My Soon-to-Be Former Roommate
Dear (soon-to-be former) roommate,
While we have had immense amounts of fun, I respect the fact that we have our differences in philosophy and you think that's why we're separating. That's fine, you can believe that. However, it is not that we're different, but because we were looking for different qualities in a roommate.
I was looking for someone with whom I could cohabit a room. Go to sleep at a decent time (11:30-12:00 AM does not count as a decent time when I have an 8 AM class to wake up for the next morning. It didn't count in high school, it doesn't count now.), sleep in decent peace (and, no, talking directly before bed isn't a necessary activity between roommates) and divide chores between (chore division does depend on the room and I'm thankful you perceived that).
My issue with you, dear s-t-b former roomie, is that you were mistaken in thinking that I was going to be your bosom-buddy, safety net for when you fell asleep in class (see my comment about midnight not being a proper bed time for early classes) and surrogate mother to haul you out to social events (which you refuse to attend on your own), the gym (something else you refuse to do alone) and things that you are perfectly capable of doing on your own. I regret to inform you that I am not your surrogate mother, that I was not interested in the position and do not appreciate being unceremoniously jammed into that position.
Good luck with your next roommate,
~ A.H.