(no subject)
on sundays presently i'm supervising at the small shelter we took over a few years ago. and boy, dudes, is it flipping boring! seriously, i would be fascinated by how such drastically different cultures can form at two shelters so close together sharing so many clients, except it's so boring. seriously, at the disco, you have two people in a room and it's a raucous. hell, you have one guy in a room and he'll start shouting at himself. this place, you can have ten guys seated in a circle and still be able to hear a pindrop. it's not very satisfying, as i have no idea how to bond with the fellars. one guest i know there, peter, asked this morning "don't you love it here?" all i could say is "dude, this party is fucking dead!" he was delighted, and repeated the statement to all who would listen. thankfully, my german mustafa was working at the big House last night, so he sent me texts all night to keep me awake.
it was lovely to go to the disco thursday... i missed my germans and men and women like crazy after a shift away, and i was delighted to see that the feeling was mutual. even guests that don't like me all that much greeted me like a lost family member.
today i was at social security with a sweet older woman, who has a speech impediment due to a stroke. the lady at the counter was customarily terse. it was one of those days where i realize the level of degradation these people live in. the woman complained that the social security number old gal had entered at check-in was incorrect. she slurred "i couldn't figure out the key pad." next, the woman demanded to know why there was a new address on the woman's ID. old girl slurred "that old address is my daughter's...then i had to move to the shelter." her poise was so heartbreaking, as she heroically tried to maintain her dignity as a stranger sized up her shortcomings.
oh god, what's a happier thought. oh, hey, so manuel showed back up from new orleans. we drank a lot at bernice's, and i resolved to miss the history fair the next day. i woke up saturday, regretting the decision. then manuel ran into the room and began jumping on my bed shouting "good morning eric!" and all my regrets disappeared. we had a lovely day, him, holly, and me wandering about, eating pizza, etc. then i jaunted off to meredith's to meet her baby. friday i babysat cheyenne's baby, which was adorable. baby refused to go to bed, instead trying to yank my chicago flag off the wall and jumping around on my bed manuel-style. Mesler and i had one of our comic book/beer/mexican nights in logan square. in a delightfully odd night, laura's brother in law called me to invite me to a john michael talbot talk and sing along. that was pretty awesome. kimberly, ben, and i saw some odd hamfisted puertorican pride play about a mentally ill woman and her hubby holding a little girl hostage. a highlight was at the end when ben commented "from now on i pick which plays we go to..."
i went on a few dates with a really sweet kid. a diminutive mexican guy with a preposterously oversized chicago accent. first date was at simone's, where he awkwardly gesticulated as he stuttered "i'm just going to put it out there. i think there could be something between us..." date 2 was like a tv show. he picked me up in his car to drive me out to the suburbs for tapas. it all felt like a glamorous road trip; i'm happy to explore any new city, even if it is just a suburb. and ibrahim had given a pack of cigarettes for the occasion. many hours later he drove me home, and we made out a bit. the next day he decided we could no longer date, as our relationship was "pretty much just physical." which is odd, given that out of the 12 hours we were together maybe one hour involved kissing. I'm the only person who could get the "it's just physical" brush off without actually getting any action. also odd is that he continues to text me compulsively, which doesn't quite mesh with the we have no non-physical connection thing. whatever, point is, he's a doll, and a big part of the past few weeks was his keeping me entertained. this kid is so hilarious, asking "when are we going on our next gay date?" commenting at my flirting "i don't know whether to straddle you or to stone you to death for being such a homo," suggesting "should we pull into a dark alley and make out to see if we can get gay bashed?" and commenting "I'm gonna be so sad when you dump me for someone who's tall and has a brain." even though it was just one of those eric pointless dating stories, it was really nice to meet a nice guy and go on fun dates. meh.
the thing weighing on me today is wondering if i should run away to pittsburgh. not that i want to... but brother jason is doing so poorly there, and he obstinately refuses to move back home. after receiving some remarkably dreary texts from him last night, i wondered if the only way to break his loneliness is to toss sarah in a uhaul and go over there to share his lonesomeness.
it was lovely to go to the disco thursday... i missed my germans and men and women like crazy after a shift away, and i was delighted to see that the feeling was mutual. even guests that don't like me all that much greeted me like a lost family member.
today i was at social security with a sweet older woman, who has a speech impediment due to a stroke. the lady at the counter was customarily terse. it was one of those days where i realize the level of degradation these people live in. the woman complained that the social security number old gal had entered at check-in was incorrect. she slurred "i couldn't figure out the key pad." next, the woman demanded to know why there was a new address on the woman's ID. old girl slurred "that old address is my daughter's...then i had to move to the shelter." her poise was so heartbreaking, as she heroically tried to maintain her dignity as a stranger sized up her shortcomings.
oh god, what's a happier thought. oh, hey, so manuel showed back up from new orleans. we drank a lot at bernice's, and i resolved to miss the history fair the next day. i woke up saturday, regretting the decision. then manuel ran into the room and began jumping on my bed shouting "good morning eric!" and all my regrets disappeared. we had a lovely day, him, holly, and me wandering about, eating pizza, etc. then i jaunted off to meredith's to meet her baby. friday i babysat cheyenne's baby, which was adorable. baby refused to go to bed, instead trying to yank my chicago flag off the wall and jumping around on my bed manuel-style. Mesler and i had one of our comic book/beer/mexican nights in logan square. in a delightfully odd night, laura's brother in law called me to invite me to a john michael talbot talk and sing along. that was pretty awesome. kimberly, ben, and i saw some odd hamfisted puertorican pride play about a mentally ill woman and her hubby holding a little girl hostage. a highlight was at the end when ben commented "from now on i pick which plays we go to..."
i went on a few dates with a really sweet kid. a diminutive mexican guy with a preposterously oversized chicago accent. first date was at simone's, where he awkwardly gesticulated as he stuttered "i'm just going to put it out there. i think there could be something between us..." date 2 was like a tv show. he picked me up in his car to drive me out to the suburbs for tapas. it all felt like a glamorous road trip; i'm happy to explore any new city, even if it is just a suburb. and ibrahim had given a pack of cigarettes for the occasion. many hours later he drove me home, and we made out a bit. the next day he decided we could no longer date, as our relationship was "pretty much just physical." which is odd, given that out of the 12 hours we were together maybe one hour involved kissing. I'm the only person who could get the "it's just physical" brush off without actually getting any action. also odd is that he continues to text me compulsively, which doesn't quite mesh with the we have no non-physical connection thing. whatever, point is, he's a doll, and a big part of the past few weeks was his keeping me entertained. this kid is so hilarious, asking "when are we going on our next gay date?" commenting at my flirting "i don't know whether to straddle you or to stone you to death for being such a homo," suggesting "should we pull into a dark alley and make out to see if we can get gay bashed?" and commenting "I'm gonna be so sad when you dump me for someone who's tall and has a brain." even though it was just one of those eric pointless dating stories, it was really nice to meet a nice guy and go on fun dates. meh.
the thing weighing on me today is wondering if i should run away to pittsburgh. not that i want to... but brother jason is doing so poorly there, and he obstinately refuses to move back home. after receiving some remarkably dreary texts from him last night, i wondered if the only way to break his loneliness is to toss sarah in a uhaul and go over there to share his lonesomeness.