Current prognosis: cautiously optimistic
Saw neurosurgeon #3 today. He's my favorite, and will be the one I go to if the time comes, which he said he kind of thinks it probably will. He echoed number two, marveling at the fact that I can even walk, much less work. "You have clever nerves" he says. He also marveled at the enormity of my herniation. It's starting to get a complex about its size. I asked him to give me a really compelling argument not to operate electively. And he did. Paraphrasing: "I've seen it happen--granted, not on herniations as big as yours--where that tissue shrinks back and becomes absorbed by the body. As long as you're getting better, as long as the weakness in your leg is mild, as long as you don't experience any of the emergency symptoms (foot drop, incontinence), we need to hold out hope that this can happen for you."
Okay. When you put it that way, I get it. Also, apparently, surgery does weaken the spine slightly. Pretty compelling side note.
We discussed future baby. "Get an MRI before you start trying to get pregnant" he says. If the herniation is still the same, we need to talk about surgery again. No matter what happens, he says I should probably elect cesarian birth, as natural birth would be enough to cause more serious damage to the blown disc as well as the bulging one and the ones which look dehydrated and iffy. And while it's not ideal, pregnancy at any stage does not contra-indicate anesthesia and spinal surgery if necessary, or another MRI.
I am amazed at how not afraid of the future I am any more. I feel like I have all my plans, my backup plans, and my backup backup plans in place. And you know, when you make plans nothing ever goes wrong. But they do make you feel better about the unsure. Plans, that is. Make you feel better. Well, they do me.
So I feel pretty good. I don't know how the nerves find their way around that blob, but whatever. If it works, don't fix it. And if it stops working, we'll deal with it. Now I have three neurosurgeons who know me and have my insurance information. I've got doctors in two boroughs and I can schedule surgery within a matter of days if the time comes. In the meantime, I'm cleared to begin gentle excercise (hold off on the climbing, and I think the boxing gloves will need to be permanently hung up) and can go about life like before. Well, not like before. Because I've got to go about it differently to stay well.
So I can go about life...anew.
For now.
And that's okay.