(no subject)
"Open your eyes, look at me
I'll bring to you whatever you need.
And I'll tell you I'm sorry
That I can't take this pain away from you
And I'd put it on my own body if I knew how to."
I keep thinking this will get better and I'm always stupid and get my hopes up... Today things seemed good for the longest time. And suddenly he just seemed bothered. He said he feels like he's leading me on, but how can you lead someone on when they already know they don't want you? I honestly consider him to be one of my best friends, although I'm probably just some stupid girl to him. It's so hard because he never seems to tell me anything about what he feels or thinks. I hate when he gets upset or depressed and decides that he shouldn't talk or see me because it's not fair to me when really him doing that is not fair. I wish so badly that I could make him feel better, that he wouldn't have to feel bad for me or about me. I feel even worse for crying when he took me home, it's not that fact that he wanted me to leave but that I never feel wanted anywhere that made me cry. I hate myself for crying.