(no subject)
God never ceases to amaze.
I've been feeling really off-path lately. I haven't really been praying/worshipping/focusing my attention on God as much, but I've prayed a few times and talked to him about where I'm standing, how I feel, what I'm thinking, but my actions haven't been lining up like they should be, I guess. Then again nobody is perfect and that is the beauty in being saved. But I'm still getting to know God. I've also neglected my Jesus Calling daily devotional book for about 5 days. So, of course, I've been feeling like I withdrew from Him. Not by choice, but by my choice of priorities. Mainly because I'm trying to run from a pretty detrimental decision that I need to make. I've been praying that God lead me into the right direction, but I felt afterwards that he's not going to answer it or help me until I go back to church again (I haven't been consistent with that either lately and I've been down on myself for that) and ask for forgiveness -- because, well, that's what everyone says we have to do, right? Wrong. Well, the other night as I was laying in bed on the brink of tears I prayed personally for the first time in a while and asked him to please tell me clear as day where I need to be and what He wants and needs me to do. Is what I chose so far the correct path? I feel I have no confirmation from Him at all and that I haven't involved him in this decision. But I know I can't do it on my own, I need and desire his guidance, I don't understand what happened to me. I will just mess everything up. I just asked that he direct me even though I know I haven't been the best I could be. I laid it all out on the table begging for his mercy and grace again -- something I truly don't deserve especially because of things I've done. I felt like I wouldn't get an answer because I'm not as close as I used to be...
This morning, I woke up and finally felt really sad. Like what I chose is wrong and that it's my fault because I didn't ask God to help me until it was too late. I wanted to just leave everything completely and just run away from it all. I left and went for a drive.. I parked my car and finally reached over to Jesus Calling in my passenger seat and opened up to May 1 just to get some sort of motivation to get through today. To my surprise I didn't just receive motivation, I received my answer at a time I was least expecting it because I thought I would never get one. I received peace and happiness, and finally confirmation from God. And ultimately, a relationship renewal with God. A boost in my faith. A reminder that God is ALWAYS with me and guiding me in my decisions whether I ask him to or not, whether I'm doing what's wrong or not. Because I am saved and because I asked him to live in my heart and soul, he has been with me through this whole mess even though I have withdrew from Him from my own guilt. He is amazing, so forgiving, loving. And so he spoke to me, as I asked in my prayer, clear as day. With the very first line being in bold capital letters, he said to me this morning:
"YOU ARE ON THE PATH OF MY CHOOSING. There is NO randomness about your life. Here and Now comprise the coordinates of your daily life. Most people let their moments slip through their fingers, half-lived. They avoid the present by worrying about the future or longing for a better time and place. They forget that they are creatures who are subject to the limitations of time and space. They forget their Creator, who walks with them only in the present.
Every moment is alive with My glorious presence, to those whose hearts are intimately connected with Mine. As you give yourself more and more to a life of constant communion with Me, you will find that you simply have no time for worry. Thus, you are freed to let My Spirit direct your steps, enabling you to walk along the path of Peace. "
Luke 12:25-26, Luke 1:79
God is so great. This is the first time I've ever experienced a feeling of this magnitude. It just keeps getting better and better with Him. I am refreshed in knowing it's okay--don't run from God just because I'm in a mess.That's the time TO run to him.
Lord I LOVE YOU. I am so blessed, so unworthy.
I've been feeling really off-path lately. I haven't really been praying/worshipping/focusing my attention on God as much, but I've prayed a few times and talked to him about where I'm standing, how I feel, what I'm thinking, but my actions haven't been lining up like they should be, I guess. Then again nobody is perfect and that is the beauty in being saved. But I'm still getting to know God. I've also neglected my Jesus Calling daily devotional book for about 5 days. So, of course, I've been feeling like I withdrew from Him. Not by choice, but by my choice of priorities. Mainly because I'm trying to run from a pretty detrimental decision that I need to make. I've been praying that God lead me into the right direction, but I felt afterwards that he's not going to answer it or help me until I go back to church again (I haven't been consistent with that either lately and I've been down on myself for that) and ask for forgiveness -- because, well, that's what everyone says we have to do, right? Wrong. Well, the other night as I was laying in bed on the brink of tears I prayed personally for the first time in a while and asked him to please tell me clear as day where I need to be and what He wants and needs me to do. Is what I chose so far the correct path? I feel I have no confirmation from Him at all and that I haven't involved him in this decision. But I know I can't do it on my own, I need and desire his guidance, I don't understand what happened to me. I will just mess everything up. I just asked that he direct me even though I know I haven't been the best I could be. I laid it all out on the table begging for his mercy and grace again -- something I truly don't deserve especially because of things I've done. I felt like I wouldn't get an answer because I'm not as close as I used to be...
This morning, I woke up and finally felt really sad. Like what I chose is wrong and that it's my fault because I didn't ask God to help me until it was too late. I wanted to just leave everything completely and just run away from it all. I left and went for a drive.. I parked my car and finally reached over to Jesus Calling in my passenger seat and opened up to May 1 just to get some sort of motivation to get through today. To my surprise I didn't just receive motivation, I received my answer at a time I was least expecting it because I thought I would never get one. I received peace and happiness, and finally confirmation from God. And ultimately, a relationship renewal with God. A boost in my faith. A reminder that God is ALWAYS with me and guiding me in my decisions whether I ask him to or not, whether I'm doing what's wrong or not. Because I am saved and because I asked him to live in my heart and soul, he has been with me through this whole mess even though I have withdrew from Him from my own guilt. He is amazing, so forgiving, loving. And so he spoke to me, as I asked in my prayer, clear as day. With the very first line being in bold capital letters, he said to me this morning:
"YOU ARE ON THE PATH OF MY CHOOSING. There is NO randomness about your life. Here and Now comprise the coordinates of your daily life. Most people let their moments slip through their fingers, half-lived. They avoid the present by worrying about the future or longing for a better time and place. They forget that they are creatures who are subject to the limitations of time and space. They forget their Creator, who walks with them only in the present.
Every moment is alive with My glorious presence, to those whose hearts are intimately connected with Mine. As you give yourself more and more to a life of constant communion with Me, you will find that you simply have no time for worry. Thus, you are freed to let My Spirit direct your steps, enabling you to walk along the path of Peace. "
Luke 12:25-26, Luke 1:79
God is so great. This is the first time I've ever experienced a feeling of this magnitude. It just keeps getting better and better with Him. I am refreshed in knowing it's okay--don't run from God just because I'm in a mess.That's the time TO run to him.
Lord I LOVE YOU. I am so blessed, so unworthy.