Drunken Master
I pretended to be drunk last night. I think I was good at it. Hehe.
Prologue: "Ate, Your Friend Doesn't Seem So Smart To Me"
Bored Rich Girl With Inner Fire, her intellectual father, and her bored brother treated me to late dinner at this Chinese restaurant. The conversation made me feel a little stupid. They explained to me what an aspen was and why it was considered the world's largest tree, and who Doctor Phil was (spell check) and how David Letterman makes fun of him. This was information everyone in the table knew that I didn't, and everyone wanted to painstakingly impart me with the knowledge. They even interrupted each other to be the first one to explain it to me. I suppose they're a family who converses often; they all knew the same things. I was sure I looked like a poor conversationalist.
They dropped me off in a corner in Ortigas where this church stood. I rushed in the rain to take a pee in the cruisy toilet there. Gay guys standing around.
"Pare, Madali Ka Bang Mapasunod Kung Lasing Ka?"
I pretended to wait for the rain to stop, checking out the scene. I found myself being interrogated by a couple of guys. Told them the story of being treated to dinner and being dropped off and waiting for the rain to stop. Told them I had a few drinks. They were playing scenarios in their head. A lightbulb went off in mine. They asked if I was drunk. I said no, trying to sound like a drunk guy in denial. Let the games begin, hehe.
They were looking at each other deviously. One guy, the dark, brusque one, let's call him Elmer, asked if I could be persuaded to do things when drunk. This Elmer was brushing his hands against my body wittingly-unwittingly (nanananching ba), and I pretended not to notice.
The other guy, the more effeminate one, let's call him Vincent, said my eyes were my "asset", his words. Elmer said so was my nose and my lips. Vincent said I looked like one actor in Channel 7. I wonder which actor.
The rain stopped and I said I was going. Elmer and I were going the same direction, while Vincent was going another direction. It was obvious Vincent wanted to join us, saying at the last minute he wanted to walk with us even though he already said his house was the other way. It was obvious, too, that Elmer didn't want Vincent to come along. He would tell me later that he disliked effeminate gays.
So Elmer and I walked together.
Elmer: Sabihin mo ang totoo, callboy ka ba?
Me: Bakit mo nasabi yon?
Elmer: Alam mo kasi, ang gwapo gwapo mo.
Me: (natanga; thinking this guy's deluded)
Elmer: Nagulat ako nung nakita kita doon.
Smile lang ako. He said I looked "untouchable," that not even a fly could touch me. He said I looked "suplado"; he didn't think I'd give him attention. Grabe, I felt worshipped.
Me: Hindi ka mukhang bading. Mukha kang lalaki.
Elmer: Lalo ka na. Mukha kang lalaking lalaki.
Woah, hyperbolic. So I told him I've done the callboy thing, but I don't consider myself a callboy. It might have sounded like I was a callboy in denial. He said he can't pay me. I didn't want him to, anyway. It would be a bad thing to do, what with his financial problems.
At the convenience store, I bought us two Mountain Dews. He was a little embarassed, saying "nabaliktad pa," that I was the one who ended up treating him. Okay lang, I said. Sometime during the evening, I let him have a small taste of me, though. Hehe. Best Performance in a "Seduced Drunk Straight Guy" Role. I can't believe I sustained the act for that long. He wants to see me again. I told him not to think about it.
"Hi, Anong Oras Ka Na Nakauwi Kagabi?"
This afternoon, that other guy Vincent, texts me. He was asking if Elmer and I were seated side by side in the bus when we went home last night. Haha, he wanted to find out if Elmer had a good one on me. I said I was alone in the bus. He asked again. He was obviously feeling left out.
Me: selos ka? hehe joke.
Vincent: medyo ang cute mo kasi, pero may nangyari sa inyo o wala?
Ain't that funny. I said I don't remember much from last night.
Prologue: "Ate, Your Friend Doesn't Seem So Smart To Me"
Bored Rich Girl With Inner Fire, her intellectual father, and her bored brother treated me to late dinner at this Chinese restaurant. The conversation made me feel a little stupid. They explained to me what an aspen was and why it was considered the world's largest tree, and who Doctor Phil was (spell check) and how David Letterman makes fun of him. This was information everyone in the table knew that I didn't, and everyone wanted to painstakingly impart me with the knowledge. They even interrupted each other to be the first one to explain it to me. I suppose they're a family who converses often; they all knew the same things. I was sure I looked like a poor conversationalist.
They dropped me off in a corner in Ortigas where this church stood. I rushed in the rain to take a pee in the cruisy toilet there. Gay guys standing around.
"Pare, Madali Ka Bang Mapasunod Kung Lasing Ka?"
I pretended to wait for the rain to stop, checking out the scene. I found myself being interrogated by a couple of guys. Told them the story of being treated to dinner and being dropped off and waiting for the rain to stop. Told them I had a few drinks. They were playing scenarios in their head. A lightbulb went off in mine. They asked if I was drunk. I said no, trying to sound like a drunk guy in denial. Let the games begin, hehe.
They were looking at each other deviously. One guy, the dark, brusque one, let's call him Elmer, asked if I could be persuaded to do things when drunk. This Elmer was brushing his hands against my body wittingly-unwittingly (nanananching ba), and I pretended not to notice.
The other guy, the more effeminate one, let's call him Vincent, said my eyes were my "asset", his words. Elmer said so was my nose and my lips. Vincent said I looked like one actor in Channel 7. I wonder which actor.
The rain stopped and I said I was going. Elmer and I were going the same direction, while Vincent was going another direction. It was obvious Vincent wanted to join us, saying at the last minute he wanted to walk with us even though he already said his house was the other way. It was obvious, too, that Elmer didn't want Vincent to come along. He would tell me later that he disliked effeminate gays.
So Elmer and I walked together.
Elmer: Sabihin mo ang totoo, callboy ka ba?
Me: Bakit mo nasabi yon?
Elmer: Alam mo kasi, ang gwapo gwapo mo.
Me: (natanga; thinking this guy's deluded)
Elmer: Nagulat ako nung nakita kita doon.
Smile lang ako. He said I looked "untouchable," that not even a fly could touch me. He said I looked "suplado"; he didn't think I'd give him attention. Grabe, I felt worshipped.
Me: Hindi ka mukhang bading. Mukha kang lalaki.
Elmer: Lalo ka na. Mukha kang lalaking lalaki.
Woah, hyperbolic. So I told him I've done the callboy thing, but I don't consider myself a callboy. It might have sounded like I was a callboy in denial. He said he can't pay me. I didn't want him to, anyway. It would be a bad thing to do, what with his financial problems.
At the convenience store, I bought us two Mountain Dews. He was a little embarassed, saying "nabaliktad pa," that I was the one who ended up treating him. Okay lang, I said. Sometime during the evening, I let him have a small taste of me, though. Hehe. Best Performance in a "Seduced Drunk Straight Guy" Role. I can't believe I sustained the act for that long. He wants to see me again. I told him not to think about it.
"Hi, Anong Oras Ka Na Nakauwi Kagabi?"
This afternoon, that other guy Vincent, texts me. He was asking if Elmer and I were seated side by side in the bus when we went home last night. Haha, he wanted to find out if Elmer had a good one on me. I said I was alone in the bus. He asked again. He was obviously feeling left out.
Me: selos ka? hehe joke.
Vincent: medyo ang cute mo kasi, pero may nangyari sa inyo o wala?
Ain't that funny. I said I don't remember much from last night.