow and I'll pray you hear me where ever you are. Tonight I tell you of how I dreamed when you were away. We lived in the loft of a barn in the country and I made love to you all day in the hay.
But when I awoke, you were still gone and it felt as if my heart was breaking. So I lied, said it was only a dream- a make believe.
Hawkeye stopped by, again. She brought me food from Gracia, made sure I ate some and helped again with the eye. She never tries to talk me out of taking the northern boarder patrol but I know it's what she wants to say. I told her so too.
I don't know what it was I said and I don't care, every word was true. But I could have shot myself for putting those tears in corner of her eyes.
Oh but you're scowling at me for saying that now. I like it.
I'd shoot myself. I'd shoot myself. I'd shoot myself.
The biting sarcasm of your voice is a soothing balm to my skin, music to my ears. And is it so horrible that I love every second I can see you? Full of anger, so strong, distractingly beautiful, mine... before your voice goes flat, the dissonance fading out like a shattered note. You blur at the edges, a muddied wash of colors.
I count the days until my reassignment. They aren't long now, a few more days and it will only be the unforgiving winter and myself. Alone with my failure and my shame and you. Will you be a bright mark on the untainted snow? I wonder...
I need to see you. I need to hear you. I need to hold you. Just to know you're alive... I'd willing give up everything. I have given up everything. My rank, my team, my alchemy, even my goals. Please, take my sanity too Fullmetal. Take it to where you've gone. Break it into pieces and leave me a trail.
I need you. Just you...only you, love. Please it's so cold here.
'Whatever. Go sulk like the rotten coward that you are, Bastard,'-you disappear.
9.) The Only Time- Nine Inch Nails
The sky was awash with fading twilight, hazy heather-dyed clouds and sunrise pinks. Behind the trees of a neighboring building, Roy could see a burst of sun-burnt orange.
It was a beautiful morning, there was no denying that and he hated it.
It was childish-that was another reason to glare at the coming dawn-how one argument could fuck up the whole day. And the day hadn't even begun!
The raven haired man bit back an irritated sigh-he was not brooding about this-he was avoiding a confrontation that had escalated far beyond its' normal boundaries. But given the circumstances perhaps it was to be expected...
The sweat in his eyes, the blood pounding in his veins; he'd pressed Ed's back hard into the backseat of the car and later his bed. As messed up as it all was, he'd found everything he'd needed in Ed last night and he'd never felt so alive.
Mustang scrubbed a hand over his face, dully noting he had a faint trace of stubble on his chin. Whatever had possessed him to think that inviting Fullmetal home last night had obviously fled with the evening, leaving behind the proper makings for a hangover.
He closed his eyes and tried to think. Tried to put last night into context with what was normal. Edward Elric was a good friend, absolutely fantastic between the sheets and-
SLAM!-THUDTHUD!-CRASH!
He winced, -was destroying his furniture.
Roy glared at the lamppost on the corner; it flickered and went out. Feeling absurdly vindicated for no real-childish-reason, Roy Mustang took a deep breath of crisp morning air, found his balls and went to go see what Fullmetal was probably clap-fixing with alchemy.
10.) Bad Company- Five Finger Death Punch
“They're all set, Sir,” Riza called quietly into the gutted out building through the hole in the roof where she had a snipers' position on the area.
“All right,” Roy answered strapping another throwing knife to the brace on his forearm. These were all he had left of Hughes anymore. It was all that had come away when he'd tried to pull him back from the geeks before it had been too late, and foolish, to try and save him any longer. “Take care of Gracia!” he'd shouted above his screams as they'd torn the flesh from his face, sinking razor sharp teeth into his arms, opening up his stomach and falling to their hands and knees on the feast that splattered the ground.
Roy shook his head to clear his mind of the disturbing memories. He wondered if he'd ever have any that weren't from now on.
Their group was neither large nor was it small, they hadn't seen any one else to compare it to since they'd fled Resembool. Initially they'd headed East and made it to Ed and Al's home town to find much the same scene as they had escaped in Central. To both Elric's great relief their family was alive and well. They'd hidden and regrouped within the walls of Rockbell Automail and it was there that he and Ed had finally spoken of their feelings for on another and fallen into the throws of passion.
'And to think all it took was the damn world going to hell,' he thought grimly.
Their strong hold had not lasted, the undead had massed on their doorstep and they'd been forced to flee. They lost Fuery, and Hughes that day and Mrs. Rockbell had stauchly refused to leave her home. Instead she died defending it with her pipe between her lips and a shotgun in her hands.
Now all that was left was the Elrics, Ms. Rockbell, Gracia and her daughter, his first lieutenant, his only remaining second lieutenant, and himself.
Footsteps coming down the hallway. Roy tensed, across the room he heard Gracia click the safety off her gun, leveling his own firearm at the door Roy waited, holding his breath. Two quick knocks on the door, metal on metal, and his breath escaped him in a whoosh. He lowered his gun and watched the Elric brothers, first Alphonse and then Edward reenter the room.
“Bags are all packed, and the trucks are ready,” Al reported. “Winry was able to get them both started.
“Good, and Havoc?”
“Puffin' on enough cigarettes to be puttin' up smoke signals,” Ed said, he looked like he wanted to make a joke about it but the corners of his eyes were too tight.
“He'll run out if he's not careful.” Roy replied.
He turned to see Riza climbing back down through the hole in the roof. “Sir, there's a group starting to migrate in our direction.”
“We're out in one,” he ordered pulling on his jacket. It had been altered, of course all their uniforms and clothing had, the calvery-skirt was long forgotten, the braiding had been cut off along with his medals and any other unnecessary, easily graspable, fatal, accessories.
“Time to go kiddo,” Ed whispered going over to the child.
“Is it time to go get daddy?” she asked brightly.
“No sweetheart,” Gracia's voice wobbled as she readjusted the scarf Elysia wore around her head, holding a finger to her lips before it covered her green eyes. Al picked her up and tucked Elysia close to his chest. Standing up Gracia placed a hand in the front pocket of her late-husband's coat where she kept his glasses, and wiped at the corner of her eye. She pulled in a deep breath, checked her gun and went to go stand by her daughter at the door.
Ed walked up beside him. “Ready?”
“You've got enough ammo?”
“Yeah,” he patted his pocket. “Made sure everyone had plenty before we went out to the trucks.”
“Remember to keep your finger off the trigger until your ready to shoot, make sure you have the safety off when you do, keep your thumb clear of the jam, and-”
Ed stood up on the tips of his toes, and pressed a quick kiss to Roy's chapped lips. “And don't forget to double-tap, I know.”
Roy offered him a tight smile; quashed the worry and last minute speeches down. “Let's go,” he gripped Ed's shoulder, squeezing it tightly before he let go.
At the door he held up a hand, looked at all the anxious faces staring back at him, counted down from five and on one they ran.
A/N: So I did a music meme awhile back and forgot about it.
Some of these I am quite proud of and others not so much.
Some individual thoughts:
1.) Overall I'm happy with this one, except for that little section in the middle, I wanted to show Roy's thoughts in between Ed's words(breaking it apart into chunks, well felt chunky) so I tried something a bit new and I think I was in love with dashes when I wrote this. I hope it's understandable. ^^;
2.) Pretty self explanatory I think. No real comments.
3.)I give to you all my Piano Man feels!
4.) Because Ed raising a tomatoe plant is cute as all hell for some reson.
5.)I couldn't come up with a solid idea here and the song ended before I was finished, so I guess this one is kind of a bust. :/
6.)The story actually has nothing to do with the song at all but I listened to it so much while I was learning to drive that it has become synonymous with the experience.
7.) Not overly satisfied with this one.
8.)Set in the time between the ending of the first anime and the beginning of CoS, where Roy is healing from his battle with Bradley and awaiting his deployment to the North. I think during this time Roy would have had a very hard time adjusting to the world he woke up to and even without having written them as being lovers, I think Roy would have still be haunted by visions of Fullmetal and would have done near anything to keep him there in his sight.
9.) The ever famous 'morning after'.
10.) So insanely proud of this little one right here, you have no idea how hard it was to stop once the music was done and to not keep going into a series.
all my fics can be found here