Your sick of my passion? don't worry no longer.

[damien_draiman]

So let me get this straight. Most of my friends in my net and real life, are getting sick of my feelings and my passion with life. Most of my friends...are sick, of the passion and my feelings? Ok, lately Ive sucked and Ive been horrible, there is no doubt about that, but don't you dare say that my passion never led to anything good. Im an amazing fucking friend and wana know why? Cause Id give my right arm and leg for a friend in need. Ive done many things to prove it. For example, during my on and off realtionship with Heather 3 years ago, I was on for 3 days straight with maybe a tiny nap on the keyboard just for her until she felt better about herself. What did she do after she even knew I still liked her? She got a boyfriend. Oh well, but at the time I didn't know it was a sign of things to come. Im just saying though I know Ive been their for alot of my friends in any way I could and yet Im always upset cause I know I could do more. I wish I could do more then just send little e-cards for xmas or any other hoilday, or even when your feeling bad. just lately, with everything backfiring on me and falling apart, Id like for some people to throw me a damn bone here. The last 12 weeks have been extremely hectic and Im trying to fix everything As soon as Possible. On top of that, it's winter which I hate with a passion and also Valentine's Day is coming up. Now their's a fucking day to look forward too. [/sarcasm]I mean, the last 3 years my V-day has been either alone, had an ex cheat on me, or get completely embrassed in public by a put down by a woman that led me on. So let me see, it looks like my V-day won't be good this year. This is one of the 2 days this year I don't just want..but I NEED to go well this year. V-Day and my birthday. This year I would do anything to have an amazing V-day and an amazing b-day. On both cases as of this day and all that has transpired, Ill be lucky to have good days then on both days. I just know this, I have done my best and in some cases Ive almost injured myself permenately for my friends and I know some appreciate it, but regardless, I will NEVER CHANGE the way I am and you wanna know why? Cause I value every friendship with all my heart and soul and until the day I die, if I have to, Ill continue doing everything I possibly can and live life for my friends at 1000%, and at 1000mph with no breaks and no traction. All I ask from my friends is one thing...appreciation. Now really with everything I do how hard is that?

On a final note, I have a song that i will post on myspace along with here. It's no surprise that I want my friends to read and listen to some songs...this is different. I want EVERY FRIEND TO UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY the Message of this song. If their's only one song you will listen to or read cause of me asking, let it be this one. Please. I will greatly appreciate it cause it's how I exactly feel. Thank you.

Flaw- Best I Am
"Best I Am"

Long.
I`ve Been Running away for far too long
Afraid of what
Afraid of what I know is soon to come
I may not be much of an example right now
But I can give you all of my knowledge on how
to get along in this place
right now all I can say

[Chorus]
Is that I will do the best that I can
to be a good example of man
I know one day that You`ll understand
you deserve the best that I am
you deserve the best that I am

It`s So hard
so hard to think about when I was child
so angry at life
I blamed the world for such a long long time
But Things happened so quickly
some people just go
I needed answers to heal me
I wanted to know how to get by
and now its my turn to say

[chorus]

This is all for you
everything in this world
everything in my world
everything in your world
things wont always go right in this life
theres always changes
we`ll make it

[Chorus]