(no subject)
"wayward and highstrung. she is lovesick and ever so strong."
That boy I mentioned before... well he is amazing in my eyes. Looking back to last year, I never would have thought I would have been with him. But now not being with him is killing me. I still see and talk to him, but knowing I had him, knowing I couldn't make him feel the way I felt, it just feels like I've died a little inside. Sometimes, when I'm with him, I kinda start to think that maybe he still cares, that maybe he still has some sort of feelings for me. He still holds me close, keeps me warm like always. Lately, just the look in his eyes or his smirk just makes me think that maybe, just maybe, he still cares. But then I have to remind myself that I'm most likely just seeing what I want, what I want so bad. It seems silly to torture myself, maybe I'm sick, but I'd rather torture myself than stay away. Thinking about everything with him, especially the first kiss, I just want to cry, he said it would go away but it hasn't... I just hide it better.
It seems like everyone is going through so much this year. Especially Chantelle and Tanisha. I love them so much and I'm always there is they need me. It's gonna be really sad when Chantelle leaves for Edmonton, I'll miss her so much. I just hate how people always seem to leave me when I really need them...