LONG philosophical post to prove that this weekend wasn't all fun and games
A few months back I mentioned a book that I had read that I felt was a good basis for becoming and being a Peer. That book is Becoming a Person of Influence by John C. Maxwell. What follows is my first “takeaway” from that book and homework for my protégés.
It is common both within an Order and among those not yet recognized to talk of “PLQs” or Peer-Like Qualities. This is currently one of the least well defined aspects of Peerage, and one that I would like to see become less nebulous. My motivation is simple - I would like to see candidates evaluated against a more concrete set of expectations. Not a simple checklist, but rather a more solid set of criteria against which to measure candidates. Not only do I believe that this would result in more consistency across the Order of the Pelican (and if I dream really big across all Peerages and the Society) but it would also make it easier for mentors to provide more specific guidance to those that may need to improve in the area of “PLQs.”
One way to define PLQs is to look to the chivalric ideals. I, as do others (but not all), view chivalry as the sum total of the chivalric ideals. That is to say that if you embody, to at least some degree, each of the ideals then you will have achieved some level of chivalry. And I think most will agree that “chivalry” is a desirable trait in any Peer.
But, I believe that PLQs are more than just an embodiment of those ideals. In his book Becoming a Person of Influence, John C .Maxwell presents the concept that having personal integrity is the basis of having influence over others. Personal integrity is, in a nutshell, consistent demonstration of your moral and ethical principles. For a Peer in the SCA those principles may well include the chivalric ideals. They may include religious ideals, family values, etc. The bottom line is that to become a person of influence you must have integrity, which means that you must, first and foremost, be clear on your personal moral and ethical principles. You then must establish trust through consistently demonstrating those principles under all circumstances including crises.
When I look around the SCA and see those that wear the trappings of a Peer but who, in my opinion, fall short of the ideal, it is now clear to me that often what I am seeing is a lack of integrity. Perhaps the individual in question has not clearly defined a set of moral and ethical principles. Perhaps he or she has not consistently displayed those principles. Or perhaps their principles do not mesh with my own.
I believe that the last is the least common because most moral and ethical codes have similar foundations. Further, in those situations in which a person’s principles do not match my own (vs. their not having any or those that they do have being ill defined) I am usually able to recognize that our foundation differs in some way (but not necessarily in all ways) and as long as their principles are not inflicted on me nor do they have a significant impact on me I can respect those differences. An example is the concept of having an open marriage. It is not an arrangement that I personally would be comfortable with, however I can respect that there are those for whom it works and as long as they are operating consistently within their accepted code, that is to say with integrity, then we’re all good.
So, how does this apply to those that aspire to be a Peer or those that have already been recognized and are continuing on the path toward becoming a better Peer? It is clear to me that you need to begin by defining your moral and ethical principles. What are your thoughts on stealing? Is stealing any amount of money or an object of any worth counter to your principles? What about lying? And so on.
The book brings up several gems worth considering on this concept of integrity, including:
§ “Anytime you break a moral principle, you create a small crack in the foundation of your integrity.”
§ “Don’t do what you wouldn’t be comfortable reading about in the newspapers the next day.” (quote from Josh Weston, chairman and CEO of Automatic Data Processing, Inc.)
§ “One of the reasons that many people struggle with integrity issues is that they tend to look outside themselves to explain any deficiencies in character.” [I suspect that this helps explain why I tend to be drawn to introspective people.]
§ “When the people around you know that you are a person of integrity, they know that you want to influence them because of the opportunity to add value to their lives. They don’t have to worry about your motives.”
§ “The bottom line when it comes to integrity is that it allows others to trust you. And without trust, you have nothing.”
For those playing along at home, which better include my protégés, you may want to look at the questions listed on the bottom of page 24. There are 10 questions identified as “Questions to Help You Measure Your Integrity.”
- How well do I treat people from whom I can gain nothing?
- Am I transparent with others [meaning am I up front about my shortcomings]
- Do I role-play based on the person(s) I’m with?
- Am I the same person when I’m in the spotlights as I am when I’m alone?
- Do I quickly admit wrongdoing without being pressed to do so?
- Do I put other people ahead of my personal agenda? [I would apply a caution on this one that there are absolutely times when it is appropriate and acceptable to put your personal agenda first! How you do it becomes the real issue here, in my opinion.]
- Do I have an unchanging standard for moral decisions, or do circumstances determine my choices?
- Do I make difficult decisions, even when they have a personal cost attached to them?
- When I have something to say about people, do I talk to them or about them?
- Am I accountable to at least one other person for what I think, say, and do?
Clearly you should first be asking these questions about yourself. Don’t gloss over these. Really think about them. And, if you find yourself lacking, work on rebuilding the foundation in those areas that require it. If you aren’t sure, ask your friends for some perspective.
Next, ask these questions about the Peers that you admire. I’m guessing that you will find that the responses to these questions about them indicate a good bit of integrity.
Ask these questions about the Peers that you find lacking. I’m guessing that, like me, you will have an “ah ha!” moment in which you realize that they are short on integrity or that their ethical and moral principles differ significantly from your own.
Finally, if you are a Peer faced with a candidate, ask these questions about that candidate. Does he or she have integrity? Do his or her principles align with the ideals or, at a minimum, the expectations of the Order? [Of course this quickly leads to the question of what are the expectations of the Order or Orders?]
If you find that a candidate is lacking in integrity is there something that you can do about it? If you find that this dovetails into those oh so nebulous “PLQs” then you may be able to be much more specific when providing guidance. For example rather than simply saying that he or she seems to be lacking in PLQs you can now point out that he or she appears to routinely apply situational ethics. Those that are mentoring that individual can address something far more concrete and perhaps help that person along the path to becoming a better person and, perhaps, ultimately a Peer.
The next passage that I feel is significant is on page 28 and provides a list of the qualities of integrity that must be developed and lived in order to become a positive influence on others. The list is as follows:
Model consistency of character.
Employ honest communication.
Value transparency [goes back to the concept of allowing others to see your flaws]
Exemplify humility.
Demonstrate your support of others.
Fulfill your promises.
Embrace an attitude of service.
Encourage two-way participation with the people you influence.
There is detail on each in the book, but hopefully this will give you some food for thought. Again, look inside yourself and see how many of these are already habitual in your life and which ones you might need to work on a bit.
Now for some of my own thoughts about all of this. First, it was very easy for me to replace the words “person of influence” throughout the book with “Peer.” After all, what is a Peer, but a person of influence - whether by choice or by the nature of having being recognized as a Peer? Second, as I shared above, it quickly become clear to me that integrity is what is often lacking in those that wear the outward symbols of a Peerage and yet seem to fall short of being a Peer. Third, it should go without saying that I’ve found some areas for improvement in my own foundation principles and my integrity. I will likely be asking people for some guidance and brutal honesty in the upcoming months as I begin working on those weaknesses.
Those areas of specific weakness that I see are talking about rather than to people that I have problems with and making/keeping commitments (I know, I know - duh!). If anyone knows of other areas in which they see weakness, please hit me with a clue-by-four!
To my protégés and other that wish to play along:
1. Using the questions on page 24 and 25 do a self-assessment and share what you view as your strengths and your weaknesses (Protégés: you can either reply to this post or send me an e-mail, copying your protégé sibs).
2. Share your plan for working on those areas that you feel need some improvement. (Again, protégés, this may be via response to this post or a private e-mail to me, copying your sibs.)
Please note that I have left this post unlocked so that if you wish to direct others to it you may do so. I do ask that nothing here be reprinted or shared elsewhere in writing without my permission. Not that there is anything sacred here - I just don't want to be blindsided.