CHANGE OF HEART
Ryan
I don’t know what you’re expecting of me. I love you with all my heart. I’ve been super shitty and maybe not cared as much as I should have about how it was effecting you. Because I was being stubborn or thick headed and just wouldn’t ever admit that I was/am wrong or out of line. This is not me giving rebuddles this is not me blaming you. I honestly don’t care if you’ve fought back with me I don’t care if you’ve said mean things to me, but I this is me tell you that I am responsible. I’m okay with taking the 99.9999999998% responsibility for the ruff times in our relationship. College has been such an experience for the both of us and its effecting us in two different ways, and both of us, instead of reaching out to eachother for help, we’ve been reaching out to eachother to strangle one another.
I love you. I am in love with you. No one I have met, and no one that I well meet will ever meet my standards of being a ryan wheat. Things can be better, and yea they should have been better before now. But we’re both pretty hard headed and one track minded when it comes to this relationship stuff… we both have such high expectations because we’ve fallen in love so young and we feel lucky, we are lucky, we have eachother to help through all the obsitcals that we are going to face in life, but we’ve been taking advantage of having eachother and not cherishing it like we should be. I hate the Jessica that has an attitude and that is just shitty all the effing time to you and won’t just let things be like with porn, so what if im not as skinny as them girls…. You a guy with a sick mind and im not awlasy willing to spread ‘em wide when ever you need some lovin down there lol. But I will always be here to spread my arms wide open to you because I do love you. I know you love me too. This you and me it can work, so it takes some effort… I think after 5 years, that I’d be stupid for either of us to not give it effort finally and see what comes from it. I know we’ve both claimed to have “tried” but did we really? Because nothing every really changed on either of our behalfs… but if we actually tried to treat eachother just a tad bit sweeter imagine how beautiful things could be…. Now you tell me, is it still Rice & Wheat the life long treat, just gotta throw some feed and water on the rice and wheat so that it will grow TOGETHER like one….. don’t you just love my metaphors lol. I love you. If you love me too…. Than this will matter to you and you won’t give up. Not yet. Not Ever, i never ever will... so it'll only be you calling quits if you still want to give up. i've tried to act like i was okay with your choice, but now i just can't be because the only thing that is okay to me is us being together, because thats the only thing that makes sense...