Can somebody throw me a fucking bone here
This is going to be about me and my direct realtionships and a future that is getting grimmer and grimmer as days go by. Nicole is gone now she moved, but Ill remain friends with her. Now that's done, let's get going to myself and the fear I have for the near future.
First things first, my family sucks. I can't get a job cause their is no openings yet cause of holidays. February the Flood Gates will open and Ill get a job then. Im just pissed cause of the process everyone is giving me. I've been trying damnit and it's shown between the lack fo sleep Ive gotten since July. It's amazing I haven't broken down cause of it. I just want a week were I can rest, calm down and be cool with myself once again. Just one week. Is that too hard to ask?
Now, for the next order of business and the bulk of everything. The social Realtionships, or lack there of, is just upseting me more and more and im getting sick of it. Where do I start? Well everyone but me is taken again. Well not everyone but 98% of everyone I know is taken. ODd cause 5 people the last 2 weeks go through a breakup when Im getting closer with someone. In that process of getting close, each one of the 5 (3 guys 2 gals) are taken again then this girl I was getting close with AGAIN, she just had to give me an excuse. "It's not you tim, it's me. I don't think I could handle you cause I don't deserve anyone like you." Been there, heard that. Be honest women. I can take shit damnit, just don't fucking lie to me. Anna's a fucking whore anyways. What did I see her in the first place? Oh right, she made me feel special at one time and fed me false hope that I could be TRULY loved for who I am. Just like Sora, Jenn, Heather, Brandy, Jessica among some close friends I still have, they all gave or is currently giving me a sense of False Hope.
Speaking of Close friends, I seriously wonder if some care about me like they say they do. Now don't get me wrong in the past I know they did cause of shit I helped them through, but since some have been happier, taken and things along those lines, I wonder if they care about me as much anymore. See, I think this alot cause days on end this shit always happened to me. Through my whole life Ive been used to make others feel better and now in some cases I think the same might be happening. It hurts alot cause in one case This girl I feel is a best friend of mine that has helped me ALOT this year and made my birthday ok and I helped her until shit happened to me and making me too busy to come on and things going on in her life making her busy to. I mean, I know she's not using me or never has, but we have drifted so far apart that it hurts me inside cause of how close we got. I just wish I felt as special as I used to with her. I just wish she knew where Im coming from. I don't know anymore.
Regardless, I have to go Im busy, Ill be back on myspace tomorrow. hell, I may copy this their if anything. Here's a song that is totally me right now. Read the lyrics, and if you like the band, get the song.
First things first, my family sucks. I can't get a job cause their is no openings yet cause of holidays. February the Flood Gates will open and Ill get a job then. Im just pissed cause of the process everyone is giving me. I've been trying damnit and it's shown between the lack fo sleep Ive gotten since July. It's amazing I haven't broken down cause of it. I just want a week were I can rest, calm down and be cool with myself once again. Just one week. Is that too hard to ask?
Now, for the next order of business and the bulk of everything. The social Realtionships, or lack there of, is just upseting me more and more and im getting sick of it. Where do I start? Well everyone but me is taken again. Well not everyone but 98% of everyone I know is taken. ODd cause 5 people the last 2 weeks go through a breakup when Im getting closer with someone. In that process of getting close, each one of the 5 (3 guys 2 gals) are taken again then this girl I was getting close with AGAIN, she just had to give me an excuse. "It's not you tim, it's me. I don't think I could handle you cause I don't deserve anyone like you." Been there, heard that. Be honest women. I can take shit damnit, just don't fucking lie to me. Anna's a fucking whore anyways. What did I see her in the first place? Oh right, she made me feel special at one time and fed me false hope that I could be TRULY loved for who I am. Just like Sora, Jenn, Heather, Brandy, Jessica among some close friends I still have, they all gave or is currently giving me a sense of False Hope.
Speaking of Close friends, I seriously wonder if some care about me like they say they do. Now don't get me wrong in the past I know they did cause of shit I helped them through, but since some have been happier, taken and things along those lines, I wonder if they care about me as much anymore. See, I think this alot cause days on end this shit always happened to me. Through my whole life Ive been used to make others feel better and now in some cases I think the same might be happening. It hurts alot cause in one case This girl I feel is a best friend of mine that has helped me ALOT this year and made my birthday ok and I helped her until shit happened to me and making me too busy to come on and things going on in her life making her busy to. I mean, I know she's not using me or never has, but we have drifted so far apart that it hurts me inside cause of how close we got. I just wish I felt as special as I used to with her. I just wish she knew where Im coming from. I don't know anymore.
Regardless, I have to go Im busy, Ill be back on myspace tomorrow. hell, I may copy this their if anything. Here's a song that is totally me right now. Read the lyrics, and if you like the band, get the song.