(no subject)
Lol. UPDATE from http://community.livejournal.com/damn_roommates/345109.html!
Roommate,
a) Do not lock my cat in the bedroom. You're the one who doesn't want her in the bedroom, so do not lock her in there away from her food/water/litter. Does animal cruelty ring a bell? If you don't see her in the living room, DO NOT FUCKING SHUT THE BEDROOM DOOR. She is under my bed, you fucking idiot.
b) Cough up utilities. You now owe me $500. Do not inform me you or your father cannot pay me, because I DO NOT CARE. You were able to go to Florida and five spring training games for a week, in a hotel. You also went to NYC and the beach. Your shitty decisions should not affect my life. Until then, you may live without water, electricity, cable, or internet.
c) Weren't you yelling at me about dishes in the beginning of the year? About a mug I left in the sink for a night? So, why is there a mixing bowl with brownie remains by the sink for five days?
d) Please ignore than red stuff in the fridge. It is deer blood and I don't feel like cleaning it up.
e) Do not leave an open bag of cereal out of the box on the couch. The cat drags it around. Moreso, do not ask me to pay you back for said box of cereal. You may eat it off the floor.
f) Um, remember my drill? The one your boyfriend still has? GIVE IT BACK.
g) Stop screaming at your boyfriend at 2am in the bedroom. I am a licensed hunter, I am not afraid to shoot you.
h) Do not bitch about me "hogging" the TV. I told you in the beginning of the year, during playoff hockey and world hockey, the TV IS MINE. Moreso, You did not pay me for four months of the cable bill, nor did you pay for the TV.
i) Don't say you're not paying me back for the utilities. I have already contacted a judge to send you a letter about it. Lawyers are more expensive than utilities.
j) Pay the fucking rent. You now owe our landlord $1300. I'm tired of phone conversations with him.
k) Don't bitch when I take back MY ethernet cord that I lent you. You can bring your own.
l) Oh snap. I forgot to tell you that I locked the router to my MAC address only. Sorry you bought that $100 wifi adapter because you thought your laptop was broken.
m) STOP LEAVING THE HEAT ON. THE HEAT DOES NOT NEED TO BE ON WHEN IT IS 70F OUTSIDE. I am Swedish, I fucking hate heat.
n) Don't fucking have sex on MY couch when I'm there. I'm going to bang someone in your bed.
Love, your amazing roommate, me
Roommate,
a) Do not lock my cat in the bedroom. You're the one who doesn't want her in the bedroom, so do not lock her in there away from her food/water/litter. Does animal cruelty ring a bell? If you don't see her in the living room, DO NOT FUCKING SHUT THE BEDROOM DOOR. She is under my bed, you fucking idiot.
b) Cough up utilities. You now owe me $500. Do not inform me you or your father cannot pay me, because I DO NOT CARE. You were able to go to Florida and five spring training games for a week, in a hotel. You also went to NYC and the beach. Your shitty decisions should not affect my life. Until then, you may live without water, electricity, cable, or internet.
c) Weren't you yelling at me about dishes in the beginning of the year? About a mug I left in the sink for a night? So, why is there a mixing bowl with brownie remains by the sink for five days?
d) Please ignore than red stuff in the fridge. It is deer blood and I don't feel like cleaning it up.
e) Do not leave an open bag of cereal out of the box on the couch. The cat drags it around. Moreso, do not ask me to pay you back for said box of cereal. You may eat it off the floor.
f) Um, remember my drill? The one your boyfriend still has? GIVE IT BACK.
g) Stop screaming at your boyfriend at 2am in the bedroom. I am a licensed hunter, I am not afraid to shoot you.
h) Do not bitch about me "hogging" the TV. I told you in the beginning of the year, during playoff hockey and world hockey, the TV IS MINE. Moreso, You did not pay me for four months of the cable bill, nor did you pay for the TV.
i) Don't say you're not paying me back for the utilities. I have already contacted a judge to send you a letter about it. Lawyers are more expensive than utilities.
j) Pay the fucking rent. You now owe our landlord $1300. I'm tired of phone conversations with him.
k) Don't bitch when I take back MY ethernet cord that I lent you. You can bring your own.
l) Oh snap. I forgot to tell you that I locked the router to my MAC address only. Sorry you bought that $100 wifi adapter because you thought your laptop was broken.
m) STOP LEAVING THE HEAT ON. THE HEAT DOES NOT NEED TO BE ON WHEN IT IS 70F OUTSIDE. I am Swedish, I fucking hate heat.
n) Don't fucking have sex on MY couch when I'm there. I'm going to bang someone in your bed.
Love, your amazing roommate, me