To be or...
Decisions... My worst nightmare, and yet I can. At least in this matter I decided to be strict. Dates are dates and when something isn't cleared to the time it should be then I won't be waiting for somebody's mercy. Maybe it's a mistake, maybe I should be waiting patiently like a lamb for its turn in the deathline, but I don't want to. I'm suffocating here.
Old desires come back to the surface like a corpse and look at me with eyes wide open. I'm sure of one thing now- that I want to go away, even if only for a week or so. I don't care what will happen in the meantime. If now I've just put a cross on myself and my future carrer as a "proud" student, but I don't give a fuck. I can always start in the next year. I know I will. For once I want to sleep during my free time without being bothered with bad dreams about my exams, without worries about the whole trip there and back... I just want a different air, different people who don't know me and are not interested who I am. People I can look at like they were amusing creatures on some kind of a show... Strange strets, strange faces, and me in it.
Tomorrow is the last day of me waiting for any decision and also the day of the preparation for some time off... Will I regret this? Maybe. Maybe I'm regretting this already. So what? Fucking life... Laugh, laugh and point your finger at me... Who knows better than me how pathetic I am?
Old desires come back to the surface like a corpse and look at me with eyes wide open. I'm sure of one thing now- that I want to go away, even if only for a week or so. I don't care what will happen in the meantime. If now I've just put a cross on myself and my future carrer as a "proud" student, but I don't give a fuck. I can always start in the next year. I know I will. For once I want to sleep during my free time without being bothered with bad dreams about my exams, without worries about the whole trip there and back... I just want a different air, different people who don't know me and are not interested who I am. People I can look at like they were amusing creatures on some kind of a show... Strange strets, strange faces, and me in it.
Tomorrow is the last day of me waiting for any decision and also the day of the preparation for some time off... Will I regret this? Maybe. Maybe I'm regretting this already. So what? Fucking life... Laugh, laugh and point your finger at me... Who knows better than me how pathetic I am?