Going Through Hell
Either I seriously fucked someone important over in another life (I'm thinking killed a Pope), or the Universe has just decided to make me it's own little punching bag.
Dad has Lymphoma. It's Non-Hodgkins, thank god, but he's doing chemotherapy right now for it. He's not sick, but I'm waiting for it. He may just be hiding it from me.
Then there's Mom.
At first I thought she was just "dealing" with it in the same way she'd "dealt" with him almost dying back in January, and freaked out at her over it. She's back, somewhat, but she's still sick. She has a hard time staying awake, stumbles over her words at times, and I think she's having a hard time walking again. It's the same as a few summers back when we had to put her in the hospital for three months. She's also been sleepwalking, losing track of her days, and thinking we're watching my nieces in the middle of the night.
I've been okay in the past as long as I have one parent to lean on when things got too tough, but now they're both sick, and I don't know what to do. Dad's keeping on a brave face for me, and I love him for it, but the strain is bad. I haven't relaxed in nearly two weeks. I find myself staying awake all night, listening for Mom moving around. I hate leaving the house for too long in case my parents need me, but I also need to get out as much as possible to get away. I've had a tension headache that has threatened to rip my head open for almost a month. The stress has made me throw up numerous times, and my chest feels tight. I think I'm gonna lose my mind, and god help me I want to. Insanity would be much easier than dealing with this.
Dad has Lymphoma. It's Non-Hodgkins, thank god, but he's doing chemotherapy right now for it. He's not sick, but I'm waiting for it. He may just be hiding it from me.
Then there's Mom.
At first I thought she was just "dealing" with it in the same way she'd "dealt" with him almost dying back in January, and freaked out at her over it. She's back, somewhat, but she's still sick. She has a hard time staying awake, stumbles over her words at times, and I think she's having a hard time walking again. It's the same as a few summers back when we had to put her in the hospital for three months. She's also been sleepwalking, losing track of her days, and thinking we're watching my nieces in the middle of the night.
I've been okay in the past as long as I have one parent to lean on when things got too tough, but now they're both sick, and I don't know what to do. Dad's keeping on a brave face for me, and I love him for it, but the strain is bad. I haven't relaxed in nearly two weeks. I find myself staying awake all night, listening for Mom moving around. I hate leaving the house for too long in case my parents need me, but I also need to get out as much as possible to get away. I've had a tension headache that has threatened to rip my head open for almost a month. The stress has made me throw up numerous times, and my chest feels tight. I think I'm gonna lose my mind, and god help me I want to. Insanity would be much easier than dealing with this.