In honor of roommate contracts this week.
Dear roommate,
I understand that we are both in our freshman year, and I know making the transition from having a big room all to yourself to sharing half of that space can be difficult. But, there are some things that I simply will not tolerate as we adjust to this new living arrangement. Furthermore, if you do not break these disgusting and/or annoying habits, I will be more than delighted to break them for you:
1. "Quiet" hours: I am aware that most people around here disregard what's been written in the handbook about what hours of the day should be reserved for quiet activity. That is perfectly fine with me, as most of the ladies down the hall know to be quieter as the day comes to a close. However, if you, who never leaves this space, notices that I am suddenly very, very, very quiet, please, do not be afraid to shut the fuck up. I will not be angry if you do not speak to me. I will not become upset if you decide against turning the volume on your T.V. or laptop up as high as possible. Hell, I wouldn’t even say a word if you got off the phone for once. This is because I am either sleeping or studying. I know, I know, I could always go to the lobby or library, but guess what? Those places are closed right around the time your mouth and merchandise should be.
2. Cleanliness: I am aware that I am a messy person. I know that I tend to leave my bed unmade, and I frequently leave my desk in disarray. I honestly would not mind if you did the same. But, I will most certainly mind if you (continue to) decide that two of your empty pizza boxes, an empty box that once held hot wings, and a bowl of moldy Ramen noodle residue is appropriate décor for our dorm. And just so you know, I am also not a fan of over-spilling-garbage feng-shui.
3. Meal times: I am aware that there are at least four different on-campus locations in which to dine. I also know that there are several fast food joints right across the street from any point on campus. Additionally, I know that at the front door of our residence hall, there is a kiosk full of menus from which you can place orders for delivery. Still, I think that having a few non-perishables in my possession in the event that the aforementioned establishments are not open when I am hungry, is an excellent idea. I do not, however, believe that having a few non-perishables in my possession in the event that the aforementioned establishments are not open when YOU are hungry, is an excellent idea. With that said, please stop asking me if you can eat some of my food every other day.
Roommate, these are only three of the many habits you have that strike me as disgusting/annoying. Again, if you experience any trouble at all in breaking these habits immediately, I will be more than happy to help you-immediately.
Sincerely,
Me
I understand that we are both in our freshman year, and I know making the transition from having a big room all to yourself to sharing half of that space can be difficult. But, there are some things that I simply will not tolerate as we adjust to this new living arrangement. Furthermore, if you do not break these disgusting and/or annoying habits, I will be more than delighted to break them for you:
1. "Quiet" hours: I am aware that most people around here disregard what's been written in the handbook about what hours of the day should be reserved for quiet activity. That is perfectly fine with me, as most of the ladies down the hall know to be quieter as the day comes to a close. However, if you, who never leaves this space, notices that I am suddenly very, very, very quiet, please, do not be afraid to shut the fuck up. I will not be angry if you do not speak to me. I will not become upset if you decide against turning the volume on your T.V. or laptop up as high as possible. Hell, I wouldn’t even say a word if you got off the phone for once. This is because I am either sleeping or studying. I know, I know, I could always go to the lobby or library, but guess what? Those places are closed right around the time your mouth and merchandise should be.
2. Cleanliness: I am aware that I am a messy person. I know that I tend to leave my bed unmade, and I frequently leave my desk in disarray. I honestly would not mind if you did the same. But, I will most certainly mind if you (continue to) decide that two of your empty pizza boxes, an empty box that once held hot wings, and a bowl of moldy Ramen noodle residue is appropriate décor for our dorm. And just so you know, I am also not a fan of over-spilling-garbage feng-shui.
3. Meal times: I am aware that there are at least four different on-campus locations in which to dine. I also know that there are several fast food joints right across the street from any point on campus. Additionally, I know that at the front door of our residence hall, there is a kiosk full of menus from which you can place orders for delivery. Still, I think that having a few non-perishables in my possession in the event that the aforementioned establishments are not open when I am hungry, is an excellent idea. I do not, however, believe that having a few non-perishables in my possession in the event that the aforementioned establishments are not open when YOU are hungry, is an excellent idea. With that said, please stop asking me if you can eat some of my food every other day.
Roommate, these are only three of the many habits you have that strike me as disgusting/annoying. Again, if you experience any trouble at all in breaking these habits immediately, I will be more than happy to help you-immediately.
Sincerely,
Me