It's hard to be a big brother.....
Well Friday came and went, the weekend came and went and I feel totally drained.
Friday was Cameron's ( my baby Brother a year younder then me) Day in court. A nasty custody battle thats been going on for the last few years. I agreed to testify on his behafe, Hey I might not agree with Cam's way of doing things and might fight with him more then hang with him but His my brother nad I grew up with him and I will kill for him ( I would gladly take a bus ride and a few bullets to solve his problem but it wont help ) .
I had an appointment Tuesday with his lawyer and we talked about the way I was going to word my testamony and why Cameron is being so combative with him, My god He hasnt worked in about two years and Mom has been paying fo revrything for his kids and he hasnt been activly looking for a job. He cant get it into his hard head that Society looks at men and women differently when it comes to working.
If a Woman isnt working but has the child and is collecting welfare its okay. If a man is not working and isnt paying for his child support then hes a bad man. I've tried to tell him for the last few years that if he truely loves his child then he'd take he nastist job he could to support them. Flipping burgers or digging shit holes etc. Its just that he has to back up his claims that he loves his kids with action.
Well I pushed my self friday and went to the library thats right down the street. I picked up a few books that I wanted to read, ( The Rising- a fucked up Zombie novel where the zombies are actually Deamons who not only has access to the knowledge in your mind but can talk smack to you and use weapons and drive vehicles. But the worst part is that animals also come back as zombies and they can also talk smack. I highly recoimed this book for any Zombie nut like my self!) I also got DeadSpeak,DeadSpawn,Blood Brothers,Blood wars and last aeire by Brain lumley. I can manage 1 book every three days ( one day when I cant sleep). Well to get back to da subject I walked way to much. I limped home and tried everythng to kill my pain but couldnt. Its bad when you cant get into a tub of 105 degree water and relaxe. I read The rising in one night thats how much I loved this book. I read dead speak and spawn in the nest two days, I am working on Blood brothers today.
Well Friday I was hurting hen I got up, I got all dressed up in my best Pimpo daddy Mic gear ( I'll up load da pics soon) and head down to da court house. I sat for 6 hours waiting for my turn and Then I got on the stand. Everything went well till the cross exaim came. I was under alot of pain and stress and I broke when they started to probe. When he asked me about why I believed my niece would be better with her father and I started to crack. I still have major issues with my father and never was able to give or recieve affection and I dont want her to have the same regrets I do. I cried for half an hour and I felt ashamed. I hate to show that side and I dont show it offten.
Well That night was a hell night, I was in so much pain that I had ideas go throiught my head that I never wanted to think about. I've had a few nights where I had chest pains and hurt so bad but Friday I was a broke man in spirit. All weekend I was a shell that didnt think I just reacted. I was a zombie.
I had some Mortin but the pills where stolen out me room by a family member and the bottle showed up Sunday morning empty and today I finally got a refill. I believe I am on a edge with the chemical make up of my brain. I smoked a lil weed and I am worst then before, I get a head ache on the left side of my head. If I eat it then I have no headache but it takes soo much more to get me stoned to kill the pain. Well I made a appointment with my doctor to see what he could do.
I have already filled for my SOcial Security Disablity, I have to wait till Jan to here anything. That was a fun day, getting yelled at by a lady cause to many youngsters are filling and taking her money away. I would rather be working and pain free instead of taking a hand out.
I've been sleeping weird hours and in weird places. I have been sleeping siting in my chair and I wake up hurting, but if I sleep in a bed I hurt worser then anything else. I manage 4 hours a night and I sleep in cat naps. My left leg is gioving me trouble and it's starting to swell up and turn color. I dont want to have a nasty two tone leg. so starting to morrow I am walking a few blocks every day to see what happens. I just got my script filled a few hours ago and I am hiding my pills under lock and traps to keep em safe.
I've been playing World of warcraft, I am Damic or Madusmic on shadow concil server. I play when Angus aint on, see we share an account. when I get some extra cash I am getting my own account.
Well I rambled on enough. I gonna have to start updating my journal more then once in a blue moon.
Later my friends,
Mic
Friday was Cameron's ( my baby Brother a year younder then me) Day in court. A nasty custody battle thats been going on for the last few years. I agreed to testify on his behafe, Hey I might not agree with Cam's way of doing things and might fight with him more then hang with him but His my brother nad I grew up with him and I will kill for him ( I would gladly take a bus ride and a few bullets to solve his problem but it wont help ) .
I had an appointment Tuesday with his lawyer and we talked about the way I was going to word my testamony and why Cameron is being so combative with him, My god He hasnt worked in about two years and Mom has been paying fo revrything for his kids and he hasnt been activly looking for a job. He cant get it into his hard head that Society looks at men and women differently when it comes to working.
If a Woman isnt working but has the child and is collecting welfare its okay. If a man is not working and isnt paying for his child support then hes a bad man. I've tried to tell him for the last few years that if he truely loves his child then he'd take he nastist job he could to support them. Flipping burgers or digging shit holes etc. Its just that he has to back up his claims that he loves his kids with action.
Well I pushed my self friday and went to the library thats right down the street. I picked up a few books that I wanted to read, ( The Rising- a fucked up Zombie novel where the zombies are actually Deamons who not only has access to the knowledge in your mind but can talk smack to you and use weapons and drive vehicles. But the worst part is that animals also come back as zombies and they can also talk smack. I highly recoimed this book for any Zombie nut like my self!) I also got DeadSpeak,DeadSpawn,Blood Brothers,Blood wars and last aeire by Brain lumley. I can manage 1 book every three days ( one day when I cant sleep). Well to get back to da subject I walked way to much. I limped home and tried everythng to kill my pain but couldnt. Its bad when you cant get into a tub of 105 degree water and relaxe. I read The rising in one night thats how much I loved this book. I read dead speak and spawn in the nest two days, I am working on Blood brothers today.
Well Friday I was hurting hen I got up, I got all dressed up in my best Pimpo daddy Mic gear ( I'll up load da pics soon) and head down to da court house. I sat for 6 hours waiting for my turn and Then I got on the stand. Everything went well till the cross exaim came. I was under alot of pain and stress and I broke when they started to probe. When he asked me about why I believed my niece would be better with her father and I started to crack. I still have major issues with my father and never was able to give or recieve affection and I dont want her to have the same regrets I do. I cried for half an hour and I felt ashamed. I hate to show that side and I dont show it offten.
Well That night was a hell night, I was in so much pain that I had ideas go throiught my head that I never wanted to think about. I've had a few nights where I had chest pains and hurt so bad but Friday I was a broke man in spirit. All weekend I was a shell that didnt think I just reacted. I was a zombie.
I had some Mortin but the pills where stolen out me room by a family member and the bottle showed up Sunday morning empty and today I finally got a refill. I believe I am on a edge with the chemical make up of my brain. I smoked a lil weed and I am worst then before, I get a head ache on the left side of my head. If I eat it then I have no headache but it takes soo much more to get me stoned to kill the pain. Well I made a appointment with my doctor to see what he could do.
I have already filled for my SOcial Security Disablity, I have to wait till Jan to here anything. That was a fun day, getting yelled at by a lady cause to many youngsters are filling and taking her money away. I would rather be working and pain free instead of taking a hand out.
I've been sleeping weird hours and in weird places. I have been sleeping siting in my chair and I wake up hurting, but if I sleep in a bed I hurt worser then anything else. I manage 4 hours a night and I sleep in cat naps. My left leg is gioving me trouble and it's starting to swell up and turn color. I dont want to have a nasty two tone leg. so starting to morrow I am walking a few blocks every day to see what happens. I just got my script filled a few hours ago and I am hiding my pills under lock and traps to keep em safe.
I've been playing World of warcraft, I am Damic or Madusmic on shadow concil server. I play when Angus aint on, see we share an account. when I get some extra cash I am getting my own account.
Well I rambled on enough. I gonna have to start updating my journal more then once in a blue moon.
Later my friends,
Mic