Update
Before I start packing to go to Seattle, I thought I'd update on a few things. Let me get the bad news out of the way first.
My parents' best friends who have been like an aunt and uncle to me my entire life seem to have hit some bad luck. Eunice has breast cancer and is going to have a radical mastectomy. Dale is being called to Iraq. They've already tried to get my dad to go back, so I'm wondering if they might not make him go soon too. Time will tell. I've always been sort of the black sheep of the family, but Eunice and Dale have always been there for me, supported me and have been more of a family to me than my real aunts and uncles. So this is sort of a hard blow.
But now let me talk about the past 2 weeks. I've been taking more time for myself, hiking more and exercising which has helped me release a lot of the stress I was carrying. Last weekend I went to Ft. Worth with my parents to see my oldest sister and her family, which was great. I got to see my nephews play soccer, and let me tell you if I haven't already, watching 3-4 year olds play soccer is one of the most entertaining events one could experience. Then after that my mom, my sister and I went bead shopping, and my mom bought me a LOT of beads and findings so I could make her and my sister things. When I got back Sunday night, I made all of my mom's things, and the next day I made my sister's dragonfly necklace and earring set. Then I made two more sets. Then my butterfly necklace. Then more stone bracelets. Then... yeah I've been a busy bee with the beadwork this week. AND I LOVE IT!! MUAHAHAHA!!!!
I know that I didn't take losing my job, school and my relationship very well at first. I truly learned the hard way that even though everything seems to be going smoothly, you could lose it all in the blink of an eye. That wasn't my lesson from it though. It was the universe's way of reminding me of my strength. That, and when something happens in the future I can look back at that point in my life and say "Well, I got through that, so I'll get through this". That and I really do need some time for myself, and I never would have done it myself. I need time to build a solid foundation and better my habits so that when I start Oriental Medicine school, I am truly ready and able for it. This is something I've wanted for years and feel like it is my true calling. So you can be sure I'm going to do it to the best of my ability and beyond.
I also need more time to think about my romantic life. The only word that describes my thoughts on it now are confusion. When I think about loving another person, I just get this numb feeling in my body, and my mind is at a blank. I'm not sure what it means yet, I'm thinking mostly that I just can't be in love right now. It's like my body, heart and mind won't let me. Which is fine, I wouldn't mind being single for the next 10 years if that's what it takes. But I know it's not healthy to not be able to be in love ever again. I don't think that's so much the case though as it's just an energetic issue that I need to deal with before I can move on. I have an infinite extent of love for my friends and family, but I just can't picture myself being in love right now. Like I said, it's something I need to meditate on some more.
All in all, I'm starting to feel a lot better about things. My spiritual path is enveloping me again with its energy, and I'm so thankful that the universe always leaves its arms open with nothing but love for us. When I was watching the eclipse last night, I couldn't help but be thankful for this intricate, beautiful planet that we're part of. I know it can be crazy and ugly, but to me that's part of what makes it beautiful as well. Without that we wouldn't be able to appreciate the good that there is and how even though change is constant, so is the strive for balance. If we could all just watch nature a little closer and be more appreciative, I think it would enhance the quality of many people's lives. Ok, I'm done being a ranting pagan now. Namaste!
My parents' best friends who have been like an aunt and uncle to me my entire life seem to have hit some bad luck. Eunice has breast cancer and is going to have a radical mastectomy. Dale is being called to Iraq. They've already tried to get my dad to go back, so I'm wondering if they might not make him go soon too. Time will tell. I've always been sort of the black sheep of the family, but Eunice and Dale have always been there for me, supported me and have been more of a family to me than my real aunts and uncles. So this is sort of a hard blow.
But now let me talk about the past 2 weeks. I've been taking more time for myself, hiking more and exercising which has helped me release a lot of the stress I was carrying. Last weekend I went to Ft. Worth with my parents to see my oldest sister and her family, which was great. I got to see my nephews play soccer, and let me tell you if I haven't already, watching 3-4 year olds play soccer is one of the most entertaining events one could experience. Then after that my mom, my sister and I went bead shopping, and my mom bought me a LOT of beads and findings so I could make her and my sister things. When I got back Sunday night, I made all of my mom's things, and the next day I made my sister's dragonfly necklace and earring set. Then I made two more sets. Then my butterfly necklace. Then more stone bracelets. Then... yeah I've been a busy bee with the beadwork this week. AND I LOVE IT!! MUAHAHAHA!!!!
I know that I didn't take losing my job, school and my relationship very well at first. I truly learned the hard way that even though everything seems to be going smoothly, you could lose it all in the blink of an eye. That wasn't my lesson from it though. It was the universe's way of reminding me of my strength. That, and when something happens in the future I can look back at that point in my life and say "Well, I got through that, so I'll get through this". That and I really do need some time for myself, and I never would have done it myself. I need time to build a solid foundation and better my habits so that when I start Oriental Medicine school, I am truly ready and able for it. This is something I've wanted for years and feel like it is my true calling. So you can be sure I'm going to do it to the best of my ability and beyond.
I also need more time to think about my romantic life. The only word that describes my thoughts on it now are confusion. When I think about loving another person, I just get this numb feeling in my body, and my mind is at a blank. I'm not sure what it means yet, I'm thinking mostly that I just can't be in love right now. It's like my body, heart and mind won't let me. Which is fine, I wouldn't mind being single for the next 10 years if that's what it takes. But I know it's not healthy to not be able to be in love ever again. I don't think that's so much the case though as it's just an energetic issue that I need to deal with before I can move on. I have an infinite extent of love for my friends and family, but I just can't picture myself being in love right now. Like I said, it's something I need to meditate on some more.
All in all, I'm starting to feel a lot better about things. My spiritual path is enveloping me again with its energy, and I'm so thankful that the universe always leaves its arms open with nothing but love for us. When I was watching the eclipse last night, I couldn't help but be thankful for this intricate, beautiful planet that we're part of. I know it can be crazy and ugly, but to me that's part of what makes it beautiful as well. Without that we wouldn't be able to appreciate the good that there is and how even though change is constant, so is the strive for balance. If we could all just watch nature a little closer and be more appreciative, I think it would enhance the quality of many people's lives. Ok, I'm done being a ranting pagan now. Namaste!