It's 2 a.m. and I must be alone now...
...well I am alone now but that's a good thing.
First, Blaine is pretty fucked up right now so I'll try to make as much sense of this entry as possible. After a very lenghty conversation with a few of my friends (all of which happen to be lapsed Catholics much like myself) we've come to realize that this concept of "the meaning of life is utter horseshit.
What's the meaning of life? The meaning of life is by and far to put meaning into your life. Meaning can't be handed down by some "guy" in the sky that you can't see or have enver seen. Meaning can't be dicated to you without your direct involvement. Meaning can only be put into your life by you (the universal you). Our lives are what we make of them. How we live, how we choose to carry ourselves, what we decide to do with our freetime, who we decide to marry and have a family with or who we decide not to be. It's all up to us in the end. The meaning of life is for US to put meanings into our own lives in order to make sense of life in an otherwise mundane experience.
It is also possible that I may want to get married, well, at least not until later on down the road. I'm 23 and I was with four other guys tonight, three of which who are also 23 and already married. Did I care? No. Did I feel the need to get married? No. I was actually kind of sorry for them because I feel that the three of them have all jumped into their marriages. It's not that I don't want to get married, I just don't want to get married now. I've also realized that I don't want to get involved with anyone on a serious level, at least right now. I like my freedom and I like this time where I have been able to really find myself after some of the worst experiences someone could possibly encounter.
Jessica...I truly do hate you and I wish to everything that you believe in that you will leave me alone. That means no 3 a.m. calls (in which I don't answer), that means no emails in which I don't reply, that means no letters in which I don't respond. We are done, we were always done if you think about it and we will always be done. You are one of the worst people I've had in my life and I don't need you. I wish you luck in your future but your future will not be apart of mine.
Maria...I'm sorry dear but you are just too bland for me. You are really sweet and you are fun to hang around with but I just dont' see anything there with us. It's not that you aren't my type, it's just more of the fact that you have such a weird personality. I can't get a good read off of you and you never talk or express yoruself and I really can't be a part of that.
Jenny....uh, go away.
Allison, no.
I will remain single for sometime to come because I haven't found anyone that I'm even remotely interested in, but that's ok. The las six months or so have really allowed me to find the inner-Blaine, that person I once was before Jessica got a hold of me and decided to change everything around. P.S...you are going to be in school for 8 years because you have no drive and you aren't motivated. Not to mention lazy, shallow, psychotic, unstable, etc. Your life will mean very little and I think you know it. And I think that's what honestly scares you the most. That's why you pretend to be so much better than the next person. News in...the next person is always better than you....
If I'm harsh, fuck it. If I' mean, fuck it too...just leave me alone because it will never happen again.
Time to pass my drunk ass out.
First, Blaine is pretty fucked up right now so I'll try to make as much sense of this entry as possible. After a very lenghty conversation with a few of my friends (all of which happen to be lapsed Catholics much like myself) we've come to realize that this concept of "the meaning of life is utter horseshit.
What's the meaning of life? The meaning of life is by and far to put meaning into your life. Meaning can't be handed down by some "guy" in the sky that you can't see or have enver seen. Meaning can't be dicated to you without your direct involvement. Meaning can only be put into your life by you (the universal you). Our lives are what we make of them. How we live, how we choose to carry ourselves, what we decide to do with our freetime, who we decide to marry and have a family with or who we decide not to be. It's all up to us in the end. The meaning of life is for US to put meanings into our own lives in order to make sense of life in an otherwise mundane experience.
It is also possible that I may want to get married, well, at least not until later on down the road. I'm 23 and I was with four other guys tonight, three of which who are also 23 and already married. Did I care? No. Did I feel the need to get married? No. I was actually kind of sorry for them because I feel that the three of them have all jumped into their marriages. It's not that I don't want to get married, I just don't want to get married now. I've also realized that I don't want to get involved with anyone on a serious level, at least right now. I like my freedom and I like this time where I have been able to really find myself after some of the worst experiences someone could possibly encounter.
Jessica...I truly do hate you and I wish to everything that you believe in that you will leave me alone. That means no 3 a.m. calls (in which I don't answer), that means no emails in which I don't reply, that means no letters in which I don't respond. We are done, we were always done if you think about it and we will always be done. You are one of the worst people I've had in my life and I don't need you. I wish you luck in your future but your future will not be apart of mine.
Maria...I'm sorry dear but you are just too bland for me. You are really sweet and you are fun to hang around with but I just dont' see anything there with us. It's not that you aren't my type, it's just more of the fact that you have such a weird personality. I can't get a good read off of you and you never talk or express yoruself and I really can't be a part of that.
Jenny....uh, go away.
Allison, no.
I will remain single for sometime to come because I haven't found anyone that I'm even remotely interested in, but that's ok. The las six months or so have really allowed me to find the inner-Blaine, that person I once was before Jessica got a hold of me and decided to change everything around. P.S...you are going to be in school for 8 years because you have no drive and you aren't motivated. Not to mention lazy, shallow, psychotic, unstable, etc. Your life will mean very little and I think you know it. And I think that's what honestly scares you the most. That's why you pretend to be so much better than the next person. News in...the next person is always better than you....
If I'm harsh, fuck it. If I' mean, fuck it too...just leave me alone because it will never happen again.
Time to pass my drunk ass out.