Commentroversy Time!
When I saw my therapist (who I love, generally) this week, the topic of my not drinking came up. This has happened in the past, but we've really only touched on the subject.
I gave her the lowdown: I tried alcohol three times in three innocuous forms and I liked it, but the sense of self-worth that I get from belonging to the straightedge movement means more to me than that. The other bits--not doing drugs, not smoking, and no promiscuous sex--come easily, but the drinking gives me a lot of grief. I had a staring contest with a bottle of champagne back in July (Meester Alex will remember that one, maybe), but I won.
My therapist said that abstaining from alcohol for reasons of health or religion or even because I decided it wasn't for me was one thing, but I seem to have a "disturbing masochistic streak" and I'm putting myself into a box and locking it to shut myself off from the world in another way. Also, she said that beating someone down because they decided to change their views is more poisonous than any social drinking could be.
Well, she's probably true on both counts, but a lot of my self worth is tied up in the fact that I've stuck to this for a year. There are more things than not that I've stuck to in 21 years, and I want this to be one of them. Yes, it's going to suck right now, and another 70 years is a long time, but I hope that one day I can do this for the "right" reasons, and appreciate the fact that I abstained when I was young and it was a crappy age to deal with it--kind of like religion, really.
What do you think?
I gave her the lowdown: I tried alcohol three times in three innocuous forms and I liked it, but the sense of self-worth that I get from belonging to the straightedge movement means more to me than that. The other bits--not doing drugs, not smoking, and no promiscuous sex--come easily, but the drinking gives me a lot of grief. I had a staring contest with a bottle of champagne back in July (Meester Alex will remember that one, maybe), but I won.
My therapist said that abstaining from alcohol for reasons of health or religion or even because I decided it wasn't for me was one thing, but I seem to have a "disturbing masochistic streak" and I'm putting myself into a box and locking it to shut myself off from the world in another way. Also, she said that beating someone down because they decided to change their views is more poisonous than any social drinking could be.
Well, she's probably true on both counts, but a lot of my self worth is tied up in the fact that I've stuck to this for a year. There are more things than not that I've stuck to in 21 years, and I want this to be one of them. Yes, it's going to suck right now, and another 70 years is a long time, but I hope that one day I can do this for the "right" reasons, and appreciate the fact that I abstained when I was young and it was a crappy age to deal with it--kind of like religion, really.
What do you think?