No seriously... I do.... and only two are actually known... One was for the guard girls.... one is this one... one is private and the other is a secured Friends only LJ
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I did read it... I'll get around to that shortly hopefully.
I'd be happy to revitalize LJ... but I don't foresee that coming back to life.. Although I may retire Dalralmi permanently and take up a previous LJ I created in 2007 that I never posted in to try and get a different support community. Although I'm pretty oppose to strangers.. especially internet strangers.
I don't understand Facebook and people on Facebook. I don't want to be friends with people I KNOW... If I don't talk to you .. why would I want to reconnect with you? And there are many people I don't want to know/see things on Facebook. and you can't get those privacy settings individualized enough for me.
I ONLY friend people I talk to regularly or care about significantly... and I go through my friends list every couple months and start deleting out those I feel no longer deemed to my friends status. I don't care what people friend me or not but you are not my friend because we went to high school together... or because we were in band together... just because I've associated with you at some point in my life doesn't mean too much to me when you try to "reconnect" the friendship you apparently didn't care enough to hold onto but suddenly need a friend count?
I can certainly sympathize with this to a certain extent. I basically never use facebook, except to occasionally look up photos on someone's friends page, and I do find it really weird and awkward that I'm friends with a bunch of people and that they can see things that go in there. My solution has basically been to just not really put anything on facebook because the other way (manually going through and organizing/deleting people) is too much effort.
However, re: your last thought, I find your viewpoint fascinating. Do you not enjoy reconnecting with people at all? I don't mean in a facebook way of them friending you and seeing your pictures and status update and all of the other things that facebook makes WAY TOO public, but in a more synchronized interactive way? Do you believe that to show caring in a friendship one needs to have interaction with said friend with some amount of frequency (say, more like least once week vs. a couple of times a year)? In your opinion is it possible to call yourself friends with someone who you only see/talk to very infrequently?
I like to occasionally reconnect with people I used to know well because I found them to be interesting and fun people, and I still like to hear what they are up to. I would argue that I reconnect with people I "know" because I DON'T know them (there's just some sort of guarantee that I will enjoy the conversation because I previously liked talking to them, and I don't need to introduce myself and get bogged down in the formalities).
I know you aren't really looking for advice, at least not from me, but if you are looking for new people, I actually have a suggestion. One of my friends has had good success with internet dating sites, like OKCupid. I know, I know, you say "...but I'm not looking to DATE someone. I already HAVE a loving relationship," but apparently you can meet interesting people even if you are in a relationship and don't want another, as long as you make it clear on your profile. I gave it a brief try, and I didn't really find anyone interesting, but I also didn't put much effort into it, so your mileage may vary. Lea says she only responds to people's messages and never actively looks for new people, but that it's a lot of fun and a good way to meet people. You don't have to give out your name, and if you don't like the people you meet then there's no obligation to contact them further.
Sorry about the long comment. I'm just curious about your thoughts on these things, since it's something I have thought about a lot, and you have a viewpoint that is quite different than mine, so I learn a lot by hearing your thoughts.
In response to your below comment. I only delete entries that really mean nothing. Most of the super short ones. "I have a test in ten minutes" or song lyrics. I have a LOT of posts of just song lyrics. I also delete pictured posts where most of the pictures have been taken down anyway so it deems pointless to print out a journal entry talkinng about Photos that can't be seen. I delete ones showing off new icons I no longer have stored. I also delete stuff that I no longer can understand. If I can't remember what the hell I was talking about I won't hold onto it either. Especially when I find printing out and using 8 reams of paper and finding a place to store that much journaling I just don't think it matters anymore. I do however keep random things that i find stupid... Like descriptions of my day at school.
As for Facebook and Friends. I pray this response doesn't grow too long or ramble. I LIKE facebook as a place to store photos and status updates and even show someone how m uch fun I had at a place they may not see. Like a friend in Atlanta who used to go to the Zoo with me can see my zoo pictures. I enjoy that aspect. I get sick of joining a website for the sake of joining it and having another password. So having a place to show off pictures and view my friends is nice. Especially when I tlak to this person often.
Where it gets annoying is when I get updated on every status update or photo dump of people I really don't care enough about to view the photos or read the status. I dislike the Meme's I dislike the applications... I dislike the games. And even though most of my friends fill my news with such nonsense The people I don't friend pretty much USE facebook for games and a friend count.
I have many people I consider friends that I don't connect with often.. however I connect with those people often enough. Tenshi for instance is far away I haven't seen her in over a year... That doesn't make her less my friend. But I consciously try to connect with her a couple times a month.. even if it's just to say have a nice day. I think friends need that. no matter WHERE they are. With technology the way it is I find no excuse to not actively pursue speaking to people you care about.
The flipside of this is seeing people. There are many people I'd love ot hang out with again (who I refuse to friend on facebook), but at the same time I don't consider them friends. I am hard to forget and you of ALL people should know I hold grudges if they strike me deep. All those poeple from High School who were my BEST FRIENDS upon graduating (guard people and SOME corner people) didn't even ATTEMPT to connect when I ran away to college.. and I TRIED hard to try with them. Suddenly I wasn't their friend... and all of a sudden four years later they try and convince me how great of friends we once were? Also people who I didn't even TALK to in High School have tried friending me. Or people from band who treated me like CRAP suddenly are like OH I KNOW YOU WHAT'S UP WITH YOU? I don't agree with that.
Continued... I REALLY look forward to a reunion with everyone in five years, but at the same time it will be civil a big laugh... but I don't expect to walk away wishing I had tried to friend them on facebook. If someone conciously tried to return my friendship or wasn't a jerk to me... or tried to contact me yes I'd say we can try things again... but Yes... I DO believe that their is some interaction to be considered my friend. There is NO reason to just fly off the map. I have plenty of people who I don't see on a regular basis.. but I talk to them often... Sophia is one of those people... I probably only call her every few months, but we can still talk and joke and be merry. Family is different.. in the sense I don't talk to them EVER.. but plans are made to visit and that takes the place of the normal conversation.
I'd love to see what everyone was up to (especially the guard girls I spent three years with pretty much exclusively) but after I found out I think I'd be content in just letting it go... because I feel I have been done wrong by the lack of trying to communicate with me. Even by you although we have had our ins and outs and I can't say i was the easiest person to talk to when it came to you.
I'm not one to MEET people online... And I'm not one for strangers.. I have horrible agora/agra/Social phobia (seperation anxiety) which is why meeting strangers drives me crazy... if I'm anywhere (party wise or out with a group) and I don't know even ONE of the people I'm with I close up.
My main thing is I find it tedious to have to explain to someone SO outside the situation what is now going on. If you cared... why didn't you ask three years ago.
I'm not oppose to reconnecting with old friends and becoming friends again.. but I believe in a system that you fall in and out of friendship... and you are either an aquaintence or "in the past" Most people who use to be friends with me are now aquaintences... even those I still talk to occasionally I just don't feel an emotional bond to... I feel almost like that person that they just are friends with to hold onto something that doens't exist anymore.
In summary... I could ENJOY time with people... but they wouldn't be my friends... they would be aquaintences... and I find it a waste of time to try if they never did... I have more important things going on in my life to reconnect with people who apparently didn't care enough to see what was going on with me. i have strange viewpoints of people nowadays... and I tend to find people who don't believe in my values unworthy of talking ot me... cause they irritate me more and more the longer I associate with them. I find their problems solely their own fault.
And I've rambled enough.. I'm sure somewhere I've upset you... and in turn await the response you will wish to respond with.
I'd be happy to revitalize LJ... but I don't foresee that coming back to life.. Although I may retire Dalralmi permanently and take up a previous LJ I created in 2007 that I never posted in to try and get a different support community. Although I'm pretty oppose to strangers.. especially internet strangers.
I don't understand Facebook and people on Facebook. I don't want to be friends with people I KNOW... If I don't talk to you .. why would I want to reconnect with you? And there are many people I don't want to know/see things on Facebook. and you can't get those privacy settings individualized enough for me.
I ONLY friend people I talk to regularly or care about significantly... and I go through my friends list every couple months and start deleting out those I feel no longer deemed to my friends status. I don't care what people friend me or not but you are not my friend because we went to high school together... or because we were in band together... just because I've associated with you at some point in my life doesn't mean too much to me when you try to "reconnect" the friendship you apparently didn't care enough to hold onto but suddenly need a friend count?
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However, re: your last thought, I find your viewpoint fascinating. Do you not enjoy reconnecting with people at all? I don't mean in a facebook way of them friending you and seeing your pictures and status update and all of the other things that facebook makes WAY TOO public, but in a more synchronized interactive way? Do you believe that to show caring in a friendship one needs to have interaction with said friend with some amount of frequency (say, more like least once week vs. a couple of times a year)? In your opinion is it possible to call yourself friends with someone who you only see/talk to very infrequently?
I like to occasionally reconnect with people I used to know well because I found them to be interesting and fun people, and I still like to hear what they are up to. I would argue that I reconnect with people I "know" because I DON'T know them (there's just some sort of guarantee that I will enjoy the conversation because I previously liked talking to them, and I don't need to introduce myself and get bogged down in the formalities).
I know you aren't really looking for advice, at least not from me, but if you are looking for new people, I actually have a suggestion. One of my friends has had good success with internet dating sites, like OKCupid. I know, I know, you say "...but I'm not looking to DATE someone. I already HAVE a loving relationship," but apparently you can meet interesting people even if you are in a relationship and don't want another, as long as you make it clear on your profile. I gave it a brief try, and I didn't really find anyone interesting, but I also didn't put much effort into it, so your mileage may vary. Lea says she only responds to people's messages and never actively looks for new people, but that it's a lot of fun and a good way to meet people. You don't have to give out your name, and if you don't like the people you meet then there's no obligation to contact them further.
Sorry about the long comment. I'm just curious about your thoughts on these things, since it's something I have thought about a lot, and you have a viewpoint that is quite different than mine, so I learn a lot by hearing your thoughts.
Reply
As for Facebook and Friends. I pray this response doesn't grow too long or ramble. I LIKE facebook as a place to store photos and status updates and even show someone how m uch fun I had at a place they may not see. Like a friend in Atlanta who used to go to the Zoo with me can see my zoo pictures. I enjoy that aspect. I get sick of joining a website for the sake of joining it and having another password. So having a place to show off pictures and view my friends is nice. Especially when I tlak to this person often.
Where it gets annoying is when I get updated on every status update or photo dump of people I really don't care enough about to view the photos or read the status. I dislike the Meme's I dislike the applications... I dislike the games. And even though most of my friends fill my news with such nonsense The people I don't friend pretty much USE facebook for games and a friend count.
I have many people I consider friends that I don't connect with often.. however I connect with those people often enough. Tenshi for instance is far away I haven't seen her in over a year... That doesn't make her less my friend. But I consciously try to connect with her a couple times a month.. even if it's just to say have a nice day. I think friends need that. no matter WHERE they are. With technology the way it is I find no excuse to not actively pursue speaking to people you care about.
The flipside of this is seeing people. There are many people I'd love ot hang out with again (who I refuse to friend on facebook), but at the same time I don't consider them friends. I am hard to forget and you of ALL people should know I hold grudges if they strike me deep. All those poeple from High School who were my BEST FRIENDS upon graduating (guard people and SOME corner people) didn't even ATTEMPT to connect when I ran away to college.. and I TRIED hard to try with them. Suddenly I wasn't their friend... and all of a sudden four years later they try and convince me how great of friends we once were? Also people who I didn't even TALK to in High School have tried friending me. Or people from band who treated me like CRAP suddenly are like OH I KNOW YOU WHAT'S UP WITH YOU? I don't agree with that.
Reply
Continued...
I REALLY look forward to a reunion with everyone in five years, but at the same time it will be civil a big laugh... but I don't expect to walk away wishing I had tried to friend them on facebook. If someone conciously tried to return my friendship or wasn't a jerk to me... or tried to contact me yes I'd say we can try things again... but Yes... I DO believe that their is some interaction to be considered my friend. There is NO reason to just fly off the map. I have plenty of people who I don't see on a regular basis.. but I talk to them often... Sophia is one of those people... I probably only call her every few months, but we can still talk and joke and be merry. Family is different.. in the sense I don't talk to them EVER.. but plans are made to visit and that takes the place of the normal conversation.
I'd love to see what everyone was up to (especially the guard girls I spent three years with pretty much exclusively) but after I found out I think I'd be content in just letting it go... because I feel I have been done wrong by the lack of trying to communicate with me. Even by you although we have had our ins and outs and I can't say i was the easiest person to talk to when it came to you.
I'm not one to MEET people online... And I'm not one for strangers.. I have horrible agora/agra/Social phobia (seperation anxiety) which is why meeting strangers drives me crazy... if I'm anywhere (party wise or out with a group) and I don't know even ONE of the people I'm with I close up.
My main thing is I find it tedious to have to explain to someone SO outside the situation what is now going on. If you cared... why didn't you ask three years ago.
I'm not oppose to reconnecting with old friends and becoming friends again.. but I believe in a system that you fall in and out of friendship... and you are either an aquaintence or "in the past" Most people who use to be friends with me are now aquaintences... even those I still talk to occasionally I just don't feel an emotional bond to... I feel almost like that person that they just are friends with to hold onto something that doens't exist anymore.
In summary... I could ENJOY time with people... but they wouldn't be my friends... they would be aquaintences... and I find it a waste of time to try if they never did... I have more important things going on in my life to reconnect with people who apparently didn't care enough to see what was going on with me. i have strange viewpoints of people nowadays... and I tend to find people who don't believe in my values unworthy of talking ot me... cause they irritate me more and more the longer I associate with them. I find their problems solely their own fault.
And I've rambled enough.. I'm sure somewhere I've upset you... and in turn await the response you will wish to respond with.
Reply
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