So. Managed to trap both Dex and Lumen last night, in live traps borrowed from the Spay/Neuter Clinic, and they are currently there getting their makeover into non-reproductive indoor cats.
In fact, the traps probably weren't even necessary -- we could have gotten the little guys into carriers, most likely. But this way the carriers didn't need a clean after the inevitable "accidents" brought on by an overnight stay. (To ensure the cats have an empty stomach before surgery, one has to trap and then hold them for 8-12 hours without food . . . which made me feel like a total asshat, but then, everything about hauling unwilling critters to the vet always does.)
As recommended, we put out the traps (locked open) the morning before, with food inside, to get the cats used to going in and out. Then, that evening, it was time for The Real Deal.
I figured Lumen would be trapped in the first 30 seconds (since she's a bold little thing, and has been becoming relatively tame) and then Dex would spook and be problematic. Naturally, Dex defied expectations and went straight into the first trap; both cats were so used to me by now that I was right there next to the traps, and I released and lowered the door of Dex's trap by hand, without needing him to set off the trip plate. I was hoping if there wasn't a loud, abrupt "snap!" the cats might stay calmer.
Unfortunately, Dex still had a small (mercifully quiet) freak-out when he realized he was stuck, which startled Lumen. Dex quieted when I threw a blanket over his trap, but Lumen remained squirrely and hyper. She'd interact with me and eat food off the spoon, but she *would not* go into the second trap.
Finally, in desperation, I took the can I'd been scooping food from (with a small amount of residual food still inside), and put it at the entrance of the trap. Lumen began to eat, and I slowly scooted the can further into the trap (sneaky!), but she shied away before getting fully inside. Rinse and repeat about 6 times, with Lumen getting more and more hyper (running off into the parking lot, then coming back, etc.) and less and less hungry (as she consumed repeated small bits of food), and I sensed I was close to losing her for the night.
I really didn't want to have to wait till next week (the clinic is only open Thurs./Fri.) and then try trapping again, nor did I want to deal with poor, scared, fraidy-cat Dex without his little sister around to help calm him down (he really is much braver and calmer when he's with her). So, the final time, when Lumen was about halfway into the trap, I just put my hand on her little backside, shoved her in, and dropped the door.
She was Not Happy about that, and began mewing pitifully. If I didn't already feel horribly guilty before, that would have done the trick; as it was, I *really* felt like a jerk.
Since
countessaleska said she'd let me pull this crazy kitty-taming stunt only if I didn't bring them indoors until *after* they'd had a good de-parasiting (not an unreasonable thing), I covered the two cages (which were side-by-side) with many layers of thick camping blankets, leaving a small, uncovered spot for air, and left them on the porch. Then I spent the next several hours worrying that they'd be too cold, or somehow open the trap doors, etc.
However, everyone was still present, accounted for, and in good shape this morning (if decidedly unhappy). A quick car ride to the clinic and the critters were dropped off without too much additional trauma. Should have them back by later this afternoon . . . at which point they get locked in the second bathroom and I'll begin trying to instill Kitteh Stockholm Syndrome in them. Fortunately, every critter I've ever owned has gotten over Vet Trauma eventually, so I remain hopeful that they'll forgive me. Especially if I feed them tuna.
And that's where it's at . . . more as there's more to report!