This is me, missin you
Death…
Even the word brings an uneasy feeling to me, and as I seem to be getting older, it seems to be something that I’ve been having to deal with more and more. I’m settled into my late 20’s and it seems like those that I’ve grown up around and slowly starting to pass away.
My great grandmother passed a way a couple of years ago and that hit me really hard as she was really the tying bind that held much of my family both close and distant, together. I can honestly say that despite my families deep seeded love for eachother, we’re not the same as we used to be. Both in good and bad ways. I mean there are distant relatives that were brought closer together by the death of this family member, but it also seems like we’re slowly losing that excuse for people to get together. That excuse seems to be memorials and funerals which makes me sad.
This passed summer my great aunt passed away and I wasn’t able to make it to the memorial. This disappointed me greatly because I love being able to be there for those I love and she was one that truly struck me as such an awesome person for as long as I can remember. I can’t tell you when the last time it was that I saw one of her children/grandchildren, but all be damned if I can’t tell you the last time I saw her come through the door way.
Still, that being family in the flesh and blood didn’t get to me, more than thinking of the good times and how much that person was going to be missed, but they’d always be in my heart.
Recently my best friends mom passed away. I would always see her growing up during high school an there was alway the the occasional “hello” when i’d see her whenever i’d drop through to the house, or I was invited out do dinner. Always cordial and always welcoming whenever I was around.
Why this hit me so hard, was the fact that I can’t imaging losing a parent. I can’t imagine getting the call telling my that my mother or father has less than a week to live and I better get down there to say my last goodbyes. This happened recently with my good friend and it really got to me. I know when that does happen to me, I’m going to really lose my shit. Close friends saw how I was when my dog had to be put down, and there are times I can’t really think about it without at least getting misty before regaining my composure. I don’t know how it’s going to be when this time comes, but I really hope that when it does happen, I’ll get to spend those moments with that person, just to know that I’m there for them and will always be there for them, because I love them. They are the reason I’m in this world, they are why I am the person that I am today. Everybody makes mistakes, but those are overlooked by the love that you have for one another and no matter what, it’s that love that makes the bond tight.
I’ll probably pick up the phone just to call my parents and tell them that I love them. Why? Because I don’t really know how it’s going to be when I can’t hear those words of undying love returned over the phone. So for those that have lost their loved one, parent or someone close to them, I admire you for your courage and your strength, and I thank you for reminding me of what I still have and how much I need to show them my love.
xo
“We’re all missin you, I’ve gotta keep on movin strong, We’re all missin you, it’s all I know since you’ve been gone…”
Ribsys Nickel *Missin You*
Even the word brings an uneasy feeling to me, and as I seem to be getting older, it seems to be something that I’ve been having to deal with more and more. I’m settled into my late 20’s and it seems like those that I’ve grown up around and slowly starting to pass away.
My great grandmother passed a way a couple of years ago and that hit me really hard as she was really the tying bind that held much of my family both close and distant, together. I can honestly say that despite my families deep seeded love for eachother, we’re not the same as we used to be. Both in good and bad ways. I mean there are distant relatives that were brought closer together by the death of this family member, but it also seems like we’re slowly losing that excuse for people to get together. That excuse seems to be memorials and funerals which makes me sad.
This passed summer my great aunt passed away and I wasn’t able to make it to the memorial. This disappointed me greatly because I love being able to be there for those I love and she was one that truly struck me as such an awesome person for as long as I can remember. I can’t tell you when the last time it was that I saw one of her children/grandchildren, but all be damned if I can’t tell you the last time I saw her come through the door way.
Still, that being family in the flesh and blood didn’t get to me, more than thinking of the good times and how much that person was going to be missed, but they’d always be in my heart.
Recently my best friends mom passed away. I would always see her growing up during high school an there was alway the the occasional “hello” when i’d see her whenever i’d drop through to the house, or I was invited out do dinner. Always cordial and always welcoming whenever I was around.
Why this hit me so hard, was the fact that I can’t imaging losing a parent. I can’t imagine getting the call telling my that my mother or father has less than a week to live and I better get down there to say my last goodbyes. This happened recently with my good friend and it really got to me. I know when that does happen to me, I’m going to really lose my shit. Close friends saw how I was when my dog had to be put down, and there are times I can’t really think about it without at least getting misty before regaining my composure. I don’t know how it’s going to be when this time comes, but I really hope that when it does happen, I’ll get to spend those moments with that person, just to know that I’m there for them and will always be there for them, because I love them. They are the reason I’m in this world, they are why I am the person that I am today. Everybody makes mistakes, but those are overlooked by the love that you have for one another and no matter what, it’s that love that makes the bond tight.
I’ll probably pick up the phone just to call my parents and tell them that I love them. Why? Because I don’t really know how it’s going to be when I can’t hear those words of undying love returned over the phone. So for those that have lost their loved one, parent or someone close to them, I admire you for your courage and your strength, and I thank you for reminding me of what I still have and how much I need to show them my love.
xo
“We’re all missin you, I’ve gotta keep on movin strong, We’re all missin you, it’s all I know since you’ve been gone…”
Ribsys Nickel *Missin You*